This truly struck a cord with me. I have tried for several years to give up my fear of getting fat. As a child I was twice as big as all the kids in my class and it remained that way until junior year when I lost a lot of weight and the boys started growing taller. Kids made fun of me and snickered behind my back. Needless to say I grew up with a complex. I never have overcome the way I was treated even though I strived to keep my weight off and did everything I could think of to make myself more beautiful. I always enjoyed going to the reunions so that I could let everyone see how good I looked and how now they were the ones that were fat and unkept. I have prayed about this so much and just when I think I have it licked, vanity raises it's ugly head again, if a gain a few lbs. or look in the mirror and see more wrinkles everyday. God loved me even when I was a fat ugly kid and he still loves me now even though I am a vain old women of 65 now. I do believe with my continued prayer on this matter God will conquer my vain spirit and put it to rest.

Dear sister Jane,
I am Nona from Armenia, currently work and live in Uzbekistan, how I think - I am a commitet Cristhian, loving our Lord Jesus Christ, but reading your article, I have found, the idols in my life, even it is just reading something else what does not makes your life closer to God, who is waiting you to be closer and closer to Him. We are chasing the wind...
May our Lord keep you and guide you my dear sister, actually my prayers are for everyone who is a stone of the church, Jesus will take His bride-us- if we are really eager that white closes on Bride be as white as better than snow...
I am a music teacher in international school on Tashkent, sometimes my heart is full of sorrow due to idols i am surrounded by, just want cry out and say , " Oh Lord, come!"
God bless,
Thank you
Nona

hi
i can fully relate with the struggle of wanting to be beautiful. All my life this has been an issue, a complex i grew up with because too. I have experienced how God worked in my life too especially in this area. He has taught me time and time again to fix my eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen, for what is seen is temporal and what is unseen is eternal. I've had many victorious days, struggle-free days when He alone consumed me. But there are still times when deep down in me, i still want to have the look i desire. Sometimes i wonder, would God ever grant what my wish? would he really change me inside and out? maybe ....or maybe not. Right now, I can only yield to him and ask for his grace to fill me. I pray too that God would finally put an end to this long time struggle and that He'd do whatever it takes to free me from this sin called vanity.

I am Anita from Toronto. I can so much relate to that! Vanity - how much time can we spend on useless things? Why do I care so much about how I look? I did not when I was younger. I cave a neighbor, she is my age. And she is size 4, blond and beautiful. Because I want to be like her, I developed a complex. I am 49! I have not had this complex before I moved to be her neighbor. through your article and discussion the Lord showed me that I can develop a complex at older age! Look out sisters! Let us keep our eyes on the Lord. We came to this world naked (and wrinkle free) and will go naked (covered with wrinkles) to receive a new body! With much love.
Anita

Thank you- vanity is a problem for me, too. I fight it constanly. Jesus did not say how to defeat it- a modern term that is used is narcissm. Part of the journey I have is to recognize this. God bless you- vanity seldom preached about; this is a flaw I think we all share. Writing about it took God given courage.

All the ladies' comments are so sweet and sincere. I think we all have to work on this because it can be so subtle. We're so use to all the things of the world that try to fit into our lives. Loving Jesus above all should be our focus and let Him show us how to live our lives. Not letting the world show us.
Thank you all for your gracious comments.
jamie

How timely. I just finished my quiet time and in my notebook I cried out to God to take my self loathing away. I know my weight issue is vanity, and I have struggled with this for far too long. I pray all of us who struggle with this can let this form of pride go. May it be so, Lord, may it be so.

I don't know of any one who is not vain that has been born in sin and shapened in iniquity. For all have sinned and come short of the glory of GOD. While we were yet sinners, GOD sent HIS SON JESUS CHRIST to die for us. GOD did not wait for us to get ourselves right with HIM; HE already the impossibility of that so HE did what HE does best; HE gave us HIS best for the worst state that we were in without JESUS CHRIST.
If we would but remember: If my people who are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and seek my face,and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven; and will forgive their sin, and heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14 GOD has not changed HIS mind about what HE desires of HIS children.

It is so sad that our society has caused generations of women to feel unsatisfied with how we look. My 73 yr. old mother feels it, my two daugters age 17 & 22, and of course myself...age 49. For me, part of it was growing up hearing negative comments from my Dad about my appearance, but truly, in this day and age, we are bombarded to always look better. I am so tired of the battle! I told my husband once I don't think there could be any sweeter words than "Don't lose another pound!" That is amusing, and also sad. I have let God help me with this issue from time to time, and more and more, over time, thankfully. By most people's standards, I am an attractive person, and not heavy. But the thing that helps me is when I realize how much time is wasted in our life over this matter. There are so many more things we can and should devote ourselves and our time to! Think of all the hours in nail salons, and spas, and hair salons, etc. SO MUCH TIME! There is so much to do, and so many hurting people to devote our time to. I enjoyed the other women's comments so much. We must all pray for help in this area!

Hello Jane,

I thank God for leading me to read your article. I can relate to what you have mentioned about the thought of "There's no way I'm vain"....Reading your article made me realize that I am vain when I start to worry too much about my physical appearance. It also helped me in refocusing my thoughts on what God thinks of me as a person, rather than what I think of myself. Whatever I or other people think of me, I am already beautiful in HIS sight! And that is very comforting! So, if I put a dab of cosmetics on my face, it just enhances the beauty that he has already made; or, if I pay attention to my physical nourishment, I do it as a token of my love to take care of the body that HE has entrusted me.

I, too, struggle with idols and certainly NOT because of my appearance or weight! Years and physical challenges have taken care of those idols, but I think anything that keeps our attention away from God is an idol. My pain and my physical challenges do that. What about the many kinds of medication I need to take and the times I need to take them? I feel like I am constantly thinking about something I ned to do for me! Thanking the Lord for loving me anyway and just the way I am helps me focus on Him even as I think about me! I wish I could DO more for Him, but I have no excuse for not thinking about Him more and communicating with Him more than I do! Guilty as charged, but trying to reform!

Dr Phill's self-proclaimed profession actually originated in the Garden of Eden when Satan attacked Eve. (study the mind games he played) There is much Scripture dealing with NOT analyzing our past to determine our "woulda, shoulda, coulda" decisions in life. To the contrary, Jesus is my Counselor, not people of this world (or deceived christians) who hold to a "power" that is not of Christ. It is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict us of sin, not some worldy way that originated with Satan, and that people use to do away with God.
To this point, I challenge you to show me just one scripture where it tells us to adhere to the teachings, principalities and powers of this world>

I think there are many of us who long to be free of this sin, Nica (it's a very female thing to want to beautiful.... and thin!), but I think we will never be truly free of it this side of heaven. I am less consumed now by my appearance than I was 15 years ago, but I think that's more a consequence of having met and married a man who loves me well than of any real progress on my part. I do love God more now than then, and the more time goes by, the more I understand how fleeting our life is and how "vain" it is to want to be perfect here. Maybe God is changing me a bit after all... :)

A very thoughtful and thought provoking exploration. I'd never connected vanity with idols before but of course! I struggle constantly in my work with that fine balance of inspiring without thinking I did it myself.

This past week was full and rewarding, with presenting workshops and a request to take on an important church office. Sadly, I admit to patting my own back just a little too much. Your post made me stop mid-pat and take a closer look.

My prayer this week will be for the Holy Spirit to keep me mindful that all I bring to the table is the willingness to be used. It's God's work that I do, not my own and the glory is His.

Thank you again for this reminder.

I understand the idols issue but is God uncomfortable with us when we overeat and the pounds begin to show. Is it being vain if you want to look good for our Savior and Lord.

I am struggling with keeping trim. I eat way too much and is concerned that this is a demon of gluttony that has taken over my life. I struggle to maintain my weight. I feel so out of place when the excess weight comes on. I do not think this is being vain at all. Our Lord wants us to look our best.

It's so delightful to find that no matter where you are from,which distant ends, you have people who share your shortcomings, concerns, anxieties. Putting on weight , losing weight are all too familiar concerns of women all over the world!All is vanity.
How often I have found other occupations and pastimes taking up the time I should be spending with God.
Incidentally, must say Ms Jane used good attention grabbing techniques. . atleast it grabbed my attention. Perhaps because I spend too much time on facebook!

To answer the listed questions: Yes, I have to admit I'm vain, because I find myself far more occupied with myself than with God and His glory. The word "vain" can refer to paying excessive attention to one's appearance or accomplishments, but the main underlying meaning is simply empty, or of no lasting value.

A book I read recently compared the fear of the Lord with the fear of man. The author explained that whatever you "fear" is what you look to for meaning and fulfillment. So if I am a God-fearer, I am expecting Him to care for me and give my life meaning. I put glorifying Him at the top of my "to do" list and as long as that happens, I don't worry too much about what others think of me. This is my desire, but not yet my reality. It does help put things in perspective when my feelings are hurt or I think I didn't get all the credit I deserve. Someone has said, the best way to find out if you have a servant's heart is to see how you react when someone else treats you like a servant.

Thanks for writing about something that hits so close to home ! It seems like we all struggle with knowing the difference between self conscienceness and wanting to have a healthy temple for His Glory.
The two words that come to mind most often in my life are, contentment and restlessness. Somedays my restlessness may actually be conviction over a real deficit in my character or appearance and on other days it I have to ask : What is REALLY driving this perception ?

Taking time to pray for discernment and reading the scriptures ( " Man looks at the outward appearance but God sees the heart " = 1 samuel 16;7 " ) usually gets me back on track. Only God knows what is going to be helpful to my whole body, not just for my health but for His glory . If I need to look professional for a position He has given me , then a little make-up for confidence boosting can be a blessing. ON the other hand , if I spend most of the week fretting about the outward and not on the actual tasks set before me ( whatever the occupation may be ) then Satan has done his job at making me less effective for the kingdom !

Again , its a daily judgement call. Thankfully we don't make it alone !

God Bless,
MJ

I am vain and ashamed by it to an extent. I want to have plastic surgery to improve the look of my breasts. Deep down I know that I should be grateful for what I have, but this has been a life-long desire of mine since puberty (I am now 37). Sometimes I think that if I were to go through with it, something bad would happen to me during the surgery as a lesson from God that I should not be so vain. I've prayed about this many times but alas, I am only human.