I can't say that I've ever had that happen to me! But, I have always been so struck by reading David's gut-wrenching pleas. Recently my unlce has been struggling with his health. And I have found myself asking God to do what was neccesary for my uncle to be assured of his salvation in Christ alone. For me, the most effective prayer is the honest cry from the heart with desire to find rest in God's will.

Andrea, this is a very thought-provoking post. I think those kinds of prayers "Lord, do whatever it takes...", etc. usually come from a heart of concern and even desperation for someone we care about. Thanks for helping us consider this in a new light. I really liked what you said about the Holy Spirit taking our groans when they might be curses and turn them into blessings that words cannot express. I'm so thankful He knows the intents of our hearts!

Unfortonately this happens more often than we know. Ungodly prayers are very dangerous and displeasing to God.
Check out my new book, shadows among us...www.robinbertram.tv. It covers this topic and many more issues found within the church and in the life of christians.

"And unbelievers or wayward family members likely experience enough consequences of their freely made poor choices without loved ones' begging God to bring additional heartache to reveal to these sinners the error of their ways."

Actually, anyone who has experienced their marriage and family being destroyed by adultery and divorce most likely will observe the adulterers suffering little to no negative consequences (in this lifetime). Our society, and even many churches, no longer 'judge' adultery; adulterers are shielded from the consequences by 'no-fault' divorces, receive widespread acceptance, and a lot of 'support' and understanding.

Typically an adulterous husband/father takes most of the family income with him when he leaves, leaving the rejected wife and children to try to manage on a fraction of their former budget. My children certainly have not seen their adulterous father or the other woman experiencing negative consequences!

The abandoned wife and children have to catch on that there probably won't be any justice or negative consequences to the adulterers here on earth. They not only 'get away with it' but are rewarded for destroying a marriage/family to start an adulterous relationship. The other woman rewards the married man for leaving his family - with sex and adoration.
She lures him away from his responsibilities with her easiness - he figures why bother doing the work of building a rewarding marriage and keeping his promises to his children so they will continue to trust and respect him? Here's this willing female offering to give him what he wants if he will take the much easier route of rejecting his responsibilities to his family.

The betrayed spouse and children are the ones who get lots of negative consequences to try to deal with - rejection, ridicule, lies about how horrible they supposedly were to live with (so the adulterers can justify their adultery), tight budget, overdue bills, eviction, physical and emotional health problems... meanwhile the adulterers seem to fare just fine and even thrive.

Eventually the betrayed spouse and children learn to accept the fact that the adulterers only care about having fun no matter what damage it does (to others), and to look the other way so they at least don't have to witness the lack of consequences for the adulterers.

The betrayed might go through a season of wanting to see the adulterers suffering some negative consequences for their selfish sinful choice. It's at such a point that the children are in danger of losing their faith in God, because of the balant lack of justice and such prayers not being answered the way they hoped for. But eventually, years later, maybe, the children start to realize that God's justice is not something we will get to witness, that the wayward parent is never going to regret their richly rewarded choice to cheat, let alone apologize for it or turn away from their new adulterous life.

What we often fail to recognize is that God uses difficulties to make us more like Christ. That's the goal. Not our pleasure or affirmation. Paul speaks of welcoming troubles as "friends." If someone is praying that I fulfill God's plan for my life and the result is some temporary pain, so be it! The Americanized Church all too often equates good with pleasure and evil with pain. Hence the state we are in...

Hi Andrea,

I've been vexed by a difficult relationship with my ex/daughter's father, we were never married. We've been broken up for a couple months, however the relationship has been dying since the beginning of the year. After I declared to the ex that I am repositioning myself for change and fully rededicating my life in the Lord for my family's sound future, he's been resentful. I've been asking the Lord to show me how to conduct a conversation with him so it doesn't get ugly; to help me make the right decisions; to help move mountains in our hearts so that we may stop torturing each other. The ex is wayward and thinks I'm crazy, preachy and full of.... After our difficult conversations I find myself asking God to take him away from us, to rid us of his selfishness/immaturity/disrespect; then wondering if that was the right prayer. I think this prayer is ineffective for the prayor, not the prayee whom should remember that Christ does not advocate condemnation rather Christ-like love for all.

God has spoken to me in your article, and I am very thankful. To Him for always listening and consoling me, and to your works for giving me peace.
Thanks!

I found this post very interesting. If your boyfriend is truly a child of Christ then he does need prayer. However I don't agree with the notion that breaking up is something that would cause you permanent harm as you suggested in the verse Jer 29:11. Isn't it possible that by you continuing in a relationship that is not spiritually healthy causing you the harm? Breaking up might hurt, but ultimatley isn't it possible that God could use that for the good, yours and your boyfriends? Being married is one thing...but if you are not, then you have the choice to walk away. It doesn't mean you can't be a friend to this person, but involving yourself in a relationship that is not spiritually grounded whether or not he calls himself a christian, is not healthy or blessed. I understand your frustration with someone praying for pain, but sometimes the right thing to do is the hard thing to do.

My pastor's wife has so much Godly wisdom and has so much to offer the women in our congregation but has become afflicted with a number of illnesses that keeps her out of church. Out of ignorance I had prayed that I would be afflicted with her illness since I felt I had nothing to offer, and in return our church would have our Pastor's wife back!
Since then I am getting sores in my throat and that was one of the things she was having throughout the years. Now I am scared! Did I bring this upon myself?

I have never prayed a curse. Though some would say that the "what ever it takes" prayer is a curse, I do not consider it such because as you stated, "I can't be so presumptuous to think I know exactly what process God should use..."

I have prayed for blessing, for protection, etc. all positive for my unsaved family and friends. One day as I was pleading with God for the salvation of my sister and her family the Lord impressed me with the fact that my prayers could be tying His hands because only He could know what it would take to bring them to salvation.

As I thought about the implications, I fought for months before I finally said, "Lord they are in Your capable hands. I don't know how to pray anymore, therefore Lord I leave them to you to do whatever it takes to bring them to salvation."

Ideally I would like that to be blessing and joy and peace, etc. But I cannot expect that. I simply have to give them to God and let Him do what needs to be done.

I will never pray for someone to have a bad consequence, but I simply must leave all of it to God to decide what will work best for the person...as well as for me.

That prayer is scary for me...and I do not pray it lightly!

There is a difference between committing ourselves to God's will, whatever that will may bring to the person we are praying for, and praying down death and destruction on his/her head.

Our error is often in telling God what His will should be, giving Him instructions on how our prayers should be answered.

"Your will be done and your name glorified" is the best of prayers.

dear friend in christ
greetings from india
our family is suffering under curse since 2 yrs there is no peace. accidents, suicidal attempts, mental illness etc.
my name is jones. We are 7 children. my father dide 11 yrs back my mother is a chronic psychiatric patient. We r 6 daughters and only brother. my youngest sister is 23 yrs seriously ill due to witch powers. plz pray for her.
none of us were married. please pray for my family
thankyou.

I have often prayed for God to do whatever it takes to bring someone around. I don't think it is wrong at all to do that. Many times people have to hit rock bottom before they will look up. My son-in-law left my daughter for someone else a few years ago. He filed for divorce and the divorce was finalized. My daughter did not feel she should move on. She knew God had brought she and her ex together and so we prayed for him. I prayed very specifically for things to happen that would be considered "not good" by your article. God answered every one of those prayers! I had no clue at the time because our son-in-law wouldn't have anything to do with us. But eventually he came back to God and reunited with our daughter and they are now remarried. When they got back together, he started telling me specific things that were happening. My daughter and I just smiled and told him that we were praying for those specific things! God did answer my prayers very specifically and I wouldn't change what I prayed for anything. My daughter and son-in-law are back together again. We have to be careful to not pray out of vengeance or jealousy, but I don't think it is wrong to pray for something to happen that will get someone's attention and turn them back around.

Andrea, Excellent post and definitely puts things in a 'new light.' Thank you! To Judy (with the adulterous husband), having been hurt myself, I do understand how difficult it is to remember that, in spite of the adulterer's sins, the Lord died for him as much as for me -- but when Jesus said to forgive, he didn't add a codicile to that saying, 'except in the case of adultery.' For your own peace, pray for a renewing of your own heart to be able to move past this awful experience in your life and in the lives of your children. They're watching to see how you react - they already know what their father did. What's important now is for them to see you as forgiving -- not the sinful act, of course, but remembering that Christ died for him, too. The 'justice' we ALL deserve is damnation...praise God that He has forgiven us through Christ and that His blood is sufficient for all.

Thought provoking and sensitive topic. I would encourage believers to look at the sorts of things for which Paul and the other NT writers said they were praying. This could be very instructive for our prayers, particularly for one another.

To the person above, please be careful about how you word your intentions. If you intend to dedicate your life to Christ, then do so and God will help you, but don't couch this as your reason for splitting with your ex or expect him to approve. He won't.

Instead, set clear boundaries about what you will do, with clear reasons that have to do directly with your feelings and his behavior, and what you will do as a consequence and then follow through. Allow your relationship with Christ to help you, but that is between you and Him. Find support from other believers and a counsellor, if possible.

My ex is a Christian who is very legalistic, controlling and self-righteous. His ability to justify everything through his "holiness" was very damaging to me and to our relationship. I'm a Believer myself, and yet, even I was very close to turning from Christ because of his using the Bible, "Christianese" and Jesus to beat me. We Christians must be very careful about this, and to live peacable lives without malice. It's taken me years to not look to my ex for emotional support or approval. My relationship with Christ is not his affair, and his (or anyone elses) opionion of me really doesn't matter.

Andrea, I would agree that there are many many well-intentioned but misguided prayers that go up to our Father - and I trust He knows what to do with them!

However, this quote from your post does trouble me: "to provide a thoroughly blessed solution free of any further pain."

There is no glory in pain for pain's sake, or pseudo-christian sadism or masochism (whole other subject) - but pain can and often does play an extremely edifying and redemptive role in the life of a believer or even a soon-to-be-believer.

To Judy, remember Galatians 6:7 - 'Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap'. My family is a living testimony to this fact. My father moved his mistress moved into my parent's matrimonial home, some 30 odd years ago and even went to the extent of changing all the locks of the house so my mum could not get in.

Exactly 20 years later, this same woman moved out of she & my father's 'matrimonial home' and stripped it of everything she'd bought including cutlery, crockery and even the carpet and underlay. My father had to start again from scratch at over 50.

Don't worry, God can never be mocked and they will get their just deserts. And be assured, it won't take 20 years either!

I absolutely thought this was a good article. I used to pray that I would suffer so that I would be closer to God. Instead I got further from God somehow. Very good article .

God is pleased when we pray and lay our concerns on him, but he does not promise we will get everything we have the temerity to ask for. We are promised that our requests will be answered, but those promises are in the context of our first being centered in God's will. I don't think God will slap us for asking amiss, but I don't think he acts against his own character just because we ask him to.
I loved the honest revelation of your experience. Your understanding of the right kind of prayer for your relationship is much more in keeping with my experience of the way God works. I have reached the decision that no matter what concern a person brings to me, I pray for God's loving work among the people involved, not for an outcome that serves my needs.

When I was 8 or 9 years old, my family attended a church where the pastor was very abusive. He lashed out at people openly from the pulpit week after week, and even approved of fighting between members. I wanted God to remove this man who was hurting my church family. In my child like mind, I did not want God to hurt him or kill him, but I did want the pastor to go some place where he would never hurt anyone again. So I prayed that God would send him to Antartica. I thought that if he was preaching to the penguins, then no one would be hurt. Unfortuanately he did not go to Antartica, but instead stayed to pastor at that church for several more years. More than a decade after he left, the church is still suffering the consequences of his leadership. If that happened today, as an adult I would report him to the denomination officials instead of sending him a frozen retirement. So I can understand the desire for a prayer/curse, but instead of inflicting serious pain, we should look for God's alternatives for the situation.

About a year ago my husband was in great pain because of bladder cancer that spread to his liver, lung and spine. There was so many prayers lifted up for the pain and healing. One of the worst prayers, though, was prayed by a "friend", in my presense, was that God would either heal Tom right now or take him right now. I couldn't believe my ears. Why would he give God ultimatum like that in front of the spouse. It seemed so cruel and callous. Of all the prayers, it is that one that has stuck with me and I have had a differcult time forgiving the person. My husband did die about a week later.

To Judy's remark that the adulterer will likely bear no consequences: Unfortunately, I am now watching my ex-husband suffer through poor friend choices, career challenges, and being evicted from his apartment due to his new lifestyle. Trust me, sometimes you do witness the ill effects suffered by the adulterer. And it is not pleasant, it's painful.

The Bible says that in this world we will suffer; so I feel no personal need to pray for pain. There is plenty of challenges, hard times and sufferings to go around and no need to ask God to bring in more. Even for my few enemies, I don't pray like this because God will take care of the situation. I just pray for God's will to be done, whatever that might be.

I prayed for my parent since I became a christian at 15 years old. When I was 32 my Mum was told she had cancer. I continued to pray for my mum but asked that she would be healed from her cancer, and I continually and gently told of the importance of accepting Christ. She kept telling me she did not understand as she was a good woman and never did anyone any harm (which is true), but all have fallen short and we all need Gods forgiveness to enter eternity with Him. Over 4 years and lots of treatment, my Mum got worse and when then we knew that she was dying. I remember being at a crossroads with God. I had told my mum the importance of being saved and she had heard it from friends and church members who had all been praying and still she was not saved. I knew that God was the only one who could change her heart, but was now faced with the question. "God, if you choose not to save my Mum ......". What. Would I be angry, would I walk away. So I took my step. "God, if you choose not to save my Mum .... you are still Holy and Sovereign in my Life!". That step taken, I returned to my terminal Mother to care for her. 2 days later my Mum told me she needed to be Saved. And my husband and I led her to the Lord, where she found peace in her last week with us. She told everyone who saw her that she was Saved and no longer feared death, and she told us that it was her cancer that brought her to God. I am not saying that God gave her cancer as I don't believe God makes us sick, but that which was meant for evil, God brought to Good. Glory only to God. When we all pray, we should pray Love and Thy will be done as Jesus taught us.

I think in all things, especially in prayer, it's our motive that matters the most. God certainly has used "evil for good" in my life. It's a hard thing, but I have actually prayed for whatever in my children's lives. Less of this world and more of Him. I know that whatever route the Lord uses will not be easy, but it is prayed in love knowing that God will use it for His good and glory!

Andrea,
I never respond to blog posts, but feel compelled to answer. Yes, I have had people pray against me, and against my friends. We once let a single Christian woman stay in our house rent free for two years while when we were temporarily transferred away. When we had to return early due to a life threatening illness in the family, and told her she would need to find a new place to live, this woman told us she had prayed against leaving and said God told her she would be staying in the house. Needless to say, in a difficult enough time, she made things even more difficult.

Another incident with a friend really upset me. She was being offered a good job at a church and one of her friends told her outright that she didn't think it was right and she was praying against it. As her best friend I knew God was in control and prayed his will and his blessing upon her life. It was a great job that she did get and she is happier than she has been in years.

Personally, I believe people who feel compelled to pray against others or about negative things have issues with pride and ego. Instead we should be on our knees humbly asking for God's will and loving grace in thier lives. We cannot presume to know what is God's plan for "best" for other people, or use prayer to tell God what we think he should do.

And Andrea, God loves your boyfriend more than you ever can, so we can trust that it will be God's love that will draw him into a real relationship with Jesus. Of course he doesn't want it to be a fake one, and kudos to him for asking questions and wrestling with his beliefs. I say let's all pray like Andrea for God's love to surround him and for him to find an authentic and life long faith!

This is a very important post. I would like to add the following Scripture for consideration. Paul writes in 1CO 5:5 " have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. " While we must be careful in our prayers, there are times when eternal concerns outweigh temporal ones. However, I agree, it's not a comfortable prayer to consider nor should it be a casual one.

honestly this is quite an educative atticle.Ihave learn so much from this,because am one of those that say such prayers most especially to my husband he refuse accepting christ and wouldn't want men of God around ,he drinks and smoke this is making life unbearable for me and the kids , I pray daily with my kids for Gods transformation in his life .we have been married for about 10yrs now .I tell GOD everyday that as you did with apostle paul do it to my husband.cos is not fun leaving with an unbelieving partner,and my marriage must not fail.I feel it depends.thank you

Most of us prayed without understanding what we were praying for. There are times when we see our prayers good or proper during we are uttering them, simply because we base the quality of prayer to our desired outcome.

More than what we want to have, we should always ask the guidance of the Holy Spirit as to what to pray for... same way how Jesus prayed. As much as possible he did not want to experience that "CROSS" for a personal-valid reason, but instead of what is beneficial for himself, He said... "But not my will but YOUR WILL be done". I believe that prayer like this, is not putting curse on oneself or on others but instead allowing God to do things according to His desire . So if we pray for something for God to deal with whether to a person or things or situation, in whatever way possible so to accomplish His plan is not bad at all. But if we pray like this, let us just be sure to pray for grace that we may stand the outcome.

One of the weaknesses of christians when praying, is that when we receive the answer to our prayers and it is not pleasant according to our standards we tend to feel offended, cold, resentful, hurt, neglectful to the point of uttering words that would hurt God.

Jesus said to his disciples "Watch and Pray that you may not fall into temptation" and as Jesus' followers, this command is still effective as it was before. If we rush on praying on things because we immediately wanted to escape or get over a certain situation without contemplating first on what plan God has for that moment... we might be tempted to pray things out of our carnal desires and not according to the spirit of the Lord.

Prayer is not a vehicle for us to get to where we want to go but rather prayer is God's vehicle to accomplish his plan on earth through his chosen people, chosen generation and a royal priesthood that he created according to his image to carry his business on earth not as a servant but as his children.

Therefore, let us be responsible intercessors, sensitive to the Holy Spirit and Trust the Lord that He will bring about things that will complete His plan.

To God be the Glory!

Ecclesiates 5:2 - Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty with your heart to utter ANYTHING before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth so let your words be few
v6- Do not let your mouth lead you to sin, and do not protest... "my vow was a mistake...
v7-Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore STAND IN THE AWE OF GOD.

Ecclesiastes 7:14 - when things are good be happy, but when times are bad consider: God has made the one as well as the other.

Yes, I have been carried away like that. "Cursing prayers" seem to be a part of our landscape. Yes, too, some church families tend to like the drama of those types of prayers.

I also read about it once in "My Utmost for His Highest"...that God would make a trial even hotter and higher for someone, rather than my sympathies leading me to pray someone out of it.

Thanks for reminding me of my own past mistakes and my own fears that believers are praying for my hurt.

It was a reminder again of what drew me out of my sexual past to serve Christ. Christ fed me and cared for me. The other life entertained me.

If someone had prayed simply that the sexual sin would become a life of sawdust: tasteless, lifeless pain and suffering, I would have left it, but I would have struggled a lot more with wanting to return.

In Christ, I found not only escape from the emptiness, but life that overflowed and drew me with "cords of kindness" into a new type of adventure..one that left me uplifted in it's silence (lack of romantic company).

Thanks for the reminder that those gentle types of prayers do have a place in God's hands. They do work.

This was an article to ponder ; however having been one who has benefited from prayers in general I can surely say it was not the words it was the motive; after all God knows the intents of the heart. Sometimes;in love we need to pray; "harsh" prayers.

Dear David

I used to pray for people who is face by challences.There people out there whom does not know that they are attact by demonic spirits,sickness,poverty, children and woman that are rape and kil and my enemies.While I am busy ministering to their lifes I thank and ask God for strenght,wisdom,protection for me and my enemies,guidance.In all my prayers I used to intercede it with the heavenly language which came as a gift to me and used declare and decrea all the situations that may come my way.And my incouraging words today is that we must not forget that "Jesus Christ is the yesterday , today and forever".And walk by faith and not by sight and not to be moved by what u see.

My heart goes out to you. While your friend may have the purest of intentions in his mind, communicating such thoughts often produces confusion and hurt.

I have dealt with this same situation in the past and I remember how hurt I was when my Pastor told me that he didn't approve of my then-boyfriend. It wasn't until I ended the relationship that I realized my Pastor only had the best of intentions and was trying to protect me from being hurt. But, initially I didn't see it that way, nor did I really want to because it was easier to feel hurt by his words.

I Corinthians 13.

Reciting those verses (and I had to do it a number of times for it to sink in ) quickly took my feelings of anger and hurt and changed them into respect and love. I know my Pastor had the purest of intentions and was only looking out for me and my best interests.

Granted, he did pray with me for God's will, not for pain!

The two most powerful verses in that chapter, in my opinion, are

Love . . . 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

While I do not know what your friend's intentions are, I do know that turning the issue over to God and asking for wisdom and guidance is probably the best advice. Our hope is in the Lord! Our rest is in His word.

No matter what the circumstances are, believe that God loves you and wants the best for you . . . after all you are the daughter of THE KING!! You are a princess, and only God will approve the man who is to be your Prince.

Pray without ceasing, Love without limit,
Tori
PA

I had never really thought about this subject until two
Sundays ago, when our guest speaker (a pastor from another church) talked about how his parents have always rejected him when he tried to talk about Christianity, and so he prayed for God to do something drastic, anything that would be effective. He then described how his mother became incredibly ill, his grandpa died, and his parents in general went through financial difficulty as well; his father finally was willing to talk about God afterward. I'm not sure how to compare his experiences with yours, but I guess praying a "curse" does work sometimes.

Thank you for this article. I have always found it disturbing when people pray for bad things to happen to others. Surely we are meant to intercede, not to judge? It's true that God will sometimes allow people to be in painful situations, but that's up to Him, not us.

When I see a couple in a relationship that I am uncomfortable with, I would never pray for them to break up. I would pray for them each to be closer to God, to know His love and will, to be obedient to Him etc. I wouldn't assume that I know what's best for them!

Sue I want to assure you that I have forgiven my ex-husband and am not harming my children by failing to 'move past' this fast enough or reacting in a way that they should not be observing.
My children see me working (3 jobs so they don't actually 'see' me that often) to try to keep a roof over their heads and food in the fridge. They've also seen their father spending money on his new lifestyle. I'm simply stating facts - not being bitter. I have accepted that God probably won't reveal to us that the adulterers are in any way suffering consequences while here on earth.

As to whether or not the adulterers will escape 'damnation', that is related to whether or not they ever turn away from their sin in repentence. And just as with addicts, that is not likely to happen if they do not suffer any negative consequences for their sin, if they don't 'hit bottom'. Again, I am not saying that I condone praying that sinners will suffer consequences, just warning against false hope that of course they will. My children worry that their father will die a sinner - because his sinful choices are so excused and rewarded in our society. My children preferring that their father suffer SOME negative consequences of his adultery, so that he is more likely to turn away from sin and escape eternal damnation, is understandable and does not mean they are being unforgiving towards him.

Emotionally I have moved past it.
In fact I was so forgiving so quickly that at first my children felt as if both of their parents had abandoned reason and abandoned them to suffer the fall-out alone. My point was that assuring or assuming that adulterers will suffer any negative consequences, let alone "likely experience enough", may build a false hope and appetite in the betrayed for justice that they can observe. Society doesn't exactly condemn adultery, and the adulterers reward each other for their sinful choice. The truth is the betrayed will only feel more like the victims of injustice if they assume surely the adulterers will have negative consequences.

Also, it is one thing to heal emotionally, another to recover financially. It is a fact that the men who dump their wives and children typically increase their standard of living by doing so, while those they left behind struggle to get by. My point was that it is not likely that the betrayed will see any evidence of negative consequences for the adulterers in this lifetime, that they will have to accept that God is in control of justice.

Andrea, you are a trip. That's all I'm going to say...........

I believe that you can pray for God to sever a relationship. God knows our hearts, when we pray whether we mean harm to the person. I have prayed this way when my children were in relationships with unsaved people, and I knew the relationship wasn't good. God knows and I have seen prayer answered.

Mia

To Jones in India, I prayed for your family and will pray more. I wish you countless blessings and for the restoration of your family. I hope others reading this will pray hard also. Just hold on...

Thank you, my friends in Christ. I've struggled with a very, very difficult & hateful co-worker for 10 long, painful years. I'm angry and resentful, and my prayers are not as they should be. I'm grateful to all of you, especially Andrea, for the topic of this blog because it's speaking to me and MY sin concerning this burden of mine. Please help me pray that we all will be blessed by these uplifting messages and find guidance as we pray our way through the daily stings that this world hands us. Blessings to all of you.

Judy, I can really identify with your comments. I was in that situation 1993 my ex left me for a woman 17 years younger than himself - and me - Everything suffered, health, finances, daughter and 2 teen sons, etc God was there for me..I probably prayed those negative prayers - I felt I was struggling for my very life, after 23 years of marriage. I know God understood my pain, and motives.
Fifteen years later, his marriage has broken up, he's 62 with a 12 year old son whom he has to pay alimony for..she 'bit and scratched him like a madwoman, threw his wedding ring down the street,' so my sons told me.
Dr. Phil said 95% of adulterous relationships break up.
at first, it seemed like everything was going his way.....now it's all egg on his face.....It's funny, I feel sorry for him...no God, ho hope...I still pray for him...to be saved. God has been good to me..I am now in ministry with a wonderful husband who is a pastor...My heart's desire granted. Be encouraged. Like they say, "It's not over till it's all over" Rose

To Jones in India
I agree in prayer with Toni (above and others also I am sure). May your faith be rewarded with the joyful healing of your family. Both physically and spiritually. Let God hear and repond!
In relation to praying curses... it is not for us to curse or to bless but to lift all things to God in the name of Jesus for He is the only One who is Just and can bless or curse as His Will permits.

To Angela--

God does not curse His children. Although you may have prayed that God would trade your pastor's wife's sickness and your health, the Lord does not have to give sickness to one child to take it away from another. He is the healer! I will pray that He heals you and that He makes his deep love and care known to you in a new way.

Some encouragement from 1 John 4:

7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[b] into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for[c] our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
13We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

God loves you and is caring for you! There is nothing to fear.

This is truly God. I struggled with cursing and praying curses all yesterday. Every inspirational television show that I watched mentioned it and I went to bed early yesterday recovering from a cold wrestling to keep myself from praying a curse on to my husband for his lack of attention to his household during my illness. What a God we serve. I praise him for showing me that I am not a minority but part of his majority of soldier committed to effective prayer not putting our righteousness as a looking glass on other and then wanting revenge for our hurt by the other. Love truly is the answer.

Thanks to Andrea to post this topic.Everyone with believe the faith after reading this topic.
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john

Crack Cocaine

First, you had courage to speak up. Second, I think all of us at one time or another in our christian walk have prayed the way your friend did using other words. Several years ago, I was very unhappy in life/marriage/motherhood/the whole shebang, so I prayed God to help me in this. A few months later, I had a brain aneurysm. It rocked my boat, to put it mildly, but I am very thankful it happened. A lot of good came from it; the main being I grew closer to God instead of my circumstances as I was wont to do pre-aneurysm days.
So, in essence, I'm saying to you, God can turn what we perceive as bad into good and maybe what your friend is doing was praying for a breakup so you and/or the boyfriend would see each of your need to grow closer to God ; he might have felt you had forgotten God in your relationship.

I had a wonderful Bible Study teacher
years ago. She had a wayward son and
she asked God to spank him.

That very night, he had a motorcycle
accident that caused his rear to be
scooted along the highway. She was
not one to pray a curse, nor did she have
any idea it would happen this way.

I prefer the "whatever it takes," method.

GG

God is awesome. Of course he hears are cursed prayers, listens intently, knowing that it is are hearts and spirits that hurts. And so he answers are prayer not by what we say but by why we say it.

As a child my father was physically abusive to my mother. One morning he awoke and attacked her. Eventually he passed out from the alcohol he had drank the night before. When I came home for lunch, I went to his room where he slept and asked God to let him die. That afternoon, he attacked my mother again and she shot and killed him. While at school and at the time that it happened, a calm/peace came over me. I knew he had died. But I also knew he had found the peace needed, and the pain he had was gone. Only Gods light and love embraced him as he crossed over.

So some seemingly cursed prayers are cries for help from the ones praying.

to Jones,
May God heal your family and set it free from any demonic powers in Jesus' name. Amen! I will continue praying for you.

Thanks Adrea for such a nice sharing, God bless you too.

There is nothing wrong with praying for God to do "whatever it takes" to bring someone to God and out of sin. It is not a curse prayer. I agree that people sometimes have to hit rock bottom before they see the extent of what they're doing. However, HOW it gets done is up to God. But praying someone out of adultery,(for example, a husband has left his wife for another and is living in adultery;) praying for the severing of that relationship would be within God's will. God does not condone adultery and God hates divorce. And praying for such relationships to end would be in line with His will. God created the holy institution of marriage and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know His will regarding the intrusion of a third party within a marriage. You only have to look to the Bible to see what His will is. It's all written out for us. God NEVER tempts man into sin. I have heard christians falsely state that God sent them someone else because they were unhappy in their marriage. This is a complete lie and very unscriptual, and is the thinking of someone's own lustful desires for someone other than their spouse. Satan is the tempter.....not God. God does not send someone into sin to make them happy. God's first priority is to make us holy and get us saved....the happiness will be added unto us.
All you have to do is look in the Book to see what God's will is. Search the scriptures and you can pray accordingly.

I agree with the perspective at the end of the article---prayers aren't magic, God will work for the believer's good. On the other hand, a friend praying for the end of our romantic relationship is not necessarily a "curse." If it was marriage, then I would say that the prayer was inappropriate, but breaking up is far better than making the wrong choice and having to live with it for a life-time.

Sometimes in dating relationships we have to realize that the other person has issues they need to work through before they're ready.

I have had people say that to me before. Thanks for writing about it.