Andrea,

Your article made a real connection with me. I go thru the same situation when I have to pray out loud (intercessory prayer in church). I'm try not to make comparisons on trying to sound like someone else during prayer time. Your article really helped me out alot. God's Blessings to you.

Andrea, thank you for your article. I feel exactly the same way. Please write again. Is there a way to overcome it?

Bless You,

Its so reasurring that others go through this as well, Yet why should we.??
We are all one in our Fathers eyes but the old familiar feelings surface.I can pray with my close friend no problem but as to a group .... I pray that one day I will have the confidence (because that is what is lacking )to pray with the group freely as we are meant Praise be to God

I appreciate your refreshing honesty! I believe you also gave us an example of "pray without ceasing" as you allowed the Holy Spirit to use trigger events and circumstances to remind you to pray for other's requests.

This is ME! I have not been able to pray out loud and it really bothered me until someone once said that it doesn't matter what those around me think, only what my Father in heaven thinks. I can appreciate and prayerfully join the others in their prayers when I can really listen to them and not worry about what I have to say. THANK YOU!

Andrea,

I used to have the same fears you describe (and still they echo) when we had to pray for one another in my former women's house group. I was terrified! I had never been asked to pray aloud before! I was from out of state!

The only thing that ever helped me was being forced to do it time and time again. It was/is difficult, but after a while I began to find my own voice when it came to talking to God. Long gone are the "Dear Heavenly Father"s of my Southern Baptist upbringing, and the too-casual-for-my-comfort "JC"s that I heard from time to time. Now, a simple "Dear God" or "Lord" will do it for me.

Hang in there. It does get easier.

Allow the Holy Spirit to do the praying for you. It's not about us or our prayer, but what is the Father's will for our situation. I used to feel the same way. One thing that has helped me is to take time to pray out loud at home. It will come naturally as you develop that deeper relationship with the Lord, and through the guiding of the Holy Spirit.

I have the same problem as you Andrea. And I keep remembering one incident where I was asked to pray for a certain joyful situation and I just said a simple prayer of thanksgiving, and this other person jumped in and said, or maybe this is what I heard because I was surprised that I had been chosen. But when I finished this other person said, that was not enough and continued to say what I thought I should have said in my prayer. I thought I was not offended, but probably I was and I know now that I must forgive so that I may be forgiven and I can forget this episode and go on. It's not how long or what you say, but believing that God hears you when you pray. Hallelujah!!

Thank for sharing this with us. I go through the same thing. I also pray one day that I will have the confidence to pray in our prayer groups. I always pray silently but have never been able to gain that confidence to speak out loud. I appreciate everything everyone has written - this touches all of our lives so intimately. - Thanks

I felt really sad when I read this because it seems like you haven't been praying with women you feel safe with. Maybe it's the large group setting that is making you feel so insecure. Perhaps if you found one or two prayer partners to meet with, you wouldn't feel like you were performing in front of people. Also, if you're not sure of what to say, you can never go wrong in praying the Scriptures. For example, if you're praying for healing, you can quote verses that affirm God as our healer, etc.

Although I am very comfortable praying out loud and doing spiritual warfare with others, I have been in settings where corporate prayer became a performance. Usually this happens when the people praying start preaching mini-sermons instead of petitioning God. Another obstacle to effective corporate prayer is the tendency to "pray the problem." I have been in prayer meetings where intercessors spent so much time telling God what the problem was that it didn't even seem like we were praying--it was more like a huge gripe session. The most troublesome example was a woman who kept praying about everything that Satan was trying to do. At one point she continually repeated the phrase, "And we know that Satan has plans..." After this went on for quite some time, I couldn't take it anymore and gently interrupted her, quoting Jeremiah 29:11 ("'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord...").

I go through the sweaty palms and racing heart beat and even dread everytime I'm called on to pray out loud. I'm getting a little better. Your blog has encouraged me! God's best for you...

I believe God gifts us each differently when it comes to communication. Some are gifted writers (like you!) and some are gifted speakers. Some can speak publicly (or pray) in a moment's notice, others need time to prepare. When I believe all eyes are on me, I am more concerned about the judgement of the humans listening, so I lose focus on what I need to say to God. God hears my prayers in private and He also knows that's when I communicate with Him the best! Thank you for your article! God Bless You!

So true...I am so thankful for the time in my youth group when the sponsors actually made us go down to the altar and pray outloud for each other. At the time, I thought it was the corniest thing ever, but I'm so glad we did that. At times, I feel very much the same though, feeling like all the others are only hanging on the words that come from my mouth instead of the Promises of God. We need to really begin to agree with each other in prayer. Praying in unison really helps. You may remember something and pray aloud for the request at the same time hear someone else praying and agree in your heart with that one as well. Prayer is such an awesome communication tool! We all should use it as often as we can! One other thought that might help, is if in our own prayer closet, we chose to pray outloud! I think that the more comfortable we become hearing ourselves pray, the more comfortable it will be for others to hear us pray! Our confidence comes from Christ!! Pray for it, He will give freely!!!

Enjoyed your article very much. If someone in my church or group ask me to pray publicly, I'll do it, but to volunteer, its
the second or third or even fourth thing I'll do. Like you, I love secret/closet prayers, where I can spend those quiet moments with my Lord & Savior and intercede on behalf of myself & others for their needs. I can also praise, magnify, & adore HIM more this way too!! When I'm asked to pray publicly, the major concern on my mind, is that I don't pray long prayers (I do in my secret closet because I make the time to). Lot of your points in your article humbled me, of what not to do in public prayer - perform!!

You have expressed *exactly* what I go through each time I pray aloud in a group. Thank you for your honesty, and for helping me to see that I'm not the only one who struggles with this.

When I read your article, I thought it was me writing it! This is one area where I also struggle, and have for many years, and have asked God to help me with this area of my walk--and He has! I attended a prayer retreat that my church sponsored a week ago and did pray out loud and all though my prayers weren't as eloquent as some, I don't think that God cares about the delivery--just that we do it! Always remember that He is ALWAYS walking along side us at every moment!

As Julie said, the best way to overcome your fear of praying aloud is to do it. Begin in your private prayer, then each time you are asked to pray aloud, you feel a bit more confident. And turn your fear over to the Lord, and He will give you the prayer. I remember the first time I prayed aloud in a group of women. I was nearly the youngest there, and I was brought up in a Catholic church, where the prayers were memorized recitations rather than prayers from the heart. I was able to bring before the Lord two or three petitions, certainly not in eloquent fashion, and I was sure that the other women could hear the pounding of my heart. But each time it becomes easier, particularly if you just open your heart to the Lord, and forget that there are others present--visualize just you and the Lord!

Praying out loud for a shy person is so uncomfortable. When I first began getting involved in church I would go through such anxiety. It had nothing to do with the people in the room but my discomfort at hearing my own voice and the thought that I would be judged....when really the judgement came from no one other than me. I got tired of the panic and realised that I was just going to have to find a way to be comfortable with this. I was concerned that my prayers weren't sincere if I was so nervous that I couldn't really focus on the fact that I was talking to God. So in my own private prayer time I decided that I would pray out loud at home. I would force myself to be comfortable with the sound of my own voice. It was strange at first. I felt a bit crazy, to be honest. But gradually my own voice faded into the background and I began to feel that I was really addressing my Father and connecting with Him in a much more personal way than ever before.

Now that's what advice I give to others who ask me about prayer. They refer to shy little me as a prayer warrior and they ask me how I can pray so boldly and out loud. You have to start somewhere....start alone, in a quiet place with just you and Him. Eventually it gets easier but like anything worth while, it takes time.

Nervous or not, He is pleased to hear from His children....even when their hands sweat. :)

I can't even say grace out loud before meals! I've tried, but I freeze up and my mind goes blank. Then my husband takes over.

I've only been a Christian for about a year and a half, and I wasn't raised in a family that prayed. I guess thats why its so hard for me to do it out loud.

I'd love to be able to pray out loud, especially with my husband. Hopefully one day I'll be able to.

Your blog has caused me to evaluate my prayers--particularly in group settings. It is difficult for me to block out all distractions and pray with one focus--communication with my Lord--and dispite my efforts to fight it, I do consider what others think or would like for me to pray. My most difficult prayer time is aloud with my husband (who is a pastor). This is crazy! He and I both pray continually for one another and others but when it comes time for praying together aloud, my heart pounds--I often just give the idea up and pray silently. Keep up the struggle and submit to the Holy Spirit!

Like Gwendoline I pray when asked but I never knew there were others who had difficulty in volunteering. I think I was the only one who didn't pray aloud in Bible School. I am in my seventies and on a mission field. I am all right with children but not with adults. I am so glad to know I am not alone.

My husband is very eloquent. He prays like a preacher. I won't even pray out loud with him. I know he won't judge me. He is patient and understanding. He encourages me. He wouldn't be the Christian he is without me. Anyway, if you can't pray in front of your husband, who CAN you pray in front of? I want to get over this fear!!

My native language is Spanish, but I am very fluent in English, having lived almost all my life in the US. However, I find it to be easier to pray in Spanish because for many years I belonged to a Spanish speaking church. Now that I belong to an English speaking church it's different. When in a group, sometimes I volunteer to pray at the beginning or the end of a session so that I can get used to it. I just say what's in my heart and pray for the needs of others without having to come up with eloquent words. All that matters to me is that my prayer be sincere and I trust that the Lord will answer it.

What I really love is your comment that "perhaps the act of writing becomes a prayer itself, murmured by the silent motion of my hand." What a marvelous idea! And that makes so much sense to me...

I used to have trouble deciding how to pray aloud, but after awhile, the prayer--the communication--became much more important than anyone around and what they think of me. Don't let it bother you that you struggle. Press on, communicate with your Lord the way you are most comfortable, and love others as they pray in their own way.

Andrea,

I, too, struggle to pray out loud. I find myself desperately panicking as I wait for my turn, instead of listening to and praying with the people ahead of me. Then I stumble through my prayer, trying to center myself and connect with God while at the same time worrying about forgetting someone's prayer request or repeating something someone has aready said (or worse, repeating myself!). As the next person begins, I am busy beating myself up with, "Oh, yeah, that was eloquent, Katie."

So, to sum it up, I understand. I found it very reassuring though, to hear your realization that the other people in your group were talking to God, not to each other. This is true, and it's something I need to remember - the people in my particular group are all friends, and they are not there to judge me or give me a score on "eloquence" or "spiritual depth." It was nice to know I'm not the only one who struggles with this, though!

I too have struggled and continue to struggle with this but I agree with the comment that practice helps. I decided that any time I was in a situation that called upon group prayer I would try to contribute and I asked for God to help me with this. I have found that there is from time to time situations where this happens and as I await my turn I often feel the words of a prayer in my head - usually only a few words which is fine by me and I pray those words out when it is my turn. I have found it gets a little easier each time although I still shake a lot. I would like for my husband and I to pray together but so far he has not initiated this - we have been married for 2 years and this is my private prayer at the moment - I know I would struggle with this also but it is something I want to do. Thankyou for your honest article it is a blessing for all of us women to know others feel this way also.

Your article I felt matched me perfectly. I talk with God on my own like I would talk to a friend face to face. My words aren't eloquent, but simple, and I'm comfortable with that. I meet with 5 other young women from my church on Tuesday evenings. Well this Tuesday evening is going to be prayer night. When thinking about it, I start to get nervous because I will be expected to pray outloud. I want to pray outloud, but then I begin to think all the things you mentioned in your article. Then I feel guilty for focusing on myself, rather than on God. It's this vicious circle, all going on while the others are praying! Your article really helped me. I need to pray that I focus on Him and Him alone during prayer time. Not about ME, not about how I will "look" or "feel" during/after prayer. I will pray for you, thank you for the article! God bless.

i can so relate also! I am a shy person, but I can attest to the fact that the more you do it, the easier it gets. Also, I have to tell myself that not only does it not matter what others think, but i truly do not know what they are thinking so it is a waste of my time to even guess and fret over what i do not know for sure. And so i let it go. The truth will set us free!

Thanks for a great article!

I found that praying out loud with my children made it easier to pray with my friends in our Bible Study. When my girls were in elementary school, I would sit with them as they were going to bed and talk about what had happened during their day and then we would pray about their problems and happy times. It helped model praying out loud for them, too. At the supper table we would each take turns praying and we encouraged them to pray spontaneous prayers instead of reciting a memorized one. Hopefully this has helped them in their own prayer life. Remember, we are not given a spirit of fear but of courage. God bless you!

I certainly can relate to these feelings. I would like to try to be a better listener, and when in a prayer circle to "listen with my heart, especially." As a younger woman I was more self-conscious and would rehearse in my mind what I would say when it was my turn to pray aloud. I was overly concerned with the wording, etc. When I did that it was harder to listen effectively and concentrate on other's prayers. Also, when in a new group setting I think it takes awhile to build the feelings of trust necessary to bare your heart. I'm so glad you spoke about this.

Hi Andrea,

I have been in a prayer group for years. Each church I have attended has a slightly different format and style, but all have been a blessing. Praying aloud is just like everything else when it comes to doing it. It takes practice. We all should practice prayer. As others have already stated having your own prayer time at home helps, writing out your prayers as you do is also good, but just doing it will help the most. First, it's nothing to worry about. There is no right way or wrong way. Many times when I am about to pray I sing first, then pray, or I read a scripture aloud and then pray, because God is using that song or scripture to minister to me at that time. Also, when I pray sometimes I say things I had no intention of saying, but needed to be said so others can agree with me on that issue in my life, or someone else life or a situtation. Also, there have been times when I have tried to pray and nothing but moans come out and tears are running down my face. That's another time when my prayer partners step in a pray for me. You see I have faced some very difficult things in my life and when you are pressed against the wall, and you need God and you are crying out to Him, you don't care about what anybody else thinks, you are there to be blessed, for healing, for wisdom, and if people are going to judge how you pray, then that's not a true prayer group. There are things in life that at times when we pray we just get ugly (that means you just let go and let God, and it takes the time it takes, and if you need to fall out you fall out, if you need to cry you cry, if you need to scream you scream, but you let go of all the hurt and pain, and you give it to God) to get your break through. Different cultures also have different expressions and that may also, be what may cause some people to feel a little uncomfrontable about praying aloud. Just don't sweat it, just do it, if it is from your heart, then it will be a blessing to everyone. Take care.

This could be me, too! I am very fortunate to work in a Christian owned and staffed business where we gather to pray every Monday morning and whenever there is a need. No one is forced to pray out loud but everyone is invited to. When I first started working there I just couldn't join in but eventually found myself wanting to. I have heard a lot of the suggestions given here and agree with them but would like to offer one more. Pray privately for God to give you a voice for the Holy Spirit that's in you. Then wait for it and be willing to speak when you feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit. God knows the desires of our hearts and is only waiting to be asked!
Sometimes all I feel asked to say is something that adds my agreement to what has already been said. Many times all our requests have been prayed so well that the lovely silence when we are all joined in His presence is the best part of all! We often dissolve into tears of gratitude and love. It's beautiful.
Thank you for this blog. I feel in such amazing company in this quest! I pray for us all!

Thank you so much. I spend so much time going over in my head the exact words that i want to use and then i just chicken out and don't say anything. Even worse i have only just heard half of what the other women in my group have said.
Our group is a very special place and i do feel happy sharing prayer requests and talking about personal things but can't put them into words.

Dear Andrea, I wish someone had brought this to light before. It helps to know there are so many others who struggle with this. As soon as my turn comes, I feel like I suddenly become six years old again! I also "practice" praying when I'm alone and this helps, and I also know in my heart that God hears me, but the jitters are always there in a group. I know the other prayer warriors don't mean to be hurtful, but sometimes they do elaborate on prayers that I have already prayed about. I just tell myself that they feel the need to add their own feelings towards the prayer recipient. I pray that someday I too will actually enjoy talking to God in front of other people. Thank you so very much for sharing. May God Bless!

I'd like to know if anyone else cannot sense the presence of God. In responding to me, please understand that I don't have major sin in my life, that I did have an authoritarian Bible-banging Baptist father whom I was very afraid of, and that this has been going on for a very long time. Others around me, friends, co-parishioners, husband, all can sense God's love, forgiveness, etc, in their lives. I cannot. What I'd like to hear back, is not an overwhelming response of "God loves you", or psychological diatribes on how "if you can't relate to your father, you can't relate to your Father/God" or even the importance of "forgiving my father". I've "been there/done that", and have actually been to counselors who've walked me through some of those things. The block between God and I is still there. Is anyone else in the same predicament, and if so, how do you deal with it?

You are a very brave young lady to address this fear to all who read it.
I remember how hard it was for me to pray with other prayer warriors at our prayer meeting. I used to sit in on the meetings not opening my mouth but to give a request before prayer started.
When I went into my car to run errands I was alone and I prayed out loud. I could hear myself and as this went on for weeks and weeks I eventually got up the confidence to pray with the group. Thanks again for helping so many who feel the same way.

I feel so blessed to have read your words ladies. I feel as though I have just been in a prayer circle with a group of holy women striving to become more holy.

I can identify with each of you. I will not presume to offer advice, but only share what I do. As each person prays: I listen and agree and simply say:Father hear the prayer of ___and grant what is needed.

When I pray aloud I simply say something such as: Triune God, in union with all here present, I ask You to grant the requests of we Your people and the requests of all for whom I pray this day. In name of Your precious Son, grant us our needs and heal our hearts.

Blessings on you, faholo!

I have really struggled with this, too. I found that if I pray aloud when I'm alone, especially in the car, or like when I'm cooking dinner at home, it becomes easier and easier. I had to laugh at the scene in the previews for Evan Almighty, when Steve Carrell looks in the rear vew mirror and sees God in his backseat, because so many times when I was praying aloud in the car, I just felt His presence.

This is also strange, but I find I can pray aloud easier with close friends who are NOT believers than with friends from church. I don't feel the same pressure to live up to some standard.

Mostly, when I am in a situation where I have to pray aloud in a group, and am uncomfortable, I close my eyes, pretend it is just me and my Savior, and start with something like, "Lord, you see our hearts, and you know how we struggle to put our prayers into words sometimes." It just seems to help remind me that even if I stumble on the words, HE knows my heart and my desire to lift things up in prayer.

I also dread being called on to pray aloud and rarely volunteer. I get very emotional when I pray aloud and often fight back tears. I use a prayer journal at home, which I love because it helps me focus.

Thank you for sharing your struggle. It's very comforting to know others have the same problem. God Bless You!

In general, praying out loud, even by myself, just does not happen often. I dislike it, for whatever reasons. The only time I usually do is when I am the leader of a group. I taught two bible studies at my church, which in itself was uncomfortable. I had no choice as the leader, and the two or three ladies who came also dislike praying aloud. I don't know exactly where or if it says it in scripture, but a peer told me that God can make my words sound like whatever He wants them to. So I shouldn't worry about how I sound: God will give His words through me to the others. That helped!

I have forced myself to pray out loud with my husband sometimes, although we don't pray together nearly enough.

I am so thankful to know that I am not alone in my misery during prayer time! It brings back many old memories of getting up in front of the class to give a book report or speech on a subject that you didn't even like. I pray the Lord forgives my silence during these times, and I pray that someday I'll be able to overcome it.

Thankyou all who have contributed to this blog. I too don't feel comfortable praying in the company of others. It is such a great relief knowing that I am not alone in this struggle.

I have a fear that I will make a fool of myself by saying something wrong or losing my train of thought while I'm praying and also worry about if my prayer was good enough etc.

I will try some of your suggestions on how I can overcome this fear of praying in public.

thanks again to everyone who has submitted suggestions.

i thought i was the only one until today..

Hi Prayer for me has always been important because of my circumstances growing up God was and still is the only person for me to talk to. It wasn't until the last few years that my current Pastor put it like this. Prayer is the Holy Ghost way of giving us an attitude adjustment to talk to God. Our words aren't english when we pray but the Holy Spirit's intercession turns it into groanings and utterings based on our heart motivation. If you think of it in this way, it is easier to pray out loud. It's not what you say that is wrong but the motivation behind it and only God and the Holy Ghost can judge and see the heart. No need to worry about anyone else, what they think, say or do. Not easy but it gets easier.

I have an expressive aphasia- due to a bout of encephalitis/meningitis years ago I lose words somewhere between my brain & my mouth. Most people are not aware of it because I learned an important key: added stress makes it worse. If it's worse, then it is noticed and then I am embarrassed.
"Now what has that to do with prayer?" you ask.
The "cure" was to decrease the stress so I could either retrieve the missing word or phrase OR substitute another word or illustration. I always have a piece of paper. (Doesn't matter what's on it.) I pause &"looking" at my notes, but I'm really blanking out every thing & everyone. I don't even see the paper really. I am just clearing my mind of the distractions, fears, etc. In mini-seconds I can begin speaking again.

It works with prayer really well- a little consistent practice is all that's needed. In a prayer situation, my paper is my focus on my Abba. I remove every thing & everyone between us. (Folks have just come to realize that I always pause before I pray.) I just talk to Him forgetting anything except what is upon my heart & His.

Writing prayer requests down & using that paper works "double" duty. I've gone from extremely shy, fearful of embarrassment to a confident prayer warrior- even in public, although I still prefer my private time with Him.

P.S. I'm an easy crier, too. Paper's in my hand, tissue in my pocket. Most important is keeping our prayer dates with the Father.

Finally there is someone else out there with "my problem" too. I really battle to pray out loud especially at prayer groups, I have always been a private prayer person, I get all worked up at prayer meetings when its time to pray and I pray "please Lord let it not be me" I'm praying that one day I'll be more confident and gather up the courage to pray in front of people and for people.

Have you ever listened to a child pray? Simple words, broken sentences and yet, when spoken from the heart is the perfect picture of prayer. We can always learn from a child. When we speak from the heart, the words do not matter. I find it ironic that we try to teach our children to be secure in who they are, to look to GOD for guidance, neither judging nor caring if they are judged and yet what do we do? I find it sad that we cannot bow our heads with believers and speak freely to our LORD. However, I teach women and I know this fear exist. I would like to share some practical suggestions: We no longer pray in rounds. Before we begin someone is asked to open, and someone else to close, and anyone who feels led by the Spirit to pray can speak up during the silence. Although I no longer fear praying in public, I try to remain silent unless the Spirit directs me to speak. The Power of Praise; reading the Psalms aloud is a great tool for Spiritual awareness. I would suggest that anyone nervous about praying (and, like most things, it does get easier with practice) begin by simply praising God. Giving thanks to Him; He knows what we are in need of before we ask. I have underlined sentences in Psalms and I like to paraphrase from them when I pray. For example: O LORD, from everlasting to everlasting, You are worthy of praise�Let the name of the LORD be praised, both now and forever more. From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets the name of the LORD is to be praised�Your are my refuge and my fortress, my God in Whom I trust�I will declare Your glory among the nations, Your marvelous deeds among the people�Show us Your ways, O LORD, teach us Your paths. Lead us in Your truths and teach us... I believe each of us have fears to overcome at some point in life. Sweaty palms and racing hearts are not exclusive to the timid. Several years ago, the Holy Spirit began to lead me to lift my hands in praise during worship and since I had never seen anyone in my church do this I struggled to be obedient. I did not want to draw attention to myself, but the Spirit would not let go. After many months of this spiritual tug-o-war I asked God to release me, �O LORD, You tell us You will never put more on us than we can bear,� I cried, �I want to be obedient but I just can�t do this.� The Spirit immediately whispered, �If you continue to refuse�I will ask you to Shout.� My hands shot into the air and I cried out, �I will lift my hands in Praise, O LORD!� Thereafter, lifting my hands did not frighten me nearly so much and guess what; we now have others who lift their hands as well. All across our land, I fear there are many people like myself, who feel the Spirit speak but refuse to obey. It is always easier to nothing that something, but �Oh, my,� what a difference in the outcome.

I believe we each pray "in our giftedness" and "in our personality". Don't expect to become a person you're not just becasue it's prayer. If you're shy,you'll be shy. If you're forward and confident,you'll pray forwardly and confidently. If you're a mercy person, you'll pray for/with mercy. If you're a prophet, that will shine thru your prayers.

But each one will grow in the grace he/she practices- "practice makes perfect".

Who is it that wants us to keep our mouths shut for fear of man? The dark forces in the heavenly realm. Press on!

Thank you so, so much for the article. If that isn't me! LOL! In my prayers last evening, I asked the Holy Spirit to just guide me in my public prayer (which I don't do often, almost never) as I continue to call out to him in private. What a way to start my morning. Thanks!

I cant believe it!!! Even if we are so far away from each other, we are so much alike! I used to avoid praying in front of others a lot, and when we had prayer meetings I lwould let the leader know beforehand that I am shy, and I was usually excused.

I still dont have the confidence to like, pray in front of a crowd of pple, but I have learnt not to let my shyness inhibit me. Practise makes perfect. And God knows what is in my heart, even if my words are not perfect.

When I pray by myself, my mind drifts off, and I find myself thinking about other things, then I am like ' Oh, I am sorry', and continue. How does one prevent that?

Your article is hilarious! And touching. And I totally relate.

Because, not only does my breathing take a dive to the shallow end when I even think about having to pray aloud, but it does the same thing (and takes the rest of my nervous system along for the ride) if ever I'm called on to say ANYTHING out loud in church. I recently was asked to read a few announcements and had to excuse myself in shame. I just couldn't do it.

I laugh at this, because it is kind of funny, in a pitiful sort of way. Most of the time, I am able to avoid situations where it would be an issue. Recently, however, I volunteered to teach a new Bible study class for older teens. It starts in a couple of weeks. Pray for me, because just thinking about having to talk to those kids is making me hyperventilate! Ha ha!

Ditto. Ditto. Ditto. I have struggled with praying out loud and can relate to most of these postings. Worshipping, worshipful prayer, and prayer are gifts God gives us to be close to Him and learn from Him. I am very thankful for them and for the variety that lies in the body of believers. As it happens, I have overcome my nervousness praying aloud with my small group. I dedicate a few minutes of solitude before our meetings to ask God to help me focus on what is important � Him! It has really helped.

We are all human and for that reason there can be a tendency to judge others. I have a learning disability and have a very difficult time reading the prompter at services during the musical worship times. Attempting to sing along out loud distracts me from my worship of God, so I sing in my heart. A friend noticed that I didn�t sing and thought it was because I was shy or didn�t like my voice. With very good intentions she explained to me that we were all there to worship God and that no one would judge me?

Moral of the story � Make sure whatever you are doing is pleasing to God first, and then pray about how you can change to be more pleasing!

Andrea,

Thanks for your story. I was challenged with the same situation last night. How do you overcome it?

I come from New Zealand, but it's amazing that women from around the world can feel the same. You could have been talking about me. Except for me, also, when I do pray I get emotional as well and nearly always shed tears as I pray. I don't know why some people feel so free to pray and others don't. And we always feel like we aren't doing our part - we feel judged. It could possibly be a personality thing or a confidence thing. But thank goodness - God sees our heart and His Holy Spirit intercedes for us.

I am concerned that women will not attend meetings because of this fear. If there is such pressure to pray out loud, how can we reach out to those who won't come because of this? Do we not want to encourage women to join us? I really believe that more women would join us if there was NO reason to stay away. Prayer is not the only reason to have these meetings. What are we saying to these women when we make them uncomfortable? Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe in the power of prayer and cannot live without it (even in the meetings) but we should not make others uncomfortable, especially when we don't know each other very well. We should reach out to them in love and encourage them to join us. Do you agree?

Andrea,

I feel the same way. My brain goes blank and my heart races and I feel very rehersed if I have to pray out loud. Thank you for sharing your struggles to help us all feel like we are not alone and that this is something that we can work on and with God's help gain confidence. I like the idea of the notebook too. What a nice way to remember people. God Bless.

this response is for Jane (10/27/07), re: being unable to "feel" God's presence and love. It is true, I think, that God does love us and not having a loving, gentle earthly father does leave a wall between us and feeling God's presence. I too have gone to counseling and prayed and cannot get past that wall; but the thing I've learned to find comfort in, is that God just wants us to keep walking and voicing our commitment to Him. I tell myself that God understands my weakness, my wounds, and my walls. He knows I'm here and have all those feelings and how hard it is for me to feel His presence. I think as I keep walking, the wall will start to chip away and I will feel His presence; first in little fleeting moments and hopefully one day in full force. I know the light is there and I know once I'm in eternity, it and I will be complete in Him.
I hope this helps and I will keep you in my heart as I hope for these things in my life, in yours and all others who struggle to feel His presence.
Donna

This article, Andrea, and all of the above suggestions are immencely helpful. (1)I especially love the idea of praying Scripture. Of crying out to God. No need to make it long or flowery. I think the prayers of old, in what was called "prayer meetings" scared some of us to death.I've started and been a part of about 3 support groups over about 20 years. Everyone, with the exception of a pastor's wife, seem to be uneasy, if asked to pray, even a short prayer of thanks before sharing a meal. And I include myself in being ill at ease. But, it's expected of me since I'm the facilitator. That's why praying Scripture is such a great idea...and I plan to use it. (2)I have become more comfortable with "conversational prayers."
Thinking back to my childhood, I remember praying the most simple words in the cellar--while washing the separater--it was, after all, just God and me.....I addressed my heavenly Father..and my earthly father whom I believed to be seated on the left hand of God. (He died in WWII when I was 2) After all, Christ was seated on the right hand of God. I would pour out my heart in a very simple way. (3)I'm reminded to keep it simply from the heart. (4) it's Ok to shed tears and even to gently laugh while conversing with God. About 1 1/2 years ago, while extended family members, in CA were involved in praying over our first grandson on graduation night, I mentioned in prayer that my grandson was born in Chicago--and then I suddenly said, "yea Chicago!" and then went on to bless him and thank God for giving him such a loving heart--a heart that touches many others. (Can you guess I was from Chicago?)
Thank you for this article!

I am exactly the same way! My first time praying outloud at a bible study was awful. The person before prayed the same exact prayer I was going to say. All I could respond was "Ditto to that prayer" . I was so nervous I couldn't wait to go home. It has been 10 years since I said that and It is something I will never forget. I still cannot openly pray outloud with comfort and ease. Thank you for this article. It has really hit home.

Hi, andrea. I was grinning from ear to ear. You've just described ME! I didn't know that many felt like I did. How I wish these thoughts won't bother me anymore and I can just get into God's presence anytime when I'm with others. But do you know what has helped me a lot lately? I pray the Word. that way, I don't fumble for words and I get to personalize it as my prayer. It sure did make me confident in praying out loud. Try it! Thanks for sharing. God bless you.

Wow! You have just described alot of people so you can be sure you are not alone. I have to say I pray that noone ever asks me to pray outloud, because I cannot think on the spot, but when it comes to saying a prayer under my breath, I can think of alot of things to say. I have come to understand that fear cannot overtake you, you have to allow it, so I coined a phrase, "DO IT AFRAID", so now I just do whatever is asked of me even if I am afraid and don't want to do it, it gets easier to not say no after a while but it is still nerve wracking. Keep doing things you have a hard time with in public and God will be pleased with you.

I was in a hospital bed, years ago, awaiting the arrival of an older woman in our church who was coming to pray for me. My insides cried out, "Oh Help me now, this lady is going to pray for me". She was known as a prayer warrior and when she prayed everyone could hear! But she was a godly intercessor- and her prayers were so needed. She ministered to me greatly.

I have also had the beautiful experience of having a woman whisper a short three word prayer, "Lord, help her," over me. Her love expressed ,in spite of fear and trembling, touched my heart. But even more, it resounded throughout Heaven.

I too, have a difficult time with any public speaking in front of a group of people. I do much better one on one. I have always been quiet and shy. I think this is ok. I pray silently over my patients, family, friends,etc. I know God heres me. He accepts our strengths and weaknesses. We all have our own gifts. Focus on what your strengths are, the gifts God has given and you will not worry about what you "can't" do. You can write, written prayer is just as effective.

God Bless

Wow, thank you Andrea. I just spent a good chunk of time reading everyones comments and am blessed I am not alone. I will admit, I took notes, and believe that praying out loud and practicing SHORT prayers with others will stimulate us. We all want to make God proud right!?? But more imporantly, have our prayers cared for. I'm newly married, and my husband is an impressively eloquent man of prayer. Hes encouraged me to pray out loud and we daily do this together and also alone. Boy, has it helped me. I do beleive God knows my heart, and perhaps chuckles at our moment of 'despair', yet still holds our hearts, hears our words, and breathes life into what we ask. One thing that has transformed my prayer time, is to remember "its simply a conversation with God...like pulling up a chair next to eachother" I love that.

One more thing is I agree that the "circle" thing is too intimidating....having more natural moments, or hands raised can be far more comfortable for us learners. I felt so much better when I went to our care group leader and explained my anxiety. They were comforting, warm, and so supportive. I take each moment as it comes.

Bless you all! What a super article and a better way to start my day!

Pray as in everything else- as a reflection of your personal calling to God. At one church I go to I wondered why I was called not to take Sacrament even though it was clearly expected of me by others there, but God told me not to do these rituals a long time ago. One day a lady stopped me and asked about it, I had seen her run out of church on communion mornings, and I knew she was struggling with her faith. I was happy to reassure her to pray and let her faith come in its own way through God. And she stayed in church and every time I see her beautific face gazing at the cross and singing in the choir I am reminded that we are the body of Christ now, each part to support and serve others. It is very easy to damage each other's faith by telling others how to worship or how to pray, but Jesus said to avoid 'vain repetitions' and illustrated a personal prayer direct to God of his own; ironically we now often chant it without thought so last year I started to be more aware of that too, and only say what is in my heart there with God in the moment, even if it means to pray silently or sit respectfully and listen to others praying. Don't be afraid- God is love.

I totally agree with you because everytime I called upon to pray I always loose balance and the words to pray and even forget scriptures. But when am praying a lone in the house or with two or three friends I find no difficulties all. Reading the word daily and putting it into practice will help you out because then you will pray the word the word definately is powerful and it will getting you going. That's what I have discovered. The devil is also a lier we need always to tell him to get behind us whenever we want to go before our Father because the bible says we have not been given the spirit of fear but the spirit of power love and sound mind. The bible says he that is inus is greater than he that is in the world and we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Since prayer is a powerful weapon that is why the devil tends to creat fear in to us telling us that we can not make it in a big crowd. He promised to put words in to our mouths if only we depend on him but not on our own understanding and wisdom of men. If he tought his dispcles how to pray he can also teach us how to pray everytime we are called upon. When praying we dont have to praise the devil but to address him to flie in the name of Jesus. The first step to christian growth is prayer. The moment you find that you can pray loud to your father without fear that is one big storm you have over come because now you know how to fight the devil. That can only come by attending christian gatherings, bible study, sunday services and the rest. This is where will hear prayer said in all forms, the word used in all ways. Am sure God is making us might worriors as we go through the difficulties of paying and someday we shall turn out to be might prayer. God bless all of us that are trying.

I too have trouble praying aloud in a crowd. I thought I was one of a few...Thanks so much for your honesty..

Please pray for me. I have some serious health issues including need to lose 40pounds. (This would also help some of the other issues.) This isn't to be a beauty or impress anyone its to live healthy and have energy to be out serving the Lord, my husband, and my family. I have NO energy, always feel sick alot is just the weight. Please pray for me that I can be successful. I also NEED/WANT to be COMPLETELY in GOD'S WILL. Please pray for me...I have been to Doctors I have underactive thyroid, and seriouly high blood pressure.
Love In Christ
Cheryl