I thought this was absolutely beautiful. I cried and prayed after I read it. I thanked God for restoring the relationship between my dad and me, and then I called him. Thank you so much for sharing what was on your heart.

Dear Nancy,
Thank you for your story and insight on this crippling emotional disease. I am starting a women's group this Fall in my church about such issues. I'm calling the sessions ' An Exercise in Faith ' And talk about divine intervention I
had to start pool classes at rehab and the first day there met a lady who use to teach aerobics. She is going to teach the group for free!
Nancy, because I have lived some of this myself I will be sharing this story and we
will be praying for you so please ask the Lord to bless this group.
Your Sister in Christ
Linda

Dear Nancy,
Your blog sounds as if I could have written it. I used to long for my Dad to say, "I love you" at least once. I ate because I liked the taste of food. I ate because it was time to eat. I ate because I was feeling unloved and unlovable. Maybe after I was a little older I ate because I wanted to be "invisible" to guys. I didn't feel worthy of having a male friend. Maybe in a way I was punishing myself. I am discovering how much my Heavenly Father loves me and adores me. I have health issues now and need to lose about 100 pounds. As God enables me, I will! Thanks, Nancy! Praying for you and your daughter. With God all things are possible!

My father left my mother when I was nine and I haven't felt secure since. Then, my husband left me for another woman when our kids were small and it was a huge blow to my self esteem. The Lord healed my wounded soul but the world is quick to remind us that we can be disposable if we're not "good enough".

In my head, I'm both. When I'm just living my life and staying busy, I don't think about my weight - until it's time to go shopping or I catch a glimpse of myself in a shop window. I need a dress right now. I went shopping in one store and had to leave because their sizes are too small. I didn't let it get to me, but I was reminded that I have to shop in the special stores.

I am blessed that my current husband loves me and thinks I'm beautiful and sexy regardless of what the scale says. I am torn between accepting myself the way I am and hating the weight that I'm at. My husband's love and acceptance have meant so much. People ask me if I've lost weight. I think I'm just content in my husband's love and it shows. I know I need to lose weight. I will, but I'm glad my worth and value are no longer dependent on my size.

I weighed 120 until I had to take medicine for mental health issues. Now I weigh 180 and I hate myself. Some days every bite I take is an I hate you bite. Looking in the mirror is a way I torture the person I hate.

I am a "normal" size and have never had food or weight issues. I wonder if you've tried something called "lotion therapy"? After your shower or bath, take the time to massage lotion into your skin and luxuriate in the touch, pleasure, and marvel of your body. Try to make no judgments about it, just that it feels good to pamper yourself in this way. This may be difficult at first, but with practice, you may find that you are able to accept your body as it is.

I used to worry about cellulite (even slender women have this). At my age, I no longer worry about it. My body, RIGHT NOW, is better than it EVER will look in the future. I see my daughter, who is 9, already concerned about her "fat" thighs. She does not have fat thighs. She also wears an over-sized t-shirt to cover her swimsuit instead of being content to wear a modest swimsuit and swim unself-consciously. I do not know where she gets these ideas.

This body I travel around in is marvelous. I can ride bikes with my kids, I can run races, and do yoga. It allows me to get down on my knees and pray. If I have a "Pinto" appearance in a "Porsche" world, well, it's still the skill of the driver that sets it apart from all the other cars on the road.

My prayers are with you as you learn to accept the body you were blessed with. You have learned special skills and talents that will enable you to help others on their journeys through this life.

I can totally rellate to Nancy's story. That is my life. I have been the fat kid all my life though I have dieted since I was eight. I was too fat to be asked to the prom, I didn't date until college when I got anorexia. I have been 98 pounds and 180 pounds and I am not even 5 feet tall. Some days I pray for the anorexia to kick in which I know is a terrible prayer. I can't look at myself in the mirror because I hate what I see. I pray that God will help me to come to peace with the body I have. I exercise regularly and I eat healthy for the most part but there are many ocassions where there is amazing food and I partake. Oh well. Thanks for listening. Nancy I will think about what you have said, I know in my head that God loves me despite my dress size, but I need to learn to love myself

I always feel so unworthy... I feel that sometimes I don't have any friends or am excluded from things because of my weight... very sad ..., I know Jesus is on the throne.. but it still hurts

My body size, (40lbs overweight), bothered no one but me. I was very self-consciencious and I wore clothes that looked good on me, not necessarily those that were in style. Stylish clothes did not look so stylish on my overweight body. But God came to my rescue. He truly is concerned about our weight, because it also affects our health. 3John verse 2 says, "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in HEALTH, even as thy soul prospereth".
I first asked God to forgive me for not taking care of the body he gave me. I then asked him to take away the desire for the foods that were not good for my health and give me a taste for those foods that were healthy. God did just that and I've lost 20lbs. so far. I know that God is going to help me lose the remaining 20lbs. I just want to encourage those that want to lose weight that it is indeed possible with the help of God! Please be encouraged to seek God for help, he will come through for you if you believe.
God bless you,
Beverly

I got married when I was in my early 20s, and after that my weight increased. I used food as comfort when my husband wasn't there for me (which was quite often).

Soon after, I developed a condition that makes it really difficult to lose the weight. He looked at me differently and would comment on my weight indirectly but it still hurt and tried to begin relationships with other women.

My self esteem plummeted and I truly became a doormat. I tried to mask my unhappiness by putting on a smiling face, but others could see through the mask and I was miserable. My activities changed and I didn't want to be photographed. It was a wretched time.

Then, God saved and rescued me. I am no longer married to him. Today, I am with my first boyfriend after the divorce for over a year now. He loves and accepts me as I am. He met me as a plus size woman and doesn't press me to change. He sees me as a beautiful woman.

I still struggle with my weight daily and I know I need to loose some weight to improve my health and well being. I want to live my life fully where some of the extra weight makes me feel limited. With God, I know there is nothing that I can't do if I push fear aside.

I have to constantly tell myself that God loves everything about me...yes...every lump, roll, and dimple that I have. He said that I am "wonderfully" and "fearfully" made! I love that he looks at my heart and not at my physical appearance.

Be blessed.

I have fought the fat battle all my life. Five years ago I lost 50 lbs. and kept it off for 2 years. Then I decided to let myself start drinking and eating "bad" food. I shot up to 60+ pounds in one year.

I don't say no to food any more. But, looking in the mirror and dreading my mother's "concerned" comments, that's no fun either--nor a motivation. I am just plain tired of being deprived of food that other folks can say "yes" to!

I won't end up alone as I have Jesus; and He has me with all the extra pounds too.

I could have written your blog post: nuff said on that.

The Lord gave me a tool to help me conquer my food issues...I haven't arrived yet, but it's helping.

I like to find everyday items or situations that I can associate with spiritual concepts or prayer requests.

So...I have asked to Lord to remind me to pray for a spiritual hunger and thirst for a life completely obedient to Christ each time I experience physical hunger or thirst.

After reading your blog post, I think I'm going to extend that to everytime I feel compelled to eat.

Want to join me in this "weight loss" plan? I honestly think it will help me to say no to eating for the wrong reasons.

I too think that I am fat in my head. I'm 15 years old and certainly do not weigh 110 pounds (I'm near 155). No one has ever called me fat and meant it. My doctor and my friends insist that I am not fat, but sometimes I tell myself that I am. Somewhere inside I know that I am not, too. Sure, my thighs may be thicker and my hips a little wider. But I know that if I'm comfortable with myself, and God is comfortable with me, everyone else will be too. Thank you for further reminding us that we only need to care about what God thinks - and he doesn't mind what we look like!

Thank you Nancy for this article, I feel the same, fat or not as lean as I would like to be. But since exercising at the "Y' I have gained muscle and being the bone structure that I am I weight more than I should.. But since muscle weights more than fat, I content myself with this fact. But at times I know that I can get obsessed with my weight and weight myself too often.. But hopefully the world see the Holy Spirit in me rather than the flesh, of the earthy body.

I have no peace with my weight issues. I wish I could understand it better so that maybe I could conquer it, but it pretty much is always there....always in my head, on my mind, affecting what I do (or rather what I don't do!), where I go (or rather where I don't go!), it is who I am and that is sad to say, but the truth. I avoid pictures because I hate to see what I look like and I avoid mirrors as well. If I am out in public and catch a glimpse of myself, I lose all confidence and begin tripping over my words and feel I am being laughed at because of my weight. I have gone years and years avoiding pictures to the point that I have even stated to my children that it is almost that I don't exist....vacations, no mom, beach visits, no mom, theme park trips, no mom, no mom anywhere in pictures except those few that were unavoidable that always make me cringe....but not being a part of the pictures makes me sad too. I don't do things I love to do because of my weight and I am wasting years and years that I could be doing things with my children...time that is lost and I can never get back. I most times hate the way I look and don't like myself much. I just wish I could get to a weight that would make me feel normal....but in looking back in old photos, I now see that I was at a normal weight in the past and still thought I was huge so I don't even know if there is a normal weight that I would recognize at that time. I am the largest I have ever been right now and I know that my daughter is suffering from all the things I avoid doing...she wants to go to the beach, but I CAN'T! I can't do it! I want to....but I can't!!!

Just as the auther said, I feel as though there are so many other things more important, but this is my reality and I HATE it!

thanks for the article. i know it hits home with most of us. i found His freedom thru a free course on the internet at www.settingcaptivesfree.com called the Lord's table. it focuses on feeding and nourishing our selves with His word, His love. knowing that few of us who struggle with weight do so thru true physical hunger but rather the spiritual, love, acceptance hunger that you are talking about, and that we all have. and that hunger is to be satisfied in our Lord alone. we all need a lot of feasting at His table, some more than others, some days and seasons more than others. thank You Lord for the soul satisfaction YOu have given me in YOur word, thru YOur Son and Holy Spirit, expecially in the act and message of YOur cross and making me YOur beloved child and in and thru YOur people as well.

I read this article, even though I am not fat by any measure -- but which woman doesn't feel flabby somewhere ...!

What struck me is that the issues surrounding weight are similar to others involving other addictions.

I took the Setting Captives Free online course for porn addiction and I recommend everyone to go to their site for food addiction. It transformed my life and so many others' too. You also can find freedom from Satan's bonds of self-loathing and unworthiness!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I recently have found hope and healing from food issues through a wonderful bible study called "The Lord's Table" (can be purchased at christianbook.com). They also have a free online study at www.settingcaptivesfree.com.

I never realized that I was in bondage to food before, and that the only way to find heart fullness and satisfaction is in Christ. My bible study partner is actually thin and has found the study to also be very helpful - just because you're not overweight doesn't mean you aren't in bondage to food.

It is important to note that this study is less about losing weight and/or following a weightloss program as it is in finding heart satisfaction in Christ. I'd highly recommend it if you have found that even though you've reached your goal weight, you still are having trouble seeing beyond it.

Keep seeking,
Candice

Nancy, what a wonderful article. I, too battle with my weight on an every day basis. I have lost 65lbs so far. I was a college basketball player but I've always been on the thick side. I remember my mom helping my sisters shop for the cute adorable clothes and she would hand me money and I would be on my own. Because of these feelings I never saw anyone wanting to date me, talk to me, and I figured I would be single for the rest of my life. Even after I had lost 65lbs I look in the mirror and fat is what I see...every pound that shouldn't be there...

I have been blessed because I found prayer and strength in prayer. I realize now that it's my soul that is beautiful. Yes I do take pride in my body but I'm not prideful and I find comfort in being who the lord wants me to be....healthy. I am healthy:)

blessings!

Is this an open blog for anyone who wants to share and support each other?

I am the Bread of Life. Such simple words...yet none of the men and women who followed Him could make any sense of it when it was being spoken to them:

Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away...."

Still they didn't understand. And Jesus repeated the lesson to his disciples for emphasis:

"I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life. I am the bread of life. Your forefathers ate the manna in the desert, yet they died. But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which a man may eat and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world."

On hearing it, many of his disciples said, "This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?"
***
I forget sometimes.

I forget that He is all we really need. I forget that He is there, arms open wide, ready to receive me when I'm at my shining best or when I'm stumbling around, lost and undone. Often I fail. The simplicity of this message gets swept aside in the complexity of human existence...when I think too fast, when I let my own thoughts and despair consume me.

Then I hunger.

And instead of reaching for the Bread of Life, I gorge myself on the wrong kinds of food and drink.

Lord, help me to be honest in my walk with You. Help me to keep finding the truth in Your Word and in my existence. Let me always remember that You are the Bread of Life...and that it sustains more than anything this life has to offer.

***
When you find out that He's all you have...you discover that He's all you need.

Until we meet again....

I could have also written that article. I just don't like what I see when I look in the mirror. Yet, after seeing friends go through chemo I realize how blessed I am to be healthy so I focus on eating healthy. I've realized that I am like an alcoholic when it comes to sweets. Once I start, it becomes like a rolling stone and I need more until I'm sick. This realization has helped me to find ways to limit how many sweets I have in my possession. I can't ever have a cake around, just a piece otherwise, I'll eat the whole cake. I exercise and start each day with the hopes of making it through the day without bingeing on sweets. Some days I make it and wake up feeling good but those days I don't, I hate myself. Neverending battle and I see so many of us have the same thing. I was also divorced because I wasn't beautiful, thin, etc 'enough' for him. My father also rejected me because I wasn't a boy so those issues I'm sure play big in this problem. I guess we just have to come to terms with food, that we don't need anywhere near as much as we consume and that for some of us we need to treat certain things like an alcoholic would. Thank you for this website. I had tears in my eyes after I read many of your comments since I"ve felt most of your anguish and am seeking answers all the time. I think just giving it up in prayer is the best thing we can do.

Wow, I thought I was so alone in thinking that I was the only miserable overweight person in this world! After having 3 kids and coming close to 40, I'm beginning to think that the fat is a permanent part of me! It does make you feel sad and not perfect, but I do know that nothing is impossible through God! I have begun to ask Him to help me every day to help me be aware of when I'm hungry and when I'm full. He WILL do this for you, but you have to submit your will to His. I tell Him I have no willpower, but I do have the power of His will. I think He delights in knowing that a child of His wants and invites Him right in the middle of everday life, not just at church.

Thank you for sharing this article. I know this issue effects many, if not all, women in today's society. Today is my twenty-nineth birthday. And although I am not at a weight I would like to be at, I am content knowing that I have good health, a saved and loving family. That I have a relationship with Jesus Christ and despite all I have done wrong or the way I look - He loves me and saved me from a destructive life. Knowing that everyday helps me rejoice because I can face any issue in life and He is with me - I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me!
And once I realize that although weight is a reality for me, but not the only reality in life - the bible says in 1 Timothy 4:8
8For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come."
I practice what is important - and that is His word.
It's been posted before, God looks at the heart. And His word says it. Man looks at the outside, but God looks at the heart.
Keep our hearts right before God, and our outlook on others, and especially how we see ourselves will change too.
Finally, a familiar scripture...
Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matt. 6:33
God bless you all

My heart ached as I read your blog Nancy. I, too, have always struggled with my weight. There are days when I manage to convince myself that I'm "okay" and yet there are days when I feel so alone, hurt and unworthy. I'm a single mom of two sons. I have been by myself for over 11 yrs after my husband left me. The day he left he said that I would never find another man to love me. With each passing year it seemed that those last words to me were so true. I have finally found a man who seems to love me for me, but those haunting words from my ex-husband still linger and I wonder "does this man really love me? Or is he just here for a little while?" I often hear people say words are just words and they don't hurt. But I truly don't think so. Words are very powerful (whether positive or negative) and they do make an impact. When I was a little (fat) girl, my dad was around; however, he never really acknowledged me. I was just there. So I don't know what is worse.... a dad that physically left you or a dad that is physically there yet but abandoned you emotionally. I suppose that is why I feel I am always seeking some sort of acceptance and love from a male. Then after I cry and find myself in a deep emotional hole, I will remind myself that God loves me. God will NEVER leave me and He doesn't care if I am fat or thin. That is the moment when I will find comfort in Him.
Be blessed

I'm 19 and I struggle with my weight. Actually I wouldn't say I struggle as much as it's there as an ever pressing issue in my mind. I'm a self confessed emotional eater. It started when I was a young kid when alot of things were going terribly wrong in my family, I found comfort and solace in food, the only thing i could really control, what, where and how much I ate. Now over the years I've steadily gotten bigger, I'm now at a pretty steady plateu of 140kg. It's terrible. There are days when I hate myself, my behaviour and the way I look. I only like having a photo taken of my face, it's the only thing i'm comfortable recording. I know that God loves me exactly the way I am but I am also aware that I am being a poor steward of the body he intrusted to me. My family and friends are worried about me. It's a depressing reality. I have no "man" in my life because I am unhappy with how I am and I don't want a man to be happy with me, to love me the way I am. I can't figure out if that's a bad thing to think. It's a terrible reality.

I think we should all bow our heads rightr now and pray for each other:
Father God,we need you, we need lots of you. The enemy has lied to us through others, through our thoughts, through our mirrors, through the world's image of a perfect body. He has fooled us into thinking our worth is in all those thoughts. Break the power of those thoughts Lord. Help us to yield to your thoughts of us each and every moment. Come Lord. We need you. In Jesus Name we pray..Amen and Amen.

I just had my third little girl on June 6. I gained more weight with her then I did with my other two girls. Before I had gotten pregnant with her. I had lost over 30 pounds on Weight Watchers. I felt great - I was in God's word almost everyday and working out and eating correctly. I felt great about how I looked and how I felt. My life was great and my marriage was great. Not that it isn't anymore!! Now I'm just the opposite - I am not in God's word and I just started Weight Watchers again today. My husband tells me that I look great for just having a baby. I think he is just saying that to hopefully make me feel better. I feel like I'm never going to get there again. We moved from our home state to a state where we know no-one. We did find a small church but most of the congregation is older folks.

I've been overweight most of my life. I look around and see these moms that are pretty and look great and I feel I'm the fat stay at home mom with three kids that are so adorable and she looks horrible. How do I get out of this?

I had a beautiful lady state that "some of us are Saint Bernards, some of us are Chihauhaus, some of us are in between"
At that time, I started looking at my overweight body in a different light. My mission now is to start the day and see who I can share the Word of God with or make their day better. I have not heard of any size requirements in the Bible but I know my attitude makes the difference whether I am miserable or have a great day in service to my Lord.

I have been overweight all of my life. Even as a child. I too felt the pain and embarrassment of the Pretty Plus shopping.
I have lost weight all my life, can you say Yo-Yo? I was on the right track to losing weight after my third child was born, and then I decided to quit smoking(YAY for me) that was three years ago and I have gained over 80 lbs. I hate myself.
My husband doesn't come right out and say anything, he just doesn't notice me. He doesn't touch me, doesn't squire me, just doesn't!!!! And guess what I do? I eat to make it feel better.
He recently moved us to his hometown and I know no one. His family does not include us in any of their activities. And I wonder is it because of how I look? It depresses me and then guess what I do? I eat to make it feel better.
I am trying not to let my body issues influence how my children are raised and I pray that they are healthy and make better choices than I have. I want to be normal......but what is normal?
I know that God is on His throne and loves me, but my heart literally hurts each time I look at myself.
I love to do things, but am becoming so self conscious that I won't go swimming or anything because no one should have to look at a body like mine.
So, thanks for sharing your pain, at least I know that I am not alone in mine.

I am relieved to find so many people who struggle with food. I can empathize with being the fat child, feeling invisible to my family and other kids around me. When I was about 16, I became obsessed with food. I dieted, I binged, and eventually developed several eating disorders that I still bounce back and forth from today. Just last week I admitted this to my friends and a very special woman at my church. I am 23 years old, 5 foot 6 and 115 pounds. People call me bean pole and sometimes express concern, and though I know the numbers on the scale are unhealthy, fat is something that I fear will be forever in my head (and eyes).

My name is Dana and I’m a journalist for FIRST magazine. I write a page called “body confidence” and am working on an article about body snarking and how women don’t let people’s negative comments about their weight affect their confidence. Instead, they bounce back with a witty, smart comeback proving that what the other person just said, didn’t bother them at all.

I was reading your blog and you seemed to have the wit and confidence we’re looking for and was curious to know if you’d be interested in participating in the article? i think you would be very inspirational to our readers. If you could let me know, i’d greatly appreciate it!Thanks and looking forward to hearing from you!

Best,

Dana
dsquilla@bauerpublishing.com

Reading all of these posts has broken my heart, both in realization of my own downfalls and in empathy for you all. I, too, have struggled with my weight my whole life. Being very tall my whole life, I have also suffered the consequence that accompanies that. I always seemed to weigh more than the other girls my age. Who were, by the way, cute and little and of normal height. I found myself becoming more and more self-conscious about my size, especially in my middle school years. I was never "fat" but I have always carried around a substantial Buddha Belly, as I believe its nicknamed. Couple that with a slack jaw from an overbite and you've got one weird freak (as I often considered myself). All throughout junior high and high school, all I wanted was to shrink three or four inches so I could just blend into the crowd and maybe, just maybe, someone would notice me for being who I was, and not for being so tall. I found myself seeking a boyfriend so badly because I was convinced that that was the only way I could become justified in myself. I put so much emphasis on it. I thought, "if I could just get some boy to like me, then maybe I'm not such a freak after all." I was fortunate enough to find a great guy, my junior year of high school, and our relationship lasted four years. He always told me I was beautiful, and when we were together, I believed him. But that old fear of rejection and secret shameful self-loathing was always there, bubbling under the surface, ready to creep its way back into my mind in moments of weakness. When I was in college, while still dating that guy (though our relationship was dwindling down to being more like occasional friends), my low self-confidence plummeted even further once I noticed the amazing beauties known as Sorority Girls. Blond, beautiful, normal height, cute clothes, money falling out of their pockets...how I so wanted to be them. Plus, I had always secretly wanted to meet my Future Husband in college. For no more reason that to say "Oh, we met in college..." My confidence would waver back in forth between low and shaky, semi-wavering-steadiness on good days. It didn't help that on two different occasions over the years, two guys I had major crushes on turned me down when I had worked up enough nerve to confess my hearts to them. One of them, before I'd had the nerve to tell him, started dating my roommate. Who was, by the way, small, cute, blond, ambitious, and absolutely adorable. Everything I felt I wasn't. I was the most depressed I had ever been that year.

College came and went, as did my confidence. But in the years that have passed, God has blessed me in amazing ways. Primarily by bringing strong, independent, single, older, Godly women into my life who have shown me boldy that they are not insufficient in any way because they are single. Contrarily, they are made even stronger as a result, because they have been able to fall even more in love with their Groom, who will never forsake them, never talk down to them or call them fat/freaky/ugly, and calls us all to praise Him with all he has blessed us with.

I met the most wonderful man six months ago, who thinks I am the most beautiful woman in the world, and can't believe that I am with him. Tells me every single day how much he loves me, appreciates me, values me, and in his words, is "furiously attracted to me." It has been such a learning experience. I have spent my entire life internalizing everything that ever went wrong in my life. Didn't get that job? Didn't get that cute guy? Failed that test? Must all be because you're ugly. Everyone is just nice to you because they don't want to hurt your feelings. What they're really thinking is, "Ugh, she's so ugly. Poor girl." But the more time I spend with my Lord, the more I am letting myself shed this thick skin I've grown. And thanks also to this wonderful, amazing, Godly man that the Lord has blessed me with, I am feeling ever more beautiful with each day.

I have also just finished one of the most important books of my life. It's called "Captivating," by Jon and Stasi Eldredge. It helps you discover your inner hurt little girl and walks you through how God longs for you the way you long for love. I HIGHLY recommend it. It has been invaluable to me!

I pray that you all can find God's peace and grace in your difficult times. It is a constant growing process, one fraught with highs and lows, but rest in the knowledge that He loves you, warts and all!