And you're supposed to be a Christian woman? Like any modern self-worshipper, you reject the Bible's clear words that children are a blessing from God and make your husband get himself surgically castrated. I guess you've had too many "blessings", huh? And then you brag about b****ing at him when he was in pain?My impression is that you're just a typical modern woman who believes it's her birthright to have it all, family, morality, and the Bible be d***ed

This was wonderful. I am pastoring a group of women that are great bearers of strength through Christ. Three of them are going through the process of dealing with abnormal lumps, and I see within them the ability to step back from that metal machine and they know, whatever it determines will be their next journey, they will overcome because Jesus overcame on the cross of Calvary for them. God put within us great strength and I am proud to be a bearer of God's great strength!

I have two statements to address: 1) Joann you are very hypocritical judging Carla and using "language" to get your pt across. Whether or a man has a vasectomy has nothing to do with their belief in Jesus and God. The same as women having their tubes tied. It is a sense of responsibilty to not bring more children in this world that cannot be taken care of. How abt addressing the fact her husband called her a wimp. That is not how you speak to your wife. It is not very supportive. 2) Carla- Getting back at your husband in his moments oif weakness if not very supportive either nor very respectful. What happened to puttig God first in a marriage??? As a side note: women are very strong beyond their on belifs. I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 34 and mother was diagnosed 6 months earlier with Ovarian ca. Both my parents have passed as a result of cancer and I have been in remission for 5 yrs!! That is a work of God. That is who we need to praise. Not ourselves!!!!

Carla,

Thank you for being a mighty woman of God! Thank you for celebrating your humanity while accepting all of its limits and strengths! I remember (shortly after my conversion) when a dear sister asked me this very provoking question" how did christianity affect my womenhood?" Wow; this is where the rubber really meets the road in faith! How does our faith affect our lives in the dificulties of living with a spouse, parenting children and struggling with the decisions that impact most folks today? It's in those deep struggles of faith that we find Our Savior, our Comfortor and Our Friend, Jesus Christ! It's in these moments of life that our faith can grow deeply, or it can choose to be shallow and settle for the religious affectation of conformed outward behavior. So, I encourage you dear sister, keep on keeping on! Press in to be all you can be in Christ, as a mother, as a wife, as a woman! May He grant you even more grace to be stronger than ever before! Thank you for bringing your writing gift to the table! I enjoyed partaking of it immensely!

"In my current stage of life, I put my strength on the line every day, trying to be a good mother, a good wife, a good editor, a good friend. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll get through these years of having young children, of giving so much of myself to other people. Sometimes I’m certain I’m one disaster away from falling apart."

I wonder how your husband feels: being a good dad, a good husband, a good whatever-he-does vocationally, and a friend -- with a wife who writes publicly in a way that makes herself sound uncaring.

I don't think you are uncaring. But I think as women we need to celebrate the strength that God alone gives us, without comparing it to anyone else -- other women, or our husbands.

Please hang up your Super Cape for a while and give yourself a rest. Be still and know that HE is God.

Wow, what a scathing comment. Sounds a little harsh for someone who has to bleep out her main points!

I must admit, I was quite shocked to read Johann's comments after reading a thoughtfully written article. I see a woman who acknowledges a shortcoming without bragging about it. I see no indication of self-worship or calling her children a burden and I see no indication of "making" her husband do anything. The reasons behind their decision are none of our business and we should refrain from making accusations without evidence. I appreciated the reminder that we are created as partners for men - just as they are partners for us. We are neither stronger nor weaker. I find it incredible how God designed us to combine our complementary strengths into a single unit to best reflect His image to those around us.

I don't see this article as a rejection of the Bible's saying that children are a blessing from God. Just because she and her husband decided not to have any more children doesn't mean they aren't thankful to God for the ones they have. I think this article is very well written and shows that God created men and women as equal. Although we go through different things in life, we are all created in God's image. I'm not sure how the first commenter Johann viewed the article as she did and there was no need to criticize Carla for writing it, especially with the use of profanity. It's easy to get your point across without bashing and swearing at people. Or perhaps you missed that part of the Bible too along with Matt. 7:1-2 "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use it, it will be measured back to you."

To not have an epidural in order to prove a point seems a little spiteful and competitive if you ask me. Not something that goes far in marriage.

Johann,
Seems like your a bit edgy today. Each couples decision on their family is really a decision made together. So her husband got a vasectomy, so did mine. If we really wanted more chidren, we would adopt some kids that need a family. (we have discussed it) My children are a blessing, but to say that everybody has to have as many as you have, is really going against God's gift of free will. God doesn't say that we have to have X number of children, He says that children are a blessing. It is really up to each couple (and God) how many children are they supposed to care for.

Thank you Carla, for this article, I could very much relate to many of your thoughts. I really don't think that the "weaker sex" refers to internal strength, but physical strength. I can't lift as much as my husband, but when it comes to taking one of my children to the emergency room, it is usually me taking them because I deal with it better.

My husband deals better with an upset person than I do, he has a way of calming a situation down. We are a team because of how we work together.

Thank you for challenging us to think about what we believe.

Wow - totally uncalled-for, and completely inappropriate on a Christian website. Do you think those words or that attitude gives glory to Christ??

Carla, thank you for your insights. I'm finding as I get older that my whole perception of "strength" is turning inside out. It is no longer about "getting" or "holding onto" or "withstanding" or "conquering"; instead, it is about staying close to Jesus when every other hat I wear distracts me from Him. I was reading in Isaiah 58, vs. 9 and 10, which talks about "spending" oneself in behalf of the hungry and the oppressed - that paints a picture to me of pouring out all I am until there is nothing left, in service of the Lord. That is a kind of strength I aspire to.... only through God's grace.

I loved this article; I have not had children and probably will not simply due to lifestyle and circumstances... But yes indeed The Lord did make women strong & when he was done creating the first woman he said "it is very good". There is no shame in celebrating our strength. Times have changes, the role of Men & Woman have changed but our hearts are still Gods and he does not refer to us as the weaker sex -- he called on women several times in the Bible to save nations. Thank you for your article & your humor... we can all relate in one way or another!!! God Bless

be kind!! your above post was so vicious!! treat her kindly!

Hey Johann,

Get bent! Kinda makes me wonder what you're compensating for. That was such a "Christian" response - the bleeped out curse words really made you seem extra "churchy". Gotta wonder if you are a medical doctor with ESP, that you feel you are just so qualified to sit in judgement of someone else's medical and family decisions. Want to see an example of a modern day pharasee? Look in the mirror. You are the perfect speciman.

Carla,

I loved your article. You are right in that many women do not realize the strenght that God has so graciously given them. It took me many years to discover that womanhood truely is a gift, not a curse. I particularly enjoyed the part about your mother. My mother is now in her 70's and I am amazed at her wisdom and at the same time afraid for many of the things she will face over the next few years.

Thank you for sharing. It takes guts to write from the heart whe there are so many sanctimonious people around.

Johann needs to take it easy. I'm sure Carla's husband wanted the procedure or he wouldn't have got it. And just for the record I want more kids and my husband doesn't so we've agreed not to take any permanent measures as a compromise. It is our right and privelege to have 'it all' when that means family and morality. And we don't need to inject curse words on here to do it either!

The actual point of your composition is well-taken--women are much stronger than we think or have been given credit and it is because of all the strength God poured into her. Being single causes development of one type strength; marriage develops another; parenthood, yet another. We are all at different places on different (though similar and/or parallel) paths. We are to help each other and all lean on Him as we travel. Thanks for the affirmation and insight.

maybe websites could have a link to click on IF you are interested in reading other people's comments, or maybe they could NOT post them if they are inappropriate.

Cool thoughts, Carla. :) From another Christian female perspective, that comment above is totally unnecessary and I hope it doesn't ruin your day! Just wanted to post something in response to that and in support of your article.

Good stuff!

-Karen

Wow! I hope Johann doesn't claim herself to be a Christian woman either! You probably do since you were reading this website...but people fail to remember when someone is a Christian it doesn't make them free from error. No matter what we are humans and make mistakes.
I believe Carla, the editor, was just making her point loud and clear and sometimes being direct is the only way to go. Of course women are stronger that is why God chose us to bear children. And you are using words that you can't spell all the way out and being judgemental..isn't that hypocritical?

Thank you for sharing and encouraging us as women that we are not the "weaker sex" but that we were created as a "helper" to come alongside Adam and be his helpmate. Before Eve was created, there was one thing that God said was not good--no suitable helper was found for Adam. God saw it fit to create Eve and it was very good. Keep on reminding women that we are created in His image for His good purposes.

A woman's strength can come from many places. Fortunately for a Christian woman, that strength can be derived from the gracious, courageous example of Christ love which he demonstrated for all. One of the most comforting dimensions of His love is the compassion he extends to us that we in turn can share with others.

Of all the blessings and challenges that life has brought me, the strength that Christ gives me, the ability to love others and myself and to deal compassionately with them is the greatest gift that I can share.

I encourage you to do likewise.

Hi Carla. Thanks for your post. Children are a blessing, as you know. Your perspective on strength was well received. With God's help we can bear pain, loss, and growth. Growing with you,

Adrienne
You Grow, Girl
www.yougrowgirl.org

God has certainly given women a strength--it comes from Him--in our weakness we find our strength in HIM!! The year my husband died, two close family members also lost their husbands. After the third death, I said to the one, "Why is it that God takes the men and leaves us alone?" And she wisely answered, "Because we can take it." And she is right--the Lord has been my strength through the dark and lonely days, and has not for a minute forsaken me. Many close family members and friends have commented on my strength, and I have told them, "I am a wimp--but I have the strength of the Lord that gives me endurance." I thank the Lord daily for His wonderous love, mercy, strength, comfort, grace, beauty--and I could go on and on!!! HE HAS NEVER FAILED ME!

Being a woman who has been pregnant, had an epidural and a c-sectoin, and is pregnant again and facing a c-section again, I totally understand where she's coming from! I'm sure it's hard to get snipped - but it's even harder to be pregnant for 9 months, then have 14 hours of labor going not much of anywhere to finally end up with an unexpected c-section! But we got a beautiful baby girl out of the whole process, and I am so grateful that she is here, no matter how much discomfort and pain I had to endure! In my eyes, she is just talking about the facts of life, and that doesn't mean she isn't being a Christian Woman!

And for the record, my husband volunteered to get himself snipped in our case, so sometime before baby #2 is born, he will be. :)

while i may or may not agree with all of carla's personal choices, i applaud her point that we have our Lord's strength as women... and we need to celebrate all that He has made us... and praying that includes His strength to disagree without being hurtful, and to see the hurt and fears behind any and all attacks...

Wow Johann!! When God made us, He also gave us a brain. The fact that children are blessings from God doesn't mean we should just go about having children when we don't have the means to provide for them. Go check out Proverbs, and read the bit about acquiring wisdom. If you are a Christian, why are you using vulgar language like this when someone is describing her daily struggle and fight to live for God? It's about her relationship with God, and obviously God gave her a will. We all have a will, and her life, as she is living it, is falling in line with God's will for her life. Who are you to judge? If you believe children are blessings and you will go about having as many kids as you can, good for you. Do not come in here and preach YOUR morality. It is not up to YOU to interpret the Bible for her.

And, what is wrong with being a "modern" woman? A woman who uses her God-given gifts and abilities to support herself, and if she has them, her husband and children? A woman who knows that she is created in God's own image, that she was made to be her man's helper, not his servant? Make no mistake. The "modern" woman is not doing anything that goes against God's edicts. Maybe you should read your Bible a little more closely.

God bless you.

I have to disagree with the first remark. I also went through childbirth without drugs. After watching what I went through, my husband chose to have surgery to save me from any more trauma, either from drugs or childbirth. I really appreciate your sharing. I identify with you and cried at the emotion. Great work, fellow Christ-follower!!!

I do think this blog is a disgrace to God, the bible and Christianity Today Magazine/Today's Christian Woman. I cannot believe that it got past the editors and was allowed to be posted. I feel bad for the author that she belittles her husband and then writes about it publically - bragging about it so the whole world can see it. However, I feel more badly for the author's husband that he is married to a woman that exemplifies such ungodly behavior.

My next question is, if you don't believe what the bible says about women - why do you work for a Christian Magazine? It is very apparent that women demonstrate great strength in many, many circumstances. The scripture verse that states women are the weaker sex needs to be read and interpreted in its proper context - not ridiculed and determined to be false by one rogue writer that was allowed to slip through the cracks.

This article was great--I really applaud her words and appreciate her thoughts. Perhaps because they so closely mirror my own.

And a response to Johann's comment above:
As a pastor's wife for 34 years, I see your comments as stemming from an anger perhaps born of inner confusion about what God and Christ ask of us as their children. Of course, children are a blessing from God, but nowhere in the Bible does it say that you are to never use birth control. It does however ask us to be responsible in our lives and bring up our children in a healthy and moral way. What if you can't afford to keep having children? Is it responsible to bring children in to the world that you can't feed or clothe or educate? And what if it was the husband's idea to have the vasectomy, which if you know anything about it, is NOT even close to castration. And the truth of the matter is that the short-lived discomfort of a vasactomy is nothing compared to a pregnancy and/or difficult delivery, etc. You might try reading the Bible again with the clearer view of an open mind and the love that Christ taught in your heart.

Terrific article that came when I was feeling down about some of my "duties" As a wife, mom. grandmother , nurse and a volunteer to the underprivleged, I needed this boost to restore my strength. Women so do "double duty" every day with family and so many work outside the home. I know you were being light hearted and funny when talking about your husband. If we don't make light of some of our daily stresses we'd be tense all the time.

At first I was upset about the comment made by Johann and thought about slinging a comment or two of my own. But that would have just put me in the mud along with him. God made us ALL in his likeness. We all have our own different strengths and weaknesses. It does not make one better than the other. We are all Gods treasure...His true delight!!! Let's all remember that......It's easy to come up with dirt but sometimes we have to try harder to find the good in things.....and if we try hard enough we can find it in almost every thing and situation. I for one would rather find the good than slop around in the mud. I agree with you Carla, that man was not complete until he created woman. We compliment each other. Let's all remember that and quit the mud slinging. Like my momma taught me, and I taught my children......If you haven't got something nice to say, don't say anything. Bitterness begets bitterness.

Carla, In the office recently we were talking about the humiliation of mammograms and a few have had breast cancer, so its good to have a lighter look at the things women face. Your article encouraged me. I would like to reprint it in our local church magazine. Is that permissable? Thank you.

Carla - you had me laughing, and thanking God for the woman around me who are my heros.... I think I have a few notes of blessing to write to those I love so deeply and celebrate in writing the strength and courage I see God pour into them. Have you ever heard Anita Renfroe's (Woman of Faith) description of a mammogram? I know you would laugh the whole way through it. She's got it on some of her DVD's she sells.
Leslie

While I understand what you're trying to say here, I think it does send the wrong message. Women are strong, yes. And we should remember that...however, not by belittling men. I hate that women play the childbirth card. Your husband's pain was real. Young boys struggle through adolescence as much as girls do. Men fight cancer, too.

Keep in mind, building up women does NOT have to include beating down men.

I just had to post after reading what Johann said before me....Everything you said is so right! Before I got pregnant for the first time, I was a little prima donna. Everything revolved around me. I feel most people are like this. But after enduring the physical and emotional 'testing' that happens not only with childbirth, but with being a mother, I know I can handle anything. Other life-events were in there, too - losing both of my parents, dealing with not having enough money, etc. but I believe with all of my heart that what made me strong enough to handle absolutely anything is the fact that I have three sons who need me to be there for them....

Here's a question. In today's modern world, where people are blessed to live longer than ever and if they choose to are still able to have children for may of those years, the population of his planet is growing rapidly and will eventually begin to put a strain on its resources, if it hasn't already. What is so sacred, or ever responsible about a couple having as many children as possible in today's world. In some case might it not actually be wise for a couple to decide, by one means or another, not to have any more children, thereby allowing the resources of both that family and of society to be more richly invested in fewer kids? There is only so much to go around, not just money, but unless we begin to colonize space, there is only so much room, water, food, etc on this planet to go around. While there is nothing wrong with having many children, the current trend towards having fewer, rather than being selfish arrogance, might actually wisdom in the long term though having to humility to recognize that humankind has to share the world and its resources with each other and the more of us there are the more likely it will be that there won't be enough to go around. Times change and I believe that wisdom, not arrogance, allows us to learn to change with them in a Godly way. There are no easy answers to the ethics of the advances of the modern world, but recognizing that change can be and sometimes is the right answer is a step towards sorting it out.

Wow! And I though I could be sarcastic! So how many children do you have, Johann? How many times have you been through labor and delivery?

How easy to miss the point, and how all-knowing of you to criticize someone else's decisions before God.

Four words for you:

Mind your own business.

Make sure that your attitude is not a worse sin that what you perceive this woman's sin to be.

Put the rock down.

Johann,
That was really harsh! You are passing judgment upon a woman whom you don't know. Also in the Bible as we are not supposed to do! Lighten up!

I agree that women are NOT the weaker sex. You know the old joke, if husbands and wives had to take turns bearing children, no family would have more than three, and that is how many you would have if the wife went first and the husband took a turn!
My husband was great during my two pregnancies and very supportive of me. He appreciated that I was going through the discomfort and pain to bring our children into the world. Our daughters are now 19 and 23 and we've enjoyed raising them together.
I thank God for my husband and my family. May God bless you and yours.
Dori

Wow Johann, YOU'RE supposed to be a Christian woman? Judging, cussing, berating a sister? sorry I didn't realize those were the characteristics of a TRUE Christian woman. Guess I"ll have to be a little nastier to other women if I want to be a Christian woman like yourself.

What a great, strong post. I'm a little clueless as to what the woman above was trying to say, but grateful for the freedom to have these types of dialogues. : ) Keep writing!

Johann:

I BEG your pardon! What on earth would make you write such hateful things in response to Carla's honesty? This is why it's so hard for Christian women to open up, to be real! They face the onslaught of cruelty from women like you.

What pain in your life makes you respond so harshly--to question a sister in Christ's faith? And since when is one a "self-worshipper" to celebrate the strength and beauty of the women God created?

The good news for you is that eveyone reading your reply can sense your anger and bitterness (as I'm sure they can sense mine right now. Sorry about that!), and I'm sure will be praying for a sense of peace in your life, sister. Blessings!

I'm personally not one who tolerates pain well, but always was physically strong, especially my hands. As an OB nurse for 30 years, I have seen my share of pain. I taught Lamaze for 15 years and taught couples how to work out the pain together, but not to ignore pain relief that is available. Most men show a great deal of respect for the woman who has given birth, especially when it's in a committed relationship. Now God gives them the challenge of guiding and providing for the new or growing family--they are the ones who have the responsibility to provide for them. Yes, there are times they fail to love "as Christ loved the church", but we as women must respect and honor them.
My husband has more physical strength, but I have a greater emotional strength, such as numerous medical appointments alone and to deal with 4 years of very little sleep (2-3 hours at a time max.) for our disabled child. We are both given our gifts and are to be thankful we don't have the load to carry alone.
When there is a breakup in a relationship or a marriage the challenges change. That's when we need our friends and mostly we need God to carry us through. My greatest challenge is to release to my husband the tasks he has been assigned by God. My strongest point is my will and it is very hard to break and it has taken some pretty hard knocks in my life to give in to God's will.

Although I do feel that this article has a woman-focus rather than a God-focus, my concern is with the previous comment by Johann. First of all, NOWHERE in the Bible are we commanded to have 14 children rather than 2 of 3. "Being fruitful" doesn't require a specific quota we need to meet. This was a personal choice that this couple made and is none of your business, although the author should have kept it to herself if she doesn't want comments on it.
In regards to all of your "biblical" references, there are a few that you may need to go over again:
Love others as yourself... Be kind and compassionate, forgiving others as the Lord forgave you... Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth... speaking the Truth in LOVE... Faith, hope and love, and the greatest of these is love.
Johann, when a Christian needs correcting, you first need to take it to the Lord in prayer and see what His word says about it, then, in love, gently share His truth with them. Remember that they may have never heard a particular truth and you could be sharing it with them for the first time! Also remember that several things in the Bible are confusing and unless there is a clear command ("Thou shalt have as many children as is humanly possible for as long as possible"), YOU could be the one that is wrong in this! Humility now will save you embarrassment later, Johann.
Above all, if you can't act and speak in love, keep your mouth shut and let God work in your heart. Perhaps teaching you how to love others is why God allowed you to read this article.

I have no clue who this Johann person is, but I feel like I should apologize to Christianity Today and Today's Christian Woman for his/her remarks. They are entirely inappropriate. When I started reading the blog on women and strength, I knew that Satan would be sending someone to try to poison the atmosphere because Satan hates it when women realize their strength and influence on the world.

Care to know the thoughts of a Christian man who stumbled on to this blog?

Here goes: how very sad.

Carla may have told us more about her marriage than she really meant to. Humor can do that sometimes.

Yes, I know that I don't belong here. And no, I don't think that I am "better" than Carla for a moment--like Paul, I am "the worst of sinners."

I stopped by TWC for a little ongoing "research" to help me be a better "student" of my wife of 15 years. I want to understand her world more fully; to live with her more sensitively; to love her in more genuinely sacrificial ways.

This post was more troubling than illuminating.

Carla is obviously an accomplished professional. Words are her expertise; she undoubtedly knows their power. Yet the tenor of her post--the sarcasm, the apparent satisfaction at her husband's pain--is stunning; perhaps even more so appearing as it did in a TWC blog.

How very unfortunate.

She has a good and valuable point to make about the enduring, God-given strength that women have. But it is lost in the din of an ill-considered example.

The crucible of marriage brings out our best and our worst. I know it has revealed the selfish, manipulative, and--here's a theologically-precise term--"cruddy" nature of my heart time and again. Fortunately my wife offers me grace and mercy in the midst of my "crud." And I try to do the same for her.

Neither of us need antagonism or sarcasm.

Count me but a dazed and confused knucklehead of a man, who blundered into someone else's conversation. I am but a wretched mess without Christ.

I'm pretty sure we all are.

As for me, I'd never accuse women of being weak. Of course, I wouldn't accuse men of being weak either. The title of the article was, "The Weaker Sex?" That indicates the question was: Are women as a sex weaker than men? That question was ignored, and the question that was really answered was this: Are women weak? Now, the answer to the second question is, "No, women are strong." That has no bearing on the first question though: Are they AS STRONG as men? The answer there is clearly "no."

Thank you Carla for your article, I am a great believer in being real and honest, of course you and I trust and love God our saviour but we also are in this world and we are not perfect people we could pretend to be of course but that would be like the pharisees not a good idea! Some of the replies make me smile they obviously have it all together in their perfect world... Be encouraged Jesus loves our uniqueness with all our quirky bits that make us, us! Keep writing love your realness your humaness!

It depends on what kind of strength you're talking about. Sheer muscle mass? Yes, men have more. There are many different strengths, though, and women have many. I do think that there are areas that women are stronger. My father swears that women are stronger emotionally. I don't really think this has to be a men vs. women thing. God made us both for a reason, and part of that is to compensate for each other's weaknesses. Let's just say that as individuals, not genders, God has given each of us strengths we should use to help advance his kingdom.

I agree with Amber. God gifted women with strength and he gifted men with strength, each is different. Why should we be proud of our strength at the expense of our husbands, that is not fair or just! It certainly isn't classy either. I am sure if we had to walk a day in their shoes (our husbands) we would give them a lot more grace as would they if they had the opportunity to do the same.

Lord humble us so we don't allow pride to erode our marriages and our relationships. Help us to see our own weakness and be gracious to others.

Carla has had a lot of positive responses and some negative ones. I would like to add mine to the "positive" list. Some of us like to cover the seriousness of our subject with self-depracating humor. There's no harm in that. Call it an "I Love Lucy"-like tendency. Thank you for reminding we women of the strength we possess. And what is the purpose of that strength? To share the gospel, to strengthen the feeble knees, to help the oppressed and, more simply, to continue carrying the burdens of life. I was blessed to read this article and to be reminded, again, that God has given us the tools we need to be Women For Him. Thank you for that reminder.

Encouargement for Today, some how that title does not fit. I was sure not encouarged reading comments that are bleeped and angry words being written towards one another. I could have been just as "encouraged" reading the editor's section of the local newspaper!

I loved this whole article!!! I am women here me roar!! This is a magazine where we as Christian woman can come and express our feelings. Does that mean we can't be who we truly are? I have a killer sense of humor and a quick wit, both built into my character. Does that make me less of a christian? Remember God designed me. He also designed Carla with a sense of humor. You Go Girl!! I did make a few witty remarks to my husband before and after his 'BIG V"!

Carla

I read this article and as I read some of the comments, I thought WOW! these women are really harsh towards you and it grieves my spirit. The comment that I would like to give is that you sound human! All women go through things and just because we are, "Christians" doesn't mean that we aren't real and that we don’t have struggles or emotions. I am a baby Christian and when I hear stories of "real life women”, it encourages me that I CAN make it. It let's me know that when I have struggles or deal with my real emotions whether in my marriage, with my children or just life in general that if mess up it’s okay. I thank God for making me unique. . I believe that God loves us just as we are and where we are at in our life and walk. Some of these women seem like that have achieved the perfection point in their Christianity where they no longer have frustrations but are in utter peace with everything. I hope that one day I can get there but when I do; I pray to God I don’t become judgmental like them. I pray that I can still have compassion towards other women and let them know, if I made it through sister so can you!!!!

Those critical of this article must have missed her qualifier: "We may have scheduled this surgery a bit too soon after our third child’s birth (when I did have an epidural), because I wasn’t the most sympathetic of caretakers." Carla acknowledges that she probably would have handled taking care of her husband better had she not been wiped out from recently having a baby.

Many women hear innocent negative coments from their husbands (Christian and non-Christian alike). Since God made us emotional beings, we tend to take offense. Obviously, Carla still loves her husband inspite his manly mistakes. THAT is the Christian in her! We let those little things go, but we still have to make our point. It's just in our womanly nature. :)

Thank you to baby Christian Lisa for pointing out that none of us are perfect. This article was encouraging to me too as I struggle with trying to be "perfect". It helps me remember that no one is perfect, no not one of us. Only Jesus, and He allows us to laugh at our imperfecitons! He understands us and loves us just the way we are. Thank you Lord for sending Him for us! :)

I came on this page as I was doing a search on the strengths of the Christian woman in prep. for a Bible Study I teach. I found Carla's article to be a honest portrayal of how most of us feel in these kinds of circumstances, as well as funny. Those who have been offended at the honesty she displays strike me as fairly self-righteous - are Christians never allowed to admit our sins to others? We will never know the grace of God until we see how in in need of it we are. I'd be willing to guess that those who feel free to criticise someone they've never met, are also just as likely to criticise their spouse as Carla was. We are ALL in desperate need of God's continuing, sanctifying work in our lives. Hopefully Carla's article will spur us all on to deal with one another (and particularly our spouses) with the love and compassion that God shows us on a daily basis.

Thank you Carla,

Your article encouraged me to push ahead in my marraige. I appreciate your honesty because I often feel this way. No matter how much negativity you receive concerning your article, please know that there are women out there like myself who need to know that someone can identify with us. Please continue your encouraging articles and please ignore the immaturity of the people who have other issues that they may be wrestling with. Please pray for them that God will help them past this. Thank you again for your encouragement to press on.

"may the arms of the great mother ever surround me" praise to the goddess...