So, we had an unusual honeymoon, sharing it with 15 basketball players. Our every move was under scrutiny, and evidently we didn't look like ecstatic newlyweds every moment. When we came home 16 days later, we learned there was a rumor that our marriage was on the brink of break-up. What made it worse was that someone had taken it upon themselves to share this rumor with my ill grandmother. Thank God, she passed the tidbit along to my mother, who calmly assured her she had just spoken to us, and we really were quite fine.

Tough talk. But true. Thanks Jane.

Gossip. What can you say about this weed that grows and grows. I work in an office where there is always gossip going on and I mean always. I try my best to ignore or walk away from it, but somehow I always get caught up in hearing it. I pray about it every day because I am really convicted about it. I want to be a better person and not participate. I am just too weak but I know that God is much stronger and will help me through this. Gossip isn't pretty and it only causes problems. Most of the time it isn't really true and it is just wrong.

Often one is thrown into gossip as a part of wanting to be in the know of what's going on. Gossips are often people that need to be a part of what's going on. When it becomes vicious and people are being torn apart it truly shows a person that has deep rooted issues that need to be addressed (often insecurity, rejection, etc.) It can get worst in prayer ministries if you are not careful and have a strong position on integrity! We must guard our tongues and be honest enough with ourselves to acknowledge our faults and parts of a subtle sin that can capture us.

The only thing that I can say is that I have been on both sides of it. And it really is no fun on either side. All I can do is ask GOD to forgive me and to help me the next time when it comes, whether it be from me or about me.

Sheryl

I am concerned that some of my Christian friends and family circulate questionable e-mails without knowing if they are true or false. An example is one concerning a prominent politician and his beliefs. I check www.snopes.com for truthfulness before sending questionable e-mails on to others and believe that I, as a Christian, have a responsibility to do so. I think folks unknowingly spread malicious, untruths via e-mail and wonder where that fits into the life and actions of Christians. Even done in error, I believe we are responsible for our actions.

I feel strongly that when we spread untrue e-mail it's the same as spreading lies and gossip. I also feel strongly that we should check messages first to consider whether we want to become party to damaging someones reputation.

A friend and I were going down the roads happily eating a Frosty and viewing Christmas lights. What began as a frolicky and fun time became a catty critique of many places we looked. We realized that not only were we opinionated, but totally over critical and downright mean. No, we didn't need to be talking like that. It was not only the lights we were talking about, but essentially being judgemental about the people and running our mouths in the process. We ended up getting home and not really feeling good about it or ourselves. I know God doesn'twant me talking like that. God forgive me for being so nasty and judgemental. I feel I need to read James....AGAIN! God is good and were it not for his forgiveness what would we do

I have to admit that I, too, struggle with gossip. Gossip is a way of making you look better than the next person. But in doing so you have tear down the that other person. I'm making a committment to not gossip about other people. I want to be known as a woman who has mercy and kindness. Thanks for article.

Thank you so much for this article. The pervasiveness of gossip in the church-mostly among women can be a stumbling block to many (for those who are participating in it and those harmed by it). We as women need to address the sin of gossip head on and refuse to participate in it. The less afraid we are in holding one another accountable, the more successful we will be at this.

You have really hit home with what you have said. I don't know that I have been a victim of gossip, but my tongue. . . . It is only when I pray about it that I am even remotely able to control it. When I stop praying, because things have gotten better, it starts going bad again.

I just came back from an awesome women's retreat...we had awesome worship, awesome prayer time, an awesome speaker...though, afterwards, one of the prayer leaders began to share with me some of the needs that people asked prayer for...it didn't seem like she was gossiping because she truly cares, but at the same time, sharing details about someone else's troubles and life's challenges bothers me...sometimes this same person shares other troubling issues she just happens to know about a person she is praying for. I believe she thinks she's sharing to show how much they need to grow in the Lord, or to pray that the Lord would do a work in their life, but this still, is not okay. It may satisfy her to appear that she is "in the loop", or that the Lord has especially appointed her to have this knowlegde...I have met others with serious gossiping issues that were in desperate need of being accepted, and all it proved was that they were insecure in their own Christian walk seeking approval. There is just no need to ever share other people's personal prayer needs...it doesn't make you look smarter or more accepted, even if it's shared in confidence.

OUCH! OUCH! This hurt! This hurt really badly..... The truth does.

EVERY word.... I have printed out that verse and pasted it on my computer terminal at work. Wow.

Sure puts gossiping in perspective......

Thank you for this...it has helped me a lot.

Thank you Jesus for your grace and mercy.
The first step to forgiveness is realizing that we have taken part in a sin that is so damaging to our fellowman and ask Jesus to cover it with his blood. Our next choice is to choose to place a guard on our tongues not to be involved in the sin of "gossip" but to make sure our words are edifying to all who hear them. We must ask the Holy Spirit to be our reminder when we forget. If it were not for the grace of God there we all will go.

One helpful thought someone gave me that keeps me on track with avoiding gossip is the question -
"Am I part of the problem? Am I part of the answer?" If I am neither, I should not be talking about it. If the other person is neither, I should not be talking about it with them.

I find that because I share freely about my life... I assume (wrongly) I can share freely about what others tell me about their lives. I have to really check myself often in this.

It's really obvious and yet we continue... This article hit me hard.I know that I've been doing this for a long time but for it to be pointed out so bluntly and a verse to print out do something about is awesome.Thank You God for showing me my faults so that with Your help I can change.

God truly wanted me to see this article! This was definately for me... I hate to admit this, but I am a gossip girl... And I hate it! There is a "friend" at church that I "talk" (gossip) with at church, and I was just thinking about this the other day, how I must pull away from her. I do not want to see this behavior played on the big screen when I get to heaven. And I want to be truly a "virtuouslady" like my email address indicates. Soon, I will be a First Lady too, as my husband is getting licensed to be a Pastor next month! Please all ladies reading this pray for me. I have to be an example, publically and privately. Gossiping is a terrible, terrible sin, and I do not want to be a gossip girl anymore! God Bless you for this article.

After over 30 years of walking with the Lord, I have learned much about gossip over and over again. I personally have experienced some of these scenerios and appreciated the many comments made here. Sometimes you need to ask to change the subject, sometimes you decide to be an outsider and not participate in a group you know gossips. Sometimes God asks you to call all the people with whom you were gossiping and seek their forgiveness. If you do it, it helps curb your appetite for it. It is humbling. It is still a temptation, especially in regards to sharing a prayer request that just goes too far with details. I too learned to ask the questions of whether I was part of the solution or problem and if it was necessary to share. In regards to the article however, one thing I am glad about is the fact that I will not be at the Great White Throne Judgment. As I understand it, it is for unbelievers and I will not be there. Jesus has already seen my video, past, present and future and decided to erase it for me at the cross. Since my sin will be forgotten and removed as far as the east is from the west, I do not need to be in fear of his judgment ( Bema ) but grateful and responding in love and looking for the day when rewards will be given out for any obedience to Him I demonstrate - of course that which is not done in faith, including any gossip will be burned up, but not in any way condemning me. This is my hope.

What version did you get Matthew 12:33-37 from?

At times, gossip is seems absolutely delicious. But a year or so ago I was also convicted by Matthew 12. My words haven't been intentionally spiteful, but they have surely been careless. I used to think it would be best if the Lord struck me mute, but then I wouldn't grow! Thanks for an insightful post.

Your article was so inspiring. It unfortunately is true. I too have been guilty of gossipping. It is so easy to fall into, you go along talking and getting on a good flow then this person gets brought up and comments are made and then more comments are made then this leads to more and so on. Thank you for writing this article it is a reminder to me to implement in my life. O LOrd put a watch over my mouth!!

So true! In fact God's really been bringing this sort of thing to my attention. It's like blaring neon lights every time a piece of scriptutre 'accidentally' crosses my line of sight: shut up! stop talking when you shouldn't be! Think before you speak!

For an extrovert like me, that's hard... I work things out by talking about them. But I don't really have to talk to others... I can talk to God.

Jane, thank you so much for your article. I have someone in my life that is not very nice to me. Just yesterday, I was speaking to someone else about it and I must admit that it did give me a false sense of self esteem by making that person look bad. I really like it when u say that we have become experts at disguising our own fiery tongue!!! How true is that?!!! I will have to ask the Lord to forgive me and I am going to try my best to tame my own tongue before commenting / trying to correct someone else's.

I heard a great analogy for gossiping...
A woman heard a juicy bit of news about her pastor one day, and out of "concern" and "unrest" about the situation, she continued to fertilize the rumor weed. She "felt lead" and quite justified in "warning" others about the actions of her pastor until a wise recipient of this woman's "fruit" confronted her concerning the truth of the matter. Apparently, the wagging-tongued woman got her "facts" wrong and was indeed spreading malicious lies about the pastor which truly had the potential to hurt his reputation as an integral man.
Humbly, the woman went before the man she scorned to repent and ask what she could do to make amends.
The Pastor mercifully forgave her, due to her sincere apology and teary cheeks, but he wasn't going to let her go without restitution.
"Here's what you can do for me. Go buy a king sized feather pillow," the pastor instructed, "and take it to the top of the hill at the park. Cut it open and shake all of the feathers out."
Although somewhat perplexed at the pastor's request, the woman didn't argue. Right away, she fullfilled her duty and then returned to tell him what she'd done.
"Can I do anything else?" She inquired.
"Yes," the man retorted. "Go collect the feathers up into the pillow case again."
The woman's mouth dropped open and her eyes widened in disbelief.
"But, Pastor," she objected, "The wind has blown the feathers far away. It would be impossible to take them back again."
"And so..." said the pastor, "it would be impossible to take back all those words you spoke of me. Please remember this object lesson the next time you 'feel lead' to spread your unencouraging remarks."

I came upon some coworkers who were gossipping about someone. "...and then she blah, blah, blah.." "she is soooo blah, blah, blah..." I thought, "Hmm, this sounds good. I wonder who they are ripping into." I listened some more and then I realized it was about me. I felt hurt, angry and -- convicted. Just a moment ago, I was ready to join their huddle to dish the dirt and now I discover I am the target. It caused me to deeply examine who I am in Christ. I asked his forgiveness for all my past gossip. I found a prayer partner at church to help and encourage me in the Lord. Since this incident, I chose not to confront those people or even to let on what I heard about myself. I've treated these people with kindness and the Lord has helped me to overcome my hurt and disappointment. I even changed the things about my behavior that they were criticizing, deciding to use the information I heard as if I had asked them for advice. I'm convinced the Lord allowed this for my spiritual growth.