Truly inspiring!

I can relate to the article on every level. Just when you've been delivered from other people's actions something happens. That something is there to reaffirm that we are not living to please men, but God.
People will reject me, BUT GOD will never leave me.
People will find fault in you, I'll find fault in myself. BUT GOD is perfecting the things that concerns you. And when the perfectign process is complete. I will be with my Father in glory.
So don't live your life worrying about others rejection. Just live in the will of the Father and those whom He called to be in your life will be right there.

From the time I entered Kindergarten, if I was visiting with another girl, if a third girl approached, I was left alone while they went off together. I was invited to some birthday parties... and it seemed there was always one ringleader to the catty behavior that some females find to be in their nature. I am 42 years old and it still happens... different communities and in the church environment!!!

Resonating story...
Me...Fatty Four Eyes...
Me...ridiculed by peers...
Me...Abused and Rejected by several men...
Me...judged and condemned by church folk...
We all have our bumps, bruises and abnormalties...yet...as we grow in our identity with Christ...Those dark places will start to shine as a testimony of who Christ is as we show compassion towards others, and as a beacon of hope to those who see no possibility of being rescued from their jail! Jesus is our redeemer, the one who makes crooked places straight and brings hope to the hopeless!

Well that made me cry. Cry with empathy because it was just like my life, and cry with joy knowing that our Christian view of it all is true. That was wonderfully put. Thank you!

Great post. It's all SO true! LOL Jennifer is amazing. I met her for the first time at a women's retreat over ten years ago. She has an powerful ministry.

Thank you for sharing this! It was so helpful to know that I'm not the only one.

Once when I was experiencing (imagined) rejection, I was led to this verse in Isaiah: "I have not rejected you, I have chosen you."

My favorite verse.

Jane, thank you for this wonderful word of encouragement!

It is also heartbreaking to watch this happen to your children. My middle and youngest daughters have both been subjected to these types of rejection. You will become stronger, but knowing that doesn't always ease the pain!

Wow! I'm glad that I am not the only one who is haunted by those feelings of rejection. Whether it was a personal time when you just want to be a part of the group or as a mom holding your child close when someone treated them unkindly and rejected or excluded them. Sometimes I think the rejection our kids experience is like a double-edge sword, it hurts them, but it also hurts us. How could someone be so cruel to my child, she's a part of me. People can be cruel! That's life. But it is reassuring to know that no matter what, we are a part of the Family of God, and the Lord will never leave us or forsake us. We are very precious to him, just like our own children are very precious to us. There is that unconditional love that is between a parent and a child, and it wasn't until I had my own daughters, that I could understand what God's love for us really feels like. Although it is sometimes easier said than done to tell yourself in the moment that it's their loss, not mine, because they don't want to form a friendship with me or get to know me for the unique individual, God created me to be. Satan uses these times to suck us into those thoughts and feelings that are so much of the world we live in and because we are not perfect and have sin, we sometimes forget whose opinion is really important. So the next time you think back at those times of hurt and rejection that you felt when you weren't invited to that birthday party or when your best friend decided that you aren't her best friend anymore, think of the best friend you have in Jesus and the Joy that we will have, being a part of that Eternal Promise of Heaven.

Jane,
Thanks so much for sharing this. I can relate -- and not just as a child. I have found that age, unfortunately, doesn't prevent friends from hurting and rejecting. As I continue to grow, however, I hope I'm better able to extend forgiveness and mercy (knowing that I'll probably need to be on the receiving end of some myself soon despite my best intentions.)

Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I am blessed to be participating in the Bible Study by Beth Moore entitled, "Breaking Free". This past few days has been like a roller coster ride. God will use someone, a close friend or a new acquaintance, to fill me with His love and His encouragement for my spiritual growth; then, within minutes or hours, the enemy will send someone in on the attack trying to snatch my joy away. I wish I could say he is never successful, but unfortunately he is--for a short time only, Praise God!!

I literally "sobbed" through your article reliving much of the same rejection as a child--from children and adults. I have printed a copy of your article, I'm placing it in my Beth Moore workbook, & I am asking God to free me from this stronghold that has kept me from my fulness in Christ for far too long.

Thank you so much for sharing your heart. In doing so, God has used you to begin a healing in my heart, spirit, & mind. Many blessings are wished for you and yours.

A sister in Christ,
Mary

I can totally relate. I am 58 years old and I still deal with feelings of rejection. The worst was when I sold my house, moved to SW Oklahoma (550 miles from home) after my husband died to be near my sister and she and her family rejected me for a while. I am still trying to get over that one. Yes I know Jesus will never reject me and I am so thankful for that, but we all need the friendship and support of people. God wired us that way. We just have to trust Him.

God is truly amazing, I have been dealing with rejection my whole life and i started to actually accept people's perception of me as a horrible, unlovable person.

About approximately two weeks ago God gave me Rom. 8 at a time when I was at my lowest point. I got up this morning focusing on that scripture and just decided to check my mails and wow!!!!

Reading this have me just thanking God and knowing that I am not alone and that God truly does love me and will never reject me. It has given me hope to continue inspite of the rejection that I face from others and I thank God that he is continuing to work on his children.

Thank you for this article, it has truly been a blessing

loved jane's blog as well as tiffany's comments... (no others given at time i sent this)

at root, is who do WE value more, the acceptance always, by our Lord, or the rejection/acceptance by others? it is we that determine whether we accept all our Lord has for us, because to value the acceptance/rejection of others, more than His acceptance of us, is to REJECT His acceptance for that of others...

praying for His continued healing, and our increased focus on our Lord for us all....

Hi
Thanks you for wirtting this to me. I am 50 something and still deal with the rejuction isue. I was questioning God last night on how can I accept his love but still let other people's opinions/ actions still hurt me the way they do?

I don't know what is causing the kink in the rope that I call my faith. I know that I have decided to accept God's love- a very concscious decsion. Yet the negative self talk comes back so easy.

I read the article that you referred to. It was helpful and I expect to book to do more of the same.

Thanks for sharing and listening.

You can never know how much I needed your story. I know your pain. But I didn't have the loving warmth of a mother. My mother, a God-fearing Christian, never once told me she was proud of me. No matter what my hurt, she always questioned me as to what I had done to deserve such treatment. She wanted the perfect daughter so others would look at her as the perfect mother and she wasn't lax with corporal punishment to make it happen. It was all about how she looked to others. I am a grandmother but the pain is still there. I'm thankful I have a wonderful Savior who always looks for my best. My mother died a few years ago and I truly look forward to seeing her in Heaven because then all my painful & hurtful memories will be no more.

Yes I can elate to the article too but did you ever think of the times you rejected someone? I am afraid we still do although perhaps on a more subtle level. Do we even think of the hurt we may cause others that are not in our group?

Thank you so much for this blog!!! Todays entry reads like a page from my life. Starting in early childhood I felt the sting of rejection. I was always the one left out of everything,laughed at,made fun of etc. Even now, some 30-years after finding my Lord and Saviour, those emotional scars rear their ugly heads at times. But I too know where my true value is....Jesus Christ, and He will never reject me! I am so thankful to my "forever friends" for leading me to my Heavenly Father.
I will be ordering Jennifer's book too!!
Blessings, Mary : )

This is exactly what I needed to hear! My best friend in the whole world (besides my husband) just told me last night that she was moving back home and for some reson, I took that as rejection. Being rejected by my mother since childhood has built and insecurity in me but never did I really think about God NEVER rejecting/leaving ME! Everytime someone cancels plans or RSVP' s with a no, moves away or just doesn't talk to me because they may have not "seen" me I feel rejected!

I wish that we as humans, didn't have to feel rejection, and maybe some more than others. But i am reminded as well, that our LORD and savior was rejected and despised of men, so what makes me think that I as just an earthling should recieve any less. So then reminding myself of that helps me to go on to the next friendship.At the same time I know so many that feel rejected, and I just wish there was a way for me to say or do the right thing for them to feel better. but that is hard to do when you feel so much rejection yourself.So what do i do , I just rely on the promises. that when all is said and done that the LORD himself, will wipe away all tears and there will be no more pain. What a wonderful day that will be when my JESUS I shall see!!

I felt as though I was reading about myself. Your words of inspiration have inspired me to look at myself through His eyes, with love. Thanks for sharing!!

THANK YOU FOR PRINTING THIS ARTICLE.BOY!!!!!!!CAN I RELATE TO THIS.BUT THIS ARTICLE AMAZES ME AS I WAS GOING THROUGH WHAT WAS MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE JUST THIS WEEK.THE LORD REALLY WAS TEACHING ME SOMETHING THROUGH IT ALL.EVEN TO THE POINT WHERE I WROTE A POEM ON LONELINESS.I GREW UP FEELING LONELY AND BEING LEFT ALONE ON OCCASSIONS.THANK YOU JESUS FOR TEACHES US THROUGH THOSE LONELY TIMES.GOD BLESS YOU FOR SHARING AND BEING OPEN TO THOSE WHO ARE GOING THROUGH THIS.

I can't believe I just read this. On Friday afternoon I succumbed to feelings of anger and despair as I watched a group of boys leave school for a birthday party, without my son. I could barely contain my emotions and am so sorry to say that I glared at the mom who was hostessing the party. I have suffered from feelings of not fitting in all my life and am especially sensitive to it. I have struggled all weekend with feelings of remorse for glaring at the mom mixed with continued feelings of hurt over this. I have asked for forgiveness and thanked God for convicting me of my anger. This message I have just read felt like God speaking to me, saying that He understands, He knows and is with me as I struggle with these unhappy feelings.

Jane, it's like you read my mind -- and my emotional life! Thank you so much for reminding us to refocus on the One who will never reject us and loves us forever. (And, I truly believe I was supposed to read this today, because I'm joining a new women's Bible study next week!) Your words are a blessing!

i never new that there would be someone who feels what i feel,it is amazing to hear how you handle the feeling of rejection.i appreciate it so much.it is truely encouraging.God bless you.

Beautiful! These articles really help me. I wasn't going to respond, but I decided I want this writer to know and understand that she is helping God's Kingdom of Girls with her writing. I need this stuff and I appreciate you listening to God's promptings within your heart and sharing your soul. Blessings to you My Sister!
And ((((((((Hugs))))))))

Thank you for that commentary. I too have felt that way all my life...it is an amazing thing that after 40plus years those painful memories still control my life. Thank God that he never will forsake me. Your writing is a blessing.

Thank you ! I can really relate to your article. I have suffered rejection all my life- from being tormented in school to being snubbed by other mothers when my daughter was in elementary school. I am 51 and still carry the feeling of unworthiness with me. I can say, looking back, that God must have been with me. I don't know where else I got the strength to get through it.

I read those touching words and as all of us can recall some time in our lives when we went through some sort of rejection, whether it be as a child, a young person or even worst yet as an adult because it really hurts. At present because of rejections in my life I have no friends but God and God alone..... and living on this earth I would want to think that we are all entitled to have a friend....

Thank you for those words of encouragement.

Ann

Boys can be bullies, but girls are terrible about doing this to other little girls. This is such a damageing behavior. Let's try our best as mothers to install a new benhaoir into our girls. Let's try to install a behavoir of being considerate others.

WOW, Just reading Jane's article and over all the responses one comes to understand just how much others feel the same things that we do. But some how the enemy convinces us, at the time, we are the only ones.

I too, have experience much rejection most of my life, but none more painful as when my husband of 24 years left me for another woman. I have dealt not only with his rejection but the rejection of his family also. God has held me and sustained me through this whole horrible ordeal. Daily I gain strength, courage, and feelings of love from Him and those he sends to help make me feel loved. I have to make a conscious effort every day not to let Satan steal my joy by reminding myself I am loved and accepted by the greatest of all, God. He will never leave me, forsake me, or belittle me. Glory be to God!

Here is a whole page full of comments/reponsese/stories -- all of us living the same life - maybe even neighbors or church family. One never knows, does one?
I've been rejected by my mother & my siblings, my own son, and my (step) daughter. My father is gone now but he was the one who never rejected me and always waited for me. Susan's comment was on target -- we've probably all rejected someone, didn't invite someone, etc and they felt the pain of our rejection. How sad a world is this?
I am now a Pastor's wife (for the past 1-1/2 years) and now feel the rejection of the 'church family'.
In the 52 years of my life, most have been filled with rejection. I know Jesus loves me. Yet the person who commented that we need acceptenance here on earth -- well o so true too.
So, let's look in the mirror @ ourself - and then turn to Jesus and say -- 'mold me and make me in Your image' and go out and love others & accept them with the love of Jesus.

Hey ladies, You know if you think about it most of the time most of us attrack people that have needs....Needs to talk, gossip through prayer request, needs to discuss their marriage/children's problems, needs to discuss others' etc.... That is because we are nice, sweet, and kind to others because of what we have been through during rejection. It's like they know we will listen and show concern. But do they return this? Where are they when we really need a friend to talk to? So our best friends should be our heavenly Father, husbands, mothers, and sisters etc.... They are the ones that really do care the most for us. Not just for what they can get from us but how they can love us. Have you ever had a friend that just emotionally drained you on a daily basis? Then she gets mad at you over one little thing and will not talk to you for a few days or for a while. You thought you were friends when you were actually just a sounding board. Your feeling are hurt etc... You ponder over and over in your head what you could have done different etc.... One day you realize that you were a friend and they were just really using you to sound off because you would listen and judge or make comments. Once you realize that you think that maybe it sure is nice to not have to worry about that person and her problems anymore. Perhaps you were side-traked taking care of her and not doing God's business. What a relief to not hear the whine and just be with those that love you the most. Hope this helps, In His Love

The ultimate rejection for a young child is abuse by a parent or trusted adult. It seems like other kids know when a child is carrying this weight on their shoulders and add to it, making the knife of rejection go deeper. The only hope is in the loving, caring arms of our Lord Jesus. But even that is difficult. When I try to imagine myself hugging or sitting on the lap of Jesus, the body memories come back to haunt me. The sense of rejection permeates every relationship and every interaction over fifty years later. But I am an overcomer in Christ, looking forward to that day I can be with Him forever.

You are truly a talented writer! Your words spoke directly to me and was very inspiring!

Whew...none of us are ALONE; we women share SO much...pain and hurts, but try to have a stiff upper lip and carry on strongly. It's nice to hear of others with soft/hurt spots. I constantly feel like an outsider at work due to the "group" participating in conversations and activities that I choose not to be a part of. Ultimately, I wonder if I'm rejecting them, but in the long haul I feel alone (just like Jesus) standing up for my principles/beliefs. I keep telling myself that Jesus was rejected and alone...attempting to stand up for the right things, and doing God's will.
Jane, thank you for inspiring us to talk about our hurts...to open the wounds for healing. I pray that everyone who relates will find strength in the stories of others, I did. :) Donna

It's amazing we have all been through this! But thanks to God for your writing this article, and also for being brave enough to put it out there. We need to know that God knows we are not alone, and that we can hope in His love and acceptance, for it is sure and unyielding. God bless you all, SIC (Sisters in Christ)!

Hi Everyone, from Australia, and thank you Jane for your openness & honesty.
I was born with Spina Bifida, walked with calipers & have continence problems, so I didn't have to wonder why some people avoided me! But Jesus made sure others loved & cared for me, physically & spiritually.
Ladies, let's all join together and PRAY.
Pray for all the 'others' - women who don't even know God & His wonderful comfort.
Pray for each other - don't be shy about forming groups to love & accept each other.
Pray for us too - those who are always 'a little bit behind' whether handicapped in mind, body or spirit.
I look forward to seeing you all in Heaven. Remember who we're fighting against!!

This sentance should say
One day you realize that you were a friend and they were just really using you to sound off because you would listen and not judge or make comments.

Sorry for that ladies. We all must remember that we need to be around people and that we must act according to how Jesus would.

Thanks for providing a place to share. We whom the world seems to have cast aside have a place near Jesus who can so relate with our hurts and wounds. We can join together and love and pray for one another.

We have all felt rejection in our lives, but the hardest yet is to watch your children be rejected not only by other children at times, but by family members.

My christian mother shows favoritism towards my bother's kids. I have tried to talk to her about this and the hurt it causes my kids and myself, but even though she knows this, she says she can't help it and we will just have to accept it and get over it.

I know she loves me and my kids and I try to ignore it, but it's hard at times. It is just a sad situation and hard to explain to the kids. But as my youngest son told me one day after a bad day at grandma's, "it's alright mom, it doesn't bother me, I am building character".

He was so right! We should keep our eyes on God he never forsakes us or rejects us. And as for the rest, try not to sweat it, we are building character. Don't let it steal your joy!

Clear back in the 1980's another author published a book about what to say when you talk to yourself, matter of fact I beleie that was its title. There may be a copyright infringment here.

I think it is fair to say that everyone has experienced rejection at one time or another in their lives. I know I certainly have. What I have found out is that with God's help we can move beyond this and seek out those who will not reject us. We do not have to continue to put ourselves in the "line of fire" with people who treat us poorly, even family. If you take the time to look around you will find people who are aching for a smile and a friendly face. If we can be the first to reach out a helping hand to these people, we have made a friend. Try it. It works!

I related to that story so much! From third grade when a group of girls started to pick on me for no reason to a week before graduation when I started receiving death threats (seriously), I was the rejected one all through school. There was one girl who said that she liked hanging around with me because (she said) I made her look "not as pathetic"...and I took that as a compliment! I even had a cousin who was popular tell me to not say "hi" to him if he was with friends. Thankfully Jesus was always there with me, otherwise I don't know what I would have done.

I sat down with a crying teenager outside church last week, someone had been unkind to her on the way out of Bible study class. I said what were you learning: 'about being born again'. Much good that did then...when will we have a faith which is based upon Jesus most important teaching- love God above all things, each other as we love ourselves. I am so tired of all the mean-spirited things which people do as part of their lives despite going to church and calling themselves Christian- apparently Jesus having given up his life means they are saved without further thought for what he actually taught as a way to live every day. Every revival takes us further and further from him, and closer to idolatry and cult. I cannot be part of a church where people wear one face on Sunday and another the rest of the time,some of the people at my church hurt so much it is painful to watch how they are simply ignored or fed platitudes instead of built up and renewed. I pray more and more and more about the future of Methodism and how far it has come from the beautiful faith I grew up with in England, based on equality and kindness.

Thanks Jane for that article,it is so encouraging.I experienced a very strong rejection last year which left me with lots of doubt whether im useful on this earth but later on the holy spirit directed me and reminded me that even if everyone deserted me but christ didnt and He will always bring someonelse forward to love me at such terrible moments.
On my graduation day even my own sisters who i live with where no were to be seen!they left me in alone.i felt like the world was consuming me ,but thanks be to God who brought my Pastor and his wife to stand with me as my biological parents.
One thing i know from God is there's someone who will favour me in times of trouble,when i pass from through the fire
God is there with me.

God bless you all,
sylvia

Isn't it amazing how childhood hurts linger and those feelings arise quickly in similar situations? I am 54 but still distinctly remember being edged to the outside of a physical circle of junior high girls at school and church. Sometimes, women at church in groups who know each other well can make me feel excluded when they quickly change conversation to people and subjects of their mutual experience. The good news is that with time, maturity and forgiveness, I now generally recognize the feelings of rejection and view the offending action as more likely to be rooted in thoughtlessness than unkindness. I have even carefully told people who needed to hear how it can be perceived, and they were receptive. I think that I am more sensitive to the person who is on the fringes in similar situations. I also tried hard to teach my kids to be kind.

Thankyou Jane for having the courage to use your story to bless others, i included.
God bless you.

I totally relate to this article. I feel rejected by my husband and his family but the most hurtful was when I gave birth to our daughter in May and his mother refused to come and 'greet' the baby as is our custom because i did not name the baby after her!.
I know it hurts my husband as well but i have my family rallying behind me and i have learnt that God always has a plan. Our daughter is very healthy and never has a problem. I have learnt to let go and not think too much about it. I pray for God's grace.

Bless you for sharing your story with us! I have felt rejection from a parent from a young age and it has been a huge impact on my life-many times with sad consequences as I tried to deal with it. I also had to let a marriage go after my husband abandoned me, a toddler, and our unborn child to pursue a new relationship. It has been a long trip to find God's Grace and see that He loves me, the real me! Now I must get this message through to two young girls who feel the loss of their father as they grow. Thank you for helping me find words for that lesson!

Boy, I too, can SO relate to this!!! I've known rejection all my life and am just now learning that Jesus will never reject me, thanks to a newly rekindled relationship with God. I had to fight back tears while reading these posts; they really struck some raw, tender nerves. It is bad enough in childhood, but then you get out of high school, and MAN!!! It's like some people are still in high school, what with all the popularity contests and butt- kissing in the workplace, the PTA, among family and in-laws, and yes, (sigh) even within the church! Sometimes the cruellest behaviors like cliqueyness, slandering, gossip, and exclusion of newcomers/outcasts are enough to drive even the most dedicated Christ- seeker away from the church. Sometimes church women can seem deceptively warm, kind, and "christian" but are often the most mean spirited, spiteful, insecure backstabbers behind your back! I've had to deal with this in my husband's family church, and I've also had his sisters-in-law engage in this behavior, going so far as to have their children see that our son was always singled out and shunned. We found out that they and their kids were spreading rumors about us and our son so he'd be excluded by his cousins, classmates, left out of sports, church youth group, etc. There is so much rivalry amongst his family it's ridiculous. After much prayer and heartache, my husband and I have decided it's best to distance ourselves from those people as much as possible, for our own sanity. It has been difficult to forgive when they chose to drag our innocent child into this just because they were mad or jealous of my husband/me. The real healing began when we started attending a different church, and we all love it. Our son is finally finding out what it's like to have real friends, and we are finding caring people there, who are really reaching out to us in Christ's love. I've found some caring women with whom I attend Bible study with; it's also a support group where we can admit we have less than perfect lives, and share tears, laughter, and prayers over the good and bad events in our lives. I'm taking it slow, as it's hard for me to trust people. I've prayed on this and I think God keeps revealing to me that this is a good thing. I'm also trying to be more cautious when judging a situation where I feel I'm being rejected. Sometimes it can be a simple missunderstanding. I'm acknowledging that I may be a little over- sensitive at times. But I also know that God has given me this sensitivity so I can understand and sympathize with others who've been through similar situations. Perhaps it's His will that someday I can use my experiences to help others see God's constant love and acceptence of us, even when the world rejects us. Peace and Blessings!