I feel as if I have been in an "Ugly Season" for a long time now. Somehow I lost hope along the way. The result; I have found myself stuck head first in a mire pit, while having uncontrollable hot flashes. Not being able to bare it any longer. I have decided to take action while I wait for God’s call or while God waits for me which ever comes first. The frustration that has mounted has led me to cook once again while I write about my “Ugly Season”. I am taking a year to learn to cook and appreciate Southern food. This is funny and only something that God could have planned as; I am not a funny person, and I have never gotten anything that closely resembles an A or B in English. For years I have felt as if I have missed God’s call in my life. Now I am wondering if God hasn’t taken the “Ugly Season” as a way to prepare me for a new calling along with some good food. A calling I might add that I could never have found on my own. So while I continue to wait; I give thanks and praise for spell check, children that are willing to check my grammer(none of whom were available before I posted this comment), a new found sense of humor and a future filled with hope, joy and surprises to come.
Thank you for your beautiful story.
Blessings to you also.

Don't worry! Everything always turns out for the best!
Chantell

When it's not-yet-Spring it's always tempting to feel as dark and dreary as the landscape around us. It's hard to see possibilities and open doors in an "ugly season" of our life. Thank God we have the promise of spring rains, fresh rain, new perspective. Everything about the Spring time reminds us that God did not design winter as a permanent state for our soul.

"See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,..."
Song of Songs 2:11,12

To-day is officially the first day of Spring! :)
I would like to share this scripture regarding this transitional season in my life:
2 Corinthians 7:1
Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.
Confessing, cleansing, purifying and casting all our cares/past on the Lord, He will perfect our holiness out of reverence to Him.
Thank-you for the encouragement and how great is it that we serve such a personal God! We have all His promises to lean on and keep pressing on :)

This is not really an answer to the question but just a comment to Jane that I am so grateful for your leadership at TCW over the past 20 years. It's been an extremely valuable ministry to me -- probably at several ugly times in my life. Thanks so much for all your contributions over the years!

I've been in ugly seasons and they were u-hug-ly! But, by the grace of God he cleaned up my messes and set me in beautiful boundaries! Season and their transitions can be hard that's for sure!

I feel as if I have been in an ugly season for too long, dreams I have once had never seem to come to pass and I wonder if somehow my faith is being sorely tested and tried. I cry out to God wanting relief, but he ever remains silent. Lord have mercy and deliver me from my ugly season!

From my perspective, as limited as it is, I often feel as though God has set me aside. I wonder if I have done something to deserve this "empty" period. I examine my life, and ask Him to examine it, just in case.

Then I attempt with my again limited vision, to look at things from His perspective. I realize that it isn't so much transition as it is a level; it isn't so much an empty period as it is a space that He has provided for me to fill with what I have long wanted to do but have never had the time to do before.

It is not a punishment, but a privilege, to have a space that He trusts me with.

Thank you for this intimate and encouraging look at the space God has granted you.

We are in an ugly season and have been for a while- about 2 years. Yes, we have had our house off and on the market for 2 years. It gets viewed a lot, and the buyers like it, but never buy it. After these two years we are weary and we have found the perfect home for our family. Of course, we must sell our current home before purchasing this dream home. Very frustrating... but a part of life.

Well, I had to vent my pain and I'd like to ask for prayer from anyone reading this. Thanks so much. God bless you.

I felt what you wrote. AS though I experienced it.

As spring approaches - slowly- I too find myself at sorts after a very long "winter" season in my life. As I read your post I thought of the words from Jeremiah 29:11: "I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, plans to give you hope and a future." Our new future is just around the corner, but there is "winter" clean up to be done. Thank you for the encouraging words, the words that help me to realize that I need to clean up my heart with forgiveness before I make the adventure into spring, lest I find myself in a new place with new promise and old resentments.
Blessings on you in your retirement and in all the wonderful ministry opportunities that God will provide.

Thank you for your beautifully written comments about these transitions. It is so fitting that I should find this today after a week of struggling to make peace with the past and find my new path to the future which culminated last night in a Good Friday service.

My husband has recently retired from serving as the senior pastor of a large church for 37 years. He has been in ministry for 50 and we have been married for 35 years. Though we are pursuing our plans for another type of ministry that seems to be working well, it is a difficult transition after being so deeply invested in a large faith community of diverse people for so many years. Empty nesting, losing my father and my mother's progressive dementia, along with the time of retirement have all contributed to the "ugly season" of transition in the last few years.

I am confident that God has many good things ahead for us to do in serving Him. And, like you wanting to dig the garden too soon, I am impatient for them to begin to come to fruition. Letting go of the past is always entangled with so much emotion. God transcends all those human emotions and so I am trying to stay focused on His plan and purpose for our future. Your comments have helped me with that today.

WOW!! Your article about being in the "ugly season" really hit home and I had never thought of it that way that you put it. As I sit here on a Sat. morning and have been longing for spring and ready to be able to enjoy the outdoors I think about the dreariness of outside and see that parts of my life have become that way too. I feel like I am stuck in a job that I have been at for 28 yrs(I'm in a small rural area) so I don't have much to choose from for employment and have to have a job because 9 yrs ago I went thru a divorce and so I am my sole supporter, things have changed so much in my job and so demanding and its physically and mentally exhausting that I ask myself everyday is it worth it or should I move on. I have been spending time in prayer asking God for guidance and maybe this is my changing season time I am 2 yrs away from being able to pull my retirement and I think that I should stick it out but the stress is some days so unbearable that I ask myself what am I doing and is it worth it.
I am also struggling with part of my divorce yet I haven't dated much and am tired of being alone but scared to death to get into a relationship and being in the area that i am in I don't have much opportunities to meet new people either.
I will think of this part of my life has ugly season and continue to pray and ask for help and guidance and wait on the Lord.
Thank you for the in site of the ugly seson's

Yes I can relate ,I feel I have been in an "ugly season" for the last 3 years or so since my Mother passed and I have osteoarthitis of both knees which is very painful, sometimes more than others.I am only 48 years young and I feel I have a lot left to do!But I do believe the season is changing, I thank God for people like you in my life.

Funny I should read about the "ugly season" on this day. Coincidence? I think not. Today, on March 22, the day after spring's official calender arrival, it is snowing here in PA. As I drove home in it wishing for the sunshine I felt on my face just yesterday, I too lamented over the inbetween-ness of the seasons, which I am also experiencing in my own life.
Thank You Lord for leading Jane to a walk that inspired this blog. And thank you for leading me to read it. And than You for hope. Thank You that because of You we can be assured that "Hope springs eternal."

Dear Jane,
Thank you for this article. While I was reading it, even before I realized you were going through a transition, I could feel it comfort me as I go one that has been very long and tedious myself. Your sharing gave me much hope. Thanks again.

Imagine my surprise when I read this article after just today referring to myself as "Tammy-in-transition". I have been in this stage of life for over a year now. I took that old leap of faith last year and left a very well-paying and lucrative career. I felt certain God was calling me into full-time ministry. I had the plans all laid out! I was finishing an undergrad degree (after 14 years, shew!) in Religion. Starting graduate school right afterward. Every thing was falling into place. What once seemed so certain fell apart almost as soon as I stepped out in faith and left my career behind. Within three months, my healthy savings account had dwindled down to nothing and I was faced with the crisis of going back to work after what seemed like a misinterpretation of God's calling. (I didn't just jump impulsively, but prayed about this for a year before making the leap.) So, back to work I went in a position I formerly managed. It was a major blow. Add that to the sad reality that I had to put my beloved house on the market because I could no longer afford it, it was a bitter pill to swallow. I remember returning from a trip with my family last June, and crying as we drove back as I finally threw up my white flag and surrendered to God. If God required my house of me, He could have it. Whatever it took to get me on the right path. I wish I could say that I found that path. I haven't. I am more uncertain today than I was a year ago, but I am also a different person than a year ago. I have realized that I can't "figure it out". Nothing I do will bring about God's will. When God is ready to let me in on where I should go or do next, He will.

Also during this time, my husband was called to another church to minister in music and as I dealt with what felt like one crisis after another, I had no one to share it with and I felt so alone.

Here I am a year later still trying to make sense of it all. Trying to understand what this is all about and as I read this blog, I see where there is "debris" that I must be rid of before I can see my way to where God has me going. The doubt, the bitterness, loss of hope, the anger and frustration, even long-standing hurts that I thought I had gotten over that have resurfaced.

God knows what we need and when we need it. It is refreshing to know that we're not alone in this journey. Jesus extends His hand through the ministry of others. There are others out there who have also gone through this dry and desolate place of transition. It is reassuring to reconcile, mentally, that it's just a season. There is hope. There is an end ahead and when it's all said and done, we will be better off than we are today. It is in times like these that we more richly appreciate our future eternal rest with our Father.

May God give you, my Christian sisters, strength as you go through your own transitory periods. Keep your eyes on the prize that you know is before you in heaven and leave the striving towards earthly things in the hands of Jesus.

What a beautifully-written perspective on life, seasonal changes and the transitions in life we face both daily and seasonally. I feel as though I've been in a valley of major life-changing disappointments and lost dreams. Maybe it's my "ugly season?" I feel so much disappointment and sadness right now that I'm afraid to put much hope in the next, better season in life. I know as a Christian I should always have the hope of tomorrow; a better tomorrow because of Jesus and His truths and promises (especially in this Easter season). I just keep putting so much hope, expectation and anticipation in a better tomorrow, a better future and I'm constantly disappointed and let-down. I hope my spring is much brighter than this cold, heartbreaking winter has been....on a good note I saw 4 beautifully-bloomed daffodils in my garden today the eve of Easter....brighter days indeed are ahead! Afterall, tomorrow/today is my birthday and EASTER!! Praise God for His most Indescribable Gift ever--Jesus!

My husband and I went through an "ugly season" a year ago when he made the decision to get out of the Army and transition into civilian life. We were stationed in Germany at the time and it was a little more challenging to llok for a job in the United States and interview from overseas. We had no idea where he was going to find employment. Where we would live, how we would survive. It was a scary time. We felt as though we were in limbo. When the Army asked us where the final destination of all our worldly possessions would be, we had no idea! we really had to trust God like never before and trust that God would put us exactly where he wanted us. We prayed without ceasing and we turned our lives and future over to God completely without getting in His way with our own agenda. Everything of course worked out perfectly as it does when we allow God to be in control. My husband is very happily employed. He loves his civilian job, the transition to the U.S. went smoothly. We got settled in without a hitch. Everything fell into place and everything worked out as was God's Will. It was a HUGE leap of faith and we had to trust.

I am actually in an "Ugly Season" right now. I will be graduating from college this summer, God willing. I have been a full-time student for the past year and though I will have my degree in a field that I love to study about, it's not a field that I would actually like to work in. !!! So as graduation day approaches I still have NO idea what I want to be when I grow and what God would have me do with my life. I ask Him for help, more like implore Him to show me how to serve Him in a particular career. I ask Him to give me a sign, a clue, a hint as to what I should be doing in life. What career path should I take to best do His will? I pray for discernment, obedience, understanding, and wisdom. I pray for knowledge and patience. Mainly, I just pray. Until I figure out (in the Holy Spirit) what to do with my God-given life...I feel as though I am in the limbo of the "ugly season".

As I read your article and the comments which followed I realize I'm not alone in my between seasons of life--ugly or whatever. Right now I'm wondering what's next, considering my present circumstances which are beyond my control. This morning as I bent to look into the tiny, sunny faces of my miniature daffodils blooming in my yard, and paused to gaze at a pair of mourning doves perched on my clothesline post, God spoke to my heart--yes, it's spring. His message to my saddened heart is, "just be with Me and bloom where I've planted you. I understand your heart and I am enough." Thanks for your encouragement, Jane, and reminding me that God has work to do in my life as I enter another spring season.

I was so moved by all your comments, realizing so many of us are dealing with all the the emotions that transitions--whether they be short-lived or seemingly endless--bring. I'm also reminded, after experiencing this Easter weekend, how Christ approached the Cross as "the joy set before him." His "ugly season," definitely in my mind, would have been the betrayal, torture, and death he undertook for us. But because of this, what was ugly became beautiful! Perhaps in our times of waiting and longing and "clearing up and cleaning out," we need to contemplate the joy set before us. I struggle with this, but I have a renewed desire to do so. Blessings to you all--and He is risen indeed!

Wow, just reading your blog and everyone's comments sure makes ME feel less alone. You just put a name on something I've been going through for a while now: the no-longer-but-not-yet transition, or the "ugly season". Part of it is the in-between winter/spring thing, but also since the first of the year, my family has been in a major ugly season. Like a few others who have posted here, my husband is in the military, too, and we are essentially "finished" with this duty station and are waiting for the official papers to move to our next one. I was in school here, pursuing what I felt was God's call on my life, only to drop out this semester in preparation for this upcoming move. We were supposed to have been gone by now, but circumstances have held things up. I feel completely at loose ends. And this is just the latest ugly season within a larger ugly season that began for seemingly no reason, about 18 months ago. Everything seemed to be "perfect". We just moved here, found a great church, great friends, we were involved in our community and I was finally financially able to pursue God's call on my life. And then, out of nowhere, I became very ill. And I have battled this illness now during our entire stay here. It's somewhat under control now, but it's not completely gone. And now the waiting to move---I just feel like so much time has been wasted! It took me nearly 20 years to be able to go back to school, and now I'm just SITTING HERE in ANOTHER "ugly season"! Hopefully, by the grace of God, the small season within the larger one should be over this week sometime. Then maybe everything else will start to fall into place. God I hope so. Thanks all of you for making me feel that I'm not the only one going through something like this.

Transition...a powerful word. From something...to something.....(usually) from under something to above something. I have eagerly waited for this period to end in my life....until recently....Recently, God reminded me. I will miss these times.....Even though they are filled with discomfort and uncertainty, One day, I will look back in my life and I will miss them....So, I have decided to be " where I am " To look at the good. " Amongst the "ugly" and to focus on enjoying it. NOthing has changed. My burden isn't lifted, my way is not clear. my problems aren't solved.....But....GOD showed me.....not to cloud today.....waiting for tomorrow's sunshine. LET IT SHINE today. And tomorrow it won't matter if it's sunny. Because tomorrow will eventually be today. And I will do it all again. Thank you for your story....and I wonder...if you are retiring to something....or from something....??? God Bless you Jane...and all the other writers I read here. thank you

Thank you for the message and now after reading all the comments I feel so much part of the Body of Christ...my ugly season has been going for a while with a few bursts od sunshine in between. I have been divorced since `99. I have 9 kids...ages 17-26. 7 are adopted. Some have had children and are not married, some have had abortions, some are involved with drugs and/or drink...so much heartache...it would be nice for the ugly season to finish...my children were all taught from God´s word but have made many terrible choices along the way...only God can bring good out of these situations...I will trust Him!!! LIfe is hard, but God is good...

"This is the day the Lord has made"! Thank you for giving me insight into my feelings this morning. God bless you, Jane, in this "ugly season". My focus is set on the sunshine that is chasing away the shadows thanks to your words.

We all have "ugly seasons" in our lives. The problem is that the season is not ugly until you see it that way from a lack of optimism. I am suffering in an ugly season now also. I pray it will end soon. I think it is a sign of not feeling God's love as I should.

My ugly season has been a season in disguise. Seven years ago this Thursday, I embarked on a joyously anticpated new journey when we brought our son home from the hospital. Now, I'm preparing to return to a full time position outside of my home and it is a jittery, uncertain time for all of us.
I love the metaphor you pose because I, unlike so many others, prefer Winter to Spring. I enjoy Spring, but it means Summer is coming and Summer is my least favorite season. This year, with the freakishly bland winter we've had in Virginia, I have not enjoyed Winter much, either. So the little signs of an early Spring bring anxiety about global climate change and dispointment about an unfulfilling Winter.
And what do I discover as I write this description? This is what has happened in my life, as well. I loved being a full time Mom. I yearned for it before it happened and relished it when it came. However, for the last few years, the rewards have diminshed and the complications have accumulated. I have been too long at home and now I am here by myself while my Son and my Husband are out engaging the world all day. It is time to embrace Spring and shake off a diminished Winter.
So the Ugly Season continues as I wait to hear about jobs I've sought and a postition I hope will be created. And all the while, God sits here patiently holding my hand and whispering, "Not yet. You'll see. My time is perfect. Just wait." So I'll enjoy the early flowers, pick away at the new weeds and anticipate the season to come.

"Was" is the key word here; "was". I was in an ugly season. One of the songs that helps is that childhood favorite, "Jesus Loves Me". Copies of it lay on the "Life Together" table I covered at church yesterday, being on that committee. Whoever wrote that song truly felt the inspiration of the Lord. I feel like I am on the cusp of something more wonderful than I can imagine. Not sure what yet, but hey...I feel blessed.

Jane, I cannnot believe that I opened "Your Encouraging Words" just today! I have been in an "UGLY Season" for over 3 years! Not only have I been dealing with numerous health issues, and I am near the point of having to go to Cleveland or Mayo, I am adjusting to the our "Empty Nest" of three children and my husband's early and UNEXPECTED retirement! I really have not had an appropriate name for it, until I read your last words before your retirement for TCW! What a blessing you have been so many women during your time with TCW! I can now, I think, deal with all of this much better, calling it my, "UGLY SEASON"!---and what a WHOPPER of a SEASON! it has been and continues to be! Thanks to all you other women for sharing with us "Your UGLY Season"! I pray in the name of OUR LORD & SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST, that we each will have a "break" from the UGLY Season we are presently in in the very near future! May Our Loving Father bless each of you in a special way today!
I also ask for prayer, as we are in the area that was hit by the recent tornadoes and we now have two daughter's and their husband's with us. We are also in the process of remodeling our downstairs and we are having to "live" upstairs and now we have 4 extra loved ones staying with us. When our son graduates he will also be here. We have about 8 more weeks on the work to be done! My Empty Nest is going to be filled for awhile again! Imagine that!

I also ask for prayer for our son who is scheduled to graduate from college in May, but just found out last week he may not due to not having the +hours in his major he must have to grad. He is an excellent student, but fell in his grades while battleing Mononucleosis. He is still battling mono, so I ask your prayers for him! He has a 3.7 average, but still not the + points in his major. Please pray for him to accept whatever happens in this matter. Also, he still uncertain as to what he wants to do after graduation-work awhile or go on to get his Master's Degree. Please pray that he will God's answer to this prayer.
Thanks so much to all of you who take time to read this and pray for us as I pray for each of you.
God Bless you all.

Jane, May God lead you directliy into what He has planned for you in your life! Whatever it is I know you will bless many people as you have while at TCW!
Please ask God to help me out of my Ugly season and my "DRY" season without Him.
Love in Christ,
Sandi