Forgotten Friends
Receiving grace for my lapses in contact
I opened a book of poetry last evening, and a note fluttered out from the pages.
Eagerly, I unfolded it. For I knew behind the card's cover of Pablo Picasso's Old Guitarist were words of love and encouragement from the book's giver, my friend Emily. But, in the years since receiving her gift, I'd forgotten the note's simple closing.
"We will always be friends."
It was a comfort and a rebuke. For I hadn't been a very good friend since her last voicemail nearly a year ago. "Call Emily," I'd written for weeks on my to-do list. Then, exasperated, I'd downgraded my goal: "E-mail Emily." Eventually, we'd exchanged a few notes across the hundreds of miles separating us. But the last letter had arrived months ago.
Ashamed, I returned her name to my to-do list this morning. The reminder nestled among the names of my other forgotten friends:
Call Diana
Call Tiffany
Call Jessica
Call Ariel
I smiled at the last two, then triumphantly crossed them off. For, after months of jotting myself reminders, I'd finally managed to call at least a couple friends not long ago.
They'd both startled me with their eerily similar greeting: "Is that really you?" Yet their exaggerated surprise was the only chastisement for my selfish absence. They waved off my apologies for the elapsed months, and pardoned my excuses of a demanding work schedule and consuming romantic relationship. Eagerly, my friends caught me up on passed time. They didn't berate me for missing their original celebrations over a new job and church, or for not assuaging their initial sorrow over broken family relations and stressful work situations. "Call soon," both women encouraged, then urged me to plan a visit across the separating miles.
The undeserved grace of their receptions has echoed in many of my friends' responses after weeks or months of my silence. More than a year since our last meeting, my friend Diana offered to clear her schedule for a long, luxurious dinner. In a triumph of forgiveness and trust, my friend Tiffany offered me, despite my lapses in contact, the honor of a place in her bridal party this summer. And when Emily hears my voice in the coming days, she'll doubtless extend me her persevering grace and greet me lovingly with her old college nickname for me: "Hello, blue-mascara Anna."
Such divine forgiveness from earthly friends prompted me recently to contact the long-neglected heavenly one who'd nicknamed me simply "friend" (John 15:15). I knew he'd answer me no less enthusiastically than they after my self-absorbed delays in heeding his calls for communion.
"Hi, God," I whispered several nights ago in bed. "I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in so long." I've uttered those words far too often in my years of friendship with him. But his response, like my friends', has always been welcome and forgiveness. And that night, he flooded my heart with peace and acceptance.
I felt it in his beckoning me to a seat when I stepped tentatively into his house of worship last week for my first visit in months. He waved away my pitiful apologies for fearing long drives to church through winter snow, wanting sleep after busy workweeks, or feeling awkwardness in attending alone. "You're here now," he seemed to whisper through the songs. "Come again soon."
And then he returned my visit. He cleared his schedule to meet me when, for the first time in far too long, I sat down in my bedroom a few nights ago to open up his Word. With no judgment, no withholding, he spoke through verse after verse. "My words apply directly to the harried schedule that's keeping you from them," he gently answered my excuses. Then, as a friend, he listened to me speak of my life, told me a bit more of his.
And as I closed the book, a message from him fluttered up from the pages.
"We will always be friends."
Blessings,
What grace have you received from friends, whether earthly or heavenly? Have you ever lapsed in contact with God? How did he draw and welcome you back?
Posted at 1:27 PM on April 21, 2008.
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Comments
this is just so encouraging :) ..it just so amazes me as well how our "Greatest Friend" will just always be there everytime...
Posted by: ae on April 21, 2008
What a lovely blog, Andrea! I really enjoyed it and could relate to it as well!
Posted by: Jane Johnson Struck on April 21, 2008
your blog really brought up some really important memories about the importance of having special friends in our lives and how when we feel like when no one wants to be a part of our life GOD will always be there for us no matter what. I remember one time when I had an experience when I needed a friend @ that moment and immediately prayed to Him for forgiveness for the people I cared for who did not care for me. And the next moment a rush of emotion came lifted off of me and I knew He was there to help me and to be the best friend I could never forget.
Posted by: a. wade hill on April 25, 2008
Thank you, Andrea
Thats all I can say through my tears.
We have all been where you were.
Posted by: Beth on April 25, 2008
Thank you so much for a wonderful article. Knowing that my Savior will always be my Friend, walking with me through whatever comes at me was just what I needed to hear today.
Posted by: Roxie on April 25, 2008
Andrea,
your blog brought a smile to my face. I feel the same about when I feel that i must talk to the Lord and I wait...sometimes wait too long and it would seem that the intimate moment is passed...yet it is so wonderful just to talk to my friend.
Thanks for the thoughts. Keep talking to Him, He listens...the more you talk the better you will be able to express what you are feeling!
Posted by: Phillipa on April 25, 2008
Wow Andrea that blog is amazing to me cause I believe that's the trueth.
there is a friend that is closer than a brother-and all those who know him will do the same. To be a friend I believe is a matter of choice. And I am so proud of those friends who choose to remain remain loyal even in the darkest hour. Your loyalty proves your identity.
Posted by: LD on April 25, 2008
What a wonderful way you have with words Andrea! What a beautiful gift you have. Thankyou. I totally identify with your 'keeping up with friends struggle' Tears well up in my eyes when I know that I treat the Best Friend I have so casually and take Him for granted. I have received a gentle rebuke. Bless you!
Posted by: Lorraine Goulton on April 26, 2008
Thanks Andrea. Life so often takes us away from Him. Thanks so much for the gentle reminder that He always welcomes us back with open arms. I too need to get back into the contact mode with Him and my friends. Thanks for reminding me that He is always there and waiting with a special something for each one of us. Bless you.
Posted by: Cath Reid on April 26, 2008
Andrea- I just wanted to let you know that your blog is so refreshing. As a mid-twenties, far from perfect Christian, it is relieving to read someone else's thoughts that are so candid with earnest hope yet fluttering doubts. Thank you for your honesty. It brings God glory and honor- especially in how it draws his other children closer to him.
Posted by: Catherine on April 26, 2008
Isn't it reassuring that we have friends that can erase time like no tomorrow? Isn't it even more blessing to know that God is there to always be our friend regardless of our time gap?
Posted by: Alicia on April 26, 2008
I love your honesty. I too miss alot of church during the winter months and it feels so good when I finally make it back. God makes it so easy to just pick up where I left off with Him.
Posted by: Christine on April 26, 2008
I am so happy that God considers me as a friend. That no matter how much I feel alone, He is always near , a click a way.
Posted by: Enighe on April 26, 2008
It's amazing how our friends can be so full of grace and understanding. Those qualities are modeled even more so in the greatest "Friend" of all time, Jesus. We can come to Jesus without any shame or guilt, knowing that His arms are always outstretched ready to welcome us in. Christ has always, is, and will always be the friend that we can confide in. The one who knows and cares about our biggest secrets, dreams, and hopes that lie in the very depths of our hearts. Thank you God for being such an awesome friend and source of strength in our lives.
Posted by: The Wright One on April 27, 2008
Refreshing and encouraging. Thank you Adrea, Know that God has used yo'r honesty to touch my heart for a gentle rebuke to focus my time and energy on what is most important. God and people.A timely reminder for me!
Posted by: Kellie on April 27, 2008
Dear Andrea,
Thanks for the reminder! If this was a hardcopy page, it would be wet, through my tears!
I appreciate this honest, well written blog. When is the book coming? Let me know.
Your sister Glenda in South Africa
Posted by: Glenda McMinn, Cape Town, SA on April 29, 2008
Andrea: wow did you give me a "wake-up" call. Because I moved away a few years back, all of my best friends live far away...and I miss calling and saying "meet me for coffee at 4."And they always showed up. I miss our "face-time." Long distance relationships take a lot more work and thought. I have neglected many in the last 6 months. It's true grace, when they still love to hear my voice, get an e-mail.
A couple of thoughts on the best of friends.
(1) My grandma's favorite song was, "What a friend we have in Jesus."
(2) The verse quoted previously "He sticks closer than a brother" reminds me of Chuck Swindol's slight change of words, "He sticks closer than a twin." Being a twinless twin now, my mind is flooded with memories of our "togetherness." My brother and me. Jesus and me. The connection is always there.
I agree, this is an "upper!"
Posted by: Lyn on May 2, 2008
Hi i am from South Africa and your article really blessed me we so quickly forget what is important in life
Posted by: Bernadine on May 6, 2008
This was just simply beautiful. How you told about your friend and converted that back to God. Many of times we look to people to fill the void we have and the only person who can fill this void is God. Another person can't do it only him. When I think back on the friendships I gain and lost some friends, but I have known God to be there when I needed Him the most. When I thought I was by myself and no one was there to listen to my heart, God visited me in such a way that I know He will be there no matter what.
I'm so grateful that God keep showing us His love everyday. This was very encouraging.
Posted by: Rev. Nicole T. on May 9, 2008
I know that feeling when you step back into the church after a long absence or talk to a distant friend or relative. I am currently deployed and your article blessed me in many ways. I reach out to the Lord often and He always is loving and forgiving. The article gave me a blessed rememberance to keep in touch with friends and family. Thank you.
Posted by: Charlotte on May 10, 2008
Hi, I am from Ethiopia and thanks for your blog it is timely and encouraging word for me. Blessings.
Posted by: Tiru on May 12, 2008
Andrea
Thanks for sharing this is a lovely story that brings memory back for me. I am often driven to think of all my old friends and sometimes feel sad when I can't locate some of them. I wonder how they are doing and hope to see them again.
It is always a happy feeling for me when I find a friend I had lost for a while. But I find that they do come and go.
One thing I do know is that there is one friendship that is always present, even when I move away from Him, HE never forgets me.
God is awesome!
Pauline Lewinson
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Posted by: Pauline Lewinson on May 16, 2008