Loved these thoughts, especially your last sentence! May we all have the grace to not only "be ourselves" but to also let others be!

The main reason I do not dye my hair is I do not want those chemicals going into my body. An interesting website is the site for the EWG- the Environmental Working Group. You can go to their Skin Deep report and type in many many cosmetics and beauty aids and it will show you which ones are the least damaging to your body. It is a great site!

So ... what did you decide? Are you dying, or not? (Ha ha!)

My grandmother was a lively, active, strong woman who colored her hair until she was in her 80's. Her decision to let her hair "go natural" aged her considerably. Instead of passing for someone, possibly in her late 60's, she now looked every day her 80 plus years when she saw this little old lady looking back from her mirror. She began to think of herself as old. She literally withered up.

My OTHER grandmother continued to wear her black hair of youth till the day she died, near 90. It looked artificial and harsh, but she felt she still had some grasp of the young woman she was inside, albeit locked into an aging body.

I plan to always color my hair and go out screaming and kicking. It may not be a black helmet like my grandmother's hair was, but the grey WILL be colored! After seeing the perception and personality changes in my grandmothers' reaction to grey hair, the last thing I want to do is add any more fuel to the devil's fire to convince me that I am too old to be useful in God's kingdom.

Thanks for the insights especially the way God sees us. I"m 57 and love my graying hair. Even my hairstylist tells me I shouldn't color it!(who would have ever guessed) b/c it is so attractive. Well that right there only confirmed my own belief that Gray is Beautiful and a crown of glory for my head!!! I worked hard for every gray hair on my head, why would I cover all that experience and wisdom? Just another example of the lies we believe in our society today.

I also have gone silver at 46 and get a lot of comments good and bad...the last time I went for professional color she turned me Ronald Mc Donald ornge red...I said ENOUGH I color stripped my hair and have gone natural! I get Braces on Mon so I will have a 12 yo mouth and 70 yo hair!!! I love it my husband loves it and like TIME mag. said I am part of a revolution and just think I didn't even know it!!! LOL

I think it's fine to color your grays. In fact, I soon may do so myself if they keep multiplying at the current rate!

I think that as long as we teach our young girls and ladies the value of our inner selves and the source of our inner beauty, then the outer appearance just won't matter as much. Taking care of our bodies as temples is one thing. I'm not saying we all have to boycott ever using eyeliner and hairspray. But, we need to point these next-generation women in the right direction, where they can learn from the Father what true beauty looks like...

I too struggle with the gray or stay complex. I do not wear makeup and have seldom done so in my 48 years. I am young in spirit and the only people telling me to dye my hair is my kids. So I think I will stay gray for awhile longer.

I know how you feel. But it is nice to see women who are making themselves beautiful despite the appearance of signs of aging. It is not that we have to compete with younger ones, it is to show them that we are also capable of being their role models no matter what the age may be. You can visit my blog if you have time. Please go to http://greatrome.blogspot.com. Thanks a lot for the inspiring message you wrote. Mina

Brilliant! Thanks Holly, as a fellow 'anti-beauty-pressure' person, (just going grey myself in case you were wondering) - I think it's real important to have role models for girls that don't entail making yourself up to be something you are not. I'm very happy with who I am, and am not particularly phased by looking my age either - but then I am blessed with a job that isn't likely to judge me on my hair colour!

Way to go Holly!

I am 38 and have been a slave to the color regimen since 25, I have had white hair since 18. I do not wear make-up or follow every trend that pops out of the fashion industry so coloring was my only concession to "doing myself up."

Six months ago I decided that I wanted to see just how much of my mane has turned this interesting white color -- most of it.

So now there are three white hairs for every dark brown one. I think it's striking. It's softened my features which I like and it's very natural. My husband likes it, which is good for him because I wasn't about to color it. I have gotten compliments on it which threw me for a loop and there have been a couple of ladies I know who have tried to insult me back to coloring my hair. I figure that I'm doing something they only wish they could do otherwise they wouldn't care so much, it's my hair not theirs.

I just have to let my hair grow out another inch and I will be able to cut out the last of the colored hair. I'm looking foward to it, it's very liberating.

Another lesser reason was so that people would think I'm older because I have been getting the "you're not old enough to have a daughter X age." Well, I do and I obviously am. Odd thing is that even with the white I still get that comment.

So who says we have to accept that gray/white means dumpy for women? Some of the most beautiful women I've see have full white manes!

I liked this article, it made me laugh and appreciate the honesty we can have between Christian sisters today. I too am a "low-maintenance gall" and agree that real beauty comes from the inside however there is nothing wrong with sprucing up the outside (the temple of the Holy Spirit). After 20+years of little to no makeup I am enjoying a little now and then and have successfully dyed out the gray this past year and I love it. My husband enjoys the new-look. And in 10 years he can have me as the "white haired lady" I shall probably be by then!! As a final note, I am conscious of the attitudes that can arise ..pride...vanity..ect..ect...thats why it's good to stay in the Word and check those emotions daily :)

I totally loved your story. I agree what makes you feel better about as you age is ok. What I love is how you feel inside, what God is doing inside of me shows up on our faces. God Bless

Your dyed or not dyed hair has to be connected with holiness... consecration to God, not a matter of beauty versus dowdiness. The first few sentences and the last few sentences of your article say all that needs to be said... you will conform to the world, not be set apart (consecrated). You may feel I am judging you and continue to think that if you'd like but there isn't anything... that can keep me from being DISTINCTLY marked as being separate from the world. It is all we have in a crazy, upside down world bent on wanting to look good.

Right now my hair is dyed. I have been going back and forth on the hair dying issue. I decided that when I turn forty that I'll go natural. I do not enjoy seeing 60+ year old ladies with unnaturally black hair next to their gray haired husbands. They just don't look right.

Holly says: Thanks for all the interesting, thoughtful, and personal comments. I echo Christina in saying I "appreciate the honesty we can have between Christian sisters today."

Holly says: Joaquinrose, I'm not certain of the point you're trying to make.

Perhaps you're trying to say we're to give ourselves completely to God. I would agree with that, though I'd say we can only try to give ourselves completely to God. I believe we're incapable of giving ourselves completely to God at his standard of completeness, because that's equivalent to stating we're totally obedient, and thus never sin.

The other conclusion I might draw from your comment is you feel beauty is irrelevant. I'd disagree with that. Beauty was created by God and is evident in the world around us. Yet we can't recognize beauty as God does--because we didn't create it. We can only attempt to (poorly) imitate it.

I believe an appreciation of beauty--or, at least, our best guess of what beauty is--is an appreciation of God's power and ability. The problem arises when we worship beauty instead of the One who created it. I believe our society pursues beauty, among other things, because it longs to be connected with God and all those higher things he has created.

I don't feel judged by you. We know it's God who justifies (Romans 8:33). I guess we all feel judged at times, but it would do us good to cast those feelings off, since human judgments don't have any bearing on how God sees us.

It does seem you are making a value judgement here, as you use yourself as the standard by which to be measured ("there isn't anything ... that can keep me from being DISTINCTLY marked as being separate from the world."). I would encourage you to expand on your ideas about societal ideas of beauty by making direct comparisons with Scripture rather than your personal standards.

Throughout my life, God has used well-intentioned Christian sisters to convict me, set me straight, and grow me. I'm thankful for the readers on this website who post thoughtful comments. God can use these to get us all thinking about the plans he has for us.

Ouch. I grew up wanting a beautiful mane of auburn hair, streaked with silver. I was DETERMINED to never dye my hair. And then the gray came. It's an ugly, steely gray! So I dye. Originally I told myself that I would stop when I hit 40. That's next week, thank you very much. And this gray makes me feel ugly and conspicuous. My mane is supposed to be my womanly glory, and girls, this ugly gray is NOT glorious.

It's hair, for Pete's sake. At this point I take the same stance with my hair that I do with my children's hair - it's not permanent (anything I do can be grown out) and I'm not doing anything ugly or offensive. In addition, my husband likes it dyed (my body is his body) and I'm not living under the Law concerning my hair.

And yes, I do sometimes feel I caved. But I don't feel shame. I feel glorious.

Thanks for this piece, Holly!

It made me smile and reminded me of a literary exchange my best friend and I had in our book, Walk with Me: Two Friends on a Spiritual Journey. I waxed on about how I'll never pluck any of my grays, as I've 'earned' each one! She wrote the following poem:

I WILL DIE

A silver halo to crown her head
"I will not dye!" she claims.
She knows her roots hold seeds of truth
In a culture where Ageism reigns

But I've plucked the first, the tenth, the twelfth,
I've covered with blonde and red.
My hair reads like a headline too:
"I'll dye until I'm dead!"

His Grace can wash my silver strays
Permeating through.
And really, we all die in the end,
So what's my head to you?

Thanks for this blog!

Peace and Joy to you,

Sally Miller

This reminds me of a saying I heard from a speaker at our church. She was a very funny, vibrant, Jesus-loving woman. She was talking about her hair and made the comment "If the barn needs painting, paint it!". I have seen too many women who equate frumpy and plain with holiness. I color my hair a couple shades lighter than the real thing, and have for years, and I wear makeup. Last year, at the age of 53, I got braces on my teeth; something I had dreamed of doing for years. My 62 year old husband thinks it's wonderful! Too often we worry too much about what other people think, what will I look like, etc. instead of holding on to Jesus' hand and pursuing and enjoying the life He has for us!

I would disagree that we're in a "youth oriented" society. It seems we're shifting to a "be your best self" society, as evidenced by the media itself. If you're 20, be the best 20 you can be. If you're 60, embrace and enjoy it. Color if YOU want to color. Go gray if YOU want to go gray. The idea of beauty is expanding, and I applaud all women's willingness to explore what makes them beautiful on THEIR terms.

As a makeup artist in New York, its my job to help women present their best face to the world without freaky implants and needles of Botox. All women are beautiful. Some just don't know it yet.

Holly

Just checking your posts from time to time-- I love the diversity and relevance of your topics. You keep me SO interested. Not that I should commend or burden you, but when I'm seeking a few minutes of devotion with Our Great and Wonderful God, I like to look at what you've been writing. You are a talented writer.

So far, no gray hairs. How about early wrinkles though?! When is that article coming?

Love you,
Racquel

Holly says: Sally Miller, I thoroughly enjoyed the poem. Thanks so much for sharing it here.

Amber, thanks so much for your comment--that's the kind of deep-thinking disagreement I love to see. I live in the vicinity of Beverly Hills, Hollywood, and the beach cities, so my perspective is slanted by seeing lots of youth-seekers who go to great surgical lengths to look like they're 20. A friend commented about this just yesterday. She'd been walking around Beverly Hills and saw women in their 50s, 60, and 70s who could "pull off" looking 20 from a distance because of the work they'd had done. In my neighborhood, looking your best means looking your youngest. I guess this extreme youth-oriented culture isn't found everywhere, but I think it's safe to say films and TV do reflect it.

Love this quote, Amber, and hope lots of women will think about it:

"All women are beautiful. Some just don't know it yet."

I just turned 41, and started dying my hair 4 years ago. It was mostly to get some highlights, but now has turned to a combo highlights/hide the gray.

I find getting older very hard, call it my vanity if you want, but I am trying to adjust and accept getting older.

I think I will likely continue to dye my hair until it's overwhelmingly grey, then I will start to do nice grey rinses to it to make it a nice grey.

Seeing the signs of aging on my face is more troublesome to me than seeing new greys.

I wanted to say; I think that if we picked 5 people to give an opinion on a certain subject, that we would probably get 5 differing opinons.
the most important thing we need to ask ourselves as christians is; are we representing God in the best possible way? and are we laying a stumbling block for other's? God does say that the most important beauty should come from within, but HE doesn't say that there is something wrong with outer beauty. I believe that how we dress our selves up on the out side should be just as important as the inside.
It should be pleasing to the LORD.

Peter writes that true beauty should come from the inside and we should reflect the light of the Lord that radiates from the Holy Spirit in the heart. But that does not exclude maintaining the Temple. We should keep our Temple up as part of our witness. Being a Christian does not mean looking like you don't care about yourself. If we feel good on the inside it should reflect on the outside. Many Christians are margianalized because the act marginally. If you are to represent Christ show some care for your personal appearance. Many Christian woman dress poorly and look like a bunch of Raggedy Ann's. Wear a dress, hosery, a little makeup and fix your hair. Christian Men are tired of Christain Woman who dress like truck drivers. Stop using excuses to cover your laziness in keeping yourself up. Also, I am tired of Christian men who look like dorks. Men, get a haircut, shave your scraggly beards, and stop wearing white socks with your dress clothes. Also, through the fruit loops (sandels) away. Wear clothes that are ironed. Start looking like men instead of lost little boys. There is nothing in the new testement that says we as Christians should look like bums. If you are to represent Christ take some pride in your personal apperaance.

Holly says Gato, I have to disagree with you. I don't think Jesus would have endorsed a dress code. He was probably pretty scraggly himself, being essentially homeless and a man who spent his life walking around outdoors in a dusty place. John the Baptist, who ate locusts, surely had to be pretty scraggly, and I'd imagine the disciples and the OT prophets were not the most presentable guys. Yet, their words were heard.

Ruth worked out in the fields. She was focused on survival, so she probably didn't primp much. Laboring makes a gal sweaty and gives her rough hands and dirty fingernails, yet Boaz noticed Ruth's good heart. Conversely, Esther was noticed for her extraordinary beauty, and God was able to use her good looks to save his people.

All to say, God can use different looking folks for his glory. Sometimes he uses a scraggly appearance. I once asked a homeless man whether he believed in God. "Of course I believe in God," he exclaimed. "You'd have to be stupid to not believe in God!" The words weren't profound, but they've stuck with me because of the source. Every day, those words challenge me to love and worship God despite my circumstances. I'm sure those words wouldn't have had much impact if they'd come from a clean-shaven guy dressed in a pressed suit.

We have an ongoing in fun debate going amongst the ladies at our church about dying our hair. As you can imagine, opinions are as varied as we are! For myself, ever since I can remember I have admired first my great grandmother's beautiful silver hair, then my grandmother's and now my mother's. I hope someday mine will be as beautiful as theirs.
I am 53 and sporting some gray streaks which I wouldn't trade for a bottle dye. I really like them! I want my daughter and granddaughters to feel comfortable with their changing bodies and not dying my hair goes a long way toward helping them appreciate themselves. I think if they can see I'm comfortable with my body they will (hopefully) feel comfortable with theirs.

You gals might think you are aging like fine wine in you own mind but you may be turning to vinegar. James Dobson reports that the divorce rate among evangelicals is 60 percent, which is 10 percent higher than the national average.

Real men want their woman to look soft and feminine. Why do you think there is so much divorce and Christian men looking at porn. There is a fine line in the appearance of so called low maintenance Christian Girls than all the librarian dogroomers out there.

You gals need less Kay Arthur and more Marabel Morgan.

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For some reason, I absolutely HATE the concept of hair coloring. Part of it is the fact that brunettes are made to feel less pretty than blondes & redheads. After all, until recently, you didn't really hear about people TURNING brunette! Another reason is the fact that I have NEVER seen my mother's natural hair color. She hit the bottle (so to speak) around the time I was born (her 6th child). So, I promised myself that I would not go the bottle route.

One day, when I was around 30 (I'm 43 now), I was taking a walk with my mother and my aunt, her sister. All of a sudden, my aunt stopped short, and yelled, "Karen!"

I yelled back, using the same tone, "What!"

She responded, "You have grey hairs!" She then called to my mother, "Theresa! Come see this!"

At this point, both of them are going through my hair. Now, mind you, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE people touching my hair, so I'm loving this, until they really started to comment on the few greys I have.

My mother then said, "Well, you have to start coloring now."

Being contrary by nature (Is there such thing as a contrary-chronic-rule-follower?) I turned to my mother and said, "Excuse me, I don't "HAVE" to do anything!"

It wasn't long after that incident that I was reading the Bible and found my ultimate piece of ammunition for the whole hair-coloring thing:

Proverbs 16:31:
Gray hair is a crown of splendor;
it is attained by a righteous life.

I still haven't touched hair coloring. BTW, you REALLY don't want to get me started on colored contact lenses!!! :)

Holly says: K.C., thanks so much for sharing! Your post made me smile, and in particular, I had a good laugh over "hit the bottle."

Don't get me started on colored contact lenses, either. I almost passed over my husband when I met him because I thought his eyes seemed unnaturally green--and I thought it odd that he would choose to wear both colored contacts AND regular glasses. Turns out those brilliant greens were the real deal. Good thing the good Lord had me take a second look!

i am 30, i have had gray hair since i was 14, i have been dyeing my hair that long and will keep dyeing my hair as long as i can afford it. i also wear light make up and nail polish. i feel better about myself when i am done up. when i am not done up even my family can tell something is wrong i just dont feel like myself. i dont pick at people who do more or who do less. i just do it myself to feel better for me. i have a twiny who has also had the gray hair just as long and dose nonthing with it. she also wont touch make up or nail polish. she says being all done up like that makes her feel like someone else. my grandma dyed her hair untill her first great grandchild was born, said it felt like time to stop. there are many reasons to use it and many to not use it. we just have to not be mean no matter what ones choice is.

I agree. This was a very nice read!


Later
John Mathers
Anti Aging Skin Products
http://www.antiagingskinproducts.net

One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when I walked into the house, he followed me, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour.
This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap. "
The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with ten children - he's trying to catch up on his sleep."

I cried from laughter
Sorry, if not left a message on Rules.

Today I spotted my first two gray hairs!
You can read my thoughts on that milestone if you'd like at:
http://makingjesusmypearl.blogspot.com/2009/03/gray-hair-today-i-welcome-it.html

Proverbs 16:31
"Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life."