Preach it sista'!

I love this post.

I love your gut honest invitation to go stand in the mirror, look straight at my cellulite and proclaim, "You don't define me!"

I like my wrists as well. "Beautiful wristed women UNITE!"

Oh my gosh! I saw me written all over this. I even tried to read this to my hubby (who also saw me all over this -lol), but I couldn't get through it when having to read it out loud to him.

I feel bad for you that you feel this way, but it's so nice to know that I'm not the only one! Thanks so much for writing this, Ginger. My hubby and I had a really great talk because of this and I think I'll remember this whenever I start feeling those insecurities trying to take root.

blessings,
Christi

Thank you for your ability to share with others about how you truly feel about yourself. I, too, have the same struggles as you describe. I am now 62, and many say I dont look it, but I see the differences and struggle with aging and some wieght gain and the way it has shifted around on my body! I have a difficult time liking and accepting the body I have now since being older. I have put on clothes that "used" to look very good on me to discover that my body now, just doesnt look like it belongs to me! Knowing we are loved by Christ is good, but like you stated then I sturggle with guilt issues and some of the same old insecurities. I experience the same feelings you described when I am not pleased with how I look. It is always a mind (Christ's) over matter struggle for me, too.

We are wrist sisters! When I get down on myself, I try to remember that much of the time, I'm comparing myself to women half my age (I'm 45). That is not fair. I wouldn't do that to any other woman, so why do I inflict that comparison upon myself? Great post.

Beautiful!

I'm reading this right before I go to a class reunion-- 29 years. I needed it! It's exactly how I feel! I'm going to look in the mirror and appreciate what that person looking back at me has been through and I'm going to try and accept my imperfections and embrace my uniqueness with a little more ease knowing there are countless others who feel just like I do. Thank you.

GINGER!!!! You are a beautiful lady, inside and OUT!!

Enjoyed your article. Ruth

That's good insight Ginger. Thank you for a much needed perspective in today's culture.

I take comfort in this verse.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

I remember going through a check out line in Wal-Mart. The woman had a big nose, grey hair and wrinkled skin but she gave me the most beautiful smile. She literally radiated. Though she didn't say, the Light of Jesus shone through her.

When I commented on her smile, she smiled again and said, "Everyone tells me I have a beautiful smile. In fact the other place I left, they told me they missed my smile."

What a humbling but reassuring lesson!

I can give smiles. Perhaps others will overlook my imperfect features and be attracted to me as they were to her.

Rather than aspire to be like the models, I think I will aspire to be like her and develop a beautiful geniune smile. :-)

Thanks Ginger, I loved the article, it was
right on time...I turned 48 today and not
feeling my best lately, I was encouraged!

Ginger,

You said it, girl! Thanks for your honesty. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one looking in the mirror and sighing. The sad thing is, I've been doing that since junior high. When does it stop? It stops when I make the decision to accept my body just as it is and be grateful that it's healthy, that I'm able to walk and move and live without pain or difficulty. And that's a beautiful thing.

Thanks!
LeAnne Martin

Peace! I am so blessed by this sharing from you. It spoke to me. I work in a Catholic television station, channel 47 as a production executive. I also participate in our telemovies but I am already fifty four. Sometimes, I become so concern with my face and figure. You have given me encouragement. May God prosper your ministry.

hi! i can so relate to what you wrote! i am turning 40 next year, single, and a far cry from my 24-inch waistline when i was in college. and yes, despite God's assurance that i am beautiful and made in His image and likeness, there is that yearning deep in me to be not me. and to wish that this or that guy be interested in me not for my physical looks but for what i have inside. but despite that, i never fail to smile at myself whenever i look at the mirror and say, "you're beautiful! God said so!"

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I learned early in life. Friends were chosen irregardless of physical beauty. I've always thank God for not being super beautiful or ugly. I love how God made me to be. Being beautiful on the inside brings beauty to the outside. Most people don't care how you look on the outside--it's more important how good you make them feel.
Each person is God's masterpiece.

Your article was indeed very touching. I am a 25 year old girl married recently...I had been asking these questions myself this past week about why am I not so beautiful like people outside the christian community....what you wrote made me think positively and accept myself as I am and be happy coz...God still loves me....no matter why he didn't make me so beautiful as others......keep writing....God Bless!!

You are sooo right! We are all beautiful in our own way, even when we do feel fat and frumpy or however else we may feel! If we keep comparing ourselves to others, we can always make ourselves feel more and more insecure! We never know, others always see us differently to how we see ourselves, maybe we actually make others feel insecure because they see us as beautiful!! Now isn't that a thought?

Thank you.

As a pastor's wife, it's so helpful to know that other Christian women have "those" feelings too, and I (and others) shouldn't beat myself up for having them.

Your honest is greatly appreciated!

Amen, Ginger.

This was a terrific post! I laughed, I nodded in agreement, and doubly laughed at the double chin comment. I appreciate you candidness and thanks for giving me encouragment. We all stuggle with it, that's for sure.

Thanks again for the smile today!

that was a beautiful article. I cannot tell you how much I can identify with it. Truly , Ifeel a lot guilty for wanting to look pretty, and catch a bit of attention. My husband is an attractive man and I alwasy feel a bit... not good enough. thank you. I hold my head high now

Thanks for the article. I too had to get to the point...which is what I tell my girlfriends when they complain about the way they look is...you have to get to the point in your life where you say...I like myself the way I am. Yes we can always improve, but the truth is God looks at our hearts and that's the most important part of all. But I too at times dread the little pretty dresses in my closet that I wish I could look beautiful in, but after having babies things shift around. But just remember, God looks at our heart. Look in the mirror and say I look beautiful because God created me. I enjoyed your article.

Ginger
The good book says "be not conformed to the world's image " which is fading away, but "be renewed by the renewing of your mind reading God's Word ", {my paraphrase !}
Focus on Him & His transforming power; we are being changed from glory unto glory !
love, may God bless & keep,
jan

I just finished putting a decal on my bathroom mirror that says "You are precious." It was originally designed to be put over a baby's bed, but I bought it for my bathroom mirror. Sometimes I need to be reminded that God made me special and I am precious to Him!

I definitely identify with the author on this topic! This has been a struggle for me for most of my life, bringing all the inner turmoil and at times taking control of my life focus. Satan wants us girls to be so occupied with how we look, and tied up with negative feelings that we forget why we are here in the first place. God gave us legs, not to look nice, but to take His love and gospel to those who need it (and cellulite won't make a difference on this mission!). I can serve and share Christ with others no matter if my hair cooperated with me today or not. Girls, let's not let Satan win this battle, let's not listen to his lies. Instead, let's choose to focus on God's truth... "charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (Prov. 31:30)

It was good to hear that someone else struggles with the same issues I have. Often, I feel inadequate as a woman because I'm not a Cindy Crawford look-alike. I find that I need to hear my Husband tell me I'm gorgeous and I want him to look at me again as he did when we first began dating. Deep down I know I shouldn't need that sort of validation. When I do feel particularly low about the way I look, I remind myself that God has created me and He makes no mistakes.

Thank You for this article because it's still our problem. It is like fresh wind for my soul. Thank You, I feel better

Thank you.
Comparing ourselves to actresses and models who've had plastic surgery is crazy, but it can be hard not to do when the images are everywhere.
It's even harder if our husbands compare us to porn actresses instead of saying that we're pretty.
I'm grateful for friends who affirm me as I am, and I'm trying to learn from them and pass it on to others. We all need to validate each other!

Thank you, Ginger, a lot for sharing your life with other women. It was very encouraging for me to read your article.

I can so relate. Especially as we grow older and see our daughters who look so young and beautiful. I have found that focusing on and seeking to feel the love that God has for us truly helps us to love ourselves more.

Thank you Ginger!!! This was a very REAL blog, and extremely pertinent to my ministry. I am a Christian psychologist in Atlanta forging through the battleground with adolescents and women who fight their struggles with eating disorders. Your blog reflects the battle between culutural "truths" about how women (and adolescents) "should" be in relation to the REAL truth about how incomperably beautiful God has made them. We started a ministry in order to help fund individuals who need financial resources for inpatient eating disorder treatment (www.mannafund.org). Prayerfully and hopefully, this battle will soon be won!
I am going to share this with my clients. Thanks!

Wow, those could have been my exact words about my feelings (except for that part about the wrists.) Thank you for letting me know I am not alone in my inability/refusal to see the beauty God installed in me.

I loved the article!

The best antidote I've found for the cultural obsession with "beauty" is to meditate on the amazing fact that, as a believer, my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. (I Corinthians 6:19-20)

Not only am I a daughter of the king of the universe, the Holy Spirit lives within me.

Because the Spirit lives within me and because I am to present my body to the Lord as a living sacrifice, I am motivated to do what I can to give the Spirit a fitting home and to ensure that I am able to do whatever work the Lord calls me to do.

With this motivation I have FINALLY (at age 53!) found the motivation to change my eating habits (45 lbs gone & 45 to go) and to begin to change my exercise habits (just walking--not a "gym rat!")

I am not aiming to be movie-star beautiful! I am aiming to be healthy and well-groomed. We who believe are left on this earth to be salt & light in a dark world -- maintaining our bodies appropriately lets us do that better.

I want to end up being a "cool" old lady -- not "cool" in the world's terms -- but in God's. I want to be cool like the Proverbs 31 women:

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

Now, that's COOL!

Thanks for the article. I hope you can continue to see yourself more and more like God and your husband do: beautiful.

I could tell you that being a size 2 wouldn't make the world perfect for you, either, btw. Actually, I'm not a 2. Some 0s are too big for me. (Don't get sick!) Finding clothes that fit is a big frustration for me. I bought a bunch of patterns made to fit me from Unique Patterns (at great cost, I might add) to make my own clothes (so there!) just before I turned 50 and my bustline shifted. Now I have to adjust them all, or pay more to have the company adjust them--just for the privilege of making my own clothes (will it ever happen?) Now I'm afraid to fix them because I'm not sure if I'll use them before I need to adjust them more. Sigh.

The point is, we all have different challenges to work with, and God is right there to help us grow from learning to live with them.
One of the posters said "We can always improve." If that is true for you, a little improvement every day/ week/ month/ year will continue to pay off. If I can't improve my body much, I can improve my focus and attitude: Focus on what God wants from and for me so my attitude will reflect his glory instead of my insecurity. A good book that has helped me is "The Confident Woman" by Joyce Meyer. My confidence is in my relationship with God, not anything external.

Thanks again for addressing this relevant topic. God bless.

Another thing you might want to think about is the connection between what you eat and your emotional state. You said you felt fat and ugly one day and just fine the next. I suspect the outfit change wasn't the only difference from day 1 to day 2, but your weight shouldn't have changed significantly in that short time. What you eat and how you take care of yourself can make an incredible difference in emotional well-being. We all know being tired can make us cranky. Some substances make our bodies work harder to process them and cause similar stress. Caffeine makes me jittery. Wheat flour gives my sister headaches. Paying attention to what you've done to your body recently when you have down days might show you something your body doesn't react well to. Avoiding trigger foods can help you be your positive self more of the time. Just something to think about.

Thanks, Ginger, for sharing a part of you.
I can see the beautiful honest heart in you. Your message helps many of us women face the truth in each one and deal with the weakness the way God has taught us. When man looks at outward appearance, our God looks at the heart. So why settle much for the physical looks when what is essential is invisible to the eye. Besides, looks can be deceiving.

God bless you sister. sometimes i wonder why the outside world looks at christian women as streotype. i do feel the same as you once in a while but i just have to learn to encourage myself. Its sure nice to feel pretty. Thank you for this blog.

Your article was such a relief to me. It's difficult to talk about this issue as a Christian, and we really need to be talking about it. Perhaps by getting these feelings out in the open these feelings of insecurity will begin to loose their hold on us! It's such a paradox. I admire women who smile, who listen when others speak, and who care. Yet, one look in the mirror & I forget all that and focus on my physical flaws which should be far less important. Thanks for sharing this! I'm keeping a copy as a reminder!

Seeing how many woman responded to your blog story shows me that the "airbrushed/photoshopped" ARE really an optical illusion. It's taken me 56 years to begin to know what's really important - that He loves us as we are at ALL points in our lives. Thank you for sharing out loud what it seems, lots of us feel.

Thanks Ginger, even though I'm 59 1/2 I don't feel like it. Some of my best friends don't think I'm my age, but I do have the same insecurities that you pointed out. I do thank God for a husband who tells me I'm beautiful and that he would love me even though I had one leg or one arm or one eye, and I do thank God for him, he has never told me anything different since day one. We've been married for 26 years and I'm blessed. I thank God for that, and I sometimes I do feel guilty too, because God says in his word "I'm marvelously and wonderfully made" just one of me and no more, He broke the mold when He made me, Hallelujah. I'm so grateful Father who loves me.
Thank You again, Ginger for your honesty.

Thanks, Ginger, for your humility, brokenness, honesty.

Do you know when I finally accepted my "body?" The night before my double mastectomy surgery--cancer! (Diagnosed at 59--but having the tumor undeteced for 10 years.) I looked in the mirror and for the first time thanked God for making me just as He deemed perfect. I realized then, that every part of my body was good, beautiful, and that I had spent entirely too much time with insecurity over my small breasts.

Women, I ask that you thank Him, now, while you are cancer-free! Celebrate the goodness of God! Live life to the fullest! Even as a survivor, do it!

I'm so glad I clicked over here to read this post! Your honesty really resonated with my heart today.

But I disagree. Wanting "to feel pretty" isn't shallow. "Pretty" is what's valued by virtually our entire culture around us. How we react to a "pretty" person has been researched and the results are not...pretty. What you - and so many of the rest of us - want is to feel VALUED. And to feel that for ourselves. We just need to learn where to measure.

Thank you Ginger for posting this. I read the title and agree, 'sometimes, I just want to be pretty... is that desire so wrong?'
I don't think it's wrong, just as long as I'm not seeking others approval on what I'm wearing or what I look like. Which I'll admit, growing up I kept asking my sisters 'Does this look ok?' 'Is this good to wear?' 'How does this look?' Oh my goodness, it's not as bad now, well, b/c they're not around as much for me to ask them. lol. That's good, b/c I shouldn't be asking for approval from others.
I had to learn and still have to remind myself, although outside beauty is wonderful to have, character - Godly character - brings lasting change/impressions upon others.

Ultimately I want to impress upon others God's love, and that comes with having His character - whether I'm in my workout clothes or dressed up.

I see beauty as an attitude. It's how you carry yourself, w/ a new outfit on or something you threw on before leaving your house.
Beauty is in the kind words you speak, especially when you're being told you're out of style.
Beauty is saying 'I like me, b/c there is no one else like me and being grateful for life'.
And when you feel beautiful, go ahead and put on that dress and make up....
It only enhances what is already there...
You're BEAUTIFUL!!!
Thanks Ginger again for posting this. I think you're a beautiful person for your honesty.
God Bless you, ese

Thank you for your honesty. I enjoyed your article and your transparency. It's encouraging. Yea, we as women of God tend to struggle with our weight, appearance, and other things that distract us from growing on the inside. 1 Peter 3 is a great scripture that I use to comfort me during those times of insecurity. I do know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I also know that I have a responsibility to take care of this temple God has entrusted me with. So I do make better choices when it comes to eating and then exercising. I realize that I won't look like I did when I was 20 (now 41 years young), :) so I don't stress it! I do what I can to feel good and healthy. That's it. As far as feeling pretty...I trust that you know that you are beautiful in His sight. I think that counts for much!!

Much love to you.
Grace and Peace, Jeanine

Thanks, your article has being an answer to prayer :) I've been struggling with my self image ever since i had my first child, and i was feeling pretty bad because as a Christian, i'm supposed to be content no matter what, right? reading your words made me realize i'm just comparing myself to impossible standards, that it's ok to look the way i do, and that there's other women like me in the world (and that is comforting- i'm not so weird after all, LOL) Thank you for having the courage to write it,
God bless you,
Julie

Thanks for the article and you have inspired me to get a new outfit for church on Sunday as I am ushering!! Thanks for reminding that I am great despite physical flaws!!

Love, Norma

What do you (meaning me in this case) do when it's your very own husband who pressures you? We are attending a "country club" event where (he was told) the women compete to look the best during this particular party. So he wants me to "look hot" too.
I know he wants to be proud of his wife, and I understand totally, but I was hurt that he would even tell me this. Whenever we go out, or even when I know it's time for him to come home from work, I try to look good.....for him!! I'm not in a competition, but I feel like I am sometimes, especially after comments such as this.
I know he loves me and thinks I am beautiful...we have been together for over 30 years. But I have always felt like I was being compared to other women. Some of it is my own insecurity, but I think some is from this kind of attitude.
When I told him I'm not trying to compete, he said 'What about what I want?'.
I am torn between giving him what he wants and needs (because I am still very much in love with him and desire to please him) and just wanting to be accepted as I am.
Anyone care to share their thoughts with me?
Thanks so much!

Enjoyed your article & the many posts. I am 68 and hv had same struggle for yrs. My dear husband luvs me as am and tells me so. Helps much. Self talk is imp - we are not to put selves down. God does not make junk. Be glad if small breasted - these days I'd like to have boob job to take some off - esp if I lose wt so not fall down to knees. LOL - I prob oldest to comment. Hugs to all - who u are is God's gift to u

I've sometimes felt and been very attractive but in time each partner has hurt me by making terrible comments even 'ugly'. Now I yearn painfully to dress up and be beautiful for one more time but instead I'm alone with plenty of ironed clothes crying

thanks for putting on paper what (as most of the others have posted) I have felt.

Amen!

GINGER DEAR,
I JUST RAN INTO YOUR ARTICLE TODAY AND GIRL!!, DID YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD!!!

I CAN NOW STAND IN FRONT OF MY MIRROR AND ASK - MIRROR, MIRROR, WHO IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON ON EARTH - YOU KNOW MY ANSWER - ME!!! AND I AM 49 YEARS OLD AT THAT!!!