Funny how the Spirit works.

I was just reading today one of the findings of a study of 1,500 couples:
“Most women do not understand how much it pleases a man to please a woman, specifically how important it is to the man in her life to please her. Furthermore, a man does not simply want to please her—he lives to please her.”

I have been mulling: How does a woman show a man that she is pleased? By two little words: Thank you. Gratitude. "In everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

Furthermore, the study concluded:
“What women often interpret as withdrawn, uncaring men, for the most part, are men overwhelmed by the criticism and unhappiness coming from their partners.”

Oh, Abba Father, how is my seemingly innocuous discontent and ingratitude undermining my marriage?

May I, like you, practice joyful gratitude and thank my husband.
Two words: Thank you.
Free. Always in stock.
And radically, maritally transforming!

What fun to read another woman's journey. It must give God great joy to watch us blossom under his tender and gentle care. I appreciate the patience and willingness to please me in 1001 ways - foot rubs each night since my firstborn arrived 27 years ago... tea in bed each evening... kindnesses undeserved and not always appreciated until girlfriends ask, "Does this wonderful man have a brother?!"

30 years after our marriage, he's become my prince charming. I'm glad we waded through the difficulties over the years to become a couple deeply in love and serving God together.
www.xanga.com/rosemee1

Ann--
What a great comment! Thank you for posting it.
NK

Uh oh. I guess I can learn to let the top sheet face out instead of in. ;)

Excellent post. I plan to exercise my free use of those words as often as I can. Thank YOU for the reminder!

Wow--this is so important for women to understand! And most of us don't. Those of us who came of age in the 60's and 70's and were subjected to so much feminist propaganda heard just the opposite. How destructive that was to our marriages and relationships.

But from much reading and teaching, I have learned that this is true - simple, consistent, voiced gratitude will go a long way to improving our marriages --Tell our daughters and all the women we know!

Gratitude is a biblical Christ-directed concept that we should practice in all ways, but most especially to appreciate the men that God has sent us.

My ex-husband is like that. I'm not sloppy by any stretch of the imagination, I've raised three sons. But nothing I did, either around the house, yard or for either family was correct or good enough. He never said "thank you", "I love you". I finally took my life back, with all of the "flaws", moved out and moved on.

So grateful 4 ds in sight. But it is not always easy to interprete many of the men's actions. God's grace will nonetheless see us through and give us rewarding, joyous and fulfilling marriages

I seeking for any christian woman to write me please on falcon8765( at )hotmail.com

I never was excited about cooking. I cooked, but it was only so my family wouldn't gripe (or starve). My husband, on the other hand, loved to cook. He would turn the kitchen upside down and at times I'd get really peeved with the messes he made with spilled food dried on the stove or grease dripping down the front of the cabinets. He was 46 years old when he passed away last year. My kitchen is unnaturally clean and eerily quiet. And, I miss him desperately.

While I'm not saying that being like that is not a good thing, my ex-husband is like that. I'm not sloppy by any stretch of the imagination, I've raised three sons. But nothing I did, either around the house, yard or for either family was right, correct or good enough. Those two or three free words "Thank You" or I Love You" were never heard from him. I finally took my life back, with all of the "flaws", moved out and moved on.

For years, when my husband would offer to help me with something that I was doing, I would snap "Do you think I can't do it?" He would always reply "No, I just wanted to help" or "No, I just don't want to see you fall and get hurt".

As you can imagine, just his thought that I might fall and get hurt "meant" that he doubted my ability to successfully complete my current project.

It wasn't until 4 years ago when I was diagnosed with ADHD and began taking medication that I was able to see the intention behind his offers and I will never forget the first time that he realized my new found enlightenment.

I had gone to JCPenney Outlet store for some curtains and when I came home was going to hang them. As I stood on the couch to remove the curtain rod, he said "If you want to wait a few minutes, I will help you do that" then immediately through his hands into surrender position and said "But I know that you can do it".

I remember looking at his hands kind of strangely as I replied "I know. You just don't want me to fall or get hurt. I can wait". Needless to say, he had to pick his jaw up off of the floor.

This is me, too. Thank you for sharing.

As a divorced woman, now dating, I can sadly say that I didn't thank my ex when I should have. Many things he did were unappreciated or taken for granted. Thanks for this article, I hope I will be more in tune with this relationship.

I am 39 and my husband of 18 years is 60. God blessed us with each other at a time neither was looking, and through a most unlikely place - we met in the Army National Guard. We are the parents of a highly-functioning Autistic son, whose small achievements put everything in perspective for both of us. I am not highly particular. Our house is clean enough for those that live in it most of the time. Honestly, we live every day as if we don't have tomorrow, because we really don't know if we do. One thing we insist on - we spend as much time together as possible, and say I love you before leaving each other, if that has to happen. I was just brought through thyroid cancer by the grace of God, and truly value and treasure each day and each person in my life for what they can teach me. The house and yard will be here to clean and mow after I am gone, and if not, so be it.
Live in love, my friends, live in love.

I'm not married yet but I thought this was a beautiful post. I have come to realize how much men love to be appreciated and not criticized. I read an article on this site called "Worth Dying For" and it brought it home how beautiful a relationship can be if we appreciate the little things.

I'm 26, single. I thank God for this post, even for those who gave their comments. God bless the men in our lives.

Blessings,

Korah

Thank you for this post :). I'm not married yet, but my boyfriend (who is cleaner than I but in some ways less particular) is such a kind-hearted example to me of how our husbands (or future husbands) want to please us. I am praying that I can always let him see me light up when he does something for me, and that he will always be able to receive appreciation and satisfaction for the things he does around the house. When I recently moved and went on a flight on the same day, he did most of the house work and I really was so amazed (more so because he is from a culture where men do less housework than in America). When I expressed surprise that he does not know how to cook very much, when we were first dating, he began to learn. His whipping cream nearly turned into butter, and he was hard on himself about this little detail - but I made sure that he knew that it was the best whipping cream I had ever tasted, because he made it for me, and especially because it showed me his heart to please me! I still smile whenenver I think of it! Now he loves to surprise me and learn new things - and it is doubly important that I don´t crush his spirit, as some of those new things are crucial for survival - like English. :) But I am also going to let him teach me things... like his way of cleaning the house!

thank you for what you shared... I thought I was one of a kind ... finicky about every lil thing around the house... so much so that we had a house and not a home.

Now, I've learnt to slow down, let the sheets gets rumpled and the towel crumpled.... but hallelujah... we have a home filled with love and easy laughter !

thank you for what you shared... I thought I was one of a kind ... finicky about every lil thing around the house... so much so that we had a house and not a home.

Now, I've learnt to slow down, let the sheets gets rumpled and the towel crumpled.... but hallelujah... we have a home filled with love and easy laughter !

I have just met the most incredible christian man and I am so excited to see what God has in store for us. As I begin my journey with him, I will take this advise and be sure to always let him know how incredible he makes me feel and how grateful I am for him! Thank you ladies!

Are any of you Pastor's Wives?

It's my first time to be here, and am I so glad to be able to read christian women's blogs and feel blessed. I'll be visiting here often. Thanks ladies! God bless us all.

I'm a mom of six, who has a crazy idea that the house must be perfectly clean at all times! This frustration built in me until finally I found myself in a hospital for 5 days, away from my family- realizing how much I loved them and , wanted to be home with them (messy or not) One thing that one of the doctors told me was to learn a saying "It's good enough" and I have used that saying over and over again, at times when I feel I just have to fold one more load of laundry or mop one more floor, but my 2 year old wants me to play with him..."it's good enough" the mess will still be there after I get back inside from playing in the yard with the one who really needs my attention, (even if my mother in law does pop over unexpectantly..."it's good enough")

I'm a mom of six, who has a crazy idea that the house must be perfectly clean at all times! This frustration built in me until finally I found myself in a hospital for 5 days, away from my family- realizing how much I loved them and , wanted to be home with them (messy or not) One thing that one of the doctors told me was to learn a saying "It's good enough" and I have used that saying over and over again, at times when I feel I just have to fold one more load of laundry or mop one more floor, but my 2 year old wants me to play with him..."it's good enough" the mess will still be there after I get back inside from playing in the yard with the one who really needs my attention, (even if my mother in law does pop over unexpectantly..."it's good enough")

This is my first time viewing all of the interesting articles on this web page.It is so wonderful to know that we can, come and be free spirits,speaking from our hearts.And also have a voice to share our experiences.I will continue to visit.Thank you,Mary

I think this entry is life saving. a breath of fresh air. Lord, grant me wisdom to uplift and encourage the men in my life. Thanks ladies, for sharing your wisdom :)