What Jesus Did -- and Still Does
Trying to understand and emulate our mysterious Lord
The church I attended as a brand-new Christian once had a picnic at an elder’s sprawling farm. We engaged in all the usual activities: paintball, games involving eggs on spoons or legs tied together, small children getting overexcited, and people telling jokes about their spouses.
When we were all sufficiently hot and dirty, the men got together and grilled, while the women set out buns and bowls of potato salad. After the meal, the elders and deacons and their wives collected in the basement rec room for their regular meeting.
I was given the job of folding up the tables and chairs and carrying them down to the basement. Coming and going, I inadvertently eavesdropped on the meeting, where a discussion was underway about a member who struggled with alcoholism.
The man had three children and a wife whose health problems prevented her from working. Whenever this man went off the wagon, as he recently had, he either showed up drunk at work or else got out-of-control angry at his boss and coworkers. Either way, he’d lose his job, and whenever this happened, the church ended up paying his family’s rent for months at a time, counseling him back into AA, and pulling every string they could to get him another job.
Apparently, this cycle had been going on for years, and the church leaders were discussing whether they ought to keep rescuing this man. Some of the group argued that doing so was simply enabling him by providing a safety net for his next collapse.
“If we didn’t fix everything for him,” one woman suggested, “then he’d have to fix it himself, and that might motivate him to stay with AA.”
Others in the group talked about the man’s family. “They’re the widows and orphans of the Bible,” an older man reminded everyone fiercely. “We need to do whatever it takes to defend their interests.”
The church, I knew, had financial difficulties of its own, and I was impressed that no one brought these into the discussion—at least not while I was trundling the tables and chairs past them. This must be what it means to be the church, I thought, my first of many such reflections in the years to come. I listened closely as the discussion continued.
“What would Jesus do?” the fierce man demanded. Everyone fell silent, nodding. He would take care of the widow and orphans, of course, I thought. He would forgive the man’s failure to stay sober, seventy times seven.
Then, a younger man with a beard repeated the other man’s question with slightly different intonation.
“But what would Jesus do?” he asked them. He went on to talk about other things Jesus had and hadn’t done in his time on Earth besides help people in trouble.
“Jesus didn’t heal everyone who came to him, and he reminded his disciples that the poor would always be with them,” this young elder pointed out. “He rendered unto Caesar Caesar’s own. Once, he told a paralyzed guy not just to walk, but to pick up his mat and walk.
“Jesus was pretty hard to predict,” the man summed up.
I, meanwhile, was thinking about a story I’d recently read in one of the gospels in which a Canaanite woman cries out to Jesus, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly” (Matthew 15:22). Jesus, Matthew tells us, remains silent. When the woman persists, he tells her that he “was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel” and that “it is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs” (Matthew 15:24, 26). He relents only when the woman, with the gutsiness of desperation, counters, “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table” (Matthew 15:27).
Jesus was such a mystery. His explanation notwithstanding, his initial unwillingness to help the woman seems so cold in comparison to the universal message of hope he offers elsewhere in the gospels. Nevertheless, I heard his reluctance to help her—a holy sort of reluctance—in the earnest voices from my church calling for an end to supporting the alcoholic.
Solving a sufferer’s problems apparently isn’t always the right thing to do, I considered. And, in the voices that called for the church continuing to support the man, I heard Jesus’ eventual compassion for the Canaanite woman. He not only grants her request, but commends her: “Woman, you have great faith!” (Matthew 15:28).
No wonder Jesus called the church his body, I thought. The metaphor had previously perplexed me. Jesus is not a single, simple answer to the intricacies of daily living. He’s not a straightforward rule for behavior, or even a collection of such rules, that one can just tack onto any dilemma and be done with it. Rather, he’s the revelation of human holiness in all its complexity, in all its magnificence.
People often offer “What would Jesus do?” as a clear answer to any question—as an end to discussion, it always seems to me—rather than as an invitation to really consider the intricacies of God’s love. We shouldn’t ask, “What would Jesus do?” but rather, “What did Jesus do?”
Jesus didn’t simply end human sin and suffering—although he could have, and certainly we all wish that he had. Rather, he came to us in person, joining us in our suffering, and offering us an entirely human but also entirely holy way of loving one another. As the church, we give voice to that love, even when—especially when—we disagree, as long as we’re united in the goal of searching out God’s will.
Posted at 10:11 AM on September 10, 2008.
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What an awesome piece of wisdom! I am truly touched by this piece and am going to save it for future reference...may God bless you as you seek to touch our world with His love, and an immense sense of wisdom that He has seen fit to give you, for our benefit and His glory...Amen.
Posted by: Linda on September 10, 2008
Thanks for this Article, how i which that all christians are oppurtune to read this. The message of our Lord Jesus Christ is mainly focuses on love and God Himself is love, so i believe every christian should be an epitope of love if we really want to daily present Jesus the people and this should be unconditional.
Thanks
Eddy Joe
Nigeria
Posted by: Eddy Joseph on September 11, 2008
I loved what you said about "What Would Jesus Do?" I have felt that same way, that Jesus was very unpredictable, and I sometimes felt as if the question was asked in a presumptuous way, as if it immediately made clear an answer. As I get to know Jesus, more and more, one of the things that draws me to Him is that He wasn't predictable. He didn't live or think inside the box of conventionality.
Knowing where to draw the line between helping and enabling can be a difficult decision. What did the church decide to do in the end?
Posted by: Dar on September 11, 2008
Wonderful, wonderful article that I'll be sharing with friends and family. Thank you for sharing this with us and may God bless you and yours. He has indeed given you a great gift to share.
Posted by: Bet on September 11, 2008
C'mon Patty - what did the church do?
Posted by: Jim S on September 11, 2008
For those of you who want to know what the church decided to do in the end:
At that time, which was over a decade ago, they decided to keep on helping the man and his family. Nowadays, I no longer attend the church but occasionally run into current members--as well as the man in question, who still attends that church and still struggles. His wife has died and his kids are now no longer at home. I get the impression that the church, which nowadays has new leadership and many new members, is still helping the man out.
Posted by: patty kirk on September 12, 2008
This was a wonderful subject to write on. So often we do ask the WWJD question almost pompously, trying to get our own point across. It isn't always cut and dried, sometimes much prayer and soul searching is needed to get the answer to WWJD. There are so many people in need, and the church can not always help everyone financially. It isn't easy for the Board to decide who, what, when, and where financial aid is needed. I think this piece is also a wake up call for all of us to be much in prayer for those who do make the decisons in our churches and to support them after the decision has been made. A good board will not always share why the answer is "no", to protect the reputation of the individual involved.
Posted by: mel on September 12, 2008
Remember, Patty wasn't on the board. She just got to hear part of the discussion as she went in and out. She may not know what they decided--not that it's any of our business!
The toughest part of "tough love" is the "tough" part. My husband and I are often called on to help our grown children and their families and the discussion usually involves "What is best for them, long term." We'd love to have enough money to just set them up for life, but we don't, and that wouldn't be what's best for them, either. If they never learn to take care of themselves, who's going to take care of them when we can't? We won't be around forever.
Sometimes saying "no" is the right thing to do, no matter how hard it is or if someone else will suffer.
Posted by: Mary Brown on September 12, 2008
After Years of "helping out financially", the Church must realize that "this ain't working. What the drinker needs is professional help for his alcoholism, accountability for his actions (deep-rooted I'd say..emotional pain there somewhere) and INTERVENTION.
Then and only then, should the Church take up the slack to assist while the Dad is receiving help for his wounded soul.
Wake up Church.
Posted by: Kally F on September 13, 2008
great article, and i trust it will continue to provoke great thot and discussion. for me, the "answer", is always asking, "LOrd, what do you want me (or us) to do?" i have found His answer as has been noted, very unpredictable. He knows all the ins and outs of the situation, and what we may 'think" is the answer, may fly in the face of what He actually prompts us to do. praying for us all to look to Him in and thru all things.
Posted by: bonnie on September 13, 2008
Dear Patty,
What a beautiful description of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ at work in HIS BODY, the CHURCH! I loved reading your insight and wisdom. The depth of your dividing the WORD was awesome! Thank you for casting light on one more facet of the magnificent jewel our sweet Jesus IS! I will share this with family and frieds and look forward to more from you. Thank You my sister, Love in the Lord, Victoria
Posted by: Victoria Jardine-Naranjo on September 14, 2008
Dear Patty,
What a beautiful description of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ at work in HIS BODY, the CHURCH! I loved reading your insight and wisdom. The depth of your dividing the WORD was awesome! Thank you for casting light on one more facet of the magnificent jewel our sweet Jesus IS! I will share this with family and frieds and look forward to more from you. Thank You my sister, Love in the Lord, Victoria
Posted by: Victoria Jardine-Naranjo on September 14, 2008
Women is the part of our society she is mother sister wife in every kind relation she is full of love and politeness. So we should always help her to move our society.
albert
Outsourcing Solution in BPO
Posted by: albert on September 15, 2008
Patti, really insightful post. As a pastor's wife I've seen the hidden side of "body life" that do indeed bear the aroma of Christ. In fact, the beauty of your experience is the fact that this was a private, "closet", conversation--it wouldn't make the local paper or bring attention to itself. That, Jesus says in many delightful ways, is a mark of the Kingdom--the treasure hidden in the field, the pinch of yeast hidden in the dough. And it makes all the difference. Robbie
Posted by: Robbie F Castleman on September 16, 2008
This is such a touchy subject and a very personal one for me. My husband is a recovering addict and we came to the church and began a relationship with Jesus at a very lowpoint. It took a couple years for him to finally beat the addiction, but our church tried to help in various ways along the way one of those ways was providing childcare for me to go to AlAnon regularly. My husband had a relapse 8 years later during a very difficult time in our family. The church didn't know what to do. The impression I was left with was that they would help me and the kids if he were out of the picture. He has since been to treatment and attends regular meetings and our family is better than ever, all of us having learned more intimately what grace really means.
What bothers me is the amount of time in many circles that is spent discussing this particular "sin" as if it's worse than others. What about the woman at church who gossips and creates factions all under the guise of sharing prayer concerns or the elder who is greedy, but no one says anything because he gives his 10% to the church or the man who struggles with anger and lashes out verbally whenever he's uncomfortable. All sins lead to death - one person's sins don't make them more dead than someone else's. My pride (and countless other sins) required just as much of Jesus' blood as did any of my husband's. Sometimes no is the answer, but most of the time it's much more complicated than that.
Posted by: Kristie on September 16, 2008
Kristie,
Thanks for sharing your family's amazing success story. I'm sorry for your bad experience with your church after your husband's relapse, but I'm glad there was a happy ending after all. To God be the glory!
I want to explain that I in no way meant to dwell on alcoholism as a sin worse than any other—or, indeed, as a sin at all—and I don't think the church in question did, either. The church leadership had been approached for support and was trying to figure out whether they should give it.
Judging from how things at that church worked, if a gossip or a rage-aholic had come to them with the need and desire for help, they would have responded in the same way: Namely, they would have discussed the matter amongst them, with some inclined to be supportive and others more practical and realistic.
In point of fact, though, neither gossips nor rage-aholics—nor those prone to plain old self-centered meanness, like me—are likely to present themselves to the church in their need, although God knows they (we) should.
In any case, my goal in the post was not to discuss anything to do with alcoholism, but rather to take a close look at the often pat comment, posing as a question, "What would Jesus do?"and to see what it might reveal about the nature of Jesus' body, the church. My experiences at the church I describe were merely a vehicle for that goal.
Bless you for writing!
patty
Posted by: patty kirk on September 16, 2008
Excellent, eye opening, mind provoking post. Keep it up
Posted by: Beatrice on September 22, 2008
Awesome story. It very well represents both sides of the dilemma we often face: help someone blindly or not help for whatever reason....to help them help themselves...we are not the answer...to get them to rely on God and not on His helpers...etc.
We must be careful to stay in His will so we will hear His voice telling us what or what not to do.
Posted by: Kingskid15 on September 23, 2008
This is definitely God inspired! A dilema we face as practical living christians. The sum of it is living and sharing God's love, but with wisdom! God bless you
Posted by: Kate Mwesigwa on October 10, 2008
First of all, Jesus never ever called our church(es) his body; it's the other way around. Actually, the difference was great and divinely designed to end human sin and suffering. One measure of this difference is Christianity's complete alienation from the great terms and seal of the "new covenant" (Jer. 31: 31-34; Matt. 26: 26-29) right on the heels of Judaism. The worst enemies of the cross of Christ today are none other than Christians ourselves! More than "initial unwillingness" to help the Canaanite woman, Jesus' attention seems to have been preoccupied with his Jewish disciples' much more serious and detestable discrimination against the poor Gentile woman. Check it out!
Posted by: Ephrem Hagos on October 11, 2008
Ephrem,
I did check it out, and I stand corrected. Jesus never called the church his body. It was Paul in 1 Corinthians 12. I think I was conflating Paul's teaching there with Jesus' "I'm the vine, and you're the branches" in John 15. Forgive me.
patty kirk
Posted by: patty kirk on October 15, 2008