“For better or worse” is taking a turn for the worse.

Same-sex couples lined up to get marriage licenses in California last week, after my state became the second in the U.S. to allow gay marriage. Gay-rights activists, fighting for nationwide recognition of same-sex unions, want the same rights and privileges as married heterosexual couples’.

Previously, several states, including California, recognized same-sex civil unions to provide many of marriage’s legal benefits, including property, parental, and medical rights. But more than marital rights, gay-rights activists want society to see them as legitimate couples. “Civil unions are unfamiliar; people don’t understand them or know how to treat them … . Marriage is the ultimate expression of love and commitment; people understand and respect it,” reads a publication from the Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD) website. As Brad Sears, executive director of the Williams Project on Sexual Orientation Law at UCLA, explained in a PBS interview, civil unions “do not provide gay couples with the social recognition and support that the institution of marriage provides.” The word marriage, gay-rights activists believe, is power.

Is it OK to wonder why he allows suffering?

Maria Sue Chapman, the five-year-old daughter of veteran Christian singer Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth, was accidentally struck and killed by a car last week. As I read the news of Maria’s death, I asked God my most oft-repeated question: Why?

On learning the details, I shifted to a more accusatory question: How could you allow this, God? Some of the Chapman children witnessed the accident in the family’s driveway. The driver who accidentally hit Maria was her 17-year-old brother. And their mother, Mary Beth, has long struggled with depression. From my perspective, the loss was too much for the Chapman family. From my perspective, God should have stopped the car.

Churches need to be forthcoming about financial matters.

Money’s a topic that makes people squirm. Many couples can’t have a candid conversation about purchases or budgets or checking account balances. Perhaps this reticence explains why the median credit card debt in American households is $6,600, according to CardTrak.com.

Similarly, churches—both their leaders and members—seem to have a hard time speaking plainly about finances. I’ve heard plenty of long, flowery speeches about firstfruits, multiplication, and abundance. And I’ve listened to a few drawn-out threats that God will forcibly take what’s his if I don’t freely give it. One church I visited took two offerings; and several friends’ churches have passed the plate as many as five times in one service.

Should churches team up with secular groups for a cause they both value?

If Tree Top, the apple juice company, offered your church a donation for outreach ministries, would you take it? What if Coca-Cola gave a contribution, no strings attached, to your building fund? Or if Budweiser sent a sizable amount for your missions project?

Some of you will consider those questions carefully. Others of you will dismiss them altogether—after all, they pose hypothetical situations that probably won’t happen to you.

Who’s giving the church a bad reputation? Perhaps I am.

I was shocked and dismayed to hear actor Heath Ledger died last month. Shocked, because Ledger was only 28. Dismayed, because I learned of his passing through an MSNBC.com article titled “Church Plans to Protest Ledger’s Memorial.”

Apparently, Fred Phelps’s family is at it again. Fred Phelps is the founder of Westboro Baptist Church (WBC), a group known for vigorously condemning homosexuality through protests, videos, and websites such as GodHatesFags.com. They believe the Iraq war is God’s punishment for America’s acceptance of homosexuality, and they became infamous for picketing funerals of U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq. Ledger became WBC’s target because he played a gay cowboy in the 2005 movie Brokeback Mountain.

Is faith the most important issue in the 2008 presidential race?

News reports indicate religious faith is one of the most important issues in the 2008 presidential election—right up there with the Iraq war, economy, immigration, environment, education, health care, and terrorism. I wonder, When did faith become an "issue"?

I don't know whether pundits, political analysts, or the presidential candidates themselves decided faith would be a hot topic for this election. Maybe the public—or even we Christians—did. In any case, candidates clearly are making their beliefs known. Mike Huckabee's campaign slogan is "Faith. Family. Freedom." Hillary Clinton spoke about faith and works at Saddleback Church's 2007 HIV/AIDS Summit. Barack Obama's website lists a phone number voters can call to pray for him and his family.

The Golden Compass provides a new way to think and talk candidly about the church.

How often do non-Christian friends ask you to discuss your beliefs? How often does someone say to you, “My problem with the Christian church is … ”? A new movie just might spark those conversations. But some Christians will never see it.

That’s because The Golden Compass attracted controversy months before it opened on December 7. In October, the Catholic League called for a boycott of the film. An e-mail warning Christians to stay away from the movie circulated so widely, the mailing has become one of the top searches on the rumor-debunking website Snopes. A November news release from MOVIEGUIDE, a publication of the Christian Film & Television Commission, compared The Golden Compass to pro-Hitler Nazi films and stated, “If you are looking for a savior, you need look no further than Jesus Christ. If you are looking for bondage, go see The Golden Compass.”

Why do so many young people leave the church?

At 17, I stopped attending church. I’d had doubts about Christianity for a few years, but I didn’t feel safe asking questions at my church. I figured I’d face condemnation for my “lack of faith.” In my 20s, whenever I found the rare Christian who’d converse with me, he or she seemed ill-prepared to offer a basic definition of Christian faith, much less a defense of it. Worse, some Christians dismissed my questions with a condescending, “I’ll pray for you.” For nearly a decade, I remained disconnected from the church.

So I wasn’t surprised when a recent study by LifeWay Research—an organization affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention—found 70 percent of respondents had stopped attending church by age 23. Of those “dropouts” (as the survey called them), 58 percent noted at least one church- or pastor-related reason for leaving. The most frequently cited reasons were "church members seemed judgmental or hypocritical" and "I didn’t feel connected to the people in my church." Additionally, 52 percent said "religious, ethical, or political beliefs" contributed to their departure.

Maybe it’s OK for me to enjoy this controversial holiday.

I love Halloween. It’s long been my absolute favorite holiday.

I know, my favorite should be Christmas or Easter, when we celebrate Jesus and our salvation. Or even Thanksgiving, when we're grateful for all God's gifts to us. Yet I choose Halloween, the "Devil's holiday."

My love of Halloween began with sweet childhood experiences. Every year, I wore a Mom-made costume. As a toddler, I was a pink bunny in footed pajamas. Mom sewed fabric ears and used a wire hanger to make them stand up. She used her eyeliner to draw whiskers on my face. My brother, Mike, was a hobo (as were half the kids in our neighborhood). Mom used petroleum jelly to stick coffee grinds to Mike's face, creating a stubbly “beard” on his eight-year-old chin. I still smile when I look at the picture of us, me proudly showing off my bunny suit, Mike scowling about the strong coffee smell.

Will dying my hair affect future generations' self-image?

I'm a low-maintenance gal. Most days, my makeup consists of a smear of ChapStick®. I get a $12 haircut two or three times a year. My minimalist style is partly rebelliousness, having heard my mom, a retired beautician, nag, "Comb your hair! And why don't you put on some lipstick?" throughout my teen years. But not until my stint as a fashion reporter did I go totally anti-beauty. I saw firsthand how fashion magazines shape the societal beauty standards that make girls feel inadequate. From then on, I pledged my appearance would be au naturel.

That is, until I spotted my first real gray hairs.

To be healthy as a body, we need to start making The Other feel like The Every.

Several years ago, my friend LaTonya invited me to a gospel concert at her church, a predominantly African American congregation. Admittedly my first thought was, Will I be the only person there who isn’t black? Before I could voice my concern, LaTonya told me she’d invited several mutual friends, people I knew were of various ethnicities. Still, I was rather fixated on how out of place I was going to feel.

No single opinion defines all Christians.

Imagine this: You walk into church and find your good friend “Linda” in tears. Linda, an active member of your church for more than a decade, confides she’s in the United States illegally and is facing imminent deportation. What do you do?

As part of a campaign called the New Sanctuary Movement, churches in 20 cities are publicly offering protection to undocumented immigrants facing deportation. These churches know their actions are illegal, but they say they’re taking this stance to draw attention to unjust immigration laws and the plight of affected families. Their website reads, “When we see families in need or danger, we are called by our faith to respond.” In a USA Today story published earlier this month, a former pastor who supports the movement says, “This is what we’re called to do by our Christian principles.”

These statements—being “called by our faith” and moved by “Christian principles”—make me wonder: Are these activists claiming their actions are the Christian thing to do? Imagine Linda again. Is your faith less real if you don’t hide Linda in your church? Must you, because of your Christian faith, come to the same conclusion as the New Sanctuary Movement supporters?

Trying to make sense of the environmental debate

Feel a bit warmer lately? Scientists worldwide say planet Earth is getting pretty hot due to global warming. But while there’s widespread conviction that global warming is real, there's heated debate over how to solve the problem—most noticeably among Christian leaders. Earlier this month, several of them testified before the U.S. Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works, expressing deeply divided thoughts on the issue.

Over the past year, two groups of feuding evangelicals have loudly proclaimed their opinions about global warming. Both groups held press conferences, made public statements, and sent letters to top government officials. Their battle has drawn extensive news coverage, including in a PBS special report, "Is God Green?" Further, an evangelical leader from one camp drew accusations of defaming PBS journalist Bill Moyers. Whew—it’s getting pretty hot, all right!

Holly Vicente Robaina has worked as a writer, editor, and graphic designer for newspapers, magazines, books, and websites over the past dozen years. She's been writing for Christian publications since 2002 and served on the staffs of Campus Life and Today's Christian Woman magazines. Currently she freelances for several Christian publications and is a TCW regular contributor. Holly has received numerous writing awards from publications and organizations including the California Newspaper Publishers Association and the Evangelical Press Association.Married for seven years, Holly and her husband, Ricardo, live on the Southern California coast. Holly enjoys painting, cooking, taking Jazzercise and hip-hop classes, collecting state quarters and ethnic folk art, and serving as a youth leader at her church. On her personal blog, h-n-t.blogspot.com, Holly enjoys discussing politics and social issues that affect the church.