Rodent Revenge
I wanted to take vengeance into my own hands.
I pounded viciously on my dining room window. “I’ll get you back!” I promised the squirrel perched atop my backyard fence post.
No doubt he’d struck the same impertinent pose atop my living room couch the previous morning, after strewing the remnants of his garbage-bag feast all over the pillows.
The scent of discarded leftovers must have beckoned him from the chilly outdoors and impelled him through a crevice between my open dining room window and its closed inner storm pane. For immediately after I’d left for work, he’d apparently squeezed through the hole, vaulted onto the floor, and dug gleefully into the kitchen trash waiting to be taken out.
But at such a festive moment, no simple kitchen-floor breakfast had sufficed. So the squirrel had carried his crumbs to the dining room table, where he’d dined elegantly beneath my centerpiece of fresh flowers. Their beauty and fragrance must have lured him too near, however, for the vase had toppled over and, I like to imagine, struck him squarely on the head.
The accident seemed to have set off a frantic search for the portal back to his habitat. And in his fear of never finding an exit, my intruder’s digestive—and excretory—systems had started churning; he’d left droppings along the bedroom baseboards, then pounced onto my desk and deposited a pellet directly between my computer’s G and H keys. He must have made his final deposit—on the bedroom windowsill—while looking longingly through prison-bar windowpanes at his familiar fence post perch.
I wasn’t sure if the squirrel had yet regained that perch when I flicked on the lights that evening and saw on the table a stray cinnamon bun chunk. Only a large rodent could have dragged it there. The same rodent I’d caught clawing at my window only days before the break in.
A frantic call to wildlife control alerted me to the squirrel’s possible hiding spots in my home. And hysterical calls to family, friends, and my landlord soon brought assistance in digging through crammed closets and poking into dark corners.
After a futile search, the recovery process began. I bathed everything, even my leather couch, in Formula 409 cleaner. My father donned rubber gloves and gathered the droppings. A friend stripped my bed and stuffed the sheets into a hot-water, extra-strength wash cycle. And, finally, we moved the furniture to the center of each room and thoroughly scrubbed the floors.
It was a whole-house spring cleaning on a Friday at midnight.
Gone were the dinner plans with my boyfriend. And gone was the money for an overnight hotel stay while I waited to see if strategically placed crackers would lure the squirrel out of any overlooked hiding place.
So to avenge all that was gone, I banged on the window the following morning when I returned to my undisturbed home and glimpsed the cheeky intruder dancing merrily along the backyard tree branches. I berated him with a yell when, the next day, I caught him clinging to my kitchen window screen. And then, one late afternoon the following week, I logged on to a menacing website to browse through high-powered BB guns.
“I can’t have him chewing through my screens and coming in again,” I explained to my landlord, who stopped by a few weeks later with the greeting “Squirrel patrol!” “Don’t shoot him,” he scolded. “Make friends with him.” In my landlord’s rebuke, I heard echoes of my father’s chiding after every childhood fight between my siblings and me. He’d hold us apart and quote his favorite King James Bible verse: “‘Vengeance is mine; I will repay,’ saith the Lord” (Romans 12:19).
But I’ve usually wanted to mete out justice personally, both to punish offenders and to teach them not to attack me again. I’ve rarely trusted God’s vengeance to be better or faster than my imagined repayments. And, as expected, God still hasn’t rained down fire or flood—or at least a shortage of fattening acorns—on that fence-hopping squirrel.
But I’m waiting. And, in the last month, I’ve even feebly attempted squirrel friendship by refraining from taunts and yells. Yet despite my gestures of peace—and a patch on the squirrel’s original entry point—I can’t completely guard myself against another attack. Not unless I resort to murderous vengeance. And that, I’m leaving to the Lord.
In the meantime, I’ll just tap on the window.
Blessings,
Are you ever tempted to take revenge into your own hands? How have you learned to turn your desire for vengeance over to the Lord?
Posted at 9:20 AM on March 24, 2008.
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I'm a dairy farmers wife. We have alot of wild life around the farm were we live. But the animals I yell (attempt to make friends with LOL) are the young heifers who think that the grass is greener in my back yard, the children's sandbox and my back porch which means they walk up a flight of six steps! There is nothing more frightening then to walk into the kitchen and see a heifer steaming up your patio door! I have to admit that I have taken great glee in discovering that one specifically ornory cow was made into hamburger, and she was now in my freezer! Revenge from the Lord!
Posted by: Amy on the Farm on March 28, 2008
Too sadly I have suffered with this. Only when we let God handle it, and He does in HIS TIME, do we have peace of mind. It took me years to figure that out, and I am still "Trusting In His Unfailing Love"
Blessings.
Posted by: LizBeth on March 28, 2008
Andrea, it's not that bad! I can't tell you how many chipmunks I've rescued that my cats have brought into the house. Once they're dropped, they usually run under some low lying furniture, and it's up to me to get to them before the cats do. Squirrels, chipmunks, and ground squirrels abound where I live (in the mountains). I love to watch them. My advice? Think Francis of Assisi!
Posted by: Pam Gilman on March 28, 2008
Wow..I loved this story! We have a squirrel that loves to drive my dogs crazy just by sitting on top of "their" fence, swishing his fluffy tail, and staring into their faces.
Actually, I have heard that corn on the cob placed near the fence will keep them happy and away from the house.
Posted by: Rebecca Mitchell on March 29, 2008
Wow..I loved this story! We have a squirrel that loves to drive my dogs crazy just by sitting on top of "their" fence, swishing his fluffy tail, and staring into their faces.
Actually, I have heard that corn on the cob placed near the fence will keep them happy and away from the house.
Posted by: Rebecca Mitchell on March 29, 2008
Don't feel bad. I think it's worse when you have a squirrel that gets into the crevice of the roof of your apartment, and in an area that is within the walls. Because, you have that horrible scratching and digging, all day long. And, when it rains and they get excited!
Until, they finally burrow their way into the hole they've tenaciously dug around, with those long claws. The only thing that kept it from getting inside, was the ceiling slant in the attic, near the doorway was really high and their was nothing but wall. So, I think it was scared and just kept peeping through the hole. They keep getting in and having babies. They would put up metal plates, and repair and drywall over it. But, they would always continue to just go around it. And, create another hole.
They finally did something to get them out. I think they called, "Critter Control." But, they still jump from the trees and scurry around on the roof. I can hear that they have a little hole they go in. That's what living in a "park-like setting" will do for you. It's best to not have trees or limbs hanging straight to your attics. And, although, they do crawl, jump, and climb. It's more of a deterent when there are not bushes, trees, or anything whereby they can climb to your screens and through openings.
Although, it's illegal to kill them. And, I really would not want to; I have to admit it was very "tempting" to throw a bag of poison on the roof for them to eat. And, just be done with "that particular nusiance of squirrels" that was so territorial! I've even heard if you catch them. You have to release them like 15 miles away or they will just come right back.
It wasn't the squirrel I hated. It was the management people that was too cheap to do anything about it, and, acted like there was nothing they could do! Those squirrels are bigger then most think and they are still part of the rodent (rat) family. Just because they are cuter, do not make them harmless. The repairs to damaged screens and walls can be costly. And, the noise they make is deafening within walls. Also, if they die behind your walls you can smell that! I just thought I'd share my story.
Posted by: The Fox on March 29, 2008
Oh come on. Lets focus on cute stories of fiesty or scared to death rodents rather then focus on God, Jesus and how we are supposed to live in His name with family, friends, co-workers, other students, acquaintances etc. Oh my! what was i thinking.
While reading the story i thought i really do hope that most people are focussing on the main topic and then responding to that so that i can have a better understanding of how others are in the world but not a part of it.
After reading this - i guess i will have to look for Christian living some where's else to see how i can live a better life / be like Christ in difficult situations w/ humans.
Posted by: Kelly Stephens on March 29, 2008
The only squirels I remember in our house was when I was a little kid - probably about 8. My dad had cut down a tree in the front of the house before it fell on the porch roof and in the tree was a nest of baby squirels. I remember my Mom asking me for one of my doll bottles, which I gladly donated to the cause. She made a hole in the nipple with a darning needle and we hand fed the 3 baby squirels until they had their eyes open. At that time it was warmer outside and we put them back in the same area where the tree had been - complete with a grass / straw bed. But we still went out several times during the day to feed them. They got big enough to get their own food and at some point were not in the nest when we went to feed them. But occasionally they did climb out screen door and chatter. It seemed they did that when they were either too tired to get their own food or if the food was in scarce supply!
But that experience has made it very difficult for me to get too mad at the squirels in our yard now that climb the screens or eat from the bird feeders.
We are all God's creatures, even when we are't behaving.
SA
Posted by: Susie on March 30, 2008
Thank you Andrea for sharing your experience with a rodent that sprung up feelings of vengeance within you. Thank you for explaining how it is not our responsibility to take on such a task but to turn it over to the Lord and allow Him to handle the situation - even if it is a pesky squirrel!!
I am always encouraged by you and the other Godly ladies at TCW!
Posted by: Victoria on March 31, 2008
I came home from work to find a hole in our plastic garbage can and garbage all over the back yard. Our squirrell was not long for this world. I took my son's BB gun and waited him out until I shot him out of our tree branch. First shot!! I had never shot anything before in my life. Any more squirrells will get the same treatment. They are nothing more than rodents!
Posted by: Sheila on March 31, 2008
Isn't it interesting how we can find spiritual food in the simplest things of life--even nature. You gotta be looking for them--the bit of preacher in all of us, perhaps.
As for me, I am still not good at turning it over for the Lord's revenge, but I also don't act on it because of the potential long-range consequences. Being long past adolescence, I am able to see future consequences. Come to think of it, I was pretty good at that as an adolescent too, but that was back in the '60s!
Posted by: Cair C on April 1, 2008
Hey, Sheila,
I don't know which was more disturbing: the fact that you killed a squirrel simply because it broke into a garbage bag & scattered it around the yard, or the fact that you seemed to really enjoy doing that! Not a very Godly attitude, if you ask me. The next time a squirrel
messes up your yard, take a deep breath, say a quick prayer for patience, and clean it up. They are just animals doing what animals have to do--eat!
Maybe you should get better-fitting lids for your trash cans rather than resorting to such a violent solution to a simple problem.
I have found if I scatter a bit of food for them every day, such as extra bird seed, peanuts or bread crusts, they leave my trash cans and bird feeders alone. And, no, my yard is NOT overrun with the critters.
If you try a more peaceable way of dealing with this, you might discover that the squirrels are really pretty cute. Remember, God made them, too.
In friendship,
Kathy
Posted by: Kathy on April 1, 2008
Kathy,
Sheila never said she killed the squirrel, only that she was contemplating doing so. But I do agree with you that squirrels are pretty cute! My husband and I enjoy feeding the little guys that frolic in front of our apartment building, though I wouldn't be thrilled if they ever got inside! You also have to be careful with squirrels because they can carry disease or have rabbies. And I sure don't envy the nightmarish clean-up job that Sheila had after the squirrel's "home invasion."
Posted by: Julie on April 3, 2008