I can relate to our story. I saw my first facial hair while riding to visit my college boyfriend's family in another state. The sun was shining in the sunroof. I opened the visor to put on lipstick, and there were hairs I'd never seen before, all over my chin! The last 20 years have been filled with waxing, tweezing, etc. I don't think I've ever felt self-consciousness to the extent you mention, but I do frequently wonder if people can see the hairs on my chin. Funny to me, but not their parents, are the innocent questions of children. Why does Miss Kim have a beard? Don't boys have beards? Equally uncomfortable for me is the frequent Veggie Tales song lyric about Aunt Ruth having a beard. I always hoped my nephew would never notice my "beard". I've thought about laser hair removal, but it isn't in my familiy's budget. So, on I go, ready to laugh about it if anyone should ever make a comment.

Many women aren't aware, but excess hair can be a symptom of a hormonal issue - for example polycystic ovarian syndrome. Rather than treating the symptom - excess hair - treatment can focus on the underlying causes.

Wow, can I relate! I come from very hairy stock and have spent more time than I care to admit tweezing, shaving, bleaching and schlepping to the laser removal guy (and don’t get me started on my light-up magnifying mirror – it’s addicting!). Whenever I discover another woman shaves her arms or is paranoid about rogue whiskers, I feel I've met a kindred spirit! Thankfully, as an adult, I’ve come to see my hair as more of a laughing matter than a threat to my femininity. And you know what? Considering all the health issues out there, I'd take a cosmetic annoyance any day!

Andrea,
I loved your post!! O that we girls could arrive at the 'free to be me" place in our hearts so much sooner than we do. We could save ourselves so much money and so much pain!! I found your blog tonight while wandering through blogworld researching for a book that I am wrting called "Are Pantylines a Sign of Godliness, Should Christian Women Wear Thongs??"(Kregel,2009) The book idea was generated by some of these very kinds of issues during a season that I was working through with my teenage daughter. You mentioned the "unchristain like" desire to obtain a hairfree body. How sad it is that our culture sends such a loud message to young girls about our need for perfection and magazine cover kind of beauty.
Good for you for pressing through all of that to find the love for yourself that God so desires for his girls!!
Now, just remeber what you have learned when you get into the dressing room and pruchase that summer swimsuit! You are "wonderfully made"!!

You are a brave lady! Thanks for your transparency. It makes others of us who battle this problem feel more normal.

It seems we are never happy with our bodies. When I was young I argued with God over being too skinny. Now I struggle with getting rid of those extra ten pounds, and wish I was skinny again. I have struggled with the hair issue too. Finally I figured out that if God made me this way, and loves me this way, why am I being so self-conscious—anyone who doesn't like me the way He made me I don't need in my circle of friends. I try to look nice, but also try not to obsess over it anymore. Thanks for your candor.

Andrea, thank you for your post. Not even five minutes ago I deleted a picture of myself from my web account because I could see the shadow of black hairs on my upper lip. God is so Awesome and this article was definitely right on time.

Let's love our bodies the way God made them and stop shaving period! I haven't shaved my legs for 6 months. I did break down and shave my armpits when I had shoulder surgery recently. It's hard to get over the stigma of what is expected. What will others think of me if I don't shave?!

I am currently considering breast implants. I am 39 yrs old, married with 2 sons that I nursed. I'm also a tiny person, size 2, with very small breasts. I've always been embarassed by how small they are - 34A, and I don't want to be huge, maybe a full B cup or small C. The good reasons? I'll feel overall better about myself - I can wear clothes that I can't wear now, and my husband would enjoy them too! tee hee! The reasons not too? Vanity. Hmmmm - we'll see about it -

I too will mention that there are many women who exhibit excess hair growth who have polycystic ovarian syndrome. My daughter has this condition and it is my recommendation that anyone who deals with some or all of the symptoms mentioned in the following website, get appropriate testing by a doctor who has experience treating this syndrome. My daughter tested positive when she was 16 and was put on birth control to regulate menstruation. When she received additional testing by another physician as an adult, she was told that she did not have this condition. I believe the false results were due to her hormone levels being normalized by birth control pills. After she was off of them for some time and was unable to conceive, she was again tested by another physician, it was again confirmed. It used to be thought that only overweight women were affected but this is not the case. My daughter is extremely thin. The following website is very reliable and goes into great detail concerning this health problem: http://www.webmd.com/content/article/4/1680_51208

The funny thing is, I thought shaving underarms was normal! I come from a pretty hairy family, and didn't get upset until I started seeing facial hair, but I still have come to the point where I love what I see when I walk past the mirror and am less self-conscious about it. Thanks so much for your transparency!

The lord has made us 'wonderously' and we have to understand, accept and believe that.
The time and the money spent obsessing over such issues can be gauged in their true prespective when looked at from afar but never in the middle of the situation.
I do pray that our daughters see that in our lives and don't have to go through that fire to realize God's craftmanship !!

I have always had dark facial hair (I see now that I inherited it from my grandmother!). I too thought it was hormones but I was on the pill and then off the pill and it never made a difference with me facial hair. My "mustache" is rather dark (well, the hair on my head is naturally jet black) and so is very noticable. I use to get teased (even as an adult! Can you believe?!) for having a "mustache" (I thought the teasing would have ended in school when I heard comments like how I had more fuzz on my upper lip than such-and-such boy). Anwyay, I self-conscious, I started using Jolin and Sally Hansen facial bleach. BIG MISTAKE! I have dark hair, the rest of the peach fuzz on my face is dark, so walking around with a blond mustache was even MORE obvious and embarassing. I am still very self-conscious about the hair on my upper lip. I can't laser or wax it off without creating a distinct (and even more embarassing) distinct line in contrast to the rest of my facial peach fuzz that is not removed. I don't know the answer to my problem. I am not sure what the solution is (I am thinking a Nare facial mask!) But I do have to contend with my insecurity about my facial hair on a daily basis.

Thank you, Andrea, for sharing. I am of Polish descent and have polycystic ovarian syndrome - a double whammy! I tweeze, squeeze, shave, waxed and yes, have tried all of those awful chemicals that only succeeded in burning my face! And those hairs persist. I am self conscious, yet I try to remember that God is good and we are so precious in His sight --even with our bumps, wrinkles and hair!
Kim - I relate to the VeggieTales song and other references to "bearded ladies"...I've also found that a sense of humour really does help.

I can totally relate to your problem with being to hairy. I have the same problem. I keep getting stubble on my skin no matter how many times I pluck it out. My arms are hairy too!! I too am self concious about all this hair and are worried someone is going to notice and think ewwww. I would like to get laser hair removal, but can't afford it right now. I will in the future when I can so I can gain some self confidence back.

I also can totally relate to your story. For me it started when I was in High School. My mom was getting electrolysis teatments, so I figured I would need to also someday. Then when a boy in my class asked if I knew I had a mustach I knew it was time. I've pretty much cleared up my upperlip, chin, and underarms (dark shadow like you said). Like you said there are always straglers, but as I've gotten older I am less concerned about the hair. I get touch-up treatments a couple times a year. That's enough for me.

Thanks for sharing and helping others know that they are not alone.

I am so grateful for these articles. Up to not so long ago I suffered with hair loss. The most strangest thing is I never could get comfortable wearing wigs. I believe the Lord was doing a new thing in me and it is still evolving. Society sends messages, especially to women, that we must have airbrushed skin, pearly white teeth, long manes of hair, flawless skin and on an on it goes. We do not realize until we have spent thousands of dollars and fretted every single day trying to hide behind this and that, that God did not intend for us to live this way. He says we are fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are his works (psalm 139). What happens to all of us is a lie from the enemy. I say Women Keep Your Mind on Jesus and Take care of yourselves. Obsess on God and not on yourselves and you'd be surprise how much beauty is in that. God Bless You Pretty Ladies!

I also have polycystic ovarian syndrome and experienced the facial hair that goes with it. I plucked them out until I learned about electrolysis. I would recommend this treatment if possible.

Thanks for all your comments. It makes me feel better to know that others are also going through the same experiences I did.

God Bless

Everyone else has said it all, but I wonder! How did you make it through 6 weeks of long hair on your chin waiting for the day you could get the laser treatment?

I don't know that I could last 6 weeks.

I am reddish-blondish-grayish, and very fair, but still have those ugly chin hairs.

But I love myself, just as Jesus loves me and gave Himself for me, chin hairs and all.

That's so nice and refreshing to read articles like this. I became conscious of my hairiness when I started to shave my legs during my early youth. However, I didn't notice the hair on my face until my mom commented on it. Although I'll keep waxing my chin regularly, when I asked my doctor if this could be hormonal, based on some medical studies results I got, I felt just fine when she answered that us latin girls tend to have more hair. To be cormfortable in my own skin for me is more important than trying to fit on how people think I should look. Thanks God for keeping us, your daugthers, on the right perspective.

Thanksfor your posting, Andrea. I enjoyed reading the other comments & agree that we Christian gals should look at this issue from God's view. We need to remember we are in this world, but not part of this world. We don't need to try to met our culture's standards of beauty. Who started this trend of shaving, anyway? I have stopped shaving as don't see why to do it & I am "free to be me." As I age, I find I care less about what others think of me as you can only please some of the people some of the time.

I too enjoyed your article. I know that plastic surgery and laser are not the same but, I feel this also relates.
I have had breast cancer. I had a mastectomy on my left breast at 42. I had to make a decision about if I wanted to get reconstruction for a new breast. I had some choices, do nothing, be one sided, wear a very heavy rubber thing that fit inside my bra, (actually it was pretty cool but, it was a bother to put on everyday) get implants, or a surgery called a Tram. (That's the short word for it) The doctor cuts fat from the stomach and creates a breast shape then sewing it to the chest wall ("it" meaning the stomach fat now a new breast shape with complementary stretch marks from 3 kids because remember it is really my stomach) it's was sewn on my blank flat, caved in, left side that had once had a breast. Hope your not grossed out and confused. I would be. It's really amazing when it happens to you. Because it is such a fascinating medical process. Isn't God smart!!!

My mother also had cancer when in her early 40's. So facing this herself she told me that I should have the reconstruction. She knew what happened to her and she knew I would be happier. She has been such a rock for me. I was just going to live with what had happened and be lopsided. I had been hanging down south for yrs anyway nursed all 3 kids. so what's so big about going from hanging down to lopsided right. Wasn't very funny at the time.

I had to decide for myself if I wanted to get the reconstruction and get a new perky breast (I did have to return or exchange the old breast anyway) So.. back to reconstruction, rubber raft, implants, lopsided or nothing. Well at first I chose nothing and wore the rubber raft. I didn't like it to well.

I didn't really want the 2 more surgeries that came with the package deal. I like knowing where I am when I wake up.. and I get sick from the antiseptic (yuck )from surgery. About a yr after my cancer I decided to do the reconstruction. Then took a yr to get insurance ok'd. I did the tram procedure. My plastic surgeon which is very experienced and a Godly doctor took that ugly fat stomach and built a breast. I got a tummy tuck AND a new firm breast, I figured I might as well go for the surgery that would benefit me the most. Pain is Pain.

What a happy ending right. It is except now I need a new firm breast on the right side. It nursed my kids to... I am just kidding I mean I do but if it ain't broken don't fix it right. It works just fine. Those push up bras are great.

I try to do my 6 month check-ups faithfully. The thought that it could happen again is always there when I have to go back for a check-up. The doctors watch me very close. And I try to be very pro active with my health. There are also programs for women who do not have insurance for mammograms and test. These is NO excuses. If any one wants to talk to me about this I would be happy to. Do some research. The earlier you catch cancer the better your outcome will be.

I am so glad I did decide to do the reconstruction.. It has taken me around 2 yrs to get back on track. But I am now all healed and I went back to school to start a career. I will never be on Top Model but I can wear a normal bra and I feel good about myself and not sad when I look in the mirror. My profession is a esthetician I am going to do waxing and facials.That is why I relate to your story and a lot of the other women that wrote in. I feel why should we go through this life upset about things that we can change.
If we cannot change a problem or situation that is one thing. When my children were small 17-20 yrs ago. I heard Dr. James Dobson say change things that you can change when it come to children. If people tease them try to change what they are being teased about. I heard him say that many yrs ago. He may have changed his opinion now. I don't know. But it always stuck with me through my children's lives.

I was teased about my nose (I got my dad's) all through my childhood. It hurt. I just wanted to be like everyone else. And it really effected my life at the time. I might still have a nose job someday. Even at 47 yrs old sometimes I think about it and get upset. I know God helped me get through those times. But I wouldn't let my children go through things I could change. God blessed them with pretty noses.(Thanks God)

There has to be balance in all of us, of course Seasoned Christians know that.
I feel the same about we adults. If my body hair bothers me, if I could I would fix it.
God has blessed us with health, prosperity,knowledge and wisdom. It is our responsibility to be who God wants us to be to our husbands,families, and this world.
I thank God for my life. I pray I will be able to help someone that maybe have been teased or is hurting in other ways and maybe doesn't know God.

I want to be a life that has the power of a living God. Lord I pray for my sisters in Christ. Let us go where you want us to go, and to do what you want us to do,let us be a light and a vessel for you, our Precious Savior. You look at our hearts. Not our bodies. We thank you for creating us. With all our imperfections that we needlessly worry about.

Let us strive to have pure and forgiven hearts in your eyes. We pray for women that maybe going through something that may be larger or what we may think smaller than the subjects talked about and shared. We know that you will carry us, heal us and wipe our tears. We love You Lord

This is truly God sent. Only last night I was agonising over my facial hair especially the ones on my chin. I am naturally a light skinned African and would have loved to maintain my skin colour however I try to downplay my fairness because of the fact that my facial hair will be more prominent.

Actually, I have been praying for a day that I will have the resources to go abroad and have my facial hair surgically removed as shaving them seems to increase them.

Nevertheless, it is reassuring that other women, Xtians at that, have the same problem and are willing to accept the way God created them. God bless u for sharing with us.

Bussy (Nigeria)

I'm pretty hairy too :) and the funny thing is my husband is a lot more. We always say our children will be little bears of how hairy they will be. We laugh but we know that when the time comes, me will be able to talk to them and teach them to love what God has given them. The word of God does say we are the temple of the Holy Spirit, so we should always take care of it and keep it nice and neat, but not going to an extreme of vanity. Thank you God for making us hairy! "always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" Ephesians 5:20

wow this makes me feel alot better.
im 16 and i have bad sideburns..
i didnt really have bad ones before..they were decent..but for some reason i shaved them and now they are huge long and hairy..i feel so vain obbesing over them but i dont want to wear my hair up anymore cuz they are ugly and hate looking at them..i feel like i did this to myself i should have been comfortable with what god gave me before!

I wish I have more hair... I'm losing a lot of hair for the past 8 years. There are patches all over my scalp. I've met skin specialists, took so many tests, swallowed countless numbers of tablets but in vain...

After reading your article, I realize that not only losing hair is a problem but even having too much hair can is a problem, too.

But one thing I learn through this unpleasant experience is to accept and love ourselves as God accepts and loves us... just the way we are. Thus I have learn to stand tall over the years despite the many questions and comments of others.

Carpe Deim!

Thanks for sharing, Andrea. I am surprised that I did not come across anyone mentioning electrolysis. I am 53 and I finally have a clear chin after 15 years of tweezing and squeezing. I was very self concious about the darkness and breakouts on my chin. Tweezing is bad for the skin. The hair follicles find it more difficult to come thru the skin and then they start to grow inward. At one point I had to use a strong antibiotic cream because my chin would not clear up. Electrolysis is much cheaper than laser and it lasts longer. For the woman who had the heavy upper lip hair, but was afraid that laser treatment would give such a distinquished mark, I would recommend electrolysis for thinning the hair in that area. I can live with being a bit flat chested, and having wrinkles, but not having the ugly marks on my face. Taking good care of our skin is just good hygiene.

I just want to thank Andrea for posting this. Its a relief to see so many women deal with similiar pains. It IMMEDIATELY caught my attention. I personally have been dealing with a very low self-image/confidence for years because I was diagnosed with PCOS at 15 yrs olds. I'll be 29 in a week, and God knows this is a sore subject on my heart. I can say I resigned to the fact that my facial hair is there, I can't afford the laser treatments, and all I do is shave it off with a razor and hide it as best as I can with concealers and make-up, and pray people will look me in the eyes when they speak to me and ignore the hair.

For years I used Nair, and all kinds of creams, and was afraid of developing face and neck cancer from those smelly chemicals, so I gave that up. I've gotten used to and even good at hiding the hair evidence with the make-up but I know that people know its there. My reflexes are crazy whenever I see anyone trying to make a harmless affectionate gesture aimed at my face. Do I love my body and the curves and complexion I have? Absolutely! Do I appreciate my health otherwise? Absolutely! But I can't get over the beard, mustache and sideburns that persist unmercifully. Thats the visible part. With PCOS, as in my particular case, everything is exaggerated, so I have hair on my breasts, abdomen, buttocks, everywhere. So believe me when I tell you it is indeed a source of great emotional pain not limited to the face. The humiliation and disappointment I've experienced is unreal. The creams, waxing, even the laser cannot guarantee permanent success, but the hassle, even the dangers of it are all worth the day you have smooth skin to the touch.

The bottom line is yes, as a Christian daughter of Christ, I accept that he has created me wonderfully, and that he loves me so much. However, people, perhaps because of their sinful nature are evil. I'm so used to the looks and humiliation that happens occassionally, that I have a front for the public because I work in a very public environment. But my soul weeps with each new growth. It is beyond awful, especially in the plastic culture we enjoy today. This condition and this "fact of life" of mine is more emotionally detrimental than people realize. I have had family members that try to say words of encouragement, because they do tell me I am beautiful and wonderfully made (please do not think I'm obsessed and selfishly dwelling on a non-issue), but when your mom, or a loving aunt/sister offer you words of encouragement and you can see in their eyes that they are thankful they don't have that problem--it hurts. I would love to get married one day, as I know the Lord has placed that desire in my heart, but as a woman, how can I feel feminine when you have HAIR EVERYWHERE that people won't accept? I know I can grow a beard better than any man! I'm a natural joker, so don't get me wrong you have to laugh about it inorder not to cry, but it is tough to deal with.

It is what is, and I hope eventually I'll put together the money to manage the laser treatments. I don't care if I have to spend the rest of my life paying for it, its worth every penny. At this point once I can get started on that, I know my confidence will improve. If I meet a Godly-man who can look past that, and appreciate me the way I know God created me to be great--that is my greatest hope along with my healing. In the meantime, I cannot build relationships the way I probably should for someone in my age, and social personality, but I"m working on it, through prayer. My Heavenly Father does show me how much he loves me though, so that keeps my chin up.

Electrolysis is indeed the most effective form of hair removal. However, I'd recommend working only with an electrologist who has earned the Certified Professional Electrologist (CPE) designation. For more information, go to this Web site: http://www.electrology.com.

It is good to know that other women struggle like me.
Every other day or so I look for stray hairs on my chin and face. I use cuticle scissors to trim on the mustache line and I tweeze under my chin. It is not something that I would be comfortable letting go. Excess dark facial hair, in my opinion is masculine and not pretty.

I personally feel more confidant and feminine without a mustache and I see nothing wrong with wanting to appear feminine but thanks to you I see unhealthy the obsession is and I agree- yes I could relax a little!

One thing for sure is husband would not find it attractive if I let it go! I will continue doing what I can to control the hair but I agree that it can become obsessive and I have to watch out for that. Also checking for the root causes is wise and eye opening- thank you.

Kat

i have sideburns and am hairy but i tend to shave at least once in two weeks cos i dnt like hairs atall,but reading this article has given me a change of mind.

Kat, are you my clone? Reading your post, I felt like I already wrote in!

It is a fine line to walk between valuing the body God gave you and doing things to make you feel more attractive and confident, especially in this looks-oriented culture. Like all decisions, each must discern what is right for them through prayerful consideration.

Cair C.

Wow, have I found some kindred spirits! I am Italian and in my mid 40's. I have chestnut hair and a very nice mustache that extends down the sides of my chin. I have thought about permanent removal but, frankly, it just doesn't bother me that much. I get a bit self-conscious about it a lot but just not enough to give it up. I used to shave it but I don't like the feel of my upper lip fuzz-less, even with hair removers. It seems to get super sensitive and the skin gets sore. The hairs are not extremely dark so I just bleach them and go about my business. I'm sure people notice it but haven't said anything. I do make reference to "my mustache" in a humorous way. I guess I've just decided to go with it. God made me this way, so I'm fine with it. I am very glad to have found this posting because I have tried to find places where this kind of subject can be talked about with supportive others without getting into some of the bizarre and risque topics that often come up. I'm very heartened to find other women who have worked through their cosmetic issues and find joy in their God-given beauty. Thank you all!

HI EVERY ONE! WAS just reading your comments and stories. I to started to obsess with facial hair! I had side burns which to be honest were not to bad. But my aunty said that lasering them would make them permanently dissapear! well, lets just say that didnt happen. As you know, lasering means shaving your hair before the treatment and inbetween if growth appears. Well, that was it for me. You see every one has fine hair on their face so when i started to shave it i was shaving bits which were not hairy and before i knew it i had hair on my jaw line, neck and sides. It was the worst thing i ever did. Laser works on thick dark hairs. Its great for body but if your hairs on your face are not that thick and dark i would not reccomend laser. I have now started electrolosis which is much more permanent and effective! so go for electrolosis on the face!

And remember most importantly GOd loves us how we are. We in turn need to receive his divine love and love our selves. We are all beautiful in his sight.

God bless