I didn't know there was a husband aprreciation day. I see what your saying. But I believe God made women stronger emotionally to hold the family together. Women didn't work many years ago and I think that was because women already had a lot to handle. I'm a stay at home mom and my husband works. We live on only 18,000. a year and it is tough, but I know he works hard so it is enough to get by. I have been married 13 years, we have learned to compromise over the years and our marriage has been a happy one. I see us as equal, he has his job and I have mine at home. I think praying together also makes the big difference in our lives.

I didn't realize this day existed until today. I would have loved to have done something extra special for my husband. I agree that most of us take that give and get attitude and I know I could work on that myself. I think it was Dr.Phil, but I'm not sure because I don't watch him that often. I remember him saying something to the affect of wouldn't it be nice it we each woke up and asked ourselves what we could do to show our spouse support and love each and every day and make them feel special. I think that is a neat idea. I think that is a good way of looking at our relationship with God as well. Getting up each day and asking what can I do to show God how much he means to me today and how much I love him.

My husband took a day "off" from work yesterday. He spent half of it on the roof scooping leaves out of the rain gutters and the other half taking care of our cars and removing a mouse nest from one of the air-conditioning ducts. Then he took the family out for dinner.
My husband never empties the trash, helps with the dishes, or folds laundry. That's okay with me because he does things I never could do. I agree, a husband's contributions often go overlooked especially around the house. Thanks for the reminder to express my appreciation for all he does!

Ginger, thank you for this sensitive and humble thought about husbands and all they do for us.
We are called to love unconditionally, as the truth of the whole Bible states. And, as it clearly says in Ephesians 5:33, we are called to respect our husbands unconditionally. Even if our husbands don't take time to listen, even if they are harsh, even if they don't get us. Even if they don't seem to love us, we are called to respect and love unconditionally.
This is the truth of scripture, not the voice of our culture. So thanks for bringing a river of cultural selfishness under the bridge of scriptural stability.

This article moved me to different emotions. I don't disagree with either women in the conversation, so I had to sit for a moment and figure out where my discomfort was rooted.

After re-reading the article, I felt uncomfortable with:
1. The discussion with the Pastor regarding the differences between Mother's Day and Father's Day: A Pastor who approaches those Special Days with those difference seems to miss the purpose of the day. BOTH Mothers and Fathers have huge responsibilities, and BOTH Mothers and Fathers are huge blessings. Now the differences in the way they spend the day is typical of the differences between men and women - I don't think my husband would appreciate flowers as much as uninterrupted DVR time.

2. Your friend's "snarky" tone: I took her remark as a definite sign of a deficit in being nurtured as a wife and mother. I didn't think she was aiming at a "Give to Get" mentality, maybe she was, but to me she seemed to be in need of some nurturing, and relief from resentment. It's easier for women and wives to think of a "Husband Appreciation Day", then the other way around.

I agree with the fallacy of the "Give to Get" attitude, and I agree that my husband needs to be appreciated for all he does as the leader of our family, so I completely understood the point of your editorial. I just think that the aforementioned example could have been used in a different editorial. I would have missed the point because I was more affected by your friend's attitude, and felt badly that some Pastors don't give Father's the same tribute as Mother's on their Special Days.

Maybe if we learned how to "Give" and to "Receive", then we wouldn't have to struggle with the concept of "Getting". That's just my thoughts.

I, too, did not realize there was a husband appreciation day. I usually take our anniversary as my day to appreciate my husband, and father's day to appreciate him as a dad, and then his birthday to appreciate him as a person. I do agree that we need to change our mentality, the 50-50 give and take thing. It is 100% from me, that's it. My husband also gives 100, and that is where I am blessed. We will be celebrating our 20th anniversary this year, and even though we have had our challenges, I don't think I appreciate him enough for what he has done.
However, I do have to disagree with the previous post when she said that women didn't work many years ago. That is not true, they worked very hard outside the home in the gardens. If they didn't plant gardens, their families would not have food to eat. That was their work outside the home. Everything was made from scratch, they didn't have the opportunity to pick up a fruit plate already assembled from the grocery store. They were with each other during child birth, through raising their families, through death. I believe they worked even harder than we do today. I work part-time outside the home to meet financial needs, but I love being at home with my kids (who are now entering their teens). I do miss the relationship building part of being a woman because so many moms work. I don't always know what is happening in my friends' lives because weeks can pass due to business. Years ago women had each other to rely on, today we have to search hard for someone we can depend on outside of our spouses. I do agree that praying together is the key, not only for each other, but also for your kids.

Husbands should be appreciated, affirmed and honored. They need it. If they would hear and learn how much we appreciate even the insignificant things they do, they would always try do things that make us happy... that will make our marriage blissful and at peace. Even if their output is not rated A, still we should appreciate their efforts... and if we (as wives) can support them (by praying much for them) and help them perform better, then they would really feel very important as we can uplift them. Love is all that matters... faithful, constant and forever.

Dear Ginger:

It was interesting for me to read of the conversation with your friend. Either materialism, too much security, take-it (or him)-for granted mentality, bitter, sarcastic tone, or an vacant vision of Christ and the church metaphor for marriage and/or lack of a kind and soft heart of your friend, or else this is not the kind of woman I really want to spend my days around anyway, has shown that you've probably learned more about your friend than you expected you would.

If she didn't get the sentiment of your message, you've got the wrong audience. Maybe years from now, she'll remember your words if God should work your message into her heart.

I'm now 51 years old. My first husband died when I was 33 after 12 years of marriage, and my next marriage (11 years later) was to a violent Christian man and it ended in a short and very painful marriage/divorce six years ago. We have since been able to remain distant friends.

I do know women like your friend and honestly, I won't waste my valuable time around an attitude like that. Let the Lord do the work, you keep loving your husband like you do with God's blessing! I personally think it sounds like a GREAT DAY!

See you at the wedding feast!
Bonnie J
Michigan

This is a wonderful idea. Men really dont get enough appreciation from their wives. A coworker of mine and I were discussing tonight at work, how the roles of husband and wife seem to have gotten reversed somehow or tied. Nowadays, both husband and wives work in order to afford their expensive lifestyles. What happened to the way God designed things. Our world, our culture has strayed so far from the natural origin of things. Call me old fashioned, but I still believe the man should be the head, and the bread winner. That is the way it's supposed to be. Women would appreciate their husbands more if they stayed home, and men would appreciate their wives more also. Then we equally would be able to fill our roles as God designed without adding extra stress to the household and marriage. No wonder the divorce rate is so high. The foundation of family and marriage is so whacked up! Lord help us to get back to the basics! The fundamentals of your design! =)

Dear Ginger,
I didn't know about that day - neither seemed anyone else. WHEN IS IT? I'll see to it next year then. But actually - maybe, we do it anyway. As husbands do. I know, some are clumsy with it - but that is the bit of boyishness which real men never lose - and which is sweet.
As for your friend - sorry, really better: acquiantance- is she married? Has she got family? Or is she one of those who have moved from home to the "big world of office freedom". I always think of "Sex and the City" with that kind - quite a bit trashy. Forget her. - Or: can you help her? I know: only if she let's you. But.. maybe, worth a try.
I know. we value each other - and that should be so. Mother's Day - yes, it's much more celebrted than Father's. We should change that. Then we could just go for a: Spouses Appreciation Day - or simply Family Appreciation Day. Yes - I think that's what we'd need most in these times when "the destruction of marriage and family is the most important aim of the modern women's movement", according to N.O.W. Did Bettie Friedan really want that? I don't know. But I don't want it. And neither does the vast majority of us.
Joan

Sometimes I'm distressed hearing younger women talk about 'the good old days' when women stayed home. That was a blessing for a minority of women in the 20th century. Women worked the clothing mills, the canneries, the health care, schools, they picked cotton, did domestic work, waitresses, and sales clerk. I could go on and on but I tried to show how ubiquitous women workers were (and are). Talk with the senior women - how did they see their role in the family, their husbands role. Senior women are pure gold - mine them. Ask them. Learn. I promise you will appreciate your husband (and yourself) more. Lana

Husbands that are honoring their God given roles should be appreciated, especially when they lovingly accept the responsibilities that they are to be trusted to. Today's 'expectance' of wives to be the role of a wife, mother, AND much more is not fair to women. Maybe the reason so many women today are feeling exhausted is because we are not living our lives with the roles God designed us for. Unfortunately, some men accept their given right to be the head of the household, BUT expect the wife to do more than her fair share to help him accomplish this.

I remember when I was able to be a stay at home mom, my life felt much more purpose driven and the priorities were always clear. It was much easier to appreciate my husband. To please my husband (his view: one income is not realistic in this day and time and I need to help pay the bills), so I now work outside the home and for years I have felt torn in all directions and very exhausted. Unfortunately, deep down I know I feel "less" appreciation for my husband with these added burdens.

"Even if a husband is harsh?" I don't think that respecting and loving one's spouse calls for checking one's intellect and dignity at the door. What a dangerous example for our young daughters to see!

Marriage is a work in progress, which should echo God's relationship to each of us--and God is too much of a gentleman to me, to use verbal insults to get His way.

I love the idea of a Husband Apreciation Day--and I think it should be a real holiday, as in day off, just for the guys!

But, I'll stay single if being a good Christian involves allowing myself to be trampled on.

I never heard of Husband Appreciation Day until now, but any reminder for me to show my husband how much I value him is a good thing. Wife Appreciation Day should not be my concern.

In my new book, "Stepping into the Light: You're a Christian, what now?" (www.steppingintothelight.net) I note that seeing through "new eyes" as a born again believer includes a fresh appreciation for my husband and thanking God for him. My marriage vows are not just between me and my husband, we promised God that we'd love each other.

We need to model the behaviour that we want from others, and not just as a "give to get" exercise. I love my husband and need my husband, therefore I should show him in ways that he can appreciate. End of story. Reciprocation is his concern, not mine.

"Nowadays, both husband and wives work in order to afford their expensive lifestyles."

I just wanted to point out that, while that is true in some cases, most families I know work two or three jobs to afford the necessities of life--a safe home, decent and safe schools, food, and gas.

I agree, I have to say I have the best husband I could have ever prayed for... yes, he doesn't always put things back, and yes he rarely goes to the grocery store... BUT, he is there for me emotionally, he puts up with me when I am moody, he loves me not matter what... and I never hear him complain! We need to remember what our husbands do, and stop complaining about what they don't do...

I never knew about this day 'till today, and I don't celebrate father's day because we're not parents yet. Wow and I'm sitting there complaining about what I do and what he doesn't do, when in fact he does almost everything there is in the house. My husband cooks, cleans, washes dishes, you name it. But I never show appreciation; I'm always thinking, "We leave together, so we share the work". We both have job outside the home and when we come home we do it all. I'm definitely going to take note of this day and do something special for my honey, because he deserves it. Thank you Ginger

Words cannot express how I feel right now. First I want to say that I am so happy that you wrote this. GOd Bless YOu. I realized that I had the same attitude as your friend. I want to say thank you because you helped me today to get delivered from this mentality and helped me to embrace a new way of looking at my marriage. I did not know this day existed and I don't know when it is but I am going to make sure in some way it is everyday for my husband and I. I am at home while he is at work. We have 5 children and it is not easy. For the past two years of our marriage, I have been angry and fussy. But he has been the most patient person ever. I thank you again. Today is my new beginning with God and my husband. God Bless You Ginger.

How sad and a bit pathetic that we would need a designated day to show our husbands the value of their lives when in all truth, that is how we are supposed to living each day according to scripture. As a society we are very good at "adding one more thing" to the pot because it looks good and it's something to strike off our "to do" list. How about fine tuning our hearing to the Voice of God, and follow His leading so that we can be open vessels, ready to act and respond to any day our husbands might need that extra blessing.

I am not sure if the LORD sees my marriage. My husband is a non believer . We did not get married in the church. We got married by a judge. Does the LORD recognize this marriage?

There is a wife appreciation day and I believe all wives deserve it. It is on the third Saturday of September of each year. So that would be 9/20/08.

It is sad that we need one day to remind us to celebrate anyone - husbands, mothers, lovers or grandparents. But taking a day to celebrate a little extra certainly doesn't hurt. I get so saddened by the 50-50 thing. We get so busy trying to get what we want, we forget to give what they need. This was a great article. Thanks for the reminder. My husband is working on our anniversary this year. I think I'll make it our Husband Appreciation Day when he gets home. ;)

Can anybody tell me the date in April that is set aside for our husbands?

I am so glad to hear there is a day that is dedicated to our husbands. I think they really deserve it!
I hear so much male bashing now-a-days. It makes me so sad to hear all of these wives criticizing our husbands.
My husband works very hard and most of all he loves and respects me, loves me unconditionally, and forgives me when I do some mean or unkind (I ask him to forgive me). He is AMAZING!
Thank you, Ginger, for writing this BLOG to sound the alert for a day to honor and appreciate our hubbys!

My husband and I actually split Valentines Day and Sweetest Day. Valentines is more for me (although he is acknowledged) and Sweetest Day is more for him.

I would love to have known about Husband Appreciation Day...My husband is the stay at home dad that home schools our children as well as going back to college. He also takes care of the laundry, meals, sick children, house cleaning, grocery shopping, doctor visits, practices, and he is very good at it. I don't think that I show him my grattitude enough. I try to thank him but I don't if he really realizes how much I love him for all he sacrifices.

I work outside the home and I am back in college as well. So I don't have alot of extra time but I don't have to worriy because of my terrific husband.

Thanks for the article and making me stop and appreciate my husband today!

Sandra, I absolutely believe that the Lord sees your marriage. If you are a Christian, well even if you are not, I encourage to continue to seek Jesus and lift your marriage up to Him in prayer ... amazing things happen when we do that!

It is so nice to know that I can do something special just for my husband on Husband Appreciation Day. And, God knows that I appreciate my husband each and every day. Like most marriages we have had our ups and downs, but I must admit that the ups have been greater than the downs. I like the idea of giving him a day that is only for him, with him not having to do anything but rely on me to do all that makes him happy, because he makes me happy each day and I am constantly thanking God for him. Oh...gotta go my hubby is picking me up from work.

I am a dad and husband. My beautiful wife is awesome, and gives of her time and energies to everyone in the family and to her job. She is gifted in so many ways that I am not. I am not inclined to need constant appeciation from my wife and kids. But as a man I thrive and grown in strength knowing that my wife loves me and wants me. Nuff said.

Sandra:

I do believe the Lord recognizes your marriage although you were married by a judge. Please, anyone correct me if I am wrong. How sad no one answered your question already. I will pray for you and your husband. God bless!

I never knew there was a real day set aside for men to be appreciated . I think this is so awesome. I love my husband very much his spirit intreeges me all the time, I love his inner strength when I say something that hurts his feels, how he will even shed a tear. I love my husbands ability to be vulnerable with me, it doesn't happen to often but when he does it always shocks me to tears or a big smile. He is a very good listener, and I love him so much for that, because most men don't take the time to care about what is important to us women but my sweety makes a very serious effort to try, even if it takes a couple of explanations for him to get it. He is not afraid to say I love you and says it often. I think the masculane things are always going to be what a man does that is his responsibility from God but to love your wife is a place we try very hard to take serious and keep alive. I love him when he prays for me, and sends me an email with a few sentences from his heart of how much the little things I do that are just me touch him the most. Like just standing by him during a tuff time and encouraging him , motivating him and trusting him, those things I've learned mean a lot to a man. To know his woman will have his back in a criss, and help encourage him through it instead of critcizing him as a failure, by our words. believe me I did that and it hurt him so bad, to think I didn't trust or have confidence in him and couldn't support him when the chips were real bad. Men have a real hard time expressing there self and I tell my Husband I want that more from him and he has started doing that, but it's when you least expect it they will do it . When it happens I just smile and give them big kudos, and tell them how proud you are of them and anything they do that is a struggle really is. I've learned when they step out of that shell to open up, how we respond can either send them back or make them come out more. So I have learned and grown through our struggles and we talk about the mistakes and learn from them. We realize we are all weak in some area , but it takes a strong person to say I forgive you and I'm sorry and a stronger one to recieve the forgivness and apology from the person. I'm telling you we have both cried over words said because of misunderstandings and fear. We have both promised to strive hard for complete clarity in our communication to one another and not jump to conclusions over things. So Thank you for caring about your Husband enough to remind us women there are special qualities each of our mates have that make them different and we should let them know what it is about them we appreciate just as much as we want it for ourselves.

Denise James or DJ is what he calls me

Proverbs 31:10 (Living Insights study bible) states that: A wife of noble character who can find? It is quite difficult to meet the standards of the noble wife, but God has given us the example here. If we read the 10th-29th verses you will see that it is the wife that does the work that brings honor to her husband, plus God doesn't judge us by what he does, but by what we do. If we continue to pray for our husbands as we should they will become the men of valor that God has called him to be, the sanctified wife is to sanctify her husband.

I had no idea that this day existed either and I am learning that it is important for us to love , honor and respect our husbands. It's easy to take a great husband for granted sometimes and these great articles keeps us in step with God's will for us as wives to continue to encourage our husbands and cheer alongside him as he loves us as Christ loved the church!

My wife is so caring in so much that sometimes I wonder why I didnt meet her 10 years ago.It is not easy for women to cope in our small democracy in South Africa.She sings opera and gospel but cannot find a job or sponsor to record an album but nevertheless she is strong and positive.She supports me in God's work whereas we dont have a living wage.If you have seen such a women you are blessed.

Thank you so much Ginger for this wonderfull article and ladies for your inspiring comments. i've been going through a really rough time in my marriege this year. I earn eight times what my husband earns so I'm basically the bread winner in our home. We started experiencing financial problems this year as his salary was reduced even more and he could do even less financially. We had to let our housekeeper go and I have had that added to my already full plate. I found that I was beginning to resent him for letting me suffer through having to do both a man and a woman's job in the household and was starting to see him as not being man enough. This article has reinforced what God has been whispering into my soul all along "Love is servanthood without expectation" God did not first look at whether we deserved it before sending His only son to die for us. He did it because He loved us. Likewise I've learnt that I have to love, honour and respect my husband and that love is not dependant on what I get in return. It is not for me to try and change my husband into what I think he should be. My part is to serve him wholeheartedly and to pray for God to chane our situation for the better. This article is just what I needed today. God Bless you Ginger.

It is so wonderful that the attention of women is being summoned to the issue of appreciating their husbands. Any thing you appreciate in life will apprciate in value. Conversely, any thing you do not appreciate will depreciate. Men are conquerors who like to conquer. By this I mean they like to achieve things for their loved ones. When their little little conquests are appreciated and applauded, they tend to exert themselves for more conquests. When their conquests are not apprecated, they turn their attention away. This appreciation thing deserves a day in a year but more than that, it is better if it is inculcated into our lifestyle.

I truly appreciate you for this article and I totally agree that we need to appreciate our husbands for those little things they do for us which is very easy to take for granted. I have an 8 - 5 job but my husband runs his own business but every morning he washes my car apart from doing house chores which i can't take care of on my own.

I am going to introduce this day to my fellow sisters in my local church and probably organise a special programme whereby women can openly appreciate their husbands. I believe it's more blessed to give than to receive and when you show appreciation to your husband, he will also appreciate you.

Thank you for the interesting article. I agree that husbands often need some "kudos" as reassurance that they are doing a good job. It is nice that they have come up with a "holiday" to honor it but we need to celebrate our spouse more than just once a year. As partners in a marriage we are united by God and need to honor Him by showing our love, appreciation and respect to our spouses for all that they bring to this union. We need to treat them as we would like them to treat us. Isn't that what Jesus taught and did? Thank you for sharing!!
Warmly,
Rose Dunkerley, Beaver Falls, PA

What a great idea! I have never heard of Husband Appreciation Day, but I definitely want to honor my husband this year by letting him know how much he means to me. I agree with many of the women on here, I do the majority of the housework but I never have to mow the lawn, collect leaves, maintenance the cars, or fix things around the house. Although there is a special day set aside to honor our husbands, I think more often we should make an effort to recognize and let them know how much we love and appreciate them for who they are.

thank too much for your wonderful article.while husbands appreciation day is agreat thing and a wonderful one at that.all couples should be thoutht to appreciate each other generously everyday,all day long,nothing should be taken for grated,we all have the tendency of undervalue our spouses.Youwant appreciation, i have it,i desire it; you can give can give it,why not given it to each other,it has know overdose,no price tag,it is tax free,no side effect,and have no expiring date.the need for appreciation are part of the attrbute we inhericted from God as God alwys want to be praised and appreciated,no marriage can deprecite in the presence of daily doses of generous appreciation.never allow the sun to set today before you find a reason to appreciate your spouse,just be thouthtful and humble you will find too many reasons to appreciate your wonderful wife/husband

I think we should appreciate our husbands (our children, our friends and particularly our God) everyday. Everyday, we should thank God for them and show them respect which is what we wives have been asked specifically by God to do.

How does all this apply when your husband is an alcoholic? I appreciate him so much, as God commands in the scriptures. But when he starts drinking at 12 or 1 p.m., by night time, I can hardly stand to be in the same room with him.
He totally changes. I pray about it without ceasing. I was married the first time in an abusive marriage for 5 years before I got out. He was not a Christian. My husband now (married almost 28 years) is a Christian so I have stayed. He is not physically abusive, but he is verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive. I'm definitely not perfect, especially when he's intoxicated, but it's having an adverse affect on how I view him. I would appreciate anyone's thoughts. God Bless you all.

I get uncomfortable when Christians talk about gender roles. Of course, men and women are unique, but I think we frequently read much more into the Bible about men and women than is really there. Many Christians don't realize what they call "Biblical roles" are really cultural roles handed down over the centuries.

Now, I do think husbands need to be appreciated. Very much so. Also, as Christians, we're called to do for others without thinking about what is done for us, even if it is human nature to think about ourselves. Anyway, I wish the author had taken the time to talk to her friend about what her friend meant. Instead, the author was more concerned about her own viewpoint. See any contradiction there? Seek to understand, not to be understood.

I love this idea - never heard of it before! I actually started a Husband Appreciation book, where I chronicle different special things my hubby does, or areas I see he's really trying in. He has never seen the book, but it keeps me positive when rocky times hit (I can see he really ISN'T such a schmuck!), and I do pointedly mention to him some of the things I've noticed, either verbally or write him a nice note to leave on his pillow. I agree, husbands do need extra strokes for their hard work, and all the pressure on them. And I'm afraid I don't think I would have been so gracious with my friend...!

My hubby is brag-worthy too. He always does thoughtful things for me - picking up a dragonfly something-or-other to add to my collection for no reason, always calls when he's going to be late, takes my feelings into consideration over 99% of everything (hey, he's not perfect!), makes our family priority over everything else...too much to list here. We've been married 19 years later this month, and I love him so very much that I think he deserves a special day all his own!

Ginger, I want to thank you for the article. I too did not know about this day, and I plan to acknowledge it by putting it into practice in my life with me and my husband. I agree that
my God, Jehovah, and Jesus Christ is the answer to perfecting a marriage and making it strong and everlasting. Too often we get tangled up into our own selves and forget that it is not all about us. I will say to any women who have good men in today's time, to love him with all that is in you. Appreciating the love and care of a great man should be easy to do. Let's just do it. My husband takes care of all of my needs. I can't believe that I spend time wondering about the insignificant things that he does not do! THANKS FOR THE WAKE UP CALL. I WILL IMMEDIATELY TAKE ACTION ON THIS RIGHT AWAY. AND I WON'T LEAVE OUT THE LOVE OF GOD, I WILL USE HIS LOVE TO LOVE HIM BACK AND TO BLESS MY HUSBAND BY.

Linda from
Virginia

This is for you Sandra.God does recognize your marriage.He is also very interested in your marriage.if you are a christian,then i advise you to seek a group in church that could help stand with you in prayers for your husbands salvation as well as for interractions.

Okay, SO ..... has anyone identified yet WHAT DATE IS HUSBAND APPRECIATION DAY ?!

And, is it strange to have so many hangups over the subject of this day, or is it always like this on here when any issue is raised?
I think as women we are more likely than our men to be resentful that WE aren't shown the appreciation we feel we deserve, so it's not as easy to WANT to set aside a special day to appreciate him - maybe we feel that's all we ever do!

I did not know that there was a day like that but I wish I did. My husband and I just hit our 4th year aniv. He does so much though out the year that I could never do enough for him. I thank God everyday for him even on our bad days when we can't seem to agree on anything.