Camerin,
Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing this. I can't count the number of times when it feels like my prayers get stuck on the ceiling.
Thank you also for writing your book. It has been a great encouragement to me, and was exactly the book that I had wanted someone to write for ages.
Blessings,
Beth

Thank you for your honesty...as to where you were at that time and for sharing what you shared in your personal prayer with God.

I totally identified with Camerin's feelings. We all have experienced disappointments in our lives. Whenever I feel my anger is turning toward God I remember that he knows what's best for me and that he works all things for the good of those who love him.

Camerin, Thanks so much for sharing your vulnerable emotions. Many single Christian women have shared pain & losses such as relationships, careers, etc. It never gets easier but we know life is not a rose garden. At least, we can share & carry the burndens & Heartaches. Love & prayers & God's Greatest Blessings For You J

Thank you so much for being so open. Too often we think that we are the only ones that feel like we are alone. Thank you for sharing your prayers.

Thank you for this beautifully written look into you heart. It is a blessing to me personally.

Camerin,

Boy have I been there and still am sometimes. Thank you for sharing so openly and so honestly.

I've learned over the past year, more than ever before, that although there are times in my life when life feels totally yucky, God is still there for me, just as He has promised in Hebrews 13:5. He will never leave me or forsake me, or any of us.

Thank you for your honesty. I will keep Psalm 139:7-10 close to my heart as a reminder that our loving God holds fast to me no matter the circumstances. This past year has been very difficult for me but I receive reassurance daily from my heavenly Father that all will be well. I see clearly His presence in my life and I thank Him every day for that reassurance.

Camerin - I can sooooo identify. I will be 45 on the 29th of this month and have NEVER married. My last relationship ended about four years ago and I thought for sure it was God's plan for my life. The Holy Spirit's presence came on me like never before and I had scripture after scripture to confirm it and still had my heart broken completely in two. Since then I have adopted a little boy thru DSS, so my life has done a MAJOR change and definately know this was part of God's plan. He basically dropped Tyler in my lap. But I have been emailing this guy for a couple of months thru christianmingle.com and he seems AWESOME and a wonderful relationship with the Lord. But it scares me to death, because of those feelings and we haven't even talked on the phone yet. Dating is so hard. I CAN'T STAND IT!!!! MAY GOD BLESS YOU! I want to keep up with this and if you have any advice for me, please pass it on! MAY GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!

Camerin,
Thank you. I can't count how many times I have felt the same way and feeling that even if I have people to turn to, they wouldn't understand. I have always considered that I have at least that mustard seed size faith but when I found myself in moments like that I doubted in the actual size of my faith. Your experience has helped me put into perspective that it is because I know that God is able that I sometimes feel disappointed. But I believe in ALL of His promises, especially that he works all things for the good of those who love him.
Thank you again. May God continue to bless you and use you as a vessel of blessing.

Camerin,

Thank you so much for being open and honest. I'm divorced and have been single for 10 years and I won't bore you or make you angry with all of the well-meaning phrases that I have heard over the years. As a matter of fact I left my last church becaue the Pastor's wife stated that maybe my prayer for a husband hadn't been answered because of hidden sin. Through this season God has taught me about His timing, and about ministering to others. Instead of trying to explain away their heartache or try to justify God (as if we could) I now know to say, I know you are hurting, I love you and will pray for you. At any rate thanks and may the Lord grant you the desires of your heart. You've been so faithful to Him, I can't wait to read about what He has had in store for you all this time ;)

Camerin,

THANK YOU for reading my mind! I've got a new potential date in my foresight, and with every new one that comes along, I try so hard not to get my hopes up, and either I get my hopes up too much or get too cynical. It's so hard to trust God and go with the flow. Here's something I wrote not long ago after a failed date that seemed promising:

Unfortunately, nothing is a blow to the heart and the hope of an almost-thirty-year-old single like a brush with failed romance.

This is not new. It has happened before�.

It starts with a lonely but hopeful heart, talking to You like a friend. �God, I am tired of being by myself all the time. I�ve watched so many of my friends fall in love, and I wonder why it hasn�t happened to me yet. I wonder if there�s someone that you are saving for me for the right time. If this is true, please let it happen soon!�

You�ve heard the prayer before. �I want to fall in love for the right reasons. Please prepare my heart for a relationship with my future husband, and prepare his heart for union with mine. Bring us closer to the moment when we will meet as you bring us closer to You.�

Then�.every once in a while, a spark of promise occurs from someone potentially special.

When I become aware of a potential relationship, my imagination goes wild. First I wonder where we will go on our first date. I think about how it might feel to kiss him. I think of funny stories I can tell him to make him laugh, and I think about fun places we can go on dates. Eventually, I start picturing what my life will be like when I marry this person, and sometimes it�s a person I haven�t even met yet. I think about introducing him to my family and friends, and what songs we will play at our wedding, and who my bridesmaids will be. I think about where we will live and what our children might look like. In my head (never out loud or on paper, at least not since high school), I say my first name with his last name, to see if it sounds natural. I pray numerous times that this will be �the one� so I can finally feel what it feels like to fall in love, and also so I can be done with the agony of dating. Then, at some point, I chide myself for assuming so much before anything actually happens.

So, God, I am feeling pretty low right now�pretty doubtful about my chances of this ever happening to me. I�m wondering if I should stop praying for it to happen, because I�ve been disappointed so many times and for so many years. However, even when I�m as jaded as I am now, something deep in my heart just won�t quit hoping.

I love You, God, and I really do trust You, even when I�m a little disappointed and doubtful. Help me to build on the thread of hope and trust that is still holding my prayers together.

Thanks again for the reminder, Camerin!

Becca

Thanks for sharing this. My hurt is not about men/women stuff but a relationships with a family in my church that has turned sour. I know that this will someday come to an end. In the meantime, I have asked the Lord to give me a stronger back to carry my cross with dignity and grace.

That was very beautiful. I have been hurt too. I guess most people have. If He hasn't yet, I hope that the Lord will send the one for you and the two of you will be very happy together, and that the Lord will heal your wounds from the hurts of the past.

I don't know what happened to my post. I don't see it. That was a beautiful story. I hope that you find the right person if you haven't already, and that both of you are very happy together in Jesus. Sincerely, Linda

Amen!

To lay ALL my burdens to the Lordship of Jesus; ALL, including my anger over my hurts, anger that I doubt, confusion and frustration over how many times I fall in my flesh when my spirit earnestly yearns to seek the pure and loving things...

The glorious God who is ever-faithful, heals us, turns our doubting hearts, clears our confused, tumultuous minds and hearts to the simple goodness and truth of His Way; how sweet the sound of His amazing endless grace that allows us to lay ALL our burdens at His feet, to be still, and know that He is God who Loves Me as GOD loves.

Praise God Almighty, Everlasting Father!

Thank you so much for your post, Camerin :) You definitely got my 'AMEN!' loud and clear!!

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I identify with your feelings so much at the moment, but I am trying daily to remember that whatever anyone else thinks of me, to God I am very precious and He loves me with an everlasting love. I also remember that He has plans for me that will not be shaken.
God bless you.

I am also in a relationship that I am not sure where it is going, but I am relying on my dear Lord to let me know if and when I should get out of it. I also will have a long way to fall as I have really let him become a part of my life. His AA past is not one that I would ever have thought I would except, but I do know our Lord has forgiven him and has helped him become the wonderful man he is today. Thank you for your words of encouragement.

I can't imagine a woman who would not be able to relate to this in some aspect of her life and be encouraged and aided.

In addition, you have a wonderful gift of being able to describe exactly how it felt for you : thank you so much for being willing to be that vulnerable with your readers. And for working so hard to find just the right words to do it. (It shows--or at least it seems that you pay attention to the writer's craft--maybe you don't struggle with it.)

Camerin
This especially rings true not only for single women but mothers and grandmothers as they have to give their hopes and dreams to the Lord for their children:

�I trust; help my distrust.�

Especially asking the Lord to help when we distrust, and help us to learn all we need to learn and to pray His will is our only hope as you mentioned. The old hymn, "Where Could I Go but to the Lord" resounds in my mind so often as the cares of this world seek to overwhelm and hurt us.
Many blessings, dear one, and may He take our scars and make them stars that shine brightly in this dark world.
Donna Collins Tinsley

Camerin,
I have spoken almost the exact words and thoughts aloud to God about a situation in my life. It is neat to know that someone else has the same somewhat philosophical conversations with God.

Some of my other conversations with God include addressing Him as my earthly Father while patting the empty spot beside me in my car or on my couch. Heavenly Father seems like too far away for the comfort I need at that moment.

You described the connection between faith and trust very clearly. I sometimes tell God "I know you know the best plan for me but I don't like this part of your plan. Help me ..." Then there is always my followup question of "did I make a decision that ended me up on this uphill curve instead of a level curve and what do I need to learn from that decision?".

I think that I am learning that repeating requests is an act of faith as well as steps that lead me to understand God's sovereignty and my submission. On this side of heaven our Christian walk is full of undefined variables that we cannot control by predicting and minimizing risks of wrong decisions. We pray, do our best, and then ask for forgiveness and strength to go forward.

Beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

I totally identify with you on those feelings of disappointment. But unfortunately for me i could not be honest enough with God, so i ignored HIM. Thanks for your honesty now i can honestly speak to HIM about my disappointments and learn to trust HIM

Thank you, Camerin, for verbalizing what I have been thinking. As many others have said it is good to know we are not alone in our experiences. No matter what it is, many others are there with us! I am 57 and never married and am learning that it is a big risk to reach out in a relationship. But God is a big God. and it helps me to pray for His kingdom to come--in my life and in the life of the one I have as a friend. I pray God's kingdom will come in our lives and His will will be done as we seek Him.

I too can relate. There have been a few times when I've found myself a little angry with God. However, I finally realized the devil must be at work again, so I asked God for forgiveness and asked Him to remove the devil from my thoughts and my home. Trust me, the closer you get to God, the harder that little red guy with horns will work to turn you away from God, but I'm not gonna let the little red guy win. ;)

We have to remember that some things happen for a reason -- good or bad. As for answered prayers, He usually answers in His time, and if it's His will.

When everything seems to be going wrong in our lives, it is so nice to be reminded that God is there and can handle all of our hurts, fears, worries, doubts, shortcomings, disappointments, and failures with such love and compassion that even when we feel like we are falling He's still holding and guiding us.

Camerin,
Thank you for writing your feelings. It is very good to know that there are other people who feel this same way and to find the passages that help you get through these tough times! It certainly has helped me out.
Kim

Thank you, Camerin, for your sharing. It has encouraged me too, to be more open to God in sharing my innermost feelings and thoughts.

Thanks for sharing this, it is quite real. This is an encouragement for those who are really down in the spirit. But in all where can one go from his presence. He is is the same God. But human as we are, we want it done right there and then. Sincerely it hurts but he is still God.

That story touched me deep. I can relate to the feelings behind it. Life can be difficult to face from time to time. But I always hang on to Psalms 18:10 NIV
The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.

God Bless You
Sequellah

Camerin, I also like to tell God my innermost feelingsd and thoughts, but I am afraid that sometimes I seem to complain too much than to just Pray and be thankfull that he is a Faithfull and Trustworthy father. Thank you for your sharing for it has showed me that I am not the only one who sometimes just give it as it is to God.

Thanks for sharing. I am very up and down with emotions and have to try to "let go and let God". I am currently trying to work on "loving" myself, so that others can love me. I also try to remember God has a plan and we may not see it now, but the things we do now will probably help us or someone else in the future. I also would love for God to just SHOW me what my lesson is in "this", whatever situation. It's a constant struggle.

This is a right on time message that coincides with what my pastor preach on sunday. It's reassurance that Gods blessings are in store for my life and to keep pressing and praying for the things we ask God for. Don't Give up! Don't let up on the promises of God. Be Steadfast and immovable Praise God!

THANK YOU- Hurt from past loves and hoping that God hears you enough to BLESS YOU! Oh, how do I understand... Our God did bless me and I'm reading this and taking it from the sense of a woman in a "loving" relationship. I need God to guide and aid me- just in case, the words I've been humming to my friends and family that he is the "one", if he's not... That's where I am today...
I've prayed for this man-not knowing that it would be him- but a Man the GOD "designed and willed" for me... And when I wasn't even thinking it- but knew it was coming, my beau showed up-and now I ask God to guide me to knowing that he is truly the one... So thank you my sister, "And in a prayer inspired by Mark 9:24, I say, 'I trust; help my distrust.'�
Bless your heart for sharing

Thank you for sharing this with me. I feel u shared it with only me because I have been blessed. you have increased my faith and trust in God. I know he will change my situation and I thank him for that. Thank you too and stay blessed.

Thank you for having the courage to share this with all of us.

In my prayer the nite before, I humbly asked God "where is my husband?". I waited for an answer, but none came.

The next evening, I took a different route home from work and came upon a small church with a billboard that read, "To have faith is to have the patience to wait for God's timing."

Ha! Not my timing, but His. It's hard to do, but I know that He's with me every step of the way, even if I get impatient every once in a while!

AMEN!

Camerin,

i am encouraged, so many times i have asked God to protect my heart, and yet, hes stayed silent.

but like the verse, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

Thanks, Camerin, for this article. It means a lot to know that many women struggle with the same thing.

Becca, I like what you said here:

I�m wondering if I should stop praying for it to happen, because I�ve been disappointed so many times and for so many years.

I'm at the point of wondering if I should even start praying. I'm too afraid of being disappointed. I think I've all but given up on the idea of ever having someone special. I guess I tell myself it's better not to hope, then I'm not "setting myself up" for disappointment.

It does seem difficult to me when my friends are being blessed all around me, while I seem to be the only one not being blessed in the arena of marriage and children. However, I do not always feel solid in my relationship with God, and deceive myself into thinking I can't trust Him with my feelings. Thank you, Camerin, for the reminder that the sky will not come crashing down if I tell God how I feel.

Wynne

To all the sisters in our Lord, Jesus. I would like to encourage each of you to never ever doubt whether you are the only "Left sandal" "left" in the shoebox on the shelve in Wal-Mart by yourself. (This is the vision God used to call me to serve in Single Ministry when I was shopping in the store.)

Let's end this post with this prayer from the book of Psalm 94: 19 (NLT) When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.

Thank you so much for posting this:) I have been in a storm lately(that wasn't about love) and ended up getting very upset at God. I have since repented but still felt guilty. I know that we should never be angry with God for He is good. But every true believer has moments when they question where God is and just wants to follow His plan. ( I doubted that yesterday.) It is just very scary when we can't even see His face in the midst of it all. There is a shame that comes with doubting God. Thank you for reminding me that we are never alone and that He loves us through it all. FYI, the whole time I was being angry at God, I felt like a little child on her father's back being carried around yet still voicing my sorrows! He still loves us and protects us. Life is hard. Romantic relationships are hard. The illusion that we are sometimes fed as believer's is that we will never have to struggle because He is on ourside. The truth is we struggle like everyone else and even more with persecutions from our faith, but through it all He is on our side. And when we can't feel Him by our side, look down and see how high up He is carrying us on His back:) God Bless you! And I thank God for moments of truth like this that He provides:) Hang in there ladies! The man if your dreams came to this earth 2000 years ago, decided to love you at the beginning of time for all of eternity, and has promised to never leave or forsake you! And if He allows one of His sons the privelege of loving you until His return, you better believe that He has made sure that man is ready and able! So wait on the Lord, His timing is perfect:))

Camerin --

As a never married 54 year old woman, who has longed for a husband and children, my heart certainly resonated with your words. In 2004/2005, I reconnected with an old boyfriend. Everything I read in the Bible, heard in sermons, and other things seemed to point to the fact that God was putting us together. When I was convinced it was God's will, I gave him my heart. After a few months, everything fell apart. We canceled our wedding plans and I was devastated.

A missionary friend of mine, who was single a long time, told me it sounded to him like I had given this guy my "God spot". He said that God never intended for us to give away HIS place in our hearts -- that He always needs to be our husband. He also said that God never intended us to be hurt that deeply.

I've realized since that I set this man up as an idol. I have worshipped the idea that if I got married, I would no longer be alone -- I'd have a companion -- and that would make my life a lot better. While all that may be true, I've realized that God wants to be my companion and He promises never to leave me alone. Somehow, in some way, I know I need to get to the place where I'm totally content in being with God and God alone. I'm still struggling with this and certainly haven't arrived, but I do believe it's possible.

In the meantime, I don't give up hope. But as I get older and older, with no future husband in site, I realize that my time on earth is decreasing. It may not be until I'm in heaven that I truly get to experience being a bride. I don't know. But I know that God knows and that He's got wonderful things waiting for me.

Thank you for your honesty, your openness, and your vulnerability. You are truly a blessing to me.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Jesus loves you no matter what. You didn't choose him. He chose you. He already know.
I just want you all to know- It is already done.

Hi Camerin-
I have such great appreciation for Sisters in Christ who are transparent and real. I often find the women at church are always 'Good.' Which i note at times I am not. I was in your shoes almost two decades. I was a late bride; truly Blessed with an amazing Husband. For the last six years, infertility has been my constant companion. Friday, I experienced another 'Crash and Burn' as another family was chosen to receive a baby girl due in January. My faith and believing is also not the problem- now again it is my trust. I Mirror your prayer: I Trust; help my distrust. Blessings to you and please keep keeping it Real!!

I read your article after crying some tears earlier this evening over frustration about my work and my life in general not meeting "my" plans. Thank you for sharing...it is another reminder that I'm not alone in this feeling among my sisters here! It seems like God doesn't necessarily make the hardships and trials go away, but there is grace and strength for getting through them.

Hi, thanks for your timely and honest writing about your prayers to God. I feel the same way too and it is so encouraging to hear your prayer. I too have prayed for God to guard my heart and yet was lead down. But the hurting process has allowed me to be raw and honest with God and my failability. Thank you again for opening your life to me. I always look forward to your column! :) God bless. And may He guard our hearts

i remember a long time ago trying to put up safe gaurds around my heart and simultaneously it appeared God was tearing them down. I asked him why? Why woulnt he let me be distant till I chise not too and to keep some part of me back.... the answer that came back was simple, my part was to trust and obey.... His was to protect. That never meant I would not go through pain...Judas wasn't the 1st person to betray Jesus .... Adam was and Jesus was betrayed over and over again from then, sadly, he still is till today, by people like me. If God can be hurt like that and still be an open, vulnerable God, then so can you. Go never lost for loving .... nor will you. You dont loose for loving as you are called too, so as you have asked, he will answer. He has stored up all your tears and He cradles you in his arms. You are his baby girl and you are always protected from what is harmful, but what is harmful is defnined by God - so trust him and follow. I did.
Gods love and mine.

Dear Camerin,
Thank you for this sharing. I felt my soul resonated with you as I read your thoughts. Similarly I do my reasoning with God before I sleep some nights, and recently, "blaming" Him for not having a companion has began emerging, and it fears me deeply to have this feeling.

However, this morning, I realized, many times disappointments and regrets came because of lack of faith, unwillingness and fear of bringing hurt to myself.

Being a single christian lady for many years, I have learnt to protect myself "too much", and I blocked every possibility of risking myself to danger. Sometimes I pray, wait for miracles to happen and expect a smooth ride, which is totally wrong, as God never said things will fall from the sky. Sometimes we need to make effort/sacrifices and take responsibility of our actions.

I do hope things will be well for you and may all be to glorify God.

Just wanted to say that while reading your story I just felt like it was me talking. I have had such similar experiences and I see that I am not alone. It still hurts though; it hurts me that I don't feel like I have a "real" relationship with God because I doubt him and sometimes feel angry with him, but at the same time, I trust him for my family and friends because I have seen him move in their lives, in some very big ways, so I wonder why he hasn't in mine. I still love Him anyway but I'm not sure if it is deep enough or just on the surface. It does give me some comfort to know that I am not alone in feeling this way. Thank you all for your stories and may God Bless you all.

Thank you so much for writing this! Though my situation does not have to do with a relationship, what you wrote opened my eyes in a completely new way to a new realization! Last week my husband was let go from his job. Last year we had agreed that I would not work because I am a full-time graduate student. So this sudden and unexpected lack of employment and income shocked us. First we were stunned, then we were heartbroken and we are just now getting past the "scared" phase. But the part that really spoke to me about what I just read was where you mentioned Psalm 139:7-10. I am shamed to admit that I have to make a conscious effort to stop worrying and remember that God is there and Jesus is walking with us every day of my husband's job search. They are both united with us in this time of our lives. We are not alone and we are winging it by ourselves. God IS there. Jesus IS there and we should not fear or dispair. Thank you so much for your powerful reminder that we (meaning everyone He ever created) are not alone! Thank you! I feel the urge to shout this at the top of my lungs from balconey right now but the neighbors not appreciate it this late at night! :-)

God has a way of answering us and I really needed your message... I just got through crying last night and angry with God. I am 43 years old and I haven't ever experienced what it is like to be loved or even cared about ( I am not exaggerating or having a pitty party - this is the turth). My relationships have always been very short and then I go years without meeting someone. I am a member of one of the largest chuches in NYC, Yet no one. All of my friends and family have always had and/or kept someone. But not I, I was never blessed in that way. No matter how good (not stupid or weak, but good) I was in my realtiosnships, I always got hurt/dogged. Since the time I have been dating, only once did I have a boyfriend for Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays or New Years and even that one time, I still was treated like crap. I am 43 years old and every holiday and birthday (since I have been old enough to date) have been spent alone- with that ine exception. (All of my friends have someone and always have). The most amazing thing about my situation is that most people think I am happily involved. I am attractive, educated and outgoing, but I am never chosen to be loved. I try not to be angry with God but I am. I feel that no one should be put on this earth and not experience someone to care about him and or her. People can quote all of the Bible scriptures there is, but when your phone never rings, or you never meet anyone and all of the holidays and your birthdays are ALWAYS spent ALONE; and the only thoughts that you have about relationships are of those who hurt you, because there are no good ones to think about, it becomes very hard to have faith in God again...but after reading your post I will try to feel differently. I guess God blesses us as he pleases, but everybody need someone, unless it is their choice not to have someone. I feel like God ever gave me that choice, he decided it for me and it really hurts... Again, thank you for your post.

After reading the responses to this article, I totally feel the pain of being hurt in the past (I was briefly engaged with a man who I now recognize was an emotional abuser), afraid to let anyone in out of fear of being hurt and the shame of keeping God out of it all. I have spent a lot of time lately trying to figure out why God has not allowed me to have someone special in my life. I also have come to realize that churches do not do enough to prepare both men and women for singlehood. They only talk about marriage and try to prepare teens for that. In fact I can remember no one mentioning any preparation for life without a husband/wife. At the moment, I'm in the process of mourning the hopes and dreams that I had for a spouse and my own family. I am nearly 37 and never married and at the moment have no hopes of ever being as my church does not attract good, single Christian men. I know I need to trust God and I want to give up on everything, but like another reader said, I just can't do that. I know God is good and I know He has a plan for me. At the moment, I do not know what it is. I need to start with asking for forgiveness for my doubt, self-pity and lack of faith in my Father. Second, I need to start asking Him what is His plan for my life and then wait for Him to answer. It may not come today or tomorrow or even this year. As someone pointed out to me recently, the first 3 words of Psalm 40 are, "I waited patiently..." I need to learn to wait patiently. Thank you all for your encouragement as we all learn to wait patiently together.