Closet Christian
Why my walk-in’s become a sacred place
My master bedroom has a walk-in closet. By today’s standards (based on the closets in model homes or on HGTV’s Househunters), my meager walk-in hardly qualifies as spacious storage space. It’s rather tight, tiny, and—I hate to admit—at times a tad funky-smelling. But despite the chaos of stinky sneakers, dirty laundry, tangled hangers, and assorted jumbled shoeboxes, my closet has become a sacred place.
That’s because, as a child, I was captivated by Jesus’ words on prayer: “When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you” (Matthew 6:5-6).
In the wee ranch house where I grew up, my bedroom was my sanctuary. But my real “inner sanctum,” the only space that made me feel uninhibited enough to unload my youthful angst onto God, was my closet. Crouched in its dark, tiny confines, I’d spill tears of anger and words of confusion over childhood slights and perceived parental wrongs. I took God literally at his word, going into the only secret place I had, trusting my heavenly Father, who saw my hidden heartbreaks, would meet me there.
As I matured and moved away from home, this habit fell by the wayside. After all, how convenient is a literal prayer closet in a dorm room, an apartment with a roommate, or a home shared with a spouse?
But several years ago, I rediscovered the power of closeted prayer. My husband was recovering from a routine out-patient surgery that had unexpectedly revealed a suspicious tumor. That afternoon, my husband and I were scheduled for a follow-up with the surgeon to review pathology results.
As my husband slept downstairs on a recliner, I stood before our bedroom mirror, struggling to make myself presentable for the upcoming physician visit. My stomach knotted with apprehension, my face haggard from worry, I was so overwhelmed with distress that I walked into our closet, shut the door, flung myself onto its floor, and broke down in the darkness. God! God! I flailed. Help me! I'm frightened my husband has cancer! I'm so afraid of losing him!
Somewhere between my flowing snot and convulsive sobs, God’s presence filled that closet. His voice—inaudible, yes, but clearer than any sound I’ve ever heard—told me, “Everything will be OK.”
That stunning and unexpectedly powerful encounter left me almost dizzy. I arose, blew my nose, wiped tears off my face, and suddenly felt electrified by an unassailable sense of God’s absolute control over our scary circumstances. God—the God of the universe!—had seen my distress in that secret space and had chosen to personally comfort me. And although my husband’s diagnosis turned out to be the one we'd dreaded, God graciously restored my beloved to health, fulfilling what God had told me he'd do in the secrecy of my closet.
I’ll never forget that experience. Since then, whenever I need to process and pray with a candor I’d feel uncomfortable sharing among others, I head toward my walk-in closet. There I momentarily shut out distractions and concentrate on seeking God alone, in secret. For the last few weeks, I’ve been going there often, agonizing over some transitions in my life, seeking his guidance and grace. But I’m confident that as I surrender myself, surrounded by clutter and chaos and funk, my heavenly Father, who sees what is done in secret, once again will be faithful.
Blessings,
Do you have a special place to go for prayer? Have you ever experienced a powerful encounter with God there?
Posted at 3:58 PM on February 18, 2008.
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Comments
I had a prayer closet when I was in college. I lived in a suite with four other girls and would wake up early and climb into our large closet/pantry and have my bible study. My non-Christian roommates more than once were startled to find me there in the morning although not often since they slept later. It was a real oasis for me.
Posted by: Micah Girl on February 22, 2008
this was a powerful articile. I felt the move of God as I read it. For it is in the secret place he will meet you.
Posted by: Diane on February 22, 2008
Jane
Thank your for sharing about your prayer closet. I have started to use a small makeup room between my bedroom and my master bath as the place I am learning contempletive, centering prayer. It is one place where I can get silent and the rest of the noises in my fair to busting house do not reach me. I thought it was weird at first but it is becoming my go to place for being in the Presence of Abba Father. I think it will be a great place for the intercessory prayer I also do. Prayer is a conversation with our Lord and Savior and I am excited that I am taking time to allow him to have a quiet place where I can hear his words. Sometime the simple things open the windows and doors to heaven. God bless and keep you.
Posted by: Becky Watson on February 22, 2008
I have friends who have made a sacred space in their closets just so they can be alone with God for a bit. I'm currently--slowly, but surely--clearning our the clutter so that I, too, can create my own personal closet grotto.
Cheers!
Andrea
Posted by: Andrea on February 22, 2008
So far 52 people have voted regarding do you have a special place to pray, and over 1/2 of us said NO. In reading your story, your experienced touched my heart ... and I wished I had a WALK in closet ... but I do have extra rooms in my home I could use. I want to have the feeling of closness to my Father as you did Jane. How interesting I never took that literally as a child or an adult ... and I am a pretty 'literal' person most of the time. Thank you for sharing your tender story with us. May the 50+% who don't have a special place look for the place to go meet with our Father.
Blessings,
LouAnn
Posted by: LouAnn on February 22, 2008
I just wanted to thank you for reminding me that the Father does see the things I do in secret... sometimes we forget that. God wants my heart to be true to him and confess my sin to Him in secret, but He wants the world to see my strength comes from HIM.
Posted by: Laura on February 22, 2008
The bathtub is my favorite "closet", hands down. A great deal of spiritual formation and communication with God at the deepest, most transparent levels has taken place for me there. No one interrupts, it occurs first thing in the morning or last at night, and it's good for the body as well as the soul and spirit. Truly nothing is hidden...
Posted by: gwen on February 22, 2008
Jane, I always enjoy your blog! We are at similar life stages and I often relate to your perspective on life. Thanks for sharing this.....I, too, have been finding God in new ways in "the secret place" which varies according to the weather. Sometimes, outdoors, sometimes on my face on the shag carpet in the livingroom. Having been a believer for over 30 years, I am just now learning the delights of being able to be "real" with my Father and know that He delights in my coming to Him, snot and all!
Posted by: Pam on February 22, 2008
Praise God you had the courage to share thoes thoughts, I for one need to spend more time in my closet and let God speak to me thanks Jane that was so appreciated God Bless.
Posted by: Pearl on February 22, 2008
Yes, I do have a special place that I go for those times I need to cry out to God. There have been several times in the last six months that I have received a definite reply from the Lord, but only after I had poured out the whole concern to Him and had nothing more to say. Then, He has answered my pleas and relieved my concern, leaving me in a state of joy, praising Him and giving Him all the glory for the outcomes that I now look forward to seeing either in this life or in the the life to come!
Posted by: Jane K on February 22, 2008
I often pray in the bathroom. The same sense of seclusion. When you are afraid and feel alone in a house full of people, it is nice to feel alone with God, to focus, to listen, to develop peace with knowing He heard when no one else has.
Posted by: janine on February 22, 2008
Jane,
Thank you so much for sharing that. I too have a small walk-in and had dropped a small rug into the center of it because I could not think what to do with it when we moved in. One day I needed to pour my heart out and the only place I could do it without interruption was that closet on that rug. It is now my favorite place to commune with God.
God bless!
Posted by: Tracy DiNardo on February 22, 2008
Great blog. It can be quite challenging, particularly for young moms, to find quiet and private places to meet with the Lord.
That's probably why Susanna Wesley used to pull her apron over her head to pray. And Jill Briscoe has said that she would put the kids in a childproofed room, and she would sit INSIDE the playpen there to do her devotions.
I guess it's all about flexibility for multi-tasking moms! And God knows!
Blessings,
Linda N
http://practicallyathome.blogspot.com
Posted by: Linda N on February 22, 2008
My grandmother( a prayer warrior) was a widow at a young age and had to raise 4 very active children. She had a special chair in her living room that she always sat in when we went to visit. I was blessed enough to "inherit" it, and now it is MY prayer chair. It sits lovingly in MY living room and is a place I go to pray.
Posted by: Cynthia Vander Giessen on February 22, 2008
I also go int my closet to pray. There is a peace that you feel when you know God is there just to listen to you. Everyone should have a special place that only God and they meet.
Posted by: Debra on February 23, 2008
Thanks for this article. I like to pray, read the Bible and sing scripture to the Lord in my car when I have a waiting time. It is quiet and feels like it is just me and the Lord. Also, I keep a prayer journal and that seems somewhat like a prayer closet.
Posted by: Janice on February 23, 2008
It's the bathroom for me. Unconventional, maybe, but as Regina Spektor once said, it's "the truest room in the whole *&#$ house." :)
My room was always messy, so I couldn't fit in my closet if I wanted to! Under the covers just didn't feel secure enough. The bathroom was always reliable. The door locked, you could turn off the lights, you could just hang out with God and cry if you needed to, it was perfect.
I lost that in college, of course, because we had one hall bathroom. It was like any public restroom, people coming and going all the time. No privacy, really. That first year was really hard when it came to prayer; it was really hard to be alone when you have a roommate and you live in a dorm. But I survived.
But even now, when things happen and I need to pray, I feel God kind of calling me back to the bathroom...it's dorky, I know, but it's where he always met me...and meets me. :)
Posted by: Cattie-Bree Skye on February 24, 2008
wonderful timely message talking straight to me to examine my ways to unnderstand and to apply.
Posted by: eimanehi on February 25, 2008
Dear Jane,
Thank you for this article, I do have a special place of prayer. It is just beside my bed-on the floor. Whenever I really feel like praying, I just go there and take a posture-lying down, sitting down or kneeling down.
That has been my special place for over a year now. But many years ago, when I shared a room with someone who was less tolerant of my prayer I had another one-under the bedsheets. So one afternoon I had a beautiful encounter with the Lord. As I finished praying and began to worship the Lord with a song I was getting used to, tears began to flow from my eyes and I continued to sing that song and cry for at least an hour. God's presence was so real and so strong under my blanket, it was the first time in my life to ever cry during worship.
Arrah.
Posted by: Arrah on February 25, 2008
Jane,
Thank you for sharing. I had forgotten that verse of scripture. My husband is not a christian and while he knows I study my bible and pray I sometimes have to hide to pray so he won't see the tears. I don't have a location I go to everytime. Sometimes the bathroom rug, sometimes I will go to the park and sit in my car. I've never thought of my closet and am seeing how much space I could make. Thank you.
Posted by: Tonya on February 25, 2008
I also have a closet I enter to pray.In my closet over stuffed w/ clothing/shoes/purses/a mirror and make up and lotions.I also have a black and white picture of a women kneeling before Our Lord on the cross.I also have prayer requests tacked on the wall that I have prayed through. It is in this quiet place I go to daily to prepare my day. I also prepare within my soul to meet w/ my savior and feel his healing presence.Such a great peace to know Our Savior in the Secret place.
Posted by: Rose on February 25, 2008
Although everyone may not have a closet or some sacred place to commune with Jesus, but I too have not found that one closet or sacred place literally, but I have found a sacred place in mind, where I shut out everthing around me and cry out to the Lord in my spirit with prayer and worship admonishing who he is and the beautiness of holiness.
Although you may not have a closet or some sacred room to cry out to Lord, make that sacred place in your mind and shut out the world you may be driving in your car, pull over and cry out, you may be in the shower/bath cry out, in your bedroom cry out, in your home just looking out of the windom cry out, SHUT THE DOOR IN YOUR MIND AND CRY OUT TO HIM AND LET HIM COMFORT YOU! GOD BLESS EVERYONE OUR SAVIOR IS SO SOON TO COME AND HE SHALL WIPE EVERY TEAR FROM OUR EYES!
Posted by: God-Child on February 25, 2008
I have not found one place, but I have a wonderful shawl that speaks to me of my godly Scottish grandmother, and my love of the sea.... and that has become a prayer shawl that often escorts me to that secret place with the Lord.
Posted by: Kath on February 25, 2008
Ah! I can't wait to go home and try the closet! I first met God under a wool blanket at camp in Michigan and have just recently started to pray ( now an empty nester, so it can be anywhere) under a wool shawl that someone purchase for me. It seems to settle my heart with warmth and let me tune out the world while I commune with the Lord. I will take it to the closet today! The Lord will bless all who seek His face!
Posted by: Mary Anne on February 26, 2008
i do pray in my bed at nights the time my husband is a sleep ore the time i am alone in the bed.
the closet is a good room to be alone ,if you need rest in daytime ,i lives a long time with my family in a little appartment and i used that time often the closet to be bymyself,even we are only 3 persons,myhusband and our child and now we are living in a big appartment i do still use the closet sometimes to have some peace formyself and i willnow try to pray more in the closet,thank you for the idea. margit
Posted by: margit on February 26, 2008
Am encouraged with all the comments on prayer.
I have a problem in seeking the lord and would desire to be helped mostly in diligently seeking His face. I do not have a closet but mostly have time in my bedroom. My husband is away and children in boarding school. Please send recommendation on how to rejuvinent my pray line. Despirately need help.
Posted by: Beatrice on March 7, 2008
Thanks everyone for reminding me that we need a place for specific request to our Father. I need it more now that ever before in my life.
Posted by: Hattie Hicklen on March 8, 2008
This was an incredible article! Thank you for your candid and vulnerable comments re: your prayer closet. I too have a walk-in closet that I haven't been spending enough time in prayer in there lately.
Thank you for refreshing my memory of God's faithfulness to show up just when we need HIM most! Some of my moments spent in there I wouldn't trade for anything in the world!
Posted by: Nan Masterson on March 11, 2008
I HAVE TO SAY GOD BLESS AND MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU. GOD PRESENT TO BE ALL AROUND WE HAVE TO NO OUR CLOSET ISN'T THE PLACE WE CHOOSE BUT WHAT HE CHOOSE FOR US. MY PLACE IS MY CAR MY BATHROOM AND MY FLOOR I FEEL WHEN EVER THERE IS A TIME TO PRAY IS NOW. THE WAY THE WORLD IS GOING WE NEED PRAYERS LIKE US TO UPHOLD THIS CRUMBLING WORLD LETS KEEP PRAYING FOR ALL. PRAY MY HEALTH AND STRENGTH IN CHRIST JESUS
Posted by: SAYIEDA DAVIS on May 15, 2008