I didn't know there was a husband aprreciation day. I see what your saying. But I believe God made women stronger emotionally to hold the family together. Women didn't work many years ago and I think that was because women already had a lot to handle. I'm a stay at home mom and my husband works. We live on only 18,000. a year and it is tough, but I know he works hard so it is enough to get by. I have been married 13 years, we have learned to compromise over the years and our marriage has been a happy one. I see us as equal, he has his job and I have mine at home. I think praying together also makes the big difference in our lives.

I didn't realize this day existed until today. I would have loved to have done something extra special for my husband. I agree that most of us take that give and get attitude and I know I could work on that myself. I think it was Dr.Phil, but I'm not sure because I don't watch him that often. I remember him saying something to the affect of wouldn't it be nice it we each woke up and asked ourselves what we could do to show our spouse support and love each and every day and make them feel special. I think that is a neat idea. I think that is a good way of looking at our relationship with God as well. Getting up each day and asking what can I do to show God how much he means to me today and how much I love him.

My husband took a day "off" from work yesterday. He spent half of it on the roof scooping leaves out of the rain gutters and the other half taking care of our cars and removing a mouse nest from one of the air-conditioning ducts. Then he took the family out for dinner.
My husband never empties the trash, helps with the dishes, or folds laundry. That's okay with me because he does things I never could do. I agree, a husband's contributions often go overlooked especially around the house. Thanks for the reminder to express my appreciation for all he does!

Ginger, thank you for this sensitive and humble thought about husbands and all they do for us.
We are called to love unconditionally, as the truth of the whole Bible states. And, as it clearly says in Ephesians 5:33, we are called to respect our husbands unconditionally. Even if our husbands don't take time to listen, even if they are harsh, even if they don't get us. Even if they don't seem to love us, we are called to respect and love unconditionally.
This is the truth of scripture, not the voice of our culture. So thanks for bringing a river of cultural selfishness under the bridge of scriptural stability.

This article moved me to different emotions. I don't disagree with either women in the conversation, so I had to sit for a moment and figure out where my discomfort was rooted.

After re-reading the article, I felt uncomfortable with:
1. The discussion with the Pastor regarding the differences between Mother's Day and Father's Day: A Pastor who approaches those Special Days with those difference seems to miss the purpose of the day. BOTH Mothers and Fathers have huge responsibilities, and BOTH Mothers and Fathers are huge blessings. Now the differences in the way they spend the day is typical of the differences between men and women - I don't think my husband would appreciate flowers as much as uninterrupted DVR time.

2. Your friend's "snarky" tone: I took her remark as a definite sign of a deficit in being nurtured as a wife and mother. I didn't think she was aiming at a "Give to Get" mentality, maybe she was, but to me she seemed to be in need of some nurturing, and relief from resentment. It's easier for women and wives to think of a "Husband Appreciation Day", then the other way around.

I agree with the fallacy of the "Give to Get" attitude, and I agree that my husband needs to be appreciated for all he does as the leader of our family, so I completely understood the point of your editorial. I just think that the aforementioned example could have been used in a different editorial. I would have missed the point because I was more affected by your friend's attitude, and felt badly that some Pastors don't give Father's the same tribute as Mother's on their Special Days.

Maybe if we learned how to "Give" and to "Receive", then we wouldn't have to struggle with the concept of "Getting". That's just my thoughts.

I, too, did not realize there was a husband appreciation day. I usually take our anniversary as my day to appreciate my husband, and father's day to appreciate him as a dad, and then his birthday to appreciate him as a person. I do agree that we need to change our mentality, the 50-50 give and take thing. It is 100% from me, that's it. My husband also gives 100, and that is where I am blessed. We will be celebrating our 20th anniversary this year, and even though we have had our challenges, I don't think I appreciate him enough for what he has done.
However, I do have to disagree with the previous post when she said that women didn't work many years ago. That is not true, they worked very hard outside the home in the gardens. If they didn't plant gardens, their families would not have food to eat. That was their work outside the home. Everything was made from scratch, they didn't have the opportunity to pick up a fruit plate already assembled from the grocery store. They were with each other during child birth, through raising their families, through death. I believe they worked even harder than we do today. I work part-time outside the home to meet financial needs, but I love being at home with my kids (who are now entering their teens). I do miss the relationship building part of being a woman because so many moms work. I don't always know what is happening in my friends' lives because weeks can pass due to business. Years ago women had each other to rely on, today we have to search hard for someone we can depend on outside of our spouses. I do agree that praying together is the key, not only for each other, but also for your kids.

Husbands should be appreciated, affirmed and honored. They need it. If they would hear and learn how much we appreciate even the insignificant things they do, they would always try do things that make us happy... that will make our marriage blissful and at peace. Even if their output is not rated A, still we should appreciate their efforts... and if we (as wives) can support them (by praying much for them) and help them perform better, then they would really feel very important as we can uplift them. Love is all that matters... faithful, constant and forever.

Dear Ginger:

It was interesting for me to read of the conversation with your friend. Either materialism, too much security, take-it (or him)-for granted mentality, bitter, sarcastic tone, or an vacant vision of Christ and the church metaphor for marriage and/or lack of a kind and soft heart of your friend, or else this is not the kind of woman I really want to spend my days around anyway, has shown that you've probably learned more about your friend than you expected you would.

If she didn't get the sentiment of your message, you've got the wrong audience. Maybe years from now, she'll remember your words if God should work your message into her heart.

I'm now 51 years old. My first husband died when I was 33 after 12 years of marriage, and my next marriage (11 years later) was to a violent Christian man and it ended in a short and very painful marriage/divorce six years ago. We have since been able to remain distant friends.

I do know women like your friend and honestly, I won't waste my valuable time around an attitude like that. Let the Lord do the work, you keep loving your husband like you do with God's blessing! I personally think it sounds like a GREAT DAY!

See you at the wedding feast!
Bonnie J
Michigan

This is a wonderful idea. Men really dont get enough appreciation from their wives. A coworker of mine and I were discussing tonight at work, how the roles of husband and wife seem to have gotten reversed somehow or tied. Nowadays, both husband and wives work in order to afford their expensive lifestyles. What happened to the way God designed things. Our world, our culture has strayed so far from the natural origin of things. Call me old fashioned, but I still believe the man should be the head, and the bread winner. That is the way it's supposed to be. Women would appreciate their husbands more if they stayed home, and men would appreciate their wives more also. Then we equally would be able to fill our roles as God designed without adding extra stress to the household and marriage. No wonder the divorce rate is so high. The foundation of family and marriage is so whacked up! Lord help us to get back to the basics! The fundamentals of your design! =)

Dear Ginger,
I didn't know about that day - neither seemed anyone else. WHEN IS IT? I'll see to it next year then. But actually - maybe, we do it anyway. As husbands do. I know, some are clumsy with it - but that is the bit of boyishness which real men never lose - and which is sweet.
As for your friend - sorry, really better: acquiantance- is she married? Has she got family? Or is she one of those who have moved from home to the "big world of office freedom". I always think of "Sex and the City" with that kind - quite a bit trashy. Forget her. - Or: can you help her? I know: only if she let's you. But.. maybe, worth a try.
I know. we value each other - and that should be so. Mother's Day - yes, it's much more celebrted than Father's. We should change that. Then we could just go for a: Spouses Appreciation Day - or simply Family Appreciation Day. Yes - I think that's what we'd need most in these times when "the destruction of marriage and family is the most important aim of the modern women's movement", according to N.O.W. Did Bettie Friedan really want that? I don't know. But I don't want it. And neither does the vast majority of us.
Joan

Sometimes I'm distressed hearing younger women talk about 'the good old days' when women stayed home. That was a blessing for a minority of women in the 20th century. Women worked the clothing mills, the canneries, the health care, schools, they picked cotton, did domestic work, waitresses, and sales clerk. I could go on and on but I tried to show how ubiquitous women workers were (and are). Talk with the senior women - how did they see their role in the family, their husbands role. Senior women are pure gold - mine them. Ask them. Learn. I promise you will appreciate your husband (and yourself) more. Lana

Husbands that are honoring their God given roles should be appreciated, especially when they lovingly accept the responsibilities that they are to be trusted to. Today's 'expectance' of wives to be the role of a wife, mother, AND much more is not fair to women. Maybe the reason so many women today are feeling exhausted is because we are not living our lives with the roles God designed us for. Unfortunately, some men accept their given right to be the head of the household, BUT expect the wife to do more than her fair share to help him accomplish this.

I remember when I was able to be a stay at home mom, my life felt much more purpose driven and the priorities were always clear. It was much easier to appreciate my husband. To please my husband (his view: one income is not realistic in this day and time and I need to help pay the bills), so I now work outside the home and for years I have felt torn in all directions and very exhausted. Unfortunately, deep down I know I feel "less" appreciation for my husband with these added burdens.

"Even if a husband is harsh?" I don't think that respecting and loving one's spouse calls for checking one's intellect and dignity at the door. What a dangerous example for our young daughters to see!

Marriage is a work in progress, which should echo God's relationship to each of us--and God is too much of a gentleman to me, to use verbal insults to get His way.

I love the idea of a Husband Apreciation Day--and I think it should be a real holiday, as in day off, just for the guys!

But, I'll stay single if being a good Christian involves allowing myself to be trampled on.

I never heard of Husband Appreciation Day until now, but any reminder for me to show my husband how much I value him is a good thing. Wife Appreciation Day should not be my concern.

In my new book, "Stepping into the Light: You're a Christian, what now?" (www.steppingintothelight.net) I note that seeing through "new eyes" as a born again believer includes a fresh appreciation for my husband and thanking God for him. My marriage vows are not just between me and my husband, we promised God that we'd love each other.

We need to model the behaviour that we want from others, and not just as a "give to get" exercise. I love my husband and need my husband, therefore I should show him in ways that he can appreciate. End of story. Reciprocation is his concern, not mine.

"Nowadays, both husband and wives work in order to afford their expensive lifestyles."

I just wanted to point out that, while that is true in some cases, most families I know work two or three jobs to afford the necessities of life--a safe home, decent and safe schools, food, and gas.

I agree, I have to say I have the best husband I could have ever prayed for... yes, he doesn't always put things back, and yes he rarely goes to the grocery store... BUT, he is there for me emotionally, he puts up with me when I am moody, he loves me not matter what... and I never hear him complain! We need to remember what our husbands do, and stop complaining about what they don't do...

I never knew about this day 'till today, and I don't celebrate father's day because we're not parents yet. Wow and I'm sitting there complaining about what I do and what he doesn't do, when in fact he does almost everything there is in the house. My husband cooks, cleans, washes dishes, you name it. But I never show appreciation; I'm always thinking, "We leave together, so we share the work". We both have job outside the home and when we come home we do it all. I'm definitely going to take note of this day and do something special for my honey, because he deserves it. Thank you Ginger

Words cannot express how I feel right now. First I want to say that I am so happy that you wrote this. GOd Bless YOu. I realized that I had the same attitude as your friend. I want to say thank you because you helped me today to get delivered from this mentality and helped me to embrace a new way of looking at my marriage. I did not know this day existed and I don't know when it is but I am going to make sure in some way it is everyday for my husband and I. I am at home while he is at work. We have 5 children and it is not easy. For the past two years of our marriage, I have been angry and fussy. But he has been the most patient person ever. I thank you again. Today is my new beginning with God and my husband. God Bless You Ginger.

How sad and a bit pathetic that we would need a designated day to show our husbands the value of their lives when in all truth, that is how we are supposed to living each day according to scripture. As a society we are very good at "adding one more thing" to the pot because it looks good and it's something to strike off our "to do" list. How about fine tuning our hearing to the Voice of God, and follow His leading so that we can be open vessels, ready to act and respond to any day our husbands might need that extra blessing.

I am not sure if the LORD sees my marriage. My husband is a non believer . We did not get married in the church. We got married by a judge. Does the LORD recognize this marriage?

There is a wife appreciation day and I believe all wives deserve it. It is on the third Saturday of September of each year. So that would be 9/20/08.