What a great post. I often fall into that trap, judging other believers for being so judgmental...not pretty! As someone who's new enough to faith to still feel more like a "secular person that follows Jesus" than a "Christian," I feel like God is calling me to straddle these two worlds with grace. Some days that goes better than others :)

I "Cringe" when someone such as Phelp's does something that I feel besmirches the Church.
There are those I work with who have a very antagonistic attitude towards the Church due to it's percieved attitude towards Gays. When something such as this comes to the forefront, I try to point out that neither Phelps nor I "speak for the Church", in any official sense. Further that while I do not accept their Gay lifestyle, l I do accept them as close friends. That while their actions displease God, some of mine do as well, we ALL fall short.
For the most part, they accept and appreciate my stance. I do not place myself on a pedistal nor do I let others use errant Christians as an excuse to shun the Church.

Thanks Holly. Your article really hit home. We often forget that the Word of God says "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus." (Rom 8:1) We should be in the business of restoration in the spirit of love (Gal 6:1). Too often we forget that we are all sinners and all have much to learn. Thanks for the reminder.

I Have sent several messages to you, Which don’t the knowledge of God i am trying to explain, As soon as I come over there I will you about God and mysteries of bible . I am abundant knowledge about our God .I want to reveal the truths and closed secrets of God to you .Why you are showing DEAREYER? I am interested to come and reveal the closed secrets of Bible which you do not know .I am ready to come and meet your organization to discus about the Bible with my own expenses. Please invite me to meet you, If you have any interest of God .Before this I have sent my information many times and so far we have not received any invitations from you I am ready to come at any moment our Gods ministry my great desire is to ATTEND ur CONFERENCES and meetings. If you provide me the journey [Please send me an invitation letter. Surely I will attend to your Gospel service, conferences & meetings.
I hope very much by the grace of God.

Ooh, touché. I feel a little sting reading the last part, because I definitely tend to think, "those Christian jerks" rather than "am I like that in any--even the smallest--way? Do I have a mentality with the same roots?" That's a good challenge, especially when I'm judging what I perceive to be judgmental behavior...

Hey there, I really like what you have written. I have been a Christian for a few years and boy God is really doing some work in me;which is awesome must I add. I really like it that you put about what are our thoughts and what are our actions?... Are we really behaving how we should?
Lately God has been showing me a few truths about people that I know who are close to me and also making me see that we as Christians have a lot to answer for in the world having distorted views on what Christianity's is. And it all comes down to our behavior. I think that often we forget that God is seeing everything and what we say and do can have major impacts and consequences with our eternity.
Sometimes when I am sharing with non Christian people and they go "oh you are just another one of those hyper critics going around preaching"... I can't help feel for them because half the time we Christians are not waying up the truth with our actions. Thank goodness Jesus did die on the cross to forgive us to cleanse us to set us free from our disgusting behaviors.

In response to Mistake #2:

Some sins ARE worse than others. The bible clearly teaches that unbelievers will be judged according to their sins. There will be differing degrees of suffering in hell - depending on the sin. Just as believers rewards will be determined by how their works are judged by Him.

As well, John 19:11 (NASB): " Jesus answered, "You would have no authority over Me, unless it had been given you from above; for this reason he who delivered Me to you has the GREATER sin."

SIN is Sin - but some sins are worse than others in that they offend God more than others. For example, a lustful thought is sin - but the physical act of adultery is a worse sin because it involves not only the thought but the action. Therefore, physical adultery IS a worse sin than solely lusting in the heart.

There are many who believe things simply because someone says it in a reputable magazine. To all: The Holy Spirit reveals truth - and we must take a step of faith and search the scriptures as the Bereans did so we can know whether what we are being told is true.

I do recognize bad behavior in other Christians and myself, as well. While I don't always "call" them on their behavior-- because I don't believe in every circumstance it is my duty to do so--I thank God, that I often catch myself and am convicted by my own bad behavior. I believe what's helped me recognize my own bad behavior is some of the discussions we have during Bible study at my church and some of the books we've read in our studies, i.e., Messy Spirituality by Michael Yaconelli; The Politics of Jesus by Obery Hendricks; etc. and the Bible study discussions we have in our small group at work. Talking freely and honestly to other Christians, in different stages of relationship with God & Christ helps us see ourselves more clearly. I also believe when you're truly seeking to grow your own relationship with God instead of focusing on how someone else's walk is progressing or digressing, God will whisper in your ear, pull your coat or do whatever He needs to do to get your attention and place that mirror in our face so that we can truly see ourselves -- more like He sees us.

Right on Holly! Thank you so much for this. I have often watched and learned so much from my non-Christian friends...and from my husband who is not as spiritually mature as I am (according to me!). What a gentle, Spirit-filled reminder. Thank you again.
Blessings,
Jacquie

Holly - congrats on writing an excellent piece conveying something Christians need to hear. The week of Ledger's death I mentioned to a friend at my church's Wednesday night service that I was saddened by the loss. The comment earned me a sad face and a shrug, but when I said that I believed Ledger was a true artist, I received a look of shock and disbelief. The implication was how can anyone who took on the role of a homosexual be praiseworthy.

While I never saw Brokeback and do not condone homosexuality, I refuse to deny someone of their god-given talent because they have not chosen to walk with Christ. Like the rest of us, Heath Ledger was made in the image of God, and his death was a loss of a soul as well as an excellent actor. While his choices reflected one who did not know God, it is not our job to be concerned with which movies he chose to act in (really, there are bigger problems in the world).

I am disheartened by Christians who are so lacking in grace that they can not see the good in mankind. Considering all the evil and injustice in the world (oppression, genocide, human trafficking), I would like to see the Church move beyond the fear of the entertainment industry and gays and into the "highways and byways" where Jesus wants us to be. Jesus spent more time loving and healing people than he did chastising them, and we should strive to do the same.

For years now I have prominently worn a gold cross around my neck on a necklace and I always make sure that it lays outside my blouse/sweater/t-shirt/ etc. for everyone to see. It serves as a reminder when I am talking to people, dealing with a cashier, going about my daily errands and routine, that I am a Christian. There have been times when I have held my tongue or checked my tone when I was frustrated with someone because I knew that they would see that cross and then see how I was reacting and equate my behavior with me being Christians ("Oh, so that's how Christians act!" Or "And she calls herself a Christian!). The cross on my necklace is a powerful reminder that I should always and everywhere strive to be the face of Jesus to those I encounter everyday.

Thanks, that made me think some. It is a good thing to always keep ourselves in check with our judgements. We are to love the world, and as the Bible says, even in the World, but not of the World. If we are going to be able to affect change, we need to get in there right beside them, walk in their shoes, and love them as Christ loves them, day after day, myself included. It is a calling we must remind ourselves of, and live, day in and day out.

Good article. I too am dismayed when things happen like the protests that the Westboro 'baptist' church do. In Oregon, a while back, they came and protested I think for one of our soldiers that had died.

Not only did the grieving family grieve for their son, but they also had to put up from this church, utter hatred. It was really bad....it was all over the news.

That type of thing makes me squirm. I thought your other thoughts were just great.....well thought out and helpful to us, the reader. Thank you

Thank you for posting this! How it must sadden our Lord (the friend of sinners) to see His children shunning those who need Him the most.

Here's my take on the public view of the Heath Ledger tragedy:

www.associatedcontent.com/article/559871/for_heath_ledger_10_things_i_hate_about.html

Isn't this one of those times when the church needs to OPEN ITS DOORS, as tragedy may have opened the hearts of grieving friends and family members?

Could it be that God might just call some tender hearts to repentance and salvation during such a time?

Thanks for speaking up on this.

Blessings,
Linda Ann Nickerson
http://practicallyathome.blogspot.com

Enjoyed your article. I started attending church about 4 years ago. It was "Christians" that kept me out for so long. I would meet people who identified themselves as Christian, but there behavior or words were not. I thought, hey I'm doing fine out here on my own, don't want to become like them.

Holly says: Regarding Verdad's comment: In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus first states he has come to give the Law its full meaning. Then he goes on to explain what he means by this. He uses examples from the Law (on murder, adultery, divorce, and so forth), using the words, "You have heard that it was said ... ." Then he follows this by "But I tell you ... " and discusses God's concern for the state of the heart. He is essentially saying we need to move beyond concern only for external actions (and external sin).

Consider this verse: "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28).

I don't think it serves any good point to debate whether certain sins are worse--we know from Romans that "no one is righteous, not even one" (3:10). Rather, we need to acknowledge the depth of our depravity, and not dismiss it one iota just because it's a thought instead of an action.

I started attending church about 4 years ago. "Christians" kept me away. People I would meet or work with would immediately, when introducing themselves say they were"Christian" but behavior and words said differently.

Good lesson. I often think I am above feeling judgmental or superior but in essence thinking of my christianity as a step above is doing just that. If we don't live our lives as a standard upon which nonchristians see life as better and upon which our behavior mirrors Christ, how in the world can we hope to bring them to believe in Christ. We just seal our fates as hypocrits.

I always love to read articles that express my thoughts better than I ever could! Reminded me of a book I heard of entitled "When Bad Christians Happen to Good People." I don't know much about the book, but the title is very telling! Thanks, Holly, for the article.

Great article! That's why I always tell my friends the difference between believers and non-believers are we're just one begger telling another begger where to look for food!

Grace received is Grace extended...

There are legitimate reasons to oppose what homosexual activists are doing coast to coast, particularly in Massachusetts where a new transsexual rights law threatens churches and schools. Mass Resistance, a pro-family lobbying group, has heroically and sometimes very much singlehandedly, been fighting for the protection of Christian families and churches in that state because of the political agenda of a very active homosexual activist movement. Americans for Truth is another lobbying group that fights to protect home and churches from legislation that would restrict our rights to operate according to our beliefs. As a religious broadcaster, I address these critical issues on my radio show. These concerns do not make me a homophobe, but an active Christian who believes what God said about homosexuality. We also frequently share testimonies of those who God has delivered form this bondage. The living Christ came to set the captives free, and we need to share that message for all who are enslaved by sin, whatever that may be. Phelps has never been a Christian or run a real church, but is Satan's own way of discrediting the very real work that believers are doing in a very difficult time in our nation. It is NOT Phelps like to object to 1st graders in Massachusetts being read homosexual children's literature or otherwise fighting the gay lobby. I want to make that distinction.

A great article. All Christians should read it a couple of times.

Why would our all-loving GOD even think any of the things we think are relevant?
In your hearts we KNOW that GOD does not.
We KNOW that GOD loves us.
Why would He need to punish us (that's a rhetorical question, by the way). We don't need to answer that and we know that.

GOD loves us. Trust that.
This goes for ALL Christians.

We believe all of those things we tell each other: explanations for occurrences around the world; explanations for what (supposedly) happens in each others lives Christian or not because we "read all about it".
We are good at doing just that - reading all about it.
Rumors, opinions, explanations etc. Very un-Jesus.

Be brave, do research about Jesus.
Don't read in the usual channels.
Be brave, explore - GOD will thank you for it.

Trust that there were OTHER things were that Jesus taught. Things that have since become "Secret" things. Things that will become evident in due course.

Be brave, explore - we will benefit in the Heart and we will thank GOD for it.

While I commend Holly's article I also find it somewhat frustrating especially with regard to Mistakes 2 & 3.
Maybe because it highlights a seemingly endless debate amongs Christians about works and sin.
Mistake #3: Thinking Christians earn a “spiritual rank” through works—or lack thereof

-Maybe Christians don't obtain a 'rank' per se but just because I am a Christian but I
rarely pray,read my bible, witness, tithe or give to the poor , even though I'm most probably going to heaven
how can I dare say that I have an equal ranking with say the apostles, missionaries who face death daily for the work of
Christ or someone who is working out their salvation with fear and trembling. What about Jesus' parable about the
good soil.

Mistake #2: Believing some sins are worse than others.
this is a debate I've had with my friend but I do believe that some sins are worse than others.We may
all be sinners but for God's grace but I don't think you can say if I were to wilfully murder someone,
my sin is just as bad as if I had a mean thought about someone.

I personally have always felt that no matter how Christian we are we all sin in some way or another and shouldn't judge other people's behavior. My mother (a God fearing Christian woman) always told me that the biggest hypocrites sit in the pews of Christian churches every Sunday Morning. I've always tried my best not to be one, because I remember how it hurt to be judged by the women in the white gloves when my parents couldn't afford the fanciest church dresses, or allowed me to have a "boyfriend" at 16 etc. Live and let live.

I personally have always felt that no matter how Christian we are we all sin in some way or another and shouldn't judge other people's behavior. My mother (a God fearing Christian woman) always told me that the biggest hypocrites sit in the pews of Christian churches every Sunday Morning. I've always tried my best not to be one, because I remember how it hurt to be judged by the women in the white gloves when my parents couldn't afford the fanciest church dresses, or allowed me to have a "boyfriend" at 16 etc. Live and let live.

Wearing a gold cross on the outside of your shirt? Some might call that PRIDE.
Holly,
Quit the yap about sin. The problem with christianity is that it is obsessed with sin. Thats all it ever talks about. Homosexuality is perfectly natural. It has been documented in over 500 species. It is uncommon but its there, just like in the human race. Gays are born that way, they don't become or choose to become gay. Why would anyone choose to be gay when they know they will be abused and discriminated against for it? If theres anyone to blame for their sexual preferences, its god. You people are also wrong in assuming others get turned off from christianity because of the behaviour of some christians. Thats not it. Its the Holier than Thou attitude of christians, as evidenced by the comments on this site, that really puts people off. Guess what? There is nothing wrong with anger. Or lust. Or any other human emotion. Thats the way we are made. So stop acting like it is beneath you to stoop to the levels of those who experience normal human emotions with negative contonnations. Thats what people hate- '' Oh you poor people, you can't help but give in to your feelings. I am better than that though. I don't lose my temper. Its beneath me to do such a thing. Because I follow christ''.

Holly says: In response to SatansMinion: I agree with you—there are plenty of “holier than thou” Christians in the world. (I hope you’d agree Christians aren’t the only jerks—there are plenty of folks of every belief system and background that are jerks, too.)

I’d like to explain why these holier-than-thou types don’t represent who Jesus is or what the Bible says. For starters, let me give you a simple definition of “sin”: It’s human alienation from God. Try to imagine that there could be an entity who is perfect. This entity is also all-knowing, all-powerful, and eternal. I’ll admit, it’s a little difficult to conceive of such an entity because these ideas are everything humans aren’t. That’s partly the point: God is way beyond us.

The Bible says “there is no one righteous, not even one” and “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Everyone sins. Any Christian who says they don’t sin is absolutely lying. All Christians sin—they sinned before they became Christians, and they continue sinning after they become Christians, until the day they die. I, Holly Vicente Robaina, sin.

Here’s an illustration: Say the most fabulous person on the planet meets the biggest loser on the planet. Loser is mean, jealous, and cruel. There is nothing redeeming about Loser. There’s no reason Fabulous should give Loser the time of day. But for some reason, Fabulous falls in love with Loser. Loser is happy about this, but can’t seem to change, even for love. So Loser neglects Fabulous. Loser cheats, says horrible things to Fabulous, and is abusive. Still, Fabulous continues to love Loser.

This immense, undeserved love makes Loser want to change. So Loser tries to spend more time with Fabulous, tries to say nice things, and even tries to not be cruel. At moments, it seems Loser is a little less rotten and a little kinder. But despite these efforts, Loser is still, at the core, a loser.

This is something like a person’s relationship with God. God’s love is totally undeserved. We have nothing to offer God. And yet he accepts us—all of us. There’s an open invitation to everyone who wants a relationship with him.

God’s love is why Christians strive to sin less. The thought is, Wow, God loves me so much, and I’m such a loser. I’m going to try to do things to show God that I love him, and I’m going to try to avoid attitudes and actions that separate me from God.

I’ve got more to say about why emotions and behaviors like anger and lust cause us to be separated from God, but I don’t want to get too lengthy here. If you’d like to email me and talk, you can go to my personal website, http://h-n-t.blogspot.com/.

And by “talk,” I mean you can vent and I’ll listen, as long you’re willing to read my responses.

It is true that even though we are saved we are still guilty of sinning. none of us can claim to be sin free even after we become christians.

This attitude we have of judging is what drives many people from christianity. Our holier than thou attitude. I once read an article that said that God gives us a new clean white slate every day. A fresh start, without him we would be doomed for ever and as human as we are we would keep judging each other rather than offering support for friend who feels lost and alone.

We as believers donot have the right to judge others for their actions whether good or bad because were are just like the unbelievers, the only difference is the fresh start God gives us every day. When people do things that are contrary to God's will we can pray for them and if possible speak with them lovingly. if we go out and treat them like trash we will never be able to share God's love and grace with them.

I pray that all of us will learn love more than to reducle. God hates the sins we commit not us. if he hated us he would not have sent his son to pay such a painful price for people he hates.

I find my self in some struggles that i would prefere to end. Every time i fall to this same sin i hate myself for it. Then i pray for forgiveness and wonder why God still gives me chance after chance to overcome this problem completely. I have no right to judge someone, everyone has an area in life they fall short of and are not proud even to tell fellow believes because we fear the reations we will get from them. this is not what it should be as brothers and sisters we should be there for each other. These are some of the reasons why you find many seemingly dedicated christians struggling sins that we consider are for unbelievers.

We need grace and favour to turely show support (unconditonal) for each other, be it in our communities, families, friends and to congregation. God help us.

Thanks! It really helps to find out we're all alike.
As for me, I mainly judge the judgmental. ;-)

Whenever I see a Christian behaving badly, it's usually in a public place for all to see. The old me, use to get mad and wonder how someone wearing a cross necklaces and a WWJD bracelet be so blantly rude. I would get angry, then I would feel embarassed. What example is this person being for non believers? I don't get made anymore, usually I am overcome with sadness for them and I'll pray that God will help them to open their eyes to what others are seeing.

Recognizing bad behavior in myself is easy, it's correcting it that's hard. There have been moments when I've caught myself acting like a total idiot for all to see and the Holy Spirit will convict my heart and I'll try and make my wrong right again. Then there are the moments when my earthly ways kick in and I don't take the Holy Spirit's leading.

Those embarrasing moments use to eat away at me and keep me up late at night with deep feelings of regret. But God is gracious because He has showed me to take those regretable moments and learn from them. Instead of punishing myself for it, God helps me to learn from them.

Those bad behaviors and thoughts still come creeping inside me every now and then, but I'm ready for it and immediately pray for self-control and guidance on how to handle the situation. I'm an ambassador for Christ, all eyes are on me. What better way to witness to others by being an example that they can see.

Wow! I know this is kind of a late post to this but I am just now getting caught up on my email reading. I just HAVE to tell you, Holly what an amazing and thoughtful article this is. I am a Christian, but lately have been getting burnt out on church as a "religious organization". It is sad because I used to love to go to my church - and I do love the people there - it feels like home. I just feel like getting up and leaving when pastor constantly preaches condemning and judgemental messages. I think it should be convicting, sometimes, yes, but not condemning. Anyone who can sit back and judge homosexuals or people who have sinned, or can judge which sin is worse than another, are judging the splinter in the other persons eye when they have a log in their own eye! I have had four children who are grown now and one is a christian homosexual, who believes in Jesus, has been baptised, supports many charities, has helped many people, and is a very successful young man. I know there are many who don't believe this can be so, but because God created my son, and God is a God of love I think it can be. I pray to God everyday to please show me how I can help or encourage someone and to continue to learn and grow in Christ Jesus and God's word. If we spent more time working on ourselves and less time judging others this world would be a much better place in which to live.