I love the way you write! And I love this topic.

When I'm feeling empty, I try to reach out and BE a friend instead of expecting others to befriend me.

For instance, two weeks ago I was going up to Celestial Seasonings factory in Boulder - checking it out for a fundraiser meeting.

At the last second, I called my neighbor to see if she would go with me. My neighbor has severe bipolar and maybe schizophrenia. She takes a truckload of pills, seems like a zombie, never goes out (except to take her dog on a walk to the mailbox) and never has anyone over. She does live with her boyfriend who is kind to her.

It was a hoot taking her on the factory tour and then treating her to an outdoor luncheon at one of the trendiest restaurants in Boulder. I don't think she had ever done anything fun like that!

I could sit around feeling sorry for myself when friends aren't around - and I do agree there times when God wants to quiet us - or I could reach out to someone who is much more lonely.

When I experienced a friendship famine, I prayed and asked God to bring some friends into my life. He answered in an unexpected way. One of my long-time friends (who I really didn't get to see that much) was forced to completely change the pace of her life due to health problems. I would never wish that on anyone, but the silver lining of her trial has proved to be more time to enjoy our friendship. We both are treasuring a friendship that would never have gotten the chance to be so close if the health problems had not come. God can definitely bring good from bad circumstances.

Shortly after my husband and I married we relocated. Well, for me it was relocation, for my husband it was going back to his hometown. I didn't know anybody and we were the only couple our age married. So at times I felt very isolated. While my new friends were single or dating and caught up in that season, I was caught up in poopy diapers and baby barf! Not to mention trying to keep my marriage in a good place. I prayed and cried to God for a close friend, or as Anne of Green Gables would say, "a bosom buddy". Little did I know that another young mom (about 5 years older than me) was praying for the same thing, and her husband was praying for her as well. And unexpectedly, at a conference we attended with our church's leadership, a friendship began that is truly an answer to prayer. And while I have a feeling change may come in the next few years and I may enter a time of famine again, I too am storing up the richness and fullness of the present.

I am encouraged by your words. I am going through a season I've never experienced before. I was married at 25 and lived with my parents until then. I have been married 14 plus years. I am 40 years old with two children and lonelier than I've ever been. This is a strange land I am traveling through.

Daily I try and remain grounded in God's love and His word. It is the only thing that keeps me from losing hope.

I experienced a frienship famine when, almost two years ago my and husband and I moved to wherewe currently live. I was not working, we don't have any children and since we moved here for my husband's job, I was home alone all day the first few months. Not having children made it a little harder to meet women in my community who I found often meet for play dates, or at the playground, or at the local public swimming facility. I started taking college classes but all my classmates were working adults with children and Little League and deployments...busy lives. FINALLY I was invited by a woman in my Church to attend a Women's prayer group meeting and I love it! I was able to meet other women my age and we share the same faith. I feel that that was God's answer to my frienship famine, making it possible for me to meet other like-minded women of faith.

It is so strange how the Lord let me to this topic! I've been feeling like I've been in a friendship faminine for awhile. My Dad just died that was a powerful prayer warrior for me, now that support system is gone. I'm a school teacher, but don't enjoy teaching anymore with all the discipline problems. I've been praying that God would send a friend to me. One day this may come true. I love this article. Other women are in my same boat too. The Lord sees us in our situation of a desert and knows that we need friendships to lighten the lonely load.

Friendship fammine is so difficult and so lonely especially when you have been hurt by a "true" friend... you miss the closeness even more....I have searched womens groups at my church and have not found friends...I found out in my time of real need those who reached out were non christian and most sincere but lacking in Christ...It waswonderful to have support but it was frustating to not have Christ in these friendships...The church has been mostly void of friendships and very superficial and not trustworthy. I have been in the church since i was born and Christ has been a real part of my life and I have always worked full time as a nurse in a very secular world.....one last thought we all need friends with skin on...

Famine brings us to realization that man is created to be together but at the same token it is also an understanding that "isolation" brings nourishment to our spirits.

I had this revelation when i was in that stage of Friendship Famine...

Sometimes God allows us to be isolated because there is something that the Lord wants to tell us. It is similar to a "Closed- Door Meeting with the Chairman of the Board!"

Remember that we feed on one another...
What we have is what we can offer.

Friendship Famine is a time appointed by God so we get more from Him, to share more to others. In my case, I've been out from circulation of friends for more than 4 years but it was also the time when the Lord was storing up treasures of Faith... those experiences that i had during famine & isolation were used by the Lord so I can minister to my best-friend after 5 years of being out of contact.

There is a time for everything... It's a matter of changing our focus to what is present and widening our perception to what is too come.

In times of Friendship Famine... is a time of entering the timezone of our greatest Lover, Jesus Christ!

When we are with our Husband... the time stops so we can enjoy the moment and His presence....

The time of intimacy comes when friends are not around. :)

It is between you and Him.

Therefore, friendship famine is time of allowing our spirits to drink from the spring of His great love.

Praise God.

When I experienced a friendship famine, I prayed and asked God to bring some friends into my life. He answered in an unexpected way. One of my long-time friends (who I really didn't get to see that much) was forced to completely change the pace of her life due to health problems.

Max

Addiction Recovery Michigan

I remember when I just joined our church, I had no friends. I prayed that God would send me a friend who would help me in my new spiritual walk, and He did. The very BEST friend I had ever had came from praying and focusing on the Lord. I am now in a time of famine. I am home with children and do feel at times very lonely and insecure. But, I know God is wanting me to focus on Him right now...

Thanks for your honesty...

My husband and I are getting ready to relocate our family, and the hardest part for me has been thinking of leaving my friends behind. I have such a feast of friends here, and one or two best friends that I love sharing so many spontaneous moments with. I have been crying regularly in my pillow just thinking about it.

As a Pastor's wife, I have had to start over with making friends before, and it is never easy. I am just praying for God's strength and nearness to get through the "famine".

Your article has encouraged me to keep on going and pray for God to bring new friends into my life...thanks!

My closest friend and I have gone through several of these seasons. She relocated at the same time I did, which initially was ok until she got married, had two children and it became painfully obvious she could not balance it all and be an active participant in our friendship.

At the same time I listened (whenever we could talk) when she would long for a friendship just like ours in her new hometown. I encouraged her not to look for a replacement, because we had invested 10 years into our frienship at that time, but to be open to building new relationships that are going to start out with you learning about that other person.

As the years have passed we still struggle to maintain consistent communication, but I have come to accept that I am an important person in her life, even if her actions are inconsistently there, and she needs me to be there for her until she can pull all of this new life as a mother, wife, and longing for friendship has here in the balance.

Thank you for your article, I will send it to her to provide her with more encouragement.

What a wonderful story to share. Couldn't have come at a better time in my life!!! Just recently, a dear friendship of mine has grown stagnant! A wonderful man I met almost 2 yrs ago. We developed a very fullfilling friendship for over a year, then decided to cross that line...and we began to date. Because of past relationships, because we both have been through divorce, we grew fearful, and we were afraid of being in a "wrong" relationship ever again. We began to drift apart over the last month. I can't believe how much I really miss him! The dating stuff...but most of all I miss my friendship with him. I have cried into my pillow every night for the last three weeks. I continually pray that God will comfort both of our hearts. I don't even know how to begin to heal. I'm clinging to Jesus right now! I still have hope that someday, we may be able to renew our friendship. I pray that God won't let me manipulate this relationship into what I want it to be. Right now, I feel God leading me into this time apart. There are days I don't think I'll survive. I can't even beging to say how much reading this story meant to me today. Thank you so much!

I live overseas and the expat community is very transient. It takes me a few months to really start connecting with a new group of women, but the "feast" is short lived, because many of them leave to another country after 8-24 months. During one of the worst famines, my 5 closest friends all moved to another country in the same month! It's hard saying goodbye, but I start praying for the unknown new friends who are on their way that their move will be easy, new jobs rewarding, etc. That helps my heart prepare for new friends, and hopefully covers their move in prayer.

I relocated interstate for work; and was heartened when an administrative assistant - with the consent of the employer - put up a notice inviting those interested to attend a lunch-hour meeting to discuss the possibility of a regular Christian fellowship meeting, The Bible studies, prayer times and personal contacts were a great blessing and some of the friendships continued into retirement.

I too have been in the friendship famine several times in my life the worst as been when I lost my next ed door neighbor and walking partner. We lived nexted to each other and our kids became good friends through our the years, It was a wonderful relationship and we know a lot about each other and still stay in contact but she needed to move on with her life and so moved several hundred miles away. I had become very lazy and quit walking and my excuse was I don't have anyone to walk with so I am not going. That has all changed now I joined the gym and have made some new friends including my IPOD that I enjoy listening to music and just relaxing after a long day at work. I miss my friend alot but have learned that I can still do those things and I pray that God will get me through what ever it is that I am going thru .

I moved from South Africa to England almost 5 years ago and went through months of crying and feeling lonely. But God carried me through like He always does. For those of you who are alone, please feel free to get in touch with me sunita@sch@yahoo.com. I promise to be a friend and answer any of your e-mails. God bless. x

Thank you so much for the article,it has brought out a lot of issues and it answers a lot of questions for me personally.I have a few friends but sometimes Feel so lonely and distant from them.I now realise that these are the times that God wants to be intimate with me.Thank you for opening my eyes to this very important issue.
jacky

Thank you for this topic!! I have had several friendship famines and sometimes it is so distressing! However i turned to the greatest friend-JESUS and nurtured my relationship with him. Being with Jesus longer often makes me a better prson and able to reach out to others who usually need a friend more tha i do. I also used this time to remove any "cobwebs" that might have accumulated over time.

Thanks for this topic, am in that season right now when it seems like friendship will never happen again. To tell you the truth I didnt realise that any one friendship would ever mean so much. While it hurts it helps to know that God can work through this season to make us better.

I also like the suggestion that what we crave in a friendship we can actually find someone to sow in their lives. It is also comforting to know that I can speak to my heavenly father about it.

Most important of all, I appreciate the fact that there must be a lesson that I can learn from all of this to guide me in my future friendships and relationships. Above all, isnt Jesus the friend who is forever loyal and faithful

What an encouraging article, and the post from rarejewel was a blessing, too!! My family has been going through a major "crisis" for the past 2 months. One of my children did something really bad, and just when I needed my friends the most, they were no where to be found. I knew they were praying for me and my family, but I really needed someone to cry with me and help me get through this. There were times that I even thought God had deserted me, too. I am beginning to understand now, though, that through this tragedy, God has been trying to teach me something. I am still struggling with not having anyone to share my hurt with, and I am still feeling quite lonely at times, but God led me to Chapter 42 of the Book of Psalms this weekend, which comforted me, and then I read this article this early Monday morning, which has given me even more encouragement. Thank you!!

I am coming out of a season of famine. My husband and I moved. I had friends but none that I felt comfortable enough to be completely honest with. God has brought my highschool friend back into my life and that has been a wonderful, refreshing friendship that has been rekindled. I wasn't a christian in highschool and to see where God has brought us from young girls to grown Godly women has been amazing. She knows me and my "secrets" and loves me dispite them. Thanks Jan.

Thank you for sharing your heart. I too have been in a "friendless" season, actually going on season number two. This article has helped me to see more clearly that God isn't finished with me yet regarding my dependence on Him. He can fill the empty spaces in my life. Often I've questioned "what's wrong with me"? We don't have any family, and it seems as though I've become lost in the church family, the lost child that remains unseen. You have helped me realize that seasons of friendship do change and there is a purpose for all of it, a purpose for the drought and a purpose for plenty. Thank you for such great words of encouragement and a reminder to keep hope in my prayer life, when it seems as though prayers go unanswered.

Thanks for this article, I can completely relate! My closest friends have returned to work, I'm still home with a preschooler and it does get very lonely. Because of my hubby's concern and prompting, I did push myself to "put myself out there" more and tried to reconnect with old friends I'd lost contact with, which had varied results. I found the book The Inner Voice of Love by Henri Nouwen (men face this issue too!) extremely helpful through this time. Eventually I found pen pals on line whom I have much in common with and have been thoroughly enjoying these new relationships and the best thing is, even though they're overseas, they're still only an email away. God is good!

Thank you so much for the article! God led me to it at just the right time.
I've felt this way ever since my husband and I were forced to leave the friends and family we loved overseas to move back to the States. It is especially hard as we were not able to even move to my hometown but to somewhere else entirely where we have no connections.

It's a hard adjustment as I'd always been surrounded by close friends before, but I know God has not forgotten about us and that we can be honest with Him about how we feel.

How encouraging! I never knew other women went through this too. As a recent empty-nester who has lost the relationships born of having active high schoolers (meeting parents at common sporting events, PTA, committee groups, school functions, etc.) I've had to intentionally cultivate new friendships. It's been slow going but now I'm encouraged that there are plenty of women out there who need a friend too!

It's been was so encouraging and comforting to learn that others too go through these feelings and experiences. Thanks Jane.Glad I didn't delete this before reading!
Everyone I know seems to have friends at all the necessary points in life, and I often wondered why only I seemed to have desert spots so often.
I wondered whether when I had a friend I was too selfish. I remember for instance a friend I had in school;we were thick as thieves and we learnt by chance that others thought our friendship was sort of exclusive and I wondered secretly if that was indeed the way I wanted it.

And after school I didn't get a close friend like that except for relatively short periods.

I 've wondered about this dearth in my life. I don't sit and moan about it; reading this article has brought it to the surface again.I 've learnt to cope on my own, instead of relying on anyone else - whether it's for shopping sprees or walks. Still it would be good to have someone.God obviously has a reason for everything. Perhaps there are lessons He's trying to teach whcih I haven't picked up as yet. Going through the comments posted so far should throw some light on this too.

I REALLY needed to hear this! Thank you for this post. I was online putting in key words and this blog appeared. I am entering the friend famine now. I have tried to mend a broken friendship, but I think it is time to move on, or at least God wants me to have some much needed time to myself. I've never gone with out having a friend in my life. This is all very new territory for me. I pray that one day I can look back on this sad event in my life and say to myself "Ahhh, I see why you had to do it God"