I find this so hard to do.
My ex left me 1 month before the wedding. Previously, he'd already left, and had come back, even doing things to make me truly believe, and have faith that he was serious this time round.
But still, after giving that amount of trust n faith to him, he's left a bigger wound in my soul, by leaving jsut a month before our wedding.
And now, he's seeing someone else, so soon after.
How does one forgive a person so cruel?
I've been trying, praying. Some days it seems i have forgiven, but other days, i'm back down to being depressed, and thinking suicidal thoughts.
Just how, do i forgive someone, who's destroyed me.

I learned about forgiveness a long time ago that it frees me from bitterness. God will judge those who have wronged me; I can trust Him to do that. And I can walk in the freedom of forgiveness. What a relief not to have to play God!

Blessings,
Cheri

A friend shared the following story - When she learned that her husband, who had died during surgery, was clearly a victim of malpractice, she called her pastor. "This horrible thing happened, and God says I have to forgive the ones who did it." she said. "I don't think he meant this minute." replied the pastor. From this I learned that forgiveness means not nurturing the anger, hurt and grief. They won't necessarily vanish instantly, but without nourishment and with God's help they will fade over time. Forgiving is not the same as ignoring, or forgetting.

This is really good. I've been struggling this past year to forgive someone who I deeply cared for. I'm constantly giving my anger and unforgiving heart over to the Lord and He constantly gives me peace. I can lay hold of Phil 4:6-8.

Forgiveness heals a broken soul but it is not easy to practise. How can i forgive my ex who left me dying in bed and disapeared out of the country. Anyway,the lord has healed me and though i have forgiven him i will never go back to him.

R,
I really feel for you, to have put so much trust in the "man" you expected to marry & live happily ever afterwards ! but I can't trust a liar, can you ??
Refocus on the True & Faithful Shepherd instead ... reading the Bible helps me realize there is One Who loves me so much, He died for ME & loves me eternally & will provide all my needs. We read "the hand of man WILL fail you, but the LORD never will !"
David's Psalms begin with fear as he looks at the terrible problem, fleeing for his life from the King, but always ends with him praising God for past deliverances as he chooses to trust God's plan for his life is being worked out, in God's perfect timing.
In the light of that promise from our faithful God & heavenly Father, ask for His grace & power to help you forgive this person as many times as necessary, before it becomes a reality for you. Thank God He didn't allow this to happen after you were married & had children to bring up.. I look on it as a deliverance from worst case heart-break.
Have a big hug, with much encouragement to keep your eyes upon Jesus ! true lover of your soul !
from J. xo

i know it was hard to forgive, but it is wiser to say i forgive you and move on with your life instead of holding on to your grudges for long time. if you hold on to it, it would cause health problems.

R,
Be glad he did this instead of marrying you and then doing it or being unfaithful in marriage. It's so hard to understand why these things happen, but don't let it make you bitter. You are better than that and you are worth too much to let someone do that to you. Give yourself time to grieve this loss and you will find in time it hurts less and less. Turn to God, forgive and take care of you. Something better will be right around the corner eventhough you don't think so now.

One of the things to remember is Forgiveness is not so much about the other person then what is more is for your self is releasing that person from a just Prison that we hold someone to be because of the pain they cause, by releasing them we release our selfs.

We love people hoping that this is done in return, even do people fail you it doesn't mean you can't trust someone again. Think about sexual abuse victim.

How healing in their hurts begin when they forgive and are able to begin a better life.

Your life is valuable in God's eyes, We are his beloved. We matter.

Trust that pain will only be for a time.
In weakness God makes us strong. Remember that even Jesus was rejected by his own.

When we forgive, The love comes out from us to love our self. Remember one someone leaves us. Is not because we are not special it is because deep in side they are missing something.

and if they are un happy they can not make anyone happy either.

I speak by experience, I had to learn to forgive.

i'm near tears with this article. i moved out of my parents house after my father hit me... i grow up to his physical and psychological abuses. this time i've had enough...it hurts because we claim to be in Christian home. i find it hard to forgive him at first...after a tearful prayer i gave it up all to God. I'm hitting the road on my own now. I can say i don't have the anger and hate anymore. i thank God for the strength...

My husband and I were in the ministry 25 years ago and he had an affair with our best friends in the church. I was pregnant at the time with our first child and he left me. I was determined to forgive and God has so blessed my life!! It is worth it. God will give back more than what was stolen from you!!

God forgives me so I need to forgive other's and "try" to be more like God and be forgiving. Humans struggle with the reality of forgiving honestly I believe. Especially when someone affects the rest of your life by their greed or lies, or unfaithfulness. It happend to me 20 years ago and its still a memory that I ask God to help me forgive and forget. My husband was caught by me with my step mother weeks after my father's funeral. And my husband and I had a little baby that was 3 months old. That baby is now 20 years old and I still feel God helping me through the forgiving process of it all. Give it up and Give it to God !! It's time to move on and stop hurting over it all.
God is good and HE does help us because HE knows our hearts ! Keeping the Faith and Forgivness always, Laurie

Dear R, You are really hurting. I'm sorry you have had such a bad experience. It takes time. You are just grieving a sad loss. Grieving takes time. It takes about 2 years or less to process through. But you are not crazy. You will be OK. Just like you go to a Medical Doctor to check out problems it worked for me to do a 6 months counceling time for my grief. I do check ups a couple times a year just like the medical thing. Look up grief on the internet and books. Knowledge brings understanding and patience. You are normal. You are going to be OK. Sometime along here it helps to say I'm willing to forgive. Then give God time to work out the details. He is so faithful. To think of sucide is to feel like you are in a corner with no options. My dear R you have have the strength to reach out to the God of Hope and let that facet of God do His thing. I care.

through out my walk as a christian,i have known hurts and betryals from very close persons and its not been easy to forgive.But i learnt recently that when we do nt forgive,we imprison ourselves and are alienated from God because when we do not forgive others ,God cannot forgive us and this affects our walk with him.So ,we must forgive,for the sake of our relationship with our God.

Dear r,

the Lord bless you! May he defend you and speak for you as you forgive....

Love,
Marie

hello R.

I was in love with a man when i was 24 years old and believe me it was one of the best feelings in the world but soon he left , came back and left again after promising me marriage.

According to him his family believed i was not good enough. i thought of suiside so many times but what i have come to realise is that God is closer to us than we think He made us and understands our frility.

Trust Him to work you through the healing process. He did it for me and i know He is not a respecter of man, He would do the same for you too if you only allow Him to. 12 years down the line, and being married to a wonderful man for 9 years i thank God for not allowing the relationship to work, am sure you would too

He has a plan and purpose for everthing

Wow, i really feel for the women here, I have been the one who has hurt someone, and is in need of forgiveness. I can't imagine what I would do if God did not forgive me. I also know forgiveness, does not mean He releases wrong.God judges sin. You're just not in the way or in the wrong when He does it. We've all done wrong, some more that others. and remember God knows everything. even the bad things He allows for whatever reason He is soveriegn. Not saying God causes sin, but we live in a Fallen world He doesn't cause it, He knows how to make us stronger through it. when people leave sometimes its their own fault, sins they've committed, but God is ultimately in control. Let them LEAVE. What belongs to you belongs to you. I had a man I loved leave, but it was God's lesson and His blessing. I wont behave that way or make those kind of decisions again. God gave me a blessing by him going. I will have a faithful husband now, I just couldn't see that then and I wasn't the right character. People do die,but we are precious in His sight..Thank Him you have life...God is sovereign over death, His will will be accomplished, one way or another. mourn yes, grieve, but God doesn't want us giving up on Him. Because this is not all there is..and one day He will wipe every tear away. Look forward to what is to come...God Bless