One of the good things about getting older is we can let go of the insecurities that make us so jealous of others. When I was younger I let envy spoil so many things. Never thinking the things I had compared to others. What a great feeling when we can enjoy what other people have whether it's things money can buy or that outgoing personality!. I always try to encourage the younger women in my life to find that peace and acceptance of themselves as early in life as they can. God made each of us in HIS image and gave all of us things that can be used for HIS Glory. Share your feelings w/other women and help each other be the best we can be for Him.

Oh My! I feel convicted. I was feeling the green eyed monster myself recently. Hebrews 13:5 not only set me straight, but comforted me as well. Thank you!

HI there,
thanks for sharing so openly and from the heart! as a single mum now for 7years with my kids i have had many times to feel envious. In particular at church or out and about when i see many happy family's and couples togeather. So far a new relationship has eluded me. Sometimes it hurts so much and i think of all that my son is missing out on.
Thank you for reminding me of so many other things that i have to be grateful for.
Jayne (New Zealand)

oh I know the feeling...I went far enough recently to tell my husband that I was envious of someone and was mad at him for not being able to let me live that other person's life, then within the month she announced she was fighting cancer and enduring daily radiation treatment...my husband commented, "are you jealous now?"
The lesson taught me that what you see on the surface is just that...what matters is what's underneath.

The paradox of my life: while striving to do my BEST, I'm in proximity to others who are doing EVEN BETTER. To not be defeated by this, I've always prayed, "God, help me keep my GAZE on You; my GLIMPSE on the others.

I so appreciate your transparent heart. If the truth be told by all of us Christian women, we would say, "Amen...I too have felt envy."

Hello: I have envied my lovers wife. I know that what I am doing is the wrong thing to do but I love him and want him.I know if she begins to appreciate him she would have him all to herself, but she doesn't even treat him like a man should be treated. She doesn't even treat him like a person.

It takes courage to own up about being envious of others. None of us is free of this emotion.
Samuel Johnson advised, "Of the blessings set before you, make your choice and be content."
I have found that the more I have confidence in the power, wisdom and providence of the Almighty God, the more I am content with what I have and less envious of others.

Only yesterday, while talking to my niece, I was telling her about the changes I had
made in my living room, but not feeling very satisfied, because of comparing it to
others.
We realized that it is such a trap you can get into because, when is it enough, or good enough?
I know I really need to be close to God to be stay grateful.

Lia

yes, it would be the rare woman (not me!) who has not been slimed by the green eyed monster. the Lord helped me with this one with Jesus answer to peter: "Lord, what about .... " and the Lord's response, "What is that to you? You follow me!" yes, Lord, by Your grace adn the power of Your Holy Spirit, help us to keep our focus on You where it belongs, thank You!

A few years ago I was so envious when a friend of mine announced her engagement. I am talking the kind of envy that keeps you up at night and miserable all day. I could not understand how God could bless someone who does not even know him and keep me in his waiting room. Now that friend is married with an infant son, in addition to the eight year old daughter she had from a previous relationship. She is always broke, never goes out, and her hubby is pretty boring (not to be mean, but he is).
I on the other hand have freedom, new friends, and can travel and treat myself whenever I desire. I can't for the life of me wonder why I was so envious in the first place. I still do desire a mate, but I know God will send me one in his perfect timing.

I have found I'm most envious of another's life, when I'm not fully involved in a ministry myself. When I'm fully using God's gifts He's given me, I don't have time to dwell on someone else's life/gift. I'm totally fulfilled. He's given me dreams I never imagined I could have, through His gifts.
God has transformed many of my trials into ministry...made me the woman I believe He wanted to me.

However, since I have recovered from the advanced stage of cancer I was diagnosed with...and am left with low energy...I have noticed I'm less content. Oh, initially, it was enough to survive. but, I have become less content. I do have a ministry..but my heart is less content in it. Thanks for reminding me, I don't want to remain in this frame of mind. Praise be to the name of God forever and ever, wisdom and power are His. He desires that I pour my life back into others' lives.
He instills wisdom and power in my life to fulfill what He has for me...NOW.

Bless your honest heart! Envy is one most common thing that I think hits men and women alike. You know what's the best thing we've got? If it attacks us, we can go right back to what we know should be...our heart's obedient response to our God. Then it stops. If at times I do feel this, I remind myself that each individual has their own portion of whatever God has for them. To get to the bottom of it...if it's yours, it's really yours, If it ain't...it really ain't. Let's ask God for grateful hearts for every little thing He has placed in our hands this 2008 and that includes a missing waistine and love handles. Happy New Year to all!

A good article I think everyone can relate to. Although I truly don't recall feeling hatred towards anyone in similar situations as mentioned in this article I've certainly envied things some people have that I don't at times. I do recall feeling hatred (NOT envy!) towards a drunken bride that wouldn't let go of my husband. Thinking of what it would be like to be this person instantly showed me that being her was more punishment than I could imagine. I'm truly grateful to God and my parents that I have never ever wanted to be anyone else or have their life.

Jane

Thanks for being so honest. You are brave for revealing what goes in our minds when we are envious...because it happens to all of us. It may be a different situation for a different reason but we have all felt envy. I think to move away from envy you really have to admit that you have been envious and see the exact reasons for it...otherwise you keep convincing yourself that it's the other perosn or thing causing you the grief rather than your own heart's perception.

To Heather: I love that saying about keeping your gaze on God. It's fantastic.

Thank you for sharing! Excellent testimony for getting and keeping us on track and FOCUSED on Him!!!

thanks for being honest i to have had the monster of jealousy but i am in a stage of being content with what i have and leave the rest to God he knows best.

I too have felt envy from time to time and it usually involves the relationship that my mother and sister have. She is the youngest and lives in another city, and I'm here dealing with everything up close and personal on a daily basis. Yet I know my mother loves us both dearly. Its just that we have different relationships with her, and it took me a while to realize that. And I just remind myself of that from time to time,whenever envy tries to get me down.

To Mary who is jealuous of your lovers wife. Mary, what are you doing? This is against a Holy God not just this man and woman. Mary, this man will never be faithful to you, he is not faithful to his wife who he PROMISED to GOD to love honor and cherish, this is not a man you want to be with or could ever trust I plead with you to leave this relationship and get back into fellowship with your Father God. Mary, what you have is not Love it is lust and the two are worlds apart. Mary, please seek God and some Godly counsel. This relationsip can never be good.

Help. I am envious of others even though
I am very Blessed.

I mean I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes and a car that gets me back and forth to work.

I lost everything when I divorced, my choice.

Yikes Me Too!

I suffered, and once and awhile still do, of the big green-eyed monster. I compared myself to just about anyone who passed my path. Not simply people I knew, but those that I would pass on the street. The "I am thinner, prettier, not as thin, etc. popped up all of the time.

Thank God He has calmed the monster and fully made me realize how wonderful my life is and that I have more abundance then I could possibly dream of. Simply because I everything I have is from Him.

Roof over my head, the ability to pay my bills, good health now, and a wonderful family that is growing my leaps and bounds with grandchildren.

Amen

I can totally relate. At one point in my Christian walk I became so discontent with my singleness that I couldn't rejoice when fellow Christians got married. That was very painful for me because I prided myself in being able to share in my friends' joy and suffering.

A thought that helps me through envy is realizing that I can't just want the good things in someone else's life; everybody has both good and bad and you can't separate them. For example, I was envious of a friend's great-looking body, but I remember that she suffered through being overweight for years; I've never had that struggle. I envied another friend because her dad bought her a car and a house when I had to scrape together my own money to get those things for myself. Then I thought about the fact that her parents divorced when she was a child and how the only relationship she has with her father is through the money he spends on her; on the other hand, my parents are happily married and very close to me.

Reasoning through my envy with these types of thoughts (and the Scriptures) helps me to overcome envy with gratitude and humility--and I know that pleases God.

I have struggled with secondary infertility (I have one child, but am unable to have another.) I so want another child and feel envious of others around me who have had no trouble conceiving. It is such a blessing that so many women take for granted. I wish I could say that I have my "monster" under control- but I don't always. I just try to remember the incredible gifts that God has given me in my amazing husband and son.

Ah, jealousy. I know it well. And envy...
Thank you for this post. Also for everyone's responses - they ahve been as interesting and useful as the post itself. Many of them teach me that jealousy and envy are insatiable beasts. I have no husband or children. Someone with a husband and child wants more children... and so it goes.
When I was young I wanted a jbo that paid X amount. I passed that ages ago (promotion and inflation/CPI combined!) but still want more.

Is God enough? I'm wrestling with that at the moment. I'm usually drawn back to Thomas' (?) words to Jesus, "to whom else shall I go?"

blessings everyone

Thank you for being so honest! If we were all as honest, I believe we would admit that we have all been envious of others at some point...it's human nature. Recognizing that we are wrong and asking God to show us the blessings He has given us personally are the best ways to counteract that.

There are many transactions going on in our dark world, unfortunately many people are caught unawares. It is important that we recognised them before we are taken captive. When you constantly find yourself hating others, or you are jealoused of what others has or you have this attitude of why not me. You need to deal with these evil traits before you run into some serious troubles. I think the best way out is by rebuking these thoughts whenever they are proposed. Thank you for being truthful honest, your message consolidates my message for today.
May the lord saving grace see us through.

Thank you so much for this. I struggle with jealousy all the time. I am mostly jealous of this girl from my church. The wierd thing is we are so alike. We like the same things, dress alike, have the same hobbies, similar home lives. I often feel like she stole my personality, kind of like the funny woman at the table. I often try to one-up her, but I usually just end up making myself look foolish. I really just need to remember that God made me special, and I'm the only me. I've really been trying hard to be better. Thank you for posting this. Your honesty was a blessing.

I may be the one who you envy. Its not nice being hated and if you treat me kindly your husband or boy friend will respect and love you more.

when u see another woman having it all,she turns towards you and emmediately you turn ur face the other way,to you,its safe not making friends.is that the monster attacking?

when i see another woman having it all,she turns towards me and i simply turn away thinking to myself... hmn,better not making friends.is that a bit of this monster attack or worse?

Thanks a lot for this write up. I struggle with jealousy everytime! Why is my husband not as romantic as some of my friends' husbands seemingly are? I forget to thank God for a stable, faithful and hardworking man. God is so loving and merciful. He just loves us inspite of our envy of others and always forgetting to say thank you Lord!

thank you for posting this. when I look back over the years, I didn't realize at the time how envious I was of others and I can see that stopped me from knowing them and possibly God using me to be an encouragement to them. well, when I recognize that emotion trying to rise up in me, this time I do not run. in those times, i pray in my heart giving my desires over to Him and strength to face others, not be fake, but love them as God wants me to and how i would want to be loved. i'm finding it get easier to deal with and now i know i am not ignorant of the enemy or my old-self devices and daily, moment by moment surrendering my will to God. I know what God has for me is better than what I am trying to set up for myself. thanks again for posting this. i know i'm not the only one whose been there, and i know I am not the only one whose gotten the victory through Jesus! Hallelujah! God bless you.