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September 27, 2010I Hate Watching People Have Sex
Do I love entertainment more than I love God?
With a free night and a bowl full of popcorn, I scrolled through the Netflix-watch-instantly movies. I came across a miniseries called The Pillars of the Earth. I enjoy history and this 12th-century story set in not-so-merry-old England sounded like it was right up my alley.
The first episode was great. I liked the characters and was curious about the storyline. But the second episode did me in. I really hate watching people have sex. If I came across a couple having sex (or even kissing) in real life, I’d quickly turn away and get out of there, feeling I’d intruded on something that was not meant for my eyes. And that’s the way I feel watching people have sex on TV.
The first two who had sex were a couple who obviously enjoyed it. I averted my eyes during that scene, but continued to watch the show. The second couple had perfunctory sex while they made plans to overtake a castle and large portion of land by any means possible. It was disgusting, but I put up with it and continued to watch. The third was a rape of a virgin by a man who had an incestuous relationship with his mother.
At this point I could go into a diatribe about what TV has come to, but it would be pointless. There are thousands of other shows out there like this, and it’s pretty clear we won’t be returning to Mayberry anytime soon on TV. Instead, what it has brought home to me is: Why didn’t I turn it off!? I would never have kept watching that when my kids were at home. As I write about it now, it appalls me that I put up with it, and it has made me think about my entertainment obsession.
My problem has become that I don’t know how to relax other than watching TV. I love to read, but when I have time to read in the evening, I can’t stay awake. So that has made the TV my default way to wind down.
In a way, I’m glad I ran across this disgusting miniseries. Like a person who gorges herself so much that she can’t wait to go on a diet, this has pointed out to me the lengths I will go in order to be entertained. And I can’t remember the last time I talked to God about what I watch.
So I’m trying to figure out how to turn over a new leaf. I’ve decided I don’t want to watch TV more than once or twice a week. But I’ll need something to do with my free evenings that will be relaxing. Some of my ideas are: Read aloud with my husband after dinner. Design and make costumes for my grandkids. Take long walks or bike rides. Call my sisters and find out what’s going on in their lives. Fix a gourmet meal that takes all evening. Have a campfire (in a legal fire pit) in the backyard. Spend that time praying and reading my Bible.
What about you? Do you feel the need to find another default besides TV? If so, share your ideas. I’m all ears!
Comments
I recently read that TV doesn't relax the mind: it does the opposite! Television stimulates us in the same way we might be startled when a deer jumps in front of our car. That reaction in the brain is multiplied many times over when we watch television. Wow! To answer your question, I write in the evenings, read new books, and get the house "reset" for the morning. By the time the dishwasher is emptied, clothes laid out, and everything put away, I have no time for television! If I do have free time, I blog about anything that showed me God's love that day.
Posted By: LivewithFlair | September 27, 2010 3:25 PM
Oh goodness! I am so glad I read this. I had heard so many good things about The Pillars of the Earth that I was planning on renting it (I was given the impression that it was clean, unlike some of those other miniseries/series that HBO comes out with.
But your thoughts....that's why I don't have cable or satellite anymore. I still watch a lot of TV, but not near what I used to.
Posted By: Leslie | September 30, 2010 10:05 AM
Listening to a podcast would be another way to entertain yourself if reading puts you to sleep. My time-waster has become Facebook. Usually the t.v. is on too and it's just a diversion from doing something a little more heady or physically demanding (something I desperately need). My job is demotivating and I have a fair amount of stress at church, so oftentimes I just want to veg out. I admit, t.v. and Facebook have becomes escapes and I know it. I knowingly engage in online Scrabble game after game after game because I just want want an escape. But going for a walk would be relaxing too and it would benefit my health. Although not a shopper, strolling a mall one evening just taking in the sights and sounds might help too. Or going to the library to read. One time on vacation I curled up in a comfy chair and read through one of C.S. Lewis' Narnia books. Just this morning I was thinking of letting my niece know that I would babysit for her sometime since she just had a baby a little over a month ago and is also going to school. If we stop and think about it, there are probably countless other things we could do that would also be a better use of our time. Nothing wrong with a little mindless activity now and then, but when it becomes habitual or an escape from dealing with real issues, then we need to reassess.
Posted By: Pat | October 1, 2010 10:33 AM
I have no patience for TV. I just watch the news (which is not the most pleasant thing) and then I turn it off. I love to do art journaling. A person doesn't have to be an artist to do this. Anything goes. Just search the internet for art journaling and a feast for the eyes and inspiration will pop up.
Posted By: Suzanne | October 1, 2010 12:54 PM
I used to consume a lot of my evenings with the tv until this past Lent when a friend and I decided that we would use at least one evening per week after our gym workout to pray for our city. I have gone beyond Lend and have been avoiding the TV for at least 3 or 4 nights per week. I use the time to pray and also to fast. The results (physically) have been amazing. I lost quite a bit of weight and felt that i was doing something mighty powerful in the realms of the Kingdom.
Posted By: Tina | October 1, 2010 3:07 PM
So how can we get the media to realize we don't want to be voyeurs. We'd just like to watch a little entertainment. I read Christian books, but I'd like to be able to watch a movie or tv without having to avert my eyes and close my ears.
Posted By: Melody | October 2, 2010 3:51 AM
I am glad you hear these thoughts shared as I have been seriously considering my own consumption of tv in the past year or so with the result that I have learned to cut out many tv shows and movies. When I stopped to consider (truly consider) what I was watching I realized it was doing more than making me uncomfortable. Large amounts of tv and movies were sapping me of my creativity. I do watch some favorite shows but I try to no longer just sit down to find a show or settle on a movie to rent (reviews are a wonderful help). I have developed a helpful standard of trying to avoid tv shows or movies that I would not be proud of telling anyone that I watched.
Posted By: Emily | October 2, 2010 4:24 PM
My family has been TV-free for 13 years. For relazation we read a lot of books. If you want to sit in front of a tv screen to relax you could always buy DVDs of old tv series that you know didn't include sexual situations and watch them. Catching up with friends on Facebook is fun. Sewing and scrapbooking, or learn how to crochet or knit are all things that are fun and actually produce something that will prevent you from just wasting time staring at the tv. (My husband suggested that instead of watching other people have sex on tv that it would be fun and relaxing to have sex with your own husband!)
Posted By: Pam B | October 3, 2010 8:50 AM
While away on a weekend retreat with my husband we talked about media in our home and how much computer time our children were having. We decided on a 1 month media break, which, much to my dismay, meant that I'd have to give up my mindless, 'unwinding' TV in the evenings. I am now 7 months into my TV break and am only the better for it. I like cop/crime shows, which often opened with horrendous acts of violence (I would make sure my 13 year old was out of the room, but sit there myself?!) or contained unhealthly motivations/relationships, often adulterous in nature, revealed through the course of the show. It literally took me about 2 weeks of having an agitated energy as I searched for a different way to unwind. After 3 weeks I was comfortable with it. Now I forget I ever watched it. I work, read, walk, clean, spend time with my husband, and wonder how I would ever fit TV into my life if I had to. It's a choice. It wasn't that long ago that no one watched TV to unwind.
Posted By: Andrea | October 3, 2010 8:36 PM
Actually, I knew I didn't try to watch the miniseries because I had read a few chapters of the book and knew there was probably going to be sex scenes. Unfortunately, reading does not automatically offer an escape from the explicit. My recreational reading consists mostly of kids' lit.
Posted By: Anne | October 3, 2010 8:38 PM
I have been without TV (other than an ocassional Netflix movie once or twice a month) for 2.5 years and do not miss it at all. It drains us of the life that God so wants us to experience. It takes our focus away from our families, friends and closeness with God. It fills our head with worthless junk (most of it anyway) and leaves us feeling void of any real substance. As a single, divorced female in my 30s, this is how I spend my evenings: working out at the gym, running, yoga, hiking, social outtings, cooking dinner, relaxing with a book, calling a friend or family member, reading the Word or go to bed early. There have been very few nights that I sat and wondered whta I should do. If anything, just sitting in silence, quieting my mind and meditating has brought me more peace and fulfillment in life than anything on TV ever could. Thanks for bringing up this topic!
Posted By: Amy | October 8, 2010 10:02 AM