thank you for your devotion, which I needed. I too have felt the same way as you. We can't give up or we have nothing. We also have to be strong to help other people stay faithful and get thru life. Ann

You are so right. I believe we owe our children a full picture of God and of the gospel, not a roses-and-puppy-dogs version of God. It's not that difficult to explain to my daughter that Job went through horrible trials, that Moses doubted and struck the rock, that Paul suffered a prolonged affliction, and that our pain produces perserverance and faith.

P.S. I

Camiron,

It is so true that our parents or sunday school teachers taught us this way. But, I thank God that we are not where we use to be. Today we can teach our children what thus says the Lord. Especially when we believe when they are old enough to understand what Christanty is all about. We don't need to make it all sound like a fairy tail but we need to help them to realize that God is real and that He loves us so much and it is Him who gives us the ability by the power of His Spirit to do and live in the way He has called us to live. IN CHRIST ALONE.

Sadly, when I was growing up and learning about God and Jesus Christ, the views imposed upon me by my parents and basically the rest of my family were that God was a vengeful, jealous, bad-tempered God. God was going to punish me for this and God was going to punish for that and Jesus saw everything I did so I better be good because there was no hiding from Him. As I got older and into my teen years, my whole life turned upside-down with my parent's ugly, messy, and bitterly hurtful divorce. It was really traumatic for me and my little sister. Things kept getting worse and worse as they fought for custody of us and then when one of them ended up with custody they turned us over to our grandparents to raise and both parents ended up being out of our lives. No matter how much love our grandparents showered on us we felt abandoned. The point is, I kept thinking, "Why is God punishing me?! What did I do that was so wrong?! Whatever I did (or could have possibly done as a child) I am sorry God! Please stop punishing me and my sister!" I in turn became very angry at God for punishing me, a child. I was angry at Him for making things worse and worse for my sister and I no matter how much I prayed. It wasn't until I was in my late twenties that the Holy Spirit spoke to me and blessed me with the knowledge and the Spirit of Wisdom that I realized God was not punishing us, but rather, despite all the mistakes and bad decisions my parents were making (you know, the whole "free will" thing) God was actually protecting us and guarding us. He was always there for us. He was not punishing us, He was watching over us! I have completely erased the perspective I was raised with and my own experience has taught me that our God is a loving God, an awesome God, a caring, nurturing God and that Jesus walks with us every step of the way and weeps when we weep and hurts when we hurt. Only now that I am in my 30s, do I understand the poem, "Footprints". Praise be to God!

Sometimes we just need a reminder that His grace is sufficient, and regardless of our circumstance that He will never leave us or forsake us. God is good!

Angela

I remember being taught that as well, and being very good. Then, at age 10 my mother died. I was angry at myself, what had I done that was so terrible? I went through years of drug use, rebellion, anger. I just recently(at the embarrassing age of 45), began to look back and see that God was with me throughout all of that. I am now doing what I can to make up for that time, though I pray very hard that He can forgive me for not raising my own kids in the church. I do tell them now about how God was with me, hoping to reach them as adults. I want nothing more than to love Him. Thank you for making me feel less alone...

Terrific article - thank you. Poignant in its clarity. It is interesting how music blesses us all. You know, I sang myself to sleep last night with "Jesus Loves Me". Yes, it is an old one, but a classic nevertheless. Truly a 21st century reminder of the ultimate suffering, and the ultimate gift, that song weaves childhood wonders with today's challenges into the warmest of musical blankets. Music is truly a gift from God.

Camerin,

I loved your blog! It is so true. So many times we confuse happiness with being problem-free. We can be happy and joyful in the midst of even the most distressing circumstances, and it is then that the love of Christ shines most brightly in our lives.

I watched my mom suffer and die of cancer, but I know where she is and that we will be together again one day. She didn't rail at God because her life was ending, but rather praised Him for the twelve extra years He gave her after the first diagnosis of cancer.

I watched two sons suffer through addictions. One is still struggling to get right with the Lord, but he is seeking Him. The other went through Teen Challenge and committed his life to Christ. He is working for Teen Challenge now, helping others get their lives back on track.

These things were not easy to live through, but they have made my faith rich and deep, a well to draw from to share a drink with others who are hurting.

Thanks for your blog,

Cheri

Your story sounds so familiar. However, the stories we are taught in those days help us to come so far in our faith. They are all true but we need to discover God in our own way and understand Him for ourselves, that is finding God. Each one needs to find God for his/her self and not being told about God. It is finding God that endures and helps our experiencing God.

Thank you for the work you do. Only the Lord sees his big picture and knows his plan. Life can really be painful, yet, like you I've found there is no other way to go through it than to cling closely to Him. I can't imagine not having him as the Rock. He is always good and true to his promises, though he lets us know that He is in control and we are not.

Hi, Thank you for this blog entry. One thing as a wife , mother a sister and a daughter that I would like to relay to my loved ones and remind myself as well is....That we are guaranteed nothing...and are not exempt from trials or tribulations. actually, it's the opposite, we will get more for all the glory of God. BUT what we have is the COMFORT of taking ALL our issues to God...and knowing that WHATEVER he chooses to do about or not do about those issues...is HIS CHOICE and ONLY HE knows why often times. OUR role...and comfort comes from knowing that he works it ALL out for the good for those that love him and live according to his purposes. GOD BLESS you all reading this. : - )

thanks Camerin for this piece, personally I use to think everything isn't perfect because I am not doing everything right, thinking may be when I please HIM, He will love me more until I read Romans 8:35-39. As the fact dawn on me that He already loved me, I begin to understand the word of Christ in John 16:33 that in this world we will experience troubles but the bottomline is that we should be of good cheer. What Christ did for us is not to keep us out of trials but for us to have peace in times of trials and ultimate victory. We can rejoice in trials because we are sure we are overcomers and that's what makes the difference.

Camerin:

After many years of asking the same questions we all do in the same situation, I think God has shown me that He HAS given me the happy life. And He HAS been faithful. My problem is that His thoughts are not my thoughts and His ways are not my ways. He wants more for me and the something more precious than a husband or children is HIMSELF--knowing Him to be our all. Knowing we can depend on Him and that He rules our life. Knowing I can trust Him with ALL things! Father really DOES know best!

Good writing!
I've discovered these same truths during a spiritual 'hurricane' season following life-threatening injuries in an accident and having to learn to live with pain, limitations and a deformed leg. Those same books also helped me.
While I am thankful for what I've learned over the past four years, I wish I could have avoided all the pain and learned it another way, maybe by reading a book :)

Thankfully, my healing continues and I've been able to jog again recently (after the 16th surgery) Praising my creator and healer with each step I take :)
Janet

We do attend one of those so-called "mainline" churches. People here are seeing the same need to make Sunday School more realistic for today's children.

My husband has been my best resource for insights. He was unimpressed with flannelgraph stories and endless weeks of apple juice, even as a very little boy.

Of course kids need to know about the joyful stuff. But they also need to know where to turn if their dog dies, or the kids at school are mean, or Mom and Dad get a divorce. Just think of what all the Sunday School children must be going through at Steven Curtis Chapman's home church, after the tragic death of little Maria. No, we don't always get a happy ending.

praise God that he is always with us even when we forget..
our trials in life help us grow in Christ..

Thank you for your words. I'm a 67-year old woman who lost her father at 10 years of age. I have struggled trying to find out what I did wrong that my story was not like those stories with happy endings. I'm so glad that God was always there leading and guiding me, giving me the help I needed to become the person He wanted me to be. God bless.

Thank you for your blog! I agree with your thoughts. We are blessed with three precious children and I love to read Bible stories to them. I often times, however, find myself doing that very same thing you experienced growing up. Telling them that if they obey God they will have a happy life. I need to be in prayer about how to show them God's true mercy and grace and how He uses trials in our lives to grow us even more in faith and in love with Him. Thanks for the encouragement to do so!!

I know what you mean about the happy endings. I had to learn that the happy ending is Jesus, not personal gratification. I had to learn that I can't manipulate God into giving me what I want by being "good." Now I celebrate the real happy ending, and pray that when the next challenge comes my way, I will be like your friend and still sing "Blessed be the Name." Thank you for sharing your journey.

I'm going through one of those disillusioning times RIGHT NOW, as a matter of fact. Hopefully I will come out stronger on the other side....

I must say that message was very important for me to get at the time I did... I have been battling here recently with the same questions... One of my biggest questions to God has been will you ever send me my knight in shining armor... I think too often times we are fixated on the worlds fairy tale of "happily ever after" we forget that God gave all he is going to give when he died on the cross and that is the greatest happily ever after... thank you for sharing with the world know that God uses people and he used you to get to me thank you so much and God Bless... Diana

I totally agree with you when you said that peace & hope is in the process inspite of the messy situations in life. God never promises that our life will be like a fairy tale, but one thing is certainly sure...that we will definitely experience GENUINE JOY, PEACE & LOVE if we will put our trust in Him, obey Him, then we can understand the true joy of being christian.

I, too, was taught the "rosy" picture of the Christian life. It took me until my teen years and I was sexually assaulted to realize that "being a good Christian" did not mean a "happy" life. I held that secret for over 32 years and almost destroyed my health. I thought I had "sinned". Thankfully, today, our children learn earlier that the Christian life WILL BE DIFFICULT, but they also learn that GOD IS WITH US!!! in the happy times as well as the most tragic of times. Thank you so much for your honesty and for your magazine which speaks to me from every page!

Camirin,

Thank you so much for reminding us that God is still with us no matter what we are going through. I know what you are talking about. One thing I know nothing happen to us by chance because God will ultimately use all things for our good whether good or bad. We should hold unto God and He will not disappoint us.

I can relate - Life is hard - sometimes Jesus seems so unreal - but I have to go on faith alot since my feelings' barometer is broken - that's where those childhood flannelboard lessons come in handy - God says it, I believe it, and that settles it. Another quaint phrase from my childhood, but quite true.

Great post! This post will help & enhance with our (my DH & I) teaching junior boys in Sunday School. The insights were very realistic & will help bring those lessons to a new perspective, especially, those of us living in an inner-city culture of realism everyday.

Everyone always talks about the "patience of Job" but for me, it's the FAITH of Job that I think about. He went through far worse than I hope I ever go through and yet he still clung to his belief in God. Sure, he had his doubts and even cursed God, but he never disbelieved in God. You're right Camerin, we all have disappointments and disillusions. But without faith, that's all we'd have.

Great piece! How very true!

This is really touching and encouraging. Most christians think that when they have accepted Jesus as their personal saviour then life will be all rosy. Remember Joseph and what he went through but he never stopped trusting in his God

Camerin,
"We celebrate that each year with hallelujahs for an empty tomb and a risen Savior."
Christians should celebrate the joy of Jesus' resurrection each Sunday throughout the year at the Lord's supper.

alina

Your article, today, was excellent. I think most of us that grew up in the 50's had lists of do's and don'ts. So, alot of our salvation was caught up in those ideals. In my adult years, I have gone through 3 really dark times. But, I found God never left me alone. He pursued me even in my doubt. When the first issue (#1) at age 37 was the death of my mother...it ushered in flashbacks, "fatherloss at two yrs," and 10 major changes within a 2 year period. I just could no longer pretend life was good, not even sure God was good. That's when I found the book by CS Lewis, "A Grief Observed." Finally, someone I could identify with. How did he get into my head, I wondered. God also brought someone into my life that could allow me the questioning..and just listened...by 40 I found my new "living faith."I also benefited from Philip Yancey's books. And M. Scott Peck in "Further Along the Road Less Traveled."About the stages of Spiritual Growth.
#2)At 46 I lost my twin brother...That loss was very tramatic for me. God intervened and interrupted my life by giving me a ministry--specially tailored--for a time and a purpose. That grew into a 12 year ministry. Literally, saving my life! I gleaned a lot from Frederick Buechner's book, "The Hungering Dark" at that time. Buechner states: "we should go with our lives where we most need to go and where we are most needed." I also faced my "fatherloss." God can always use our brokenness for His good--and ours. If we allow Him to bring healing into our pain. Pretense is not Christianity. I had to learn to put down my mask. Become who God had created me to be.
# 3)At 59, I was diagnosed with invasive cancer. 8 chemos, pills for 5 yrs. and once again, a ministry "Women of Hope" for cancer survivors--especially tailored for me. When I feel lost and alone..."God has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up, nor leave you without support. I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless, nor forsake you nor let you down, relax my hold on you--Assuredly not!" Heb 13:5 Applified.

Great article. I have felt this way for the better part of my life. I travel the road for the Lord, but have set and written Him letters requesting answers that I know I cannot have this time in my life. I was a single mom for 30 years and have just met the man for me and was married 18 months ago. At the ripe old age of 54 and 58 we have found the love and happiness I have always dreamed of. But you know what, now I have another "challange" before me. The job I always enjoyed and the power and money that went with it are no longer fulfilling me but coming between my husband and I. My priorities have changed and so now I must make new decisions about a part of my life that I thought was already in place and working well. Funny how when one prayer is answered, the ripple effect takes over and new "challanges" are placed before us. Today is a new day, and I awoke this morning and requested the Lord bless me. I can't wait to see what wonderful things he puts before me today.

This article resonated within me because I too have felt this feeling of "where is God and who is he to me?" during difficult times. I was raised in the church and remember the pat little stories about Jesus like you and even persisting in my adult years that I lived such a life of complacency. The complacency didn't urge me any closer to God and I was willing to accept that all people just simply had to accept Him on blind faith like me that knowing Him was His responsibility to us. Singing praise songs was very easy. It was only when I went through my divorce that I really got to know who God is and how much He loves me. I had to struggle through many sleepless nights screaming and yelling at Him for letting me go through this and why if He loved me I was even going through it all. One of the defining moments of my life was at BJ Higgins funeral (you can read about him in the book "I Would Die For You") and watching his parents sing praise songs to God for delivering them through the loss of their only son who was also their youngest child. I can't say that my reaction would have been the same. But at that moment God made it clear who He was to me and that He really did love me even though I doubted Him. See the awesome thing about God is, He doesn't barge in and demand that we acknowledge who He is and what He has done. He patiently waits until we come to the overwhelming realization on our own which makes the discovery even more dear within our hearts. Thanks for a great article!

Thanks for the article, I really needed the insight. Praise be to God!

thank you for the beautiful and heartfelt article and everyone who shared their experiences and wisdom. I like everyone who expressed their feelings, felt the same way - that our LORD has abandoned me through my dark times, but I have come to learn and see that that is when HE is with us the most. You just have to have the hunger and thirst to search for HIM and HE will always be there. Thank you Father, for loving your sons and daughters that care enough about you to look for you even if it means questioning, doubting and slowly growing to discover your eternal truths that never waiver.

I am so glad to see that someone has put in print what I have thought for so long. I don't know what to call what I have been going through for the past 10 years or so a crisis of faith or what. I remember even as a child questioning all of those do's and don't lists. I don't seem to get my feet back on the ground with God anymore. I pray but it seems that nothing happens or changes. My life just seems to be so filled with questions and no answers. Even though I can tell you the time and place when I ask Jesus to come into my life - I now question if I am even a Christian. Does anyone have any answers for me?

LOL, what can I say ...

I was interested in the begining of this story as it was so silimar to my own.

Adults telling us warning us, driving the living fear into us, be naughty and hell awaits, BUT god this god that ....

Then I TOO grew up ...

There is NO GOD, there never will be and religion in all its forms should be banned.

I love and respect people because I want to be loved and respected too, not because if I do all the good things I will DIE to live in heaven for ever .... LOL

WHo wants to live in a heaven forever? i want to live NOW here because that is all there is THIS LIFE

No god, no mohammed, budda or whatever else so invinsible there could be, will be waiting for you, me or anyone.

Then I need ONE answer too, just what make people think GOd is HE, ????

Is he white, black, green? Why HE (just because A MAN wrote years ago that GOD made man??

Oh call me the devil I dont believe in this god thing story so why should I believe in this satan fear driven cartoon with his fork and a hell hole as hot as a pizza oven.

It is time religious people build a bridge and get over themselves .....

Man made god to control and mislead the uninformed.

Nikki

As we grow in grace in the journey of faith, we discover the Soveriegnity of God to do things in His own way and hence our disappointment. But No matter what happens, He is the one that has the last say in the affairs of men, nothing happens without His knowledge and because His thoughts towards us are good, He would work out everything for our good. Av learnt to surrender and say Let His will be done in all situations

Today isn't a good day for me. As a matter of fact before looking for a blog page (i've never blogged before) I slammed the mouse saying "I'm tired of settling!" I remember my mother saying "Good girls don't do this or that", Christians do this or that. At 44 I feel that my life has been a big waste of time. Yes, there have been good days, but I have serious problem dealing with the disappointments in life, I've pretty much stop dreaming, wishing hoping that things will get better or change. I have made decision that I must continue with (marriage, children, financial) until they come to the end of themselves. I really hate my life, I wish I could have a do over!!

I'm a guy, but I thought this was pretty good. I googled dissillusionment+Christian and I came up with this article. I find myself in the position of not questioning the True and Living God of the Gospels, but how some in Christian circles portray Him. We are an image of God. But, we try to make God in our own image. I think that's how we get into trouble, including false or unrealistic expectations. The Lord showed me 2 Cor 12:9 a few weeks ago and it took on new meaning. At the end of the day, Christ is sufficient for me. I just wish I could get really get that into my heart.