Family Stories
How tapping into their power has transformed me
At the sound of his first word, my throat tightened, and my eyes smarted with tears. I hadn’t heard my Norwegian grandfather speak since he’d passed away 30 years ago at age 89.
Yet Grandpa Johnson’s voice—and the bittersweet memories it evoked—flooded my life recently during a visit to my parents. As we sat together in their sunroom, Dad revealed he’d “interviewed” his father before his death to preserve precious family stories. “Would you like to hear our conversation?” my father asked tentatively. “Sure, Dad,” I replied. So he dug out the old audiotape, plopped it into a tape recorder, then pressed “play.”
Suddenly, Grandpa Johnson seemed to have returned from the grave to share his tales. Over the tape’s rattle and hum, I listened to my father’s questions and noted his skill at guiding my grandfather’s rambling. So Dad’s the one who gave me the interviewing gene, I thought proudly. In his familiar accent, Grandpa Johnson recounted his childhood in a village on Norway’s rocky western coast. With stoic Scandinavian style, he recalled how, as a 16-year-old cod fisherman, he’d sailed Iceland’s coastal seas and survived a storm unlike any the seasoned fishermen on board had seen before! Soon after, my grandfather had survived a life-threatening bout with pneumonia, too. He described how he’d slowly recuperated, hiking mountain trails to regain his stamina, lying down often to rest and staring up at the cloud-filled, Nordic blue sky. Perhaps my deep love for mountains is part of my DNA, I thought.
His stories progressed; he spoke of immigration, of love, of the constant quest for work, then of the Great Depression’s devastating losses. As I listened, I felt both embarrassment for my life’s ease, and inspiration from my grandfather’s strength. His stories, steeped with reminders of his faith in God, began changing my attitude toward my comparatively insignificant trials. Grandpa Johnson’s words gave me hope that I, too, could meet adversity with courage and perseverance.
Then, all too soon, the spinning tape stopped; my grandfather’s voice receded again into memory. And suddenly I realized how often I’ve let slip opportunities to preserve family stories for future generations. Several years ago, my husband’s Aunt Maria regaled him and me with tales of her Sicilian childhood and strict Italian mother, the grandmother my husband hadn’t really known. He’d never heard those stories before—and may never again. If only I could go back to record them! And countless times my mother has reconstructed the colorful, happy details of her youth. I’m familiar with her stories now; but someday, when carrying on this oral tradition, will my memory fall short?
I understand my dad’s reasons for preserving his father’s stories. Capturing the personality and history of loved ones holds such poignancy. But sharing family stories also unleashes transformative power. As a middle-aged wife and mom, I’m only now discovering how the storylines running through my family members’ lives—past and present—contribute to mine. I wouldn’t have certain insights or inspiration if I hadn’t paid attention to those accounts.
Family will always form who we are—even if we’d rather disown than embrace our histories. But thankfully, once God enters a family’s story, he courses through the plotlines, colors the details, and transforms our identities.
I’ll be watching for such evidence when my husband and I travel to Florida soon to celebrate his father’s 90th birthday. I’m planning to tuck away a little recorder, and find a quiet moment to dust off my latent interviewing skills with my in-laws. I don’t want to regret waiting too long and being too late.
Then someday I’ll share these treasured stories—and others—with my two daughters. Because I want my girls to understand how their family has shaped them. But most important, because I want them to hear how God has underscored our continuing family story with his grace.
Blessings,
What are the significant stories in your family’s history? How has hearing them affected you?
Posted at 1:31 PM on June 9, 2008.
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Do you have family members that you really love, but seldom get to spend time alone with? My Uncle Joe is one of those people. In spite of knowing him for all of my life, I had never really gotten the chance to sit down and have any kind of in-depth conversation with him. Everytime we were together, we were surrounded by other relatives with everyone talking at once (as many families do). In March, my sons and I traveled from our home in AZ to my sister's home in LA. As I was enjoying the time with my sister, I felt the Lord imploring me to make the five-hour drive to go visit my Uncle Joe who is battling lung cancer. I knew that it would be a quick trip, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that I really needed to go. I'm so glad I did! I got to sit down with my Uncle Joe and truly spend time together, just the two of us. He told me all about his childhood on the farm and his years in the military. He told me stories I had never heard before. We talked about politics and religion, and we talked about Jesus and whether he was ready to meet him. He gave me the honor of praying for him, and he cried. It was a tremendous blessing for both of us. The very next day, his health took a major hit and, as of today, it appears the cancer could take his life anytime. I'm so glad God gave us that special time together. I wish I had thought to record our conversation, but I have it stored in my heart.
Posted by: Lee Merrill on June 9, 2008
Jane,
You story was wonderful and brought tears to my eyes.
May I make a suggestion? Make a CD of your father's tape recording to keep always. You could make copies for your family members too. Tapes deteriorate but you can have it burned to a CD and they will even erase the humming and static.
I wish I had a tape of my grandmother's memories. She was the only real mother I ever had. But I know that she is in heaven celebrating with her Lord. I will see her when I get there,
Blessings,
Desiree Pheister
Posted by: Desiree on June 13, 2008
My families stories are incredibly important for many reasons, one of which is because my grandparents raised me and so I never really got to know my parents' personalities and own personal histories in their own words. And another reason is because my grandparents have such a ruch and colorful history. Thank God all four of them are still alive and well and all in their 80s with no major health problems! They migrated to Texas from different parts of Mexico. One has some French ancestory, another has Spanish ancestory, and yet another has Aztec Indian ancestory. I love to hear about my grandparents growing up with their own families traditions, customs, and rituals. How they came to the United States and worked as migrant farmer workers and eventually saved enough to own their land and start a family and send all their children to school as none of my grandparents were able to go themselves. I want to preserve my grandmothers' time-honored recipes and unique healing home remedies. And remember everything can about everything they shared me with me over my 35 years of life, while they are still alive.
Posted by: Sandra on June 13, 2008
My mother left a rich legacy of songs to us. There were songs she sang when we were little and hymns from working around the house. Music was very much a part of all our lives and we were fortunate to sing the same lullabys to our own children and grandchildren. She taped a narrative of her life and sang the old songs during the last six months of her life. Her faith was contagious and now my husband, children and grandchildren practice those same songs & faith. Praise God for His wonderful grace.
Posted by: Sally Knower on June 13, 2008
Wow - you just triggered a long buried memory of my grandfather telling stories for the grandkids into cassette tapes. I just sent an email to my folks to see if they're still around. I wouldn't want to lose those!
Thanks for the reminder! :)
Posted by: Lundie on June 13, 2008
I am so inspired. to get my tape recorder out and sit down with my mom and dad and just listen to them and their stories..they are 88 and 89 and not in good heath...thanks so much for your wonderful story...sandi
Posted by: SANDI KILLIAN on June 13, 2008
Thank you so much for this story. How touching. I wish I could hear that tape recording! It sounds so interesting and inspiring. Maybe you could make it into a book. Good, true stories like that are sometimes hard to find. Oh, have you ever read "First We Have Coffee"? It's a wonderful book about a lady that grew up as a daughter of Norwegian immigrants. I think you'd really like it.
Posted by: Dena on June 13, 2008
My mom has a tape of some of my aunts and uncles gathered arund her kitchen table telling stories about the family. She is the only one from that tape still living. She treasures it...
Her twin sister self-published a book about their lives growing up during the Depression, and some stories from beyond. That's another good option for recording family history.
My dad's side appears to be more interesting (and controversial!) but much less documented.
I sometimes wish that I had been born sooner to have the benefit of knowing the relatives that all my siblings speak of. My mom was 45 when I was born. My sister was graduating from college! Between her childhood and mine, many relatives died. She and my brothers can revel in old stories about so-and-so, and I can only listen because I don't know who they're talking about! But I get glimpses through the stories...
Posted by: Beth on June 14, 2008